John Opens Up To The Paparazzi
As John Mayer left the gym in NYC yesterday, he talked to his best friends, the paparazzi, about his break-up with Jennifer Aniston. He said, "There's no lying, there's no cheating, there's no nothing. Jennifer Aniston is the smartest, most sophisticated person I think I have ever met."
He went on to say, "But she tied me to the bed with mink handcuffs, put on sexy lingerie and kept calling me her 'mormon husband.'" Okay, he didn't say that last part, but Jennifer Aniston is totally the next Bernann McKinney. She's going to try and clone Brad Pitt using the hair she cut from his head every night as he slept. Believe it.
When asked what went wrong with their fairytale romance, he answered, "Well, I figured out I was dating Jennifer Aniston." No, he said, "People are different, people have different chemistry. I ended a relationship to be alone, because I don't want to waste somebody's time if something's not right." Translation: "She poked holes in the condoms to try and get pregnant and I'm a man whore who can't control his 'Dominican penis.'"
Here's Mayer with his brother in NYC last night. I know he's related to John Mayer, because I can see the douche in his eyes. That shit is genetic.
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Submitted by shoe addict on August 17, 2008 - 8:15pm.
I'm not getting high and mighty, your the one who is making claims that she wants to get married because of brad and angelina, and I'm just saying that you really don't no a thing about this woman. It's because of the fact the I DON'T know her that I don't talk about her but yet you are acting like your her confidant and she reveals to you all her secrets, that's why I asked you "did she tell you this", but tell me where did I act like she was my bestfriend or say whether she was happy or not?
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NO I'M NOT HISPANIC I'M JUST A CRAZY CHICK HENCE CHICA LOCA ANYWAY TO THE IDIOTS IF YOU DON'T LIKE WHAT I SAY BOO HOO SCROLL DOWN TO THE NEXT COMMENT & TO THE PROFESSORS THAT LIKE TO TELL US WE CAN'T SPELL KISS OUR....
*african african children
even John's nutty ass figured out what Brad Pitt knew-- Jennifer A-manniston is a major bore.
Brad ran like the wind to another woman and six children. That says a lot about how Brad wanted a total change from boring whitebread and mayonaise.
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Blogs aren't for the sensitive at heart - FU
I'm NOT an economist, I'm an optimist. GW Bush
Ah the douche pokes out his douchey head to explain to the world why he is such as assbag. He's a man-whore and his music sucks! That is all.
Your face!
Who is this Robertoooo that you speak of?? I have no idea what your talking about. Sounds like a great guy with a huge penis.
Robertooo, I mean Umbertooo, I think your mom is calling you for dinner. Must be sad, a forty year old guy living in his parents' basement.
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"I think we'll need some more FBI guys."
Umbertoooo,
Got banned for being a racist pig as Robertooo so now you are back as this?
You have now defined what is is to be truly a pathetic little twat...
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"Practically" is not an option when it comes to virginity.
Submitted by Chicaloca on August 17, 2008 - 7:35pm.
Don't get all high and mighty on me now Chica, we all read the gossip and we can choose to believe what we want. As Mrs. K so elegantly stated, "What we think we know about Jennifer Aniston and her life (or any public figure) is a combination of what we read and see on the TV, internets and magazines, mixed in with our own life experiences, our EQ, perceptions, perspective, personality, disposition and temperament.
So do YOU know Jennifer or is your guess that she is NOT desparate as valid as my guess that she is....If you were really Jen's BFF you wouldn't waste your time on me when you guys could be having an intervention to interrupt this week's coke binge before she moves on over to the H.
What???? Now you're going to tell me that no one does coke or H in Hollywood, espeially not Jen cuz u would know....
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Spicy....Hot...Ginge
Submitted by Mr. President on August 17, 2008 - 8:07pm.
YOUR WELCOME ALL OF YOU BITCHES NEED IT BUT I'M DOWN FOR ADRIANA TOO
Submitted by DivasGone on August 17, 2008 - 8:08pm.
LOL YOUR LIFE MUST BE SOO SAD :-)
Did no one ever have a summer fling before?
No, no one wants your whore mentality.
Deb:
AMEN, sista.....
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what's the matter with your life? why you gotta mess with mine? Don't be sweatin what I do, cause I'm gonna be just fine...
-Salt n Pepa "None of Your Business"
@Shoe Addict,
Only if you believe everything the "rag mags" conjure up to sell more copies.
Why does everyone seem to think she must want to get married again? She did her time for that crime. 7 yrs worth. Is every single woman wearing a future engagement ring on their left sleeve? Am I crazy? This is 2008. Did no one ever have a summer fling before?
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"Practically" is not an option when it comes to virginity.
Submitted by EvilShoe on August 17, 2008 - 4:35pm.
laladida ventured out of this thread, ITS loose on dlisted!
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HOLY CRAP! We've got to stop her before she gets to Phoebe Price!
Deb: I'm a total loon. Anybody trashes my girls Hayley or Adriana and watch out. Hey, thanks for the pity there laladida.
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"I think we'll need some more FBI guys."
Hi Two Drink! Put on your asbestos panties! Read below...
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Dick happens! - MK
Hey Sluts!
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1172613656
laladida ventured out of this thread, ITS loose on dlisted!
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Dick happens! - MK
Submitted by shoe addict on August 17, 2008 - 7:57pm.
Did Jennifer A, tell you she wants to get married? or any of the things you read about her.
It's funny how people talk as if they know what is going on in her life or know the type of woman she is. She doesn't need anyone's consent or approval to live her life. Honestly how many of you here have dated men or women you wish you would have never dated. No one is perfect
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NO I'M NOT HISPANIC, I'M JUST A CRAZY CHICK HENCE CHICA LOCA ANYWAY, TO THE IDIOTS IF YOU DON'T LIKE WHAT I SAY BOO HOO SCROLL DOWN TO THE NEXT COMMENT & TO THE PROFESSORS THAT LIKE TO TELL US WE CAN'T SPELL KISS OUR....
Oh, Jennie
I’m a loonie, he’s a loonie, she’s a loonie, we’re all loonie
Wouldn’t you like to be a loonie, too?
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"Practically" is not an option when it comes to virginity.
Submitted by DivasGone on August 18, 2008 - 12:28pm.
lmao
Wait. John Mayer's the one who made out with Perez Hilton...
Sweet Jesus. Just when I thought his taste couldn't get any worse.
You have a point, Mike. Maybe it IS David Arquette.
It would explain what happened to the "period" and "comma" keys.. he sold them for blow.
Submitted by mike on August 17, 2008 - 4:11pm.
Maybe he'll pull a Lindsey Lohan and go gay for a bit. I'm pretty sure he's the oft-mentioned blind-item musician who goes both ways.
Interesting. What we in the cyber-wagering field call a "dark horse." I'm putting you down for Jakie G.
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Glaucoma sufferers, count yourselves lucky.
We all know the definition of insanity.
I do believe it is safe to say that there is something wrong with Jen. she keeps doing the same things over and over again and getting the same result. "because I don't want to waste somebody's time if something's not right." MK was joking but given john's statement she probably wreaked of desparation with marriage plans and baby timelines. After three months!!!!! That would run any man away!!! It doesn't take a crystal ball to know these guys aren't the marrying type: Vince Vaughn, John Mayer. That's why people r starting to question her sanity. If she really wants to settle down maybe she should try a wealty guy who IS NOT in Hollywood. The Loonies have definitely gotten to her. Instead of trying to keep up with the joneses, she's tryin to keep up with the Jolie-Pitt's with all of America watchin and it's a sad and pathetic thing to have to witness. I still Love Me Some Mayer, he saw Jen was determined and got out of her way.
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Spicy....Hot...Ginge
Submitted by Puggles on August 17, 2008 - 7:47pm.
ONYLY A BRANGELOONIES FREAK WOULD WRITE THE CRAP YOU FOOLS WRITE YOU DON'T KNOW THIS WOMAN FROM ANYWHERE BUT YET YOU SPEND ALL YOUR TIME TALKING NEGATIVE ABOUT HER WHAT A BUNCH OF PATHETHIC FOOLS I PITY YOU ALL
Submitted by Sheeps on August 17, 2008 - 4:11pm.
hahahahhahha
ladida, this is the last place you will find a bunch of Brangeloonies!
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what's the matter with your life? why you gotta mess with mine? Don't be sweatin what I do, cause I'm gonna be just fine...
-Salt n Pepa "None of Your Business"
...and the infestation from JJ continues...
Diva,
I only put in a huge bag of cheetos. You is makin' me look baaa-baaaad.
Laladildo means 32 min member... in pig latin.
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"Practically" is not an option when it comes to virginity.
Submitted by laladida on August 18, 2008 - 12:22pm.
lol!
OFFT: Is it school holidays somewhere?
Submitted by DivasGone on August 17, 2008 - 7:49pm.
FUNNY IT WAS A TYPO BUT ANYONE WITH A BRAIN WOULD HAVE GUESSED I MEANT YOUR
Submitted by DivasGone on August 17, 2008 - 7:19pm.
I think if we google "laladida", we will find out that it is Latin for Courtney Cox.
I was thinking maybe it's David Arquette. Perhaps he's grown tired of weed and is experimenting with speed?
I have heard that Mr. Mayer enjoys calling phone sex services, and likes to talk about having sex with Gay Men.
Submitted by Sheeps on August 17, 2008 - 4:11pm.
LMFAO!!! And to answer your previous question, I will wager a 40 oz bottle of Miller High Life. That is like liquid gold.
Is anyone else intrigued by this line in laladida's soliloquoy?
WHY ARE YOU SO CONCERN WITH JENNIFER'S LIFE WHY DON'T YOU GET OUR OWN
OUR own life? I think if we google "laladida", we will find out that it is Latin for Courtney Cox.
Submitted by laladida on August 18, 2008 - 12:10pm.
Le sign. looks like another troll has arrived. Where does it state that if you're not a mega fan of 'so and so' that you must be a loon of the other?
I have never said that I "hate" JA (if anything I am ambivalent about her) and nor have I ever said that I am a major fan of AJ and BP.
Why do the trolls always have to bring in the Aj/BP drama to JA/JM threads???
Submitted by Sheeps on August 17, 2008 - 7:41pm.
WELL GOOD FOR YOU
I think your Caps Lock button is broken.
That shit is hard on the eyes!
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Dick happens! - MK
Submitted by DivasGone on August 17, 2008 - 4:07pm.
My guess for the JM Dating Pool? Carrie Underwears.
Maybe he'll pull a Lindsey Lohan and go gay for a bit. I'm pretty sure he's the oft-mentioned blind-item musician who goes both ways.
Submitted by laladida on August 17, 2008 - 4:09pm.
I've seen shorter sentences in the L.A. prison system.
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Glaucoma sufferers, count yourselves lucky.
Submitted by Mrs.Kravitz on August 18, 2008 - 12:02pm.
As always Mrs K, well said :-).
Even my cockroaches are getting sick of looking at Mayer's face. MK, I know you're sick, but please update. I'll even take a PP post at this point. Thanks.
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"I think we'll need some more FBI guys."
Submitted by DivasGone on August 17, 2008 - 4:07pm.
My guess for the JM Dating Pool? Carrie Underwears.
Maybe..... She's at roughly the right celebrity level. What is your wager, however?
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Glaucoma sufferers, count yourselves lucky.
Submitted by VMDA78 on August 17, 2008 - 6:19pm.
A large percentage of women living in the world must be pathetic, just for the simple fact of dating immature men. Why do people state that they have lost respect for jennifer due to her personal relationships?
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Because she has too much going for her to be dating a loser like that. For me, there are tell-tale signs in the way he operates in the public eye that say to me: Douchenheimer.
O yeah- and all those sexed up pictures. I didn't like those either - they looked desperate.
♥ ThreadKilla! / Lean Like a Chola / She's a Lady.
I can only find pictures of the girl twin.
ooooh! Divas, I like that one!
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what's the matter with your life? why you gotta mess with mine? Don't be sweatin what I do, cause I'm gonna be just fine...
-Salt n Pepa "None of Your Business"
Hi joe! Hi MrsK!
That goes true for all the celebs we bag on.....
I just don't understand why people hate JA so much.....I don't love her, but she hasn't done anything to make me hate her. She tries to keep to herself.....
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what's the matter with your life? why you gotta mess with mine? Don't be sweatin what I do, cause I'm gonna be just fine...
-Salt n Pepa "None of Your Business"
My guess for the JM Dating Pool?
Carrie Underwears. I think that would be such a stab back at that stupid little twit, Jessica Simpson.
Submitted by Mrs.Kravitz on August 17, 2008 - 7:02pm.
Like my dead mama used to say..."You don't know what goes on behind closed doors."
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Truer words were never spoken.
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ruFItmix58A&feature=related
Some think she is attractive and has a great life.
Others think she is desperate and ugly.
What we think we know about Jennifer Aniston and her life (or any public figure) is a combination of what we read and see on the TV, internets and magazines, mixed in with our own life experiences, our EQ, perceptions, perspective, personality, disposition and temperament.
Like my dead mama used to say..."You don't know what goes on behind closed doors."
-☮'---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮-
"Scwew yew, Ah do OWN fing." *Raspberry*
Submitted by ocd can be good on August 17, 2008 - 9:11pm.
That's nothing. I am staring at a just hacked up hair ball that looks like road kill that must be cleaned.
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Ugh - at least you didn't step in it. I did that once and jumped 5 feet straight up, thinking I'd stepped on a dead dismembered rodent!
What's Jennifer Aniston doing with a loser like that in the first place? John Mayer???? WTF. She could do so much better.
http://thespiderwebsystem.com/c0mpguy7
http://www.achievemoreincome4life.com
adleast jennifer doesn't look like rumor willis, rumor is someone i feel sympathy for.
Submitted by parissucksliterally on August 18, 2008 - 11:19am.
I've said it before, and I'll say it again...I'd trade places with Aniston in a SECOND.....and I think a lot of women would!
I for one wouldn't. Looking at that face every day would make me depressed/unhappy...sorry but it just would. No amount of cash and having nice legs can get me past her facial features.
OT: JM you are such an asshole. How nasty is that to always use your 'hook ups'/break ups to garner publicity. Unfortunately its also given JA a bit of a bad rep too as far as I'm concerned. I just think of them as being slightly desperate PR/attention whores now. I hope I never see any pics of them ever again. But unfortunately I know that just won't happen. Dreams are free I guess. lol
OFFT again: I think JM should date Kate Hudson or Pam Anderson next (if he hasn't already?). They both seem to like bed hopping and both don't seem to like being single for too long.