Saturday, August 16th 2008

Bigfoot Fakery!

Everyone has been talking about this supposed Bigfoot that was found by two twats in Georgia. Even CNN covered this shit. Although, that's not saying much. The two lie-tellers, a cop on medical leave and a former corrections officer, held a press conference in Palo Alto, CA yesterday to talk about their discovery.

Basically, we didn't learn shit! Well, we learned the address of their website (AGAIN) and they brought an e-mail from some entomologist bitch who tested three DNA samples. One sample was human, one was a possum and the other was Robin Williams. No, the other couldn't be tested due to "technical problems." Yeah, probably because it's fucking polyester.

The dudes did not show the body, because they are waiting for scientists to exam it. Um....I'm not a scientist and I can already tell you that thing is a Danny DeVito costume with Vienna sausages on top of it. Or maybe Parasite Hilton wet queefed on it?

They also announced they are giving Bigfoot-hunting tours in Georgia for $499. What's to hunt? I mean, isn't he already dead?

Below is a clip from the press conference. You can also visit Cryptomundo for many more details.


Even though these dudes are all kinds of fake, I'd still hit it on a gorrilla costume covered in fish jizz.

Posted by: Michael K


That's kinda how I looked at about 7 a.m. Saturday.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Glaucoma sufferers, count yourselves lucky.

Jimmy Bocca's picture

How human of them to find a species of life that has long been a huge speculation and then slaughter it. But not only that but then turn around and offer hunting trips for others of it's species! Gees.

jussayin's picture

you gotta love the *quotation fingers* press conference!

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
hush yo' mouf!

Submitted by Gonnaburn... on August 16, 2008 - 2:08pm.
Now did they say that they shot it or found it?

ummm,,,that looks like loose intestines in the middle.
Gutted it, is more like it. Or gutted something, and threw the entrails on top of whatever they alledgedly found.

jussayin's picture

wow, I can only hope they have a low sperm count to go with those low IQs

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
think of the chilfren!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Inventions_in_the_Muslim_world

Snarkley's picture

Whether you believe or not, everyone knows that Bigfoot lives in the Pacific Northwest. Northern California, Oregon, Washington. It doesn't take much reading or research to realize this, unless you're a stupid drunken redneck looking for attention.

PurpleNeon's picture

derrrrrrrrrr

Thank goodness he said fakery and not fuckery. For a minute there I thought MK's illness led him to Bigfoot's bed. Get well MK! Wait for Bigdick! He'll treat you WAAAAAYYYY better! Mwah!

Sugartits's picture

I thought they didn't want to show anyone where they found it because they wanted to protect the rest of them, and yet they are offering hunting tours for $499? __________________________________________________

"You gonna give me my car, or do I gotta go to your house and shove your dog's head down the toilet?" Repo Man

DebFrmHell's picture

Not a word about the Montauk Monster, MK?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Practically" is not an option when it comes to virginity.

Richiegay's picture

Well, that one NASA guy did admit that Rozwell really did happen. I had heard simlilar tales from a waitress I one worked with in a Marriott in Dallas, who lived in that area as a child, she said Max Brazzel got a new pick up truck and never ever talked again about what happened that night.

Religion is the stick they beat people with...lesliesmith2007

angel_i's picture

Chupacabra sighting!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E_OqZyDppUE&feature=related

♥ ThreadKilla! / Lean Like a Chola / She's a Lady.
I can only find pictures of the girl twin.

roxie's picture

Maybe they can test my stuffed animals to see if they're real as well. Maybe it's Harry from Harry and the Hendersons.

Oxygen's picture

HAHAHHAHAHAHHAHA....wooohoooo....stuff likes this takes me back to the good ole days....

http://www.imdb.com/video/screenplay/vi3070165273/

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
http://www.myspace.com/oxygen162

That thing looks like my ex brother in law before he discovered laser hair removal!!

Mrs.Kravitz's picture

totally fake!
Everyone knows that Big Foot is in Washington state.
Sheesh!

-☮'---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮-
"Scwew yew, Ah do OWN fing." *Raspberry*

Sayonara's picture

That is not Bigfoot! Or is it?!

Darth Vader wore a raspberry beret

Fucking_Classy's picture

Submitted by JeffreyDahmer on August 17, 2008 - 3:22am.
Will we finally find out what Bigfoot's dick smells like?

__________________________________
LMAO!

Well, just like Chupacabra, this story is also fake. Faker than Tomkat's marriage.

Hillbillies with nothing better to do, that's all.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
" That which does not kill me only postpones the inevitable."

Clarisse's picture

Otter Pop!
No way! I have Nessie in my pool and Ceiling Cat in my attic!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Blah...blah...blah...jack me off and pour me some lemonade. -Michael K

Oxygen's picture

I will believe it when we land on the moon..
....'the next time'.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
http://www.myspace.com/oxygen162

Mr. President's picture

It still has smaller feet than Paris Hilton.

**********************
"I think we'll need some more FBI guys."

JeffreyDahmer's picture

Will we finally find out what Bigfoot's dick smells like?

MargeAggedon's picture

Submitted by dreamhypnotique on August 16, 2008 - 3:47pm.
--------------

I think bigfoot is supposed to be a species. Some theories say it's a "missing link" type of animal between human and ape. Some of the more colorful tales suggest it's from outer space or a gov't experiment.
It's all pretty fucking hilarious no matter how you shovel it. LOL!

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

Surfing the apocalypse.

dreamhypnotique's picture

I don't really understand -- is "bigfoot" supposed to be a species, or just one individual?

/*\/*\/*\/*\/*\/*\/*\/*\/*\/*\
Boats n' Hoes, gotta have me my boats n' hoes.
www.myspace.com/dreamhypnotique

Otter Pop's picture

That's nothing. I have the chupacabra living in my basement.

joe shmoe's picture

Submitted by Gonnaburn... on August 16, 2008 - 2:08pm.
**********
They claim they found the corpse with wounds on it. Uh huh.

***********
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GVTN5o9Kgu8&feature=related

TOPANGA's picture

You know who's dumber than these two hillbillys? The people who actually took the time to cover this BS!

*****"Don't have sex, because you will get pregnant and die. Don't have sex in the missionary position, don't have sex standing up, just don't do it, OK, promise? OK, now everybody take some rubbers."*****

Gonnaburn...'s picture

Now did they say that they shot it or found it?

Submitted by LunaChick on August 16, 2008 - 1:45pm.

Mmmm, Crazy Alien Smoothie, it's what's for breakfast.

LunaC [haha LUNACY], we should bottle that shit and market it and get the homeless people who talk to themselves to do the commercials!

My ogre has PONTOONS for feet. If anyone should believe in big-foot it should be me because I frickin' married one.

Eh. Not buying the carpet and monkey mask routine.

LunaChick's picture

.

Mmmm, Crazy Alien Smoothie, it's what's for breakfast.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"...We don't exist for the beautiful people of the world...We're there for the oddball, the rebel, the outcast, the geek!"

Submitted by LunaChick on August 16, 2008 - 1:33pm.

I took a picture, before freezing the head. Hmmm, do you think there is a resemblance to Tommy boy?

Yes, he does! He's like meaty goodness mixed with spirulina and voila. I think we got us a tasty low-carb alien drink. Don't forget a pinch of crazy, a tidge of nutmeg and a wee sprinkle of gob dobbedy goodness aka barley water.

Dea's picture

let´s just hope he´s still alive, then... the silence is killing me.

**whatever**

Submitted by angel_i on August 16, 2008 - 1:30pm.

MK's sick - he pre-apologized yesterday:)

Angel, for real. The fact he posted ANYTHING today is a testament to his wherewithal.

MK, is in dire need of some love and care. Cut him some frickin' slack. I don't know how he does it. When I'm sick I'm fucking down for the count.

LunaChick's picture

.

I took a picture, before freezing the head. Hmmm, do you think there is a resemblance to Tommy boy?

http://img84.imageshack.us/my.php?image=tomalienvs8.jpg

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"...We don't exist for the beautiful people of the world...We're there for the oddball, the rebel, the outcast, the geek!"

angel_i's picture

Submitted by Dea on August 16, 2008 - 1:20pm.

slow news day, huh...
*****************************

MK's sick - he pre-apologized yesterday:)

♥ ThreadKilla! / Lean Like a Chola / She's a Lady.
I can only find pictures of the girl twin.

dreamhypnotique's picture

All over the world, fat, 40 year old nerds living in their mothers' basements are crying into their Hi-C and microwave cheese fries.

/*\/*\/*\/*\/*\/*\/*\/*\/*\/*\
Boats n' Hoes, gotta have me my boats n' hoes.
www.myspace.com/dreamhypnotique

Dea's picture

slow news day, huh...

**whatever**

Submitted by LunaChick on August 16, 2008 - 1:11pm.

That's Bigfoot and I have an Alien Head in my freezer - it's right behind the Pork Chops and Turkey Hill Skinny Minty.

lmao! Luna, does your Alien head resemble Tommy Girl by any chance? ;)) Hey, serve it with some crusty bread, olive oil and a squirt of lemon and I'm THERE!

FritoDorito's picture

This story smells like bullshit.
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
"I want a butt ugly slut with a bad drankin' problem and jealous old man in jail "- Roger Alan Wade

LunaChick's picture

That's Bigfoot and I have an Alien Head in my freezer - it's right behind the Pork Chops and Turkey Hill Skinny Minty.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"...We don't exist for the beautiful people of the world...We're there for the oddball, the rebel, the outcast, the geek!"

angel_i's picture

Um. I can traipse around in the woods looking for things that don't exist for free, thank you very much. AND I do it quite frequently. So thanks again.

PS that looks like shrimps.

♥ ThreadKilla! / Lean Like a Chola / She's a Lady.
I can only find pictures of the girl twin.

Listen herrr's picture

I WANT WHAT THEY'RE SMOKING .. it's been a hellava week, i'm stressed to high heavens, maybe if they let me smoke just three puffs, i'll be good ... i'm surprised no one has giggled yet - these are some good boneheads - to think of this up and make sure not to laugh

Sassy's picture

I wonder how big it's cock is?

Whatever the fuck those Jeffrey Dahmer freaks have in their cooler it looks like it stinks to hell. DORKS.

boomsy's picture

I actually wasted precious moments of my life yesterday watching that stupid press conference. I would hope that those people actually have SOMETHING credible or else there's going to be a lot of red faces.

**********************************************
"Someday we'll all be gone but lullabies go on and on...they never die, that's how you and I will be..." -Billy Joel

Itz-Britney_Bitch's picture

bwahhahahhahaha
bwhaha hahaha..do ppl really believe these 2 jerk-offs? $499 to hunt for sumthing thats supposedly in their freezer already anyways?

Hysteria's picture

Oh yeah, I'm so sure Big Twatfoot would have a perfect set of porcelain veneers. Someone threw in an old fur coat and a bag of chicken entrails. Steeyou-pid.

parissucksliterally's picture

Ah, I knew this was bullshit.

************************************************
Is it worth it, let me work it; I'll put my thing down flip it and reverse it
-Missy Elliott

BRADIFUL BITCH's picture

DIPSHITS!

Hunting parties?

DIPSHITS!

I hate backwater asswipes like these dudes.

/\
Madolyn: What do you expect coming in here?
Billy Costigan: I have to come here.
Madolyn: I know you have to come here, but now that you're here, what do you want?
Billy Costigan: You want the truth? Valium.

r5bales's picture

Submitted by Domestic Goddess on August 16, 2008 - 7:36am.
Alien Window Peeker = Tom Cruise