John Opens Up To The Paparazzi
As John Mayer left the gym in NYC yesterday, he talked to his best friends, the paparazzi, about his break-up with Jennifer Aniston. He said, "There's no lying, there's no cheating, there's no nothing. Jennifer Aniston is the smartest, most sophisticated person I think I have ever met."
He went on to say, "But she tied me to the bed with mink handcuffs, put on sexy lingerie and kept calling me her 'mormon husband.'" Okay, he didn't say that last part, but Jennifer Aniston is totally the next Bernann McKinney. She's going to try and clone Brad Pitt using the hair she cut from his head every night as he slept. Believe it.
When asked what went wrong with their fairytale romance, he answered, "Well, I figured out I was dating Jennifer Aniston." No, he said, "People are different, people have different chemistry. I ended a relationship to be alone, because I don't want to waste somebody's time if something's not right." Translation: "She poked holes in the condoms to try and get pregnant and I'm a man whore who can't control his 'Dominican penis.'"
Here's Mayer with his brother in NYC last night. I know he's related to John Mayer, because I can see the douche in his eyes. That shit is genetic.
ShareThis
James Haven just received a call from Dr. Dre! DMX was arrested outside a Wal-Mart! What in the name of Shiloh is going on with celebs and Wal-Marts?
James Haven is going to start hanging out there! It seems to be a happenin' kind of place!
P.S. The Olympics are a snoozer for James Haven! Even the girls Volley Ball does nothing for James Haven! Those girls have more muscles then he does!
******************************************************************
See James Haven in an Oscar winning performance!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2w9cKFiCrSU
```````````````````````````````````````````````
I know! Im not usually up this late but I got suckered into watching the olympics again.
------------------------------------------------
Pearls of Wisdom from JJ - "If ass-holes could fly, you guys would be an airport"
Submitted by tonicbitch on August 17, 2008 - 11:04pm.
Doing good tonic, thanks! It's great to see all of James Haven's favorites tonight, it's been such a long time!
******************************************************************
See James Haven in an Oscar winning performance!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2w9cKFiCrSU
```````````````````````````````````````````````
Sheeps!
******************************************************************
See James Haven in an Oscar winning performance!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2w9cKFiCrSU
```````````````````````````````````````````````
Submitted by James Haven on August 17, 2008 - 10:56pm
Oh please, I find it very hard to belive that Tom Cruise's annual Scientology barbeques, Have gotten you so lovey. Lets see your sister started climbing into you bed again haven't she? That gotta be why. The last time she couldn't wait untill you got home she toungued you down on national t.v for everyone to see ;-)
***********************************
NO I'M NOT HISPANIC I'M JUST A CRAZY CHICK HENCE CHICA LOCA ANYWAY TO THE IDIOTS IF YOU DON'T LIKE WHAT I SAY BOO HOO SCROLL DOWN TO THE NEXT COMMENT & TO THE PROFESSORS THAT LIKE TO TELL US WE CAN'T SPELL KISS OUR....
Hello James love! *smooches* and how are you this fine evening?
Deb I put icyhot on my ass, it tames the fire.
------------------------------------------------
Pearls of Wisdom from JJ - "If ass-holes could fly, you guys would be an airport"
Submitted by Team Valtrex on August 17, 2008 - 6:57pm.
MK better get healthy soon, I haven't had an update on which jeans Katie Holmes is wearing in days.
hahahaha. I've been stressing over that 44-lb. pussy from Newark.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Glaucoma sufferers, count yourselves lucky.
DEb, I hope you didn't "get gas" from the food, but you filled up your tank.....heehee
**************************************************
what's the matter with your life? why you gotta mess with mine? don't be sweatin' what I do, cause I'm gonna be just fine...
-Salt n Pepa "None of Your Business"
I know! Right???
I am fast stopped, ate , got gas...
Hummmmm Prep H, I could use some under the eyes for the suitcases I am packing...
Got bags worthy of J Mayer for his trip to the curb.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Practically" is not an option when it comes to virginity.
Submitted by Chicaloca on August 17, 2008 - 10:47pm.
James Haven is a lover, not a fighter. Although, one cannot love, when one does not have a date for the weekend, holidays, and premieres. Not too mention, weddings, bar mitzvah's, Tom Cruise's annual Scientology barbeques, and the Jonas' Brothers concert.
******************************************************************
See James Haven in an Oscar winning performance!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2w9cKFiCrSU
```````````````````````````````````````````````
Submitted by DebFrmHell on August 17, 2008 - 10:23pm.
___________________________________
Try some Preparation H Cooling Gel ;-)
*************************************
"Ed Westwick is not gay - he's British!"
Hey Deb! That was fast!
**************************************************
what's the matter with your life? why you gotta mess with mine? don't be sweatin' what I do, cause I'm gonna be just fine...
-Salt n Pepa "None of Your Business"
HI KIDDIES! Whorettes and Slutty Menginas!
Is it on topic to say I feel the heat of a thousand suns burning in my ass everytime I look at John Mayer?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Practically" is not an option when it comes to virginity.
Submitted by tonicbitch on August 17, 2008 - 10:46pm.
Hello tonic!
******************************************************************
See James Haven in an Oscar winning performance!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2w9cKFiCrSU
```````````````````````````````````````````````
Submitted by James Haven on August 17, 2008 - 10:40pm
Lol bitch don't start with me,
***********************************
NO I'M NOT HISPANIC I'M JUST A CRAZY CHICK HENCE CHICA LOCA ANYWAY TO THE IDIOTS IF YOU DON'T LIKE WHAT I SAY BOO HOO SCROLL DOWN TO THE NEXT COMMENT & TO THE PROFESSORS THAT LIKE TO TELL US WE CAN'T SPELL KISS OUR....
Submitted by shoe addict on August 17, 2008 - 10:31pm.
Who is we? Speak for yourself bitch
***********************************
NO I'M NOT HISPANIC I'M JUST A CRAZY CHICK HENCE CHICA LOCA ANYWAY TO THE IDIOTS IF YOU DON'T LIKE WHAT I SAY BOO HOO SCROLL DOWN TO THE NEXT COMMENT & TO THE PROFESSORS THAT LIKE TO TELL US WE CAN'T SPELL KISS OUR....
Hey now! Don't mess with James Haven or we'll be forced to cut a bitch.
------------------------------------------------
Pearls of Wisdom from JJ - "If ass-holes could fly, you guys would be an airport"
Jennifer isn't as pathetic and "lame" as people think she is, despite all the negative things she is still happy and enjoying life.
Submitted by shoe addict on August 17, 2008 - 10:31pm.
Submitted by Chicaloca on August 17, 2008 - 9:48pm.
-------------------------------------------------
Bitches please! Stop the fighting! James Haven has to deal with enough fighting living with Brad and Angie and all these crazy kids!
A catfight does James Haven no good if he can't see you bitches ripping off each others clothes, so STOP it!
Now shake claws already, and let's have some fun!
******************************************************************
See James Haven in an Oscar winning performance!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2w9cKFiCrSU
```````````````````````````````````````````````
Submitted by Team Valtrex on August 17, 2008 - 10:27pm.
Sorry for the double shout out!
******************************************************************
See James Haven in an Oscar winning performance!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2w9cKFiCrSU
```````````````````````````````````````````````
Submitted by Gonnaburn... on August 17, 2008 - 9:58pm.
oy
===========================================
ROTFLMAO!!!!!!
********************************************
Spicy....Hot...Ginge
Submitted by Team Valtrex on August 17, 2008 - 10:27pm.
TV!!
******************************************************************
See James Haven in an Oscar winning performance!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2w9cKFiCrSU
```````````````````````````````````````````````
Who cares??? Normal people date for a couple of months and then break up all the time.
Submitted by DiamondDawg on August 17, 2008 - 10:20pm.
Hi, JH. Please tell us about the time that you couldn't go to the prom cuz you didn't have a car!
btw, did Angie get to go to the prom? If so, with whom? Anyone have Angie's prom photo? I'm sure one you Brangeloonies here has it!
------------------------------------------------
Hello DD!
James Haven doesn't recall telling that story so he finds it strange that you would know it! Uncle Dusty, is that you?!
Anyhoo, it is true James Haven didn't have wheels for his prom. But it wasn't that bad since Angie was his date and she knew from the start that we would be walking. When we arrived James Haven's shoes had been scuffed and Angie's dress got torn because we took a short cut through the woods that James Haven told her we shouldn't do but whatever....
As for Angie, well...James Haven was her date of course! And by then James Haven had wheels, a lime green volkswagen. True, it didn't go in reverse and if you leaned back on the passenger seat it fell backwards and there was that nasty smell we couldn't get rid of, but other then that, it was perfect.
The night started off abit strange because the other kids laughed that Angie brought her "bug eyed" brother, but by the end of the night, we were all friends and Angie and James Haven were crowned King and Queen respectively!
******************************************************************
See James Haven in an Oscar winning performance!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2w9cKFiCrSU
```````````````````````````````````````````````
what r u twelve??????
Ignore, Ignore, Ignore
********************************************
Spicy....Hot...Ginge
Submitted by shoe addict on August 17, 2008 - 10:07pm.
Ok, maybe you dumb ass must not know what a confrontation is. I did not attack you. I asked you a fucking question thats it. A question that was not threathing in anyway but you decided to responded with a bunch of bullshit, where in there did I say you are wrong for saying that or you can't have your opinion. Are you kidding me?
the reason I said "It's because of the fact the I DON'T know her that I don't talk about her but yet you are acting like your her confidant and she reveals to you all her secrets"
was because you wrote
"So do YOU know Jennifer or is your guess that she is NOT desparate as valid as my guess that she is....If you were really Jen's BFF you wouldn't waste your time on me when you guys could be having an intervention to interrupt this week's coke binge before she moves on over to the H."
What a joke if you deranged if you consider yourself enlighted. If you can not show me where I attacked you or where I said you can't have your opinion, then stop wasting my time
***********************************
NO I'M NOT HISPANIC I'M JUST A CRAZY CHICK HENCE CHICA LOCA ANYWAY TO THE IDIOTS IF YOU DON'T LIKE WHAT I SAY BOO HOO SCROLL DOWN TO THE NEXT COMMENT & TO THE PROFESSORS THAT LIKE TO TELL US WE CAN'T SPELL KISS OUR....
oy
Four Hundredth!!!!!
**********************
"I think we'll need some more FBI guys."
MK better get healthy soon, I haven't had an update on which jeans Katie Holmes is wearing in days.
***********************************************
Peter: Whoa, Lois, look at you, you look like Britney Spears. Except you're not a fat guy.
Submitted by DiamondDawg on August 17, 2008 - 8:54pm
I took the bait; she's looking more and more masculine to me everytime I see her.
**********************************************
"Someday we'll all be gone but lullabies go on and on...they never die, that's how you and I will be..." -Billy Joel
Submitted by James Haven on August 17, 2008 - 9:51pm.
And now they are untangled but beat looking for sure... No doubt his anger over his appearance could only be directed at you. :( You are such a good brother and uncle to suffer those indignities!
Submitted by VMDA78 on August 17, 2008 - 6:51pm.
There is a lead story about jennifer on yahoo.com, she is smiling and looks happy.
-----------------
She was smiling on her wedding day, too. That's neither here nor there, just sayin'
There is a lead story about jennifer on yahoo.com, the picture shows jennifer smiling and she seems very happy.
Ok Smurfs and Smurfettes, this has gotten so ridickerus that I'm actually looking forward to going to Kinko's to make some photocopies and to buy some pet food. ~^.^~
Submitted by boomsy on August 17, 2008 - 6:45pm.
Take it back; you'll burn in the fires of hell for sure for that one.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Yeah, well the flames of hell have been licking at my heels for quite some time now. I'm pretty sure it's a done deal.
Who's got the marshmallows?
-☮'---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮-
Nervenzusammenbruch
Harsh- I agree and not at all being serious. I just see some of her posts (ex- the mom who had kid drive her to bar) and think, DEAR GOD! WTF?
Regardign the other one, perhaps she is emulating a performance from Girl, Interrupted.
Submitted by Gonnaburn... on August 17, 2008 - 10:17pm.
That's easier said then done, GB! Everyone knows Mad rules around here! This kid should work for the CIA. Brad took Mad go carting for his birthday, the kid rigged Brad's wheels and Brad crashed into a fence! It took the paramedics hours to untangle Brad's plugs from the fence.
******************************************************************
See James Haven in an Oscar winning performance!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2w9cKFiCrSU
```````````````````````````````````````````````
Submitted by James Haven on August 17, 2008 - 6:46pm.
Submitted by Mrs.Kravitz on August 17, 2008 - 10:14pm.
Daddy Voight used to sing that to James Haven and Angie when he used to take us row boating. Brings back some good memories and some bad considering he made us row while he drank Sangria and ate cheese
---------------------
Hi, JH. Please tell us about the time that you couldn't go to the prom cuz you didn't have a car!
btw, did Angie get to go to the prom? If so, with whom? Anyone have Angie's prom photo? I'm sure one you Brangeloonies here has it!
Submitted by James Haven on August 17, 2008 - 9:43pm.
________________________________
*Plants a big, wet one on James' cheeks...the ones on his face*
Off topic: I just started doing Carmen Electra's Strip aerobics today and damn, it wiped me out! I think I finally found an exercise regime I'm going to stick with!
*************************************
"Ed Westwick is not gay - he's British!"
Forget the tabloids and the internet. I get the truth about Jen from the ever so elegant James Haven
Kiss kiss James Haven
Good to see you.
You have any good stories about John and the "watersports"???
Don't hold anything back, let's hear it..
********************************************
Spicy....Hot...Ginge
Submitted by James Haven on August 17, 2008 - 9:43pm.
James, excuse me, Mr. Haven, please keep him out of your bedroom. Remember the havoc that ensued after his beauty shop debauchle with Pax and your skin care a.m. and p.m. facial regime?
Submitted by Mrs.Kravitz on August 17, 2008 - 10:14pm.
Daddy Voight used to sing that to James Haven and Angie when he used to take us row boating. Brings back some good memories and some bad considering he made us row while he drank Sangria and ate cheese.
******************************************************************
See James Haven in an Oscar winning performance!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2w9cKFiCrSU
```````````````````````````````````````````````
spelling error - i meant "dissasociative"
Submitted by Mrs.Kravitz on August 17, 2008 - 8:44pm
Take it back; you'll burn in the fires of hell for sure for that one.
**********************************************
"Someday we'll all be gone but lullabies go on and on...they never die, that's how you and I will be..." -Billy Joel
I feel a song coming on. Everybody join in!
It's a world of laughter
A world of tears
It's a world of hopes
And a world of fears
There's so much that we share
That it's time we're aware
It's a small world after all
There is just one moon
And one golden sun
And a smile means
Friendship to ev'ryone
Though the mountains divide
And the oceans are wide
It's a small world after all
It's a small world after all
It's a small world after all
It's a small world after all
It's a small, small world
-☮'---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮-
Nervenzusammenbruch
Submitted by Gonnaburn... on August 17, 2008 - 6:42pm.
Submitted by DiamondDawg on August 17, 2008 - 9:40pm
Well, she should find trolly starfish and have a cutting party.
-------------------------
oh! harsh! LOL
(i don't think its LA/HA. She knows we're anti-brangeloonie. Unless LA/HA also has a disociative personality disorder and forgot who we are?)
Submitted by QueenCharisma on August 17, 2008 - 10:07pm.
SmOOches
******************************************************************
See James Haven in an Oscar winning performance!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2w9cKFiCrSU
```````````````````````````````````````````````
Submitted by Gonnaburn... on August 17, 2008 - 10:06pm.
Does anyone else smell LA/HA?
-------------------------------------------------
The only thing James Haven smells is the rotten chicken wings that crazy kid Mad left behind James Haven's bed, six months ago! Nasty!
******************************************************************
See James Haven in an Oscar winning performance!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2w9cKFiCrSU
```````````````````````````````````````````````
Submitted by Gonnaburn... on August 17, 2008 - 6:36pm.
Does anyone else smell LA/HA?
-----------------------------
Maybe...who went off her meds and needs to be put on a 72 hour hold - danger to self or others (in this case, it's proably both).
Also needs an E-citation for over use of all caps and lack of punctuation. I think a ban is in order. MK? are you better yet?
Submitted by DiamondDawg on August 17, 2008 - 9:40pm
Well, she should find trolly starfish and have a cutting party.