Michael Phelps Just Got $100 Million Hotter
On Saturday night, Michael Phelps became the greatest human being that ever lived after he won his 10 millionth Olympic gold medal or something like that. Saint Angelina even bowed down to him for a quick second. Anybutterface, Michael's 8 gold medals could earn him up to $100 million in endorsement deals. WTF? For splashing around in a pool?!
Michael's agent spoke to the Wall Street Journal and right after he finished wiping the drool from his greedy mouth, he said, "What is the value of eight golds in Beijing before a prime-time audience in the US? I'd say 100 million dollars over the course of his lifetime." His agent said that he's been getting around 50 offers a day. 49 of those are offers from cougars and gay dudes who want to do the body butterfly with him on their waterbeds. You know who you are....MOM!
Michael already has deals with Speedo, Hilton and Omega. One industry expert said that if he leaves Speedo, Nike could pay him up to $50 million. Bitch better get that money! And once he gets it, he better build Debbie Phelps a crystal palace, because she deserves it! That woman is a diamond.
AND! Michael Phelps has already reached Chuck Norris levels of awesomeness. Someone started a website full of "Michael Phelps Facts." Here are some of my favorites:
Water drinks Michael Phelps.Every time you see a shooting star you are really watching Michael Phelps train in space.
If you look into the eye of a hurricane you will see Michael Phelps swimming.
Sure Jesus walked on water, but Michael Phelps swims through land.
Newborn dolphins learn to swim by watching footage of Michael Phelps.
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haha I love those Phelpisms ... Michael Phelps is Obama’s and McCain’s plan for alternative energy to power America.
MK, Mr. Phelps demands your respect!! Dont make me come over there to NYC to smack your tushy after I pinch your butt cheeks first of course. You play nice now!
Submitted by Emeriesan on August 19, 2008 - 6:55am.
Usually I love a man in a catsuit, but i dont know about this - must be the lack of glitter, eyeliner and blonde locks.
Also, I understand tightness is needed here for aerodynamic purposes - but transparent pieces?
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Visibility due to transparency is gooood, but visible lack of bodyhair not so much.
p.s. Love the avatar! Proving that guyliner can be wore non-douchily (its a word)
Someone let the trapped leech out....it can't breathe....
* SAVE THE FORESTS, EAT MORE BEAVERS!!!*
This is what the agent's of Mark Spitz and Bruce Jenner said.Where are they today?Bruce is doing a Fucked Up reality show due to his present wife and her fucked up kids.Where is Mark well... where is he?
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Who was that guy last night,he left the seat up damn!
He should have his own reality dating show called "I Wanna Be a Golddigger". With $100 mil he could pull some truly shameless hos. I'd watch.
huge balls
Well, that all being said, I'd rather an athlete get this kind of attention for their work than an actor who just pretends to be someone else for a living and gets paid 20mill.
Ok we get it, he's good and all but athletes are way overrated, I mean sport is good only when it doesnt involve that much money...cause then it all becomes a matter of money and sport loses all its beauty imo.
Usually I love a man in a catsuit, but i dont know about this - must be the lack of glitter, eyeliner and blonde locks.
Also, I understand tightness is needed here for aerodynamic purposes - but transparent pieces?
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"Our business in life is not to succeed but to continue to fail in good spirits" RL Stevenson
He is my favorite. Just saw his personals ID on millionaires personals site """""""""C e l e b C u p i d.c o m""""""""""" yesterday. I am wondering what kind of relationship he is looking for on that site.
Sport is stupid. Athletes are stupid. I am adding a third sentence to my comment just to overextend the reading capabilities of the mentally challenged who are into sports.
Looking at this pic makes me uncomfortable like after seeing "Harry Potter's" peen pics...just seems wrong.
Just Like A White Winged Dove
a dingle AND the berries so...exposed...I was wondering why the gays were lusting after him, his face is so buttery - it must be the outfit!
He doesnt even have a million dollars. Thats an estimate of the total amount of money he COULD make in his lifetime. Thats not even that much money, just like a million dollars aint what it use to be, in 70 years time when Phelps is old, 100 million total wont seem like such a high number. And about the vitruvian man comparison?? huh , I dont know how Speedo would compare the two. One is suppose to symbolize the perfect male body, the other is a makeup of disproportioned limbs, with a fug fucking face. The public is REAL stupid if they fall for that shit.
"When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep - not screaming, like the passengers in his car. "
WOW complete with total dick outline, looks like he has a boner. Well he did make 100 million if I had a dick I'd probably do the same thing too!
Your face!
Submitted by Momus the Sarcastic on August 18, 2008 - 6:24pm.
He's actually posed like DaVinci's "Vitruvian Man". You know because people keep saying he's some perfect genetic oddity.
If you go to Speedo's website for the LZR suits you can see the finished picture.
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"Oh lord, please help our athletes bring home the gold, enough gold so we can melt it down and buy back our economy from the Chinese". - Stephen Colbert
Yeah, I also get the feeling he's a homo too...he even has "busted gay face" most of the time..
Lucky he wears a cap when swimming, with those ears imagine the drag, he'd come last every time!!
He looks like a VW beetle with the doors open..after a head-on into a brick wall! Also, teeth like an explosion in a graveyard. BUT he's an Olympic hero and i'm an ugly nobody, so he wins.
ps*** shocked that MK never mentioned the willy!! Is MK coming out the straight closet??????
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“Guns don't kill people, people kill people, and monkeys do too (if they have a gun).”
$100 million still cannot make him hot. It's those ears and something about him looks "slow".
And what kind of an ass gets a stiffy while posing for pictures (that's the picture Speedo has on their website)? If he's not, then good for him (large and rich? Damn still not hot). Otherwise, ugh, save that sh-t for when your not in public perv.
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"Oh lord, please help our athletes bring home the gold, enough gold so we can melt it down and buy back our economy from the Chinese". - Stephen Colbert
wtf kind of facts are those...? people are strange...
@demetia
Ita! There's a lot more hard work into being an athlete than some vain actor! Singers often require skill and working on the voice at least! Though some actors seem to work hard, it seems like too many are a bunch of fame whores!
------------------------------------------------------------- *I used to Love Celebrities, now I just love to Hate them!*
@demetia
Ita! There's a lot more hard work into being an athlete than some vain actor! Singers often require skill and working on the voice at least! Though some actors seem to work hard, it seems like too many are a bunch of fame whores!
------------------------------------------------------------- *I used to Love Celebrities, now I just love to Hate them!*
I know about dick. He measures no more than 5 inches, relatively thick though. Oddly enough he has big balls but a huge sack. His whole body is disproportioned like his wing span, is larger that it should be, so it makes sense that in that department he would be off as well.
Does anyone know whether he is gay. I saw him in several interviews and he just has this je ne sais-quoi about him. I just would not be surprised by any means if in a few years he comes out with having a bf. And with a dick like that, those endorsements better have come through.
"When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep - not screaming, like the passengers in his car. "
I'd rather someone like him, who works damn hard to get that money instead of the parasites that are out there now.
Let kids look up to him instead of the celebutards out there.
The guy swims really fast in a straight line.
That's it, that's what he does, that's all.
This world is beyond stupid.
omg MK "splashing around in a pool?" LMFAO
-=meow hiss purr=-
I don't think he's ugly, necessarily, just doesn't seem to take a good picture. And he really is beautifully built.
Okay, here's a good picture:
http://farm1.static.flickr.com/124/381028570_083475b1f7.jpg
Does he really have a little Olympic ring tattoo on his right hip? I thought at first that was just a subtle design on that kinky unitard he's wearing, but there it is again.
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Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. --Dr. Seuss
I dunno why people equate him at all to celebutards like Blohan. Unlike them, he actually works hard for what he does, and 99% of that work is a glamless biz.
I'd sure as hell rather see HIM get a 100 million in endorsements than the Trolls, Blohan, Shitney, Parasite, or most of the worthless actors and singers you see on these pages. Unlike them, what he does requires work, skill, dedication, and more than just walking in and posing for the camera.
And I sees a penis!
That picture is proof that he is not hot. Hes ew, just ew. gross
That boy is packin some SERIOUS heat.
i love him, but is it bad that i have hopes he will go through a lohan phase with all his wealth? buying ounces of coke at a time and having a house constantly stocked with booze and passed out celebrity hanger ons. thats what i would do, anyway....
We'll see. He still has a DUI on his record.
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Don't dream it... BE it!
**Hear Blanche Deverough**
OH NOW As I live and breathe! I do say he looks like a growah... owa, maybe hes jus'so big in the first playce, it looks small but really it's alreadah huuuuuge! Waiyt'ill he gits a bonah!
Time heals all wounds, Laughter prevents scarring.
Submitted by anony54321 on August 18, 2008 - 9:01pm.
how on earth did mr dlisted resist a peepee comment?
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I know, right? He prolly took one look at that picture and said: Fuck you, Homes, I make my own GD jokes!
♥ ThreadKilla! / Lean Like a Chola / She's a Lady.
I can only find pictures of the girl twin.
Well, he certainly is circumcised!
ummmm PEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENNNNNNNNNNNNNNIIIIIIIISSSSSSSSSSSS
sorry
I'll take "The Penis Mightier" for $400 please, Alex.
I don't like being flashed by his peen, but I do like the quip about baby dolphins.
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"You don't remember the motorcycle gang? Doing the striptease in front of them at the bar? The iguana? Good God, man. Tell me you remember the iguana!"
Submitted by Mrs.Kravitz on August 18, 2008 - 8:48pm.
Submitted by DeeDee on August 18, 2008 - 6:46pm.
His package is at eye level for me!
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Very efficacious
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*giggle snort* :)
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Girls with large kolaches shouldn't be talking all Slitty! ~Sluttsville
[clutches pearls] oh my, wouldn't you think they would use some thicker, less sheer material in the crotch area?
i'm not mad at phelps..get that money while you can...
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the world is great big old place for all of us to fuck up in it...
uhmm. gold and a swimsuit that shows his peen....golden
get your own life perfect......then come talk to me!!!!!! ~~Michelle Aline~~
Well, if someone has to get $100 million, I'd rather see it go to him than people like the Lohans, the Olsens, The Hilton sisters, Brooke Hogan, The Kardashians, Brangelina, anyone from The Hills, etc.
I just hope he doesn't catch herpes from Paris or use that money on plastic surgery and come out looking like Bruce Jenner.
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"That was the most ludicrous pack of verbal peanut butter buttfuck I have ever read." ~DebFrmHell
http://www.myspace.com/zoloftpony
Ok. Hi Phelps, Jr. How nice we finally get to see a little bit of you.
He looks thick, and that is aight. Nose and hands, friends. I think we've got a winner!
And actually, he actually looks good in the face here.
I am not going to knock Phelps, and for the sake of being an anonymous snark hound, I will not. You can't hate on him for being exceptional in a capacity that few of us can possibly comprehend. I can't wait for the hometown welcome. It will be awesome. Not as awesome as my binoculars in his window every night, but entertaining nontheless.
^^^
the poster formerly known as jammer
Submitted by DeeDee on August 18, 2008 - 6:46pm.
His package is at eye level for me!
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Very efficacious
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Nervenzusammenbruch
Submitted by Manimal5 on August 18, 2008 - 8:20pm.
I guess if you were to walk up to someone wearing an outfit like that you can't help but notice the bulge,"Hey Mike Phelps, congrats on the eight penises...er ..medals".
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Hahaha, not to mention it would be hard to focus on his face. Isn't he 6'5"? His package is at eye level for me!
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Girls with large kolaches shouldn't be talking all Slitty! ~Sluttsville
I can see his religion through the spandex.
Gold medal!
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"Oh you little bitch troll from hell!" -- Patsy Stone
Wow.....Michael Phelps.....AWESOME athlete...solid body..That's quite the outfit he's got on.
Gay or not gay....that is the question.
But really, do we care?
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So why are we all here again?
I guess if you were to walk up to someone wearing an outfit like that you can't help but notice the bulge,"Hey Mike Phelps, congrats on the eight penises...er ..medals".
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I think it's terrific that Phelps is doing so incredibly well for himself, but the encased penis is pretty repulsive! :-O Other then that, I think Phelps is a great guy who is amazingly perservering, dedicated, down to earth, family-oriented sweetheart who worked for basically a decade in order to achieve something so phenomenal. Way to go!!!