John Opens Up To The Paparazzi
As John Mayer left the gym in NYC yesterday, he talked to his best friends, the paparazzi, about his break-up with Jennifer Aniston. He said, "There's no lying, there's no cheating, there's no nothing. Jennifer Aniston is the smartest, most sophisticated person I think I have ever met."
He went on to say, "But she tied me to the bed with mink handcuffs, put on sexy lingerie and kept calling me her 'mormon husband.'" Okay, he didn't say that last part, but Jennifer Aniston is totally the next Bernann McKinney. She's going to try and clone Brad Pitt using the hair she cut from his head every night as he slept. Believe it.
When asked what went wrong with their fairytale romance, he answered, "Well, I figured out I was dating Jennifer Aniston." No, he said, "People are different, people have different chemistry. I ended a relationship to be alone, because I don't want to waste somebody's time if something's not right." Translation: "She poked holes in the condoms to try and get pregnant and I'm a man whore who can't control his 'Dominican penis.'"
Here's Mayer with his brother in NYC last night. I know he's related to John Mayer, because I can see the douche in his eyes. That shit is genetic.
ShareThis
Submitted by The C word on August 17, 2008 - 11:16pm.
He’s so boring he makes me wonder what Katie Holmes is wearing today.
Heh heh. Nice one.
----------------------------------------------------
TimTams Rule!
Snarky I don't know her either but I seriously don't feel bad for her, with all the money and shit she has, it seems she has managed all the media to turn her into this fragile woman, which she might or not be.
But when you date someone that is younger than you and you want to have babies, you are not vulnerable you are desperate! Or just plain stupid cause a younger guy won't be likely to settle down.
--------------------------------
"Hahaha....you are eating my caca and paying for it. Meeeeow." No gracias. MK
yeah, right *coffwhorecoff*
Why be difficult when you can be impossible!
what a douchebag and an asshole...so he and jen broke up...move on...why the need to run to the paps...
____________________________________________
the world is great big old place for all of us to fuck up in it...
Submitted by Paquita on August 17, 2008 - 10:51am.
Snarky, how is Jennifer Aniston vulnerable? Seriously...no mean to offend but how is she a vulenrable woman?
I don't know her personally, but I do assume that she might want to find a relationship at some point. This whole Brangelina thing might have taken its toll on her emotions, but, maybe not, that's just tabloid crap, she might have been doing fine for all we know. But have you noticed, like I have, that a relationship HAS To be with another celebrity? It's like meeting a normal person is out of the question if you're a celebrity. You MUST match up with another celebrity, that's the unwritten rule of Hollywood, and apparently, it's slim picken's. ;)
His picture is in the dictionary next to the word Douchebag
He is so vulgar... He must have a big d*ck, otherwise i don't understand how JA hanged out with him for so long...
JayZ, big pimping, fuck em love em leave em, but I don't fucking feed them.
Jay Z is my love doctor.
-----------------------------------------------
"what're you still doing here? Didn't I tell you to go home and fuck your mother?"
Could this guy be any more boring?
~♥~"Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift. That is why they call it a present.” – Eleanor Roosevelt~♥~
Snarky, how is Jennifer Aniston vulnerable? Seriously...no mean to offend but how is she a vulenrable woman?
--------------------------------
"Hahaha....you are eating my caca and paying for it. Meeeeow." No gracias. MK
Submitted by Snarkley on August 17, 2008 - 1:36pm.
How about - He's a douchebag who took advantage of a vulnerable woman for some cheap publicity and a quick lay. That's as good a translation as any.
* * * * *
I think you just about nailed it there!
What a pompous douchebag. Keep your mouth shut, JM!
Teriann
We are talking about respect, you guys still at who dump who. you guys are inmature like this littel boy.
He’s so boring he makes me wonder what Katie Holmes is wearing today.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
My lyrics are sometimes sexist
But bitches oughta know
I’m trying to correct this.
Who *opens up to the papparazi*? This guy should get with Pheobe Price. They could open up to the papparazi together in parking lots & store fronts all over LA.
***********
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=18TLHhhHZCA&feature=related
I like John and don't blame him, there was no chemistry. Huvane her pr guy has already released how she dumped him because he cheated. Jen is older and should be more wiser.
That's his brother? Yuckers. I guess John is considered the 'good-looking' one?
I hate him. The grown up, classy thing to do would to have not said anything at all about the breakup. But then again, he doesn't have any class. He'sobe of those nerdy kids who grew up and wanted to date the hot girls and then dump them to get revenge. I thinj JA dumped him this time though. I hate him
I miss the batman hoodie.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dick happens! - MK
For godsake, shut up. I wanted Jennifer Anniston to get away from this douche, or at least to follow the four F's...
Find 'em.
Feed 'em.
Fuck 'em.
Forget 'em.
If I click on the words "Dominican Penis" I expect to see a big, juicy meatlog not a stupid article. It's way to early in the morning for that kind of trickery MK.
______________________________________________________________
... the Madden brother who is intent of effin' Paris Hilton despite how HIV+ that experience can be - Drunken Stepfather.
Jesus, didn't Jennifer know better? what's next, her date with chrissy crocker??
-----------------------------------------------
"what're you still doing here? Didn't I tell you to go home and fuck your mother?"
I thought this man was a good guy, until he open his mouth. John take your fifteen miniues of fame , get out. All this blha blha blha talk to the paparazy is to brag about he call the shot. Ok you are the king we got littel boy.
Vince is the man , i respect that man.
I love how he says he ened it. Soon we'll hear nothing from her camp about how SHE ended it.
Who cares about these two douches? You're only good as your last movie, song, etc. That "Wonderland" song was ages ago. And Jen's last good movie (chuckle, yeah I know) was waaaaayy before that.
++++++++++++++++++++
Is there a cold spell in the States right now? What is with all these celebrities dressing like it's October? Katie Holmes is dressed like she's about to pick a pumpkin for her Halloween party. It's fucking August you a-holes!
----------------------------------------------------
TimTams Rule!
How about - He's a douchebag who took advantage of a vulnerable woman for some cheap publicity and a quick lay. That's as good a translation as any.