John Opens Up To The Paparazzi
As John Mayer left the gym in NYC yesterday, he talked to his best friends, the paparazzi, about his break-up with Jennifer Aniston. He said, "There's no lying, there's no cheating, there's no nothing. Jennifer Aniston is the smartest, most sophisticated person I think I have ever met."
He went on to say, "But she tied me to the bed with mink handcuffs, put on sexy lingerie and kept calling me her 'mormon husband.'" Okay, he didn't say that last part, but Jennifer Aniston is totally the next Bernann McKinney. She's going to try and clone Brad Pitt using the hair she cut from his head every night as he slept. Believe it.
When asked what went wrong with their fairytale romance, he answered, "Well, I figured out I was dating Jennifer Aniston." No, he said, "People are different, people have different chemistry. I ended a relationship to be alone, because I don't want to waste somebody's time if something's not right." Translation: "She poked holes in the condoms to try and get pregnant and I'm a man whore who can't control his 'Dominican penis.'"
Here's Mayer with his brother in NYC last night. I know he's related to John Mayer, because I can see the douche in his eyes. That shit is genetic.
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im betting that he dumped her, because she was the one following him around on his douchebus. he probably is blabbing because she told people he dumped her or some shit.
-=meow hiss purr=-
God DebFrmHell, yes, I know the basic thrust that runs the tabloid industry. My OBVIOUS point was that this shit wouldn't sell if the whole divorce hadn't happened because nobody actually really cares about Jennifer Aniston (what acting has she done in the past 3 years?). They care about "the victim," and I said I felt sorry for her. You try way too hard to be a bitch to me. It's ok honey, it doesn't have to be about you all the time.
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I’m like an American princess. - Paris Hilton
I have things no heiress has. I've done it all on my own. Like a hustler. - Paris Hilton
Aphid:
Your paintings are really amazing! I wish a had that talent:(
Everything Alfred Hitchcock,The Exorcist, Silence of the Lambs, The Shinning, Poltergeist, Frankenstein, anything Vincent Price, Halloween, Dracula, Nosferatu Misery, Alien, Jaws, Rosemary's Baby, The Omen, Dawn of the Dead, Blair Witch Project. Theres soooo many really I guess all of the classics.
Ps. TV shows Eerie Indiana, Goosepumps, Hocus Pocus (I was a 90s kid) Aadams Family, The Munsters (TVland).
OT:I hope the best for Jen
Diamond - Thank you! I'm here in Hell Lay. Are you too?
I occasionally sell stuff on ebay but I've been taking a much-needed break.
I also have been doing "loteria" (Mexican bingo) inspired stuff.
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"I still think we should find a way to let Brangelina know that there are people out here who love them and want to wish them all the best… I wanna write a poem like some other people did but I’m not that smart. "
Meds rounds? I suppose that was some attempt to be clever, like I must be insane for having any of the pretty fucking innocuous opinions I posted. Whatever. If only I could be exactly like everyone here.
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I’m like an American princess. - Paris Hilton
I have things no heiress has. I've done it all on my own. Like a hustler. - Paris Hilton
Cooch? Does it never occur to you that the things we read in the rags are generated in an effort to sell yet more rags and ad space prices go up? Jen Aniston, for better or worse, generates a great deal of cash on stories that are less than credible. Same with probably one dozen "stars" that are guaranteed upsells....
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"Practically" is not an option when it comes to virginity.
Aphid - totally rocketh!! Loving #2. That should be on a baseball cap, definitely a t-shirt. But I would suggest something alternative - LIKE A SCARF or on a handbag! Are you selling?
Ed Hardy is doing some similar patterns, but I don't think DotD - all glittery and stuff. I bought a very cool baseball cap at Venice Beach in July that had the colors and bedazzled thing going with the wild imagery (mine says "True Love" but it looks scary), but still no DotD. I bought a pair of sneakers (Van's type) recently with pirate-type skulls.
I'm loving how this whole genre is filtering into the pop culture and getting a little de-mystified.
Might I suggest a female skeleton in full China Poblana costume? (Kdraco, where are you). #1 has a China Poblana style skirt....
Where do you live Aphid? NY?
Hi Deb, I've used it once or twice in the past...looking at them makes me want to paint a little more but I've been such a couch potato lately....I have a bunch of paper maiche boxes though that I've been thinking about painting on, doing some tattoo flash designs and some DotD too...
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"I still think we should find a way to let Brangelina know that there are people out here who love them and want to wish them all the best… I wanna write a poem like some other people did but I’m not that smart. "
Ugh, I was irked with Douche Mayer when he started dating Jessucka Simpson. I'm still irked with him now.
Chris thank you, and since I'm a renter I used good ol' water-based acrylic on canvas. Easy to clean!
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"I still think we should find a way to let Brangelina know that there are people out here who love them and want to wish them all the best… I wanna write a poem like some other people did but I’m not that smart. "
@Aphid,
You should use the last one for your avie. The small one is the one I liked the best.
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"Practically" is not an option when it comes to virginity.
Submitted by Cooch.Roue on August 17, 2008 - 9:52am.
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The nurses are making meds rounds. You're next.
nobu is a sushi joint.
Submitted by Aphid on August 17, 2008 - 9:48am.
here's some little paintings I did. Everyone sorry for being off-topic.
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Coolio! (quoting Uncle Rico, Napoleon Dynamite)
And don't apologize for being off-topic!! this topic suks-a-fuk (quoting Donnie Dark)
brb after i look at yur art!!
RFLMAo @ Oxygen
@ Chris Eccleston - I only saw Shaun of the Dead for the FIRST TIME about 4 mos ago after my brother INSISTED that I see it. So friggin' hilarious.
God, I feel so sorry for Jennifer Aniston. I don't really have any strong feelings for her one way or another when it comes to her as a person or actress, but it has been 3 YEARS since she split with Brad. Nobody would care this much about her love life if she hadn't gone through the massively public breakup thing, and it seems like she's getting the raw end of the deal even though she was the victim. Why does anyone care who she's dating?!? Although I must admit I do have a soft spot in my heart for John Mayer, even though he's a douche. Mmmmm. (And I actually thought they made sense as a couple, in a weird way.)
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I’m like an American princess. - Paris Hilton
I have things no heiress has. I've done it all on my own. Like a hustler. - Paris Hilton
Submitted by Aphid on August 18, 2008 - 1:48am.
Nice. What did you use? I'm trying to get into painting myself, and I can't decide what to use.
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TimTams Rule!
Diamond Dawg, I haven't made the foray into jewelry yet but I've considered it.
here's some little paintings I did. Everyone sorry for being off-topic.
http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y108/SporkyPig/DOTDpainting1.jpg
http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y108/SporkyPig/ebay120.jpg
http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y108/SporkyPig/DOT.jpg
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"I still think we should find a way to let Brangelina know that there are people out here who love them and want to wish them all the best… I wanna write a poem like some other people did but I’m not that smart. "
Ugh... He's like that kid at a family gathering when you're little, who is urged by all the adults to "please, honey, play the piano for us!" and is praised left and right, and he pretends not to want to play the piano, and that he doesn't like the attention, but eventually he is "convinced" to play a piece and he does -- and he kind of sucks, too -- but you're forced to clap out of politeness, and he thinks he's all that.
In other words, put the mask back on, John, or go away. Please.
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Boats n' Hoes, gotta have me my boats n' hoes.
www.myspace.com/dreamhypnotique
Submitted by DiamondDawg on August 18, 2008 - 1:40am.
I love Manhunter! William Peterson was so much better than whatshisname at Will Graham. The guy that played Lecter sucked balls though.
I really like the Cell, too. I haven't seen it in forever. Shaun of the Dead was fantastic.
The one movie that never fails to scare the shizz out of me is Poltergeist. Yeah, I know. It's just the scene in the swimming pool gave me nightmares when I was a kiddy.
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TimTams Rule!
Submitted by DiamondDawg on August 17, 2008 - 12:40pm.
...
Of the ones you listed, my favs are
Whatever happened to Baby Jane (1962)
The Exorcist
Manhunter (1986) - same history as Silence/Lambs
The Exorcist
Silence of the Lambs
28 Days
"Whatever Happened to Baby Jane" is one of my favorite classics. I was BJ one year for Halloween and my BF was the sister. We had the rat on a platter and all!!!
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http://www.myspace.com/oxygen162
Submitted by Pimpcessa on August 17, 2008 - 8:52am.
Must be a really slow day over at JJ.
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Hear no evil.
See no evil.
Speak no evil.
Submitted by Aphid on August 17, 2008 - 9:38am.
P.S. Halloween is my favorite holiday too! I do a lot of Day of the Dead artwork
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really??!?! do you have a link so we can see it? Do you also do any DotD jewelry? There's a woman at work who has this totally cool necklace made by these two friends of hers who collaborat - the necklace is on an oxidized sterling silver chain and the pendant is a silver shadow box with glass and inside is an image of human skeleton. She won't give me the names of the women who made it!! pissed.
I suspect Jennifer didn't worship him the way he thinks he ought to be worshiped. And yes, if he had a chemistry problem with her he would have known right away. Nice way to insinuate he's too much of a sexual tiger for that nice girl from Friends. Keep perpetuating that watered down Dave Matthews sound, John. Maybe one day you'll manage to convince us how hot and deep you really are.
"Society sooner or later must return to its lost leader,the cultured and fascinating liar. . ."
Oscar Wilde
Fuk these two douchebags. Let's talk about horror movies instead!
I like film noir a little more than horror movies. Here's my list of favorites (that I can think of at the moment with fuzzy sunday morning brain):
Suddenly Last Summer (1959)
Carnival of Souls (1962) - awesome!!
Whatever happened to Baby Jane (1962)
The Exorcist
Twin Peaks (tv show and movie)
Manhunter (1986) - same history as Silence/Lambs
Mulholland Drive
The Exorcist
Silence of the Lambs
Shaun of the Dead
28 Days
The Cell (only saw it once, will NEVER see it again!)
Hi everyone, hope you're all having a great weekend
Happy birthday to all you awesome Leos out there, the ones on the list included (even you, Madge, you freak)
P.S. Halloween is my favorite holiday too! I do a lot of Day of the Dead artwork
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"I still think we should find a way to let Brangelina know that there are people out here who love them and want to wish them all the best… I wanna write a poem like some other people did but I’m not that smart. "
Vote for Bernnan Mckinney for " Hot Babe Of The Year "
Jenn has all the right background to be the next Bernnan Mckinney.
DiamondDawg:
That sounds like fun! I've always hated Trick or treating I'd rather stay home watch some movies, light some candles and celebrate the dead, as weird and bizarre as that sounds.
Still OT since JM likes to run around with masks on...but I LOVE HALLOWEEN TOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
Last year, I handed out the candy while my BF, dressed like Texas Chain Saw Man, sat on my porch swing and when people would come up he'd jump off the swing and turn on the saw (prop). This older guy came up with his chilluns and my BF did his thing and the guy punched him OUT! The saw flew threw the air, the children screamed, and my BF's nose started bleeding and I was laughing so hard that I had to do the twisty leg thing so I wouldn't pee on myself.
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http://www.myspace.com/oxygen162
MK i know you ill (hope you feeling better) but there IS more intresting news - The JL/Casey/Tramp drama is actually getting juciy now:
An insider reveals exclusively to BreatheHeavy.com that Casey, while with Jamie Lynn, got Kelli Dawson PREGNANT in 2007.
Casey and Dawson both agreed that an abortion would be necessary to cover his tracks.
Souce - BH
~♥~"Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift. That is why they call it a present.” – Eleanor Roosevelt~♥~
That curly-headed colonic needs to learn how to shut his fucking pie hole. I hate the "kiss and tell" type!
Unless it is me of course.
Jennifer's taste in men is horrible. Starting with that asshole she married. ((sorry, Bradi))
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"Practically" is not an option when it comes to virginity.
Submitted by Candy Lynn on August 17, 2008 - 8:52am.
She is really, a Vulnerable and Pitiful lady.
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Well you prolly would be, too, if the hottest man on earth at the moment was stolen out from under you by a junkie hore. But I would use different adjectives to describe Jen.
She had the tiger by the tail back in her "Friends" days.
The karmic wheel always keeps moving and we all get a turn in hell on earth. (at least *i* think so)
Vote for Bernnan Mckinney for " Hot Babe Of The Year "
After publicly humiliated by Brad's dumping of her, I think that Jen is out to prove to the World that she's sooo Hot and a great Catch. Sooo Hot that she can pick a Douche and turn them into Goodie goody husbands! Ooops doesn't work. Jen needs a new Gameplan. She's turning 40 and becoming a joke already. She can no longer play leading roles, Women who at the end get the Men, because we know her real life, always dumped!!!
She needs to know herself and date a guy, for once, who really like her more than she likes them. No more Agenda jen.
You're too old for this. Give it up. Branggie already got 6 kids, theyre wonderful and happy. Its time to let it go and be contented.
Submitted by Salem13 on August 17, 2008 - 9:00am.
DiamondDawg:
No I'm not from Salem, I wish. I've always wanted to go there I'm a HUGE horror movie . Halloween is my favorite holiday. I got Salem from the movie Hocus Pocus:)
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Hey!!! Halloween is MY favorite holiday, too! we do a day of the dead parade where i live on All Soul's day. it's wicked cool.
I guess I have a thing for douchebags.
I live with one.
Submitted by joe shmoe on August 18, 2008 - 1:28am.
Sandbitch I *like* your taste in men.
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John Mayer might be nice covered in melted butter and smeared with Vegemite. And because the EKKA is on right now, a 'hot battered sav on a stick' up his arse as well.
DiamondDawg:
No I'm not from Salem, I wish. I've always wanted to go there I'm a HUGE horror movie . Halloween is my favorite holiday. I got Salem from the movie Hocus Pocus:)
Submitted by cici on August 17, 2008 - 11:28am.
.... Its obvious he reads everything about himself on the internet (Hi John!)and then frets over it,....
LMAO....(HI JOHN)
I am picturing him right now in a room, with the shades drawn except for a little peeky hole, and running back n forth from window to computer screaming for everyone to leave him alone...especially those damned DLISTERS!!!!
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http://www.myspace.com/oxygen162
Totally OT:
I'm looking at the new Good Housekeeping with Jennifer Aniston on the cover. You know those OP ads for WalMart MK posted about awhile ago? One of them is in the mag, and Rumer Willis's chin is totally shaved! ROFL! They Photochopped the hell out of her chin! It looks about a third of its real size!
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!
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TimTams Rule!
Submitted by Salem13 on August 17, 2008 - 10:37am.
Damn I'am dreading the day I trun 40. I'am fairly certain I don't want to get married or have children maybe I should just go ahead and plan my funeral because I'm going to be a completely worthless human being.
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Fret no more my dear. You can perform the Brangeloony ritual and never age. You'll be as fertile as the Duggar bitch and you will always have a man next to you. I'm not sure what you'll have to do but you'll need cat feces, orphan blood, 2 gallons of Angelina's vag juices and a ferret. You can go over to justjared for further instructions though.
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Let me dirty up your mind.
Must be a really slow day over at JJ. Can someone let him know to stay on his game a little better, his fleas are jumping over here.
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I'm your huckleberry...BITCH!!
Vote for Bernnan Mckinney for " Hot Babe Of The Year "
If she was that Smart and Sophisticated, she won't even dated him, knowing his background.
Problem is, John wants to " hit and run " jen, but Jen talks about marraige. She is really, a Vulnerable and Pitiful lady.
Ugh, I am so tired of this fucking dweeb.
My newest celebrity obsession: Eric Bana.
Submitted by parissucksliterally on August 17, 2008 - 8:41am.
I'm out of here....I am meeting my BFF from HS who I haven't seen in 20 years! She lives 20 minutes away, and I had no idea! Gotta love Facebook!
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HAVE FUN!! i did that last month. saw friends from Jr. High.
Submitted by Salem13 on August 17, 2008 - 8:37am.
Damn I'am dreading the day I trun 40. I'am fairly certain I don't want to get married or have children maybe I should just go ahead and plan my funeral because I'm going to be a completely worthless human being.
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This culture is very cruel to 40 year-olds. I've been 40 for a few years now. I just tell people I'm 55. Then they're like "OMG! You look so young for your age!"
aaahh fun times with stupid people.
where'd you come from Salem? I saw one of your posts yesterday - it was hilar.
I'm out of here....I am meeting my BFF from HS who I haven't seen in 20 years! She lives 20 minutes away, and I had no idea! Gotta love Facebook!
see you all later!
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"Spaz, Spaz, Spaz, Spaz, Spaz!!!"
- Meatballs (1979)
Submitted by Deb on August 17, 2008 - 8:37am.
How anyone can get all fired up about any of these people, (Mayer, Anniston, etc.), is beyond me.
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Like I said, the full moon. And what PSL said.
I always like it when the David Bowie avie pops in. :-)
Submitted by doodlewhore on August 17, 2008 - 11:47am.
Is it just me or did he just become hotter now that he dumped Rachel? I mean hot for a megadouche.
http://doodlewhore.com/
It's just you. ;) Love your blog, btw.
Damn I'am dreading the day I trun 40. I'am fairly certain I don't want to get married or have children maybe I should just go ahead and plan my funeral because I'm going to be a completely worthless human being.
Submitted by FatMartha on August 17, 2008 - 8:32am.
Good morni- ... oh my.... *hides from the animosity*
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LOL.
I guess last night's FULL moon is still in effect. We're all in fierce crabby mode. And no, not crabby like Paris and Nicole.