This Is Not Jennifer Aniston's New Piece
After Jennifer Aniston split up with John Mayer, it was rumored that she quickly picked up a new guy named Matt Felker. He's a model-type who used to date Selma Blair. Matt's spokesbitch told Access Hollywood that the rumor is "totally not true." Like....totally! His rep said that Matt met Jenny over a week ago, but nothing happened. She just threw herself at him and begged him to give her a baby. "Give me a baaaaaaby," she screamed.
Seriously, I was hoping Jenny was getting some good rebound dick. Oh well! There's always eharmony.com....and match.com....and jdate.com....and craigslist.org....and ineedamanrightnoworelseimgoingtoloseit.com.
And it's funny that bitches think Matt looks like Brad Pitt. I mean, he sort of looks like the female-to-male tranny version of Brad Pitt.
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Leatherette:
This is all natural!
I don't put nothing in my hair but juices and berries!
Although maybe I should change the pic, since I have a mohawk now?
'Heaux Confessionals'
www.myspace.com/triston
LOVE CARROTTOP
Sigh. The hypocrisy in this place never ceases to amaze me.
Would you care to state your point or is this your way of keeping the peace?
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I'm your huckleberry...BITCH!!
Submitted by Pimpcessa on August 15, 2008 - 1:25pm.
Aubrey04
I think it's pretty funny that he looks exactly the same now as he did then - what was it 3 years ago when that came out? Or even longer?
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2004 -- so 4 years.. yeah, he looks the same. Sort of girlie, but sort of cute. I don't know.
Here is his imdb.com page - he has 18 pictures on there..
http://www.imdb.com/name/nm1812676/
Submitted by Pimpcessa on August 15, 2008 - 3:18pm.
But please don't try to tell anyone what to say to anyone else here.
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Umm.. isn't that exactly what you're doing right now?
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Yes, ees gud. Now, if you pees shut mouf, we say nice prayer to God.
Submitted by Aubrey04 on August 15, 2008 - 12:26pm.
EXACTLY.
I never thought she wanted kids. And as someone who is childless by choice (but loves kids) I say
when I am old I shall wear purple.
-☮'---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮-
I never fucked anybody over in my life didn't have it coming to them. You got that? All I have in this world is my balls and my word and I don't break them for no one.
It looks like hes wearing gold eyeshadow!!!
Submitted by TheBreakdown on August 15, 2008 - 3:23pm.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
SEE?! A hot man just typing away from kraut land, right here! tis a shame my pussy holds no sway over this hot gay, tho :(
& fucking LOVE the hair, BreakDown -- gel or spray?!
Not every woman wants to have kids. I have a feeling that Jenny was being less than genuine when she said that she wanted them. If she really wanted one - she would have one by now. I just don't think she's really interested in that.
Not that there is anything wrong with it. Because kids are loud, messy, smelly and annoying.
I don't believe JA is as desperate as everyone thinks she is. She's got more money than God...she could buy some sperm or adopt a third world country orphan if she wants a kid that badly. She's finding out, like many 40ish single women do, that most of the "available" men in that age range are having a mid-life crisis (which is the cause some of the douchiest behavior known to humankind.) The whole Brad leaving Jen for Angelina thing is a textbook example of midlife crisis. If JA smart enough to stay away from that crap, more power to her
Oy...that guy is ooooogly.
He looks like the kind of guy who thinks his toe jam is an aphrodisiac.
-☮'---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮-
I never fucked anybody over in my life didn't have it coming to them. You got that? All I have in this world is my balls and my word and I don't break them for no one.
Aubrey04
I think it's pretty funny that he looks exactly the same now as he did then - what was it 3 years ago when that came out? Or even longer?
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I'm your huckleberry...BITCH!!
I don't post very often (especially Jen/Brad/Angelina threads) but I have to agree with some posters here. She has a life I and many people wish they could have, not interested in the fame, but money and freedom to do whatever she wants. Don't see the need to constantly pity her or antagonize her either. I am not her fan, hated Friends with passion but I think the media has gone too far. Trust me I'm fed up with Angelina and Brad too.
Also having lived in Los Angeles for 4 years now and I have to say dating here is a complete, utter nightmare. Guys think because they buy you dinner once you have to sleep with them right after, the majority of guys here are wannabe musicians, actors, industry types or just plane losers. Sorry for the rant guys, I had some closed up anger today.
And here I was, about to congratulate Maniston on getting an almost hot piece.
He's serioously channeling K-Fed in this pic, which as we all know is never a good thing.
Jen-Chin, just invest in an industrial strength dildo and be done with it!
'Heaux Confessionals'
www.myspace.com/triston
Sigh. The hypocrisy in this place never ceases to amaze me.
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Yes, ees gud. Now, if you pees shut mouf, we say nice prayer to God.
Hmmm...the pic from the last post i thought he was hot...now...meh...not so much...
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Blah...blah...blah...jack me off and pour me some lemonade. -Michael K
MORAL OF THIS FILLER POST:
It's truly a sad, sad day when THIS long-faced dude is considered HAWT just cause of his bleached and hot-oiled tresses and googly blue eyes.
DEAR GODS with all the HOT men (men that if you come within 3 feet of their pants your pussy combusts!) on this overrun planet, THIS shit is rammed up our collective grills.
Can we pretty please stop saying "buy kids?" It's the second time in two days I've seen it on this site. You don't "buy" children--you adopt them. Have a little sensitivity towards the kids themselves and the parents who go through a lot to adopt them. (me included) I'm not buying my kid. She's getting a better life. And I'm going through quite a bit to bring her home-interviews, fingerprints, background checks, etc. I can't just pick her up at the local Target.
Are we sure this isn't a woman?????
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"Home remedy #108: IF YOU HAVE A BAD COUGH, TAKE A LARGE DOSE OF LAXATIVES. THEN YOU'LL
BE AFRAID TO COUGH.
Submitted by ant on August 15, 2008 - 3:41pm.
Haha, sorry but I noticed your comment and I had to say... Hi5 has been my siggie for a long time. It's just what it means... hi[gh]-5! Like slapping your hands and saying "High-five!" xP
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Hi5.
LOVE CARROTTOP
I think maybe you should let this go. I've never had anything against you but I don't care for her and the "shit stiring" that she specializes in. Lets agree to disagree. But please don't try to tell anyone what to say to anyone else here. I'm sure she can take care of herself too and doesn't need your help.
__________________________________________________________
I'm your huckleberry...BITCH!!
Looks like he got his Master's in Doucheology from Federline State University.
What a tool.
Submitted by Pimpcessa on August 15, 2008 - 3:11pm.
No but it might be where I say what I want to her if I want to say it. I don't see how this concerns you at all. I don't get involved in your business so please show me the same courtesy. Thank you.
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It's called 'wanting to keep this place decent and peaceful'. I'm entitled to that right too. There's too much shit disturbing in here and it would be nice if for once people would lay off.
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Yes, ees gud. Now, if you pees shut mouf, we say nice prayer to God.
He's in this video:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TkIytHD5v9c
I think he's sort of cute.
Hey, now. Ya'll be nice to my cousin! Seriously, he is my cousin. Distant, but still related. My last name is Felker too! Be nice to the relations!
he looks like one of the sweet valley high twins...ugh whats their names... you know those blond girls.one had really short short hair for a while.....one of them did some shit stuff after that...uughhh cant rememebr their names..
anyways, yeah he looks like them...but with facial hair..
He looks a lot like Jason Lewis, another model-type that she wasn't dating. He's too pretty for me, I prefer them a bit more craggy.
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"You're a tool. And do you know why? It's because you're a ginge, Fintan. A dirty, freckly ginge."
Looks like nicolette sheridan with face pubes.
Submitted by Pimpcessa on August 15, 2008 - 3:02pm.
sorry, i find myself clueless a lot of the time, but what's this "Hi5"?
i know in hospitals it's code among nurses for a patients with HIV. since V is roman numeral for 5, you get Hi5.
LOVE CARROTTOP
Isn't this where you would stop ragging on Cooch since there was nothing personally offensive in what he/she posted??
No but it might be where I say what I want to her if I want to say it. I don't see how this concerns you at all. I don't get involved in your business so please show me the same courtesy. Thank you.
__________________________________________________________
I'm your huckleberry...BITCH!!
Submitted by Stoney on August 15, 2008 - 2:56pm.
I could be wrong on this one, but I'm pretty sure MK is mocking the stupid tabloids that are always headlining this 'Jen's bio-clock is ticking' bullshit. Maybe not, but I detect a hint of sarcasm when he posts that kind of stuff.
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Now I've seen a lot of bullshit... angel dust, switchblades, sexually perverse photography involving tennis rackets...
Wow, he's way prettier than her.
SOMEONE PLEASE TELL ME WHY PEOPLE GIVE SUCH A FUCKING SHIT ABOUT WHO THIS NOBODY DATES?? SHE DID ONE LAME FUCKING SHOW, IS NOT THAT HOT AND FUCK SHE HAS THE PERSONALITY OF A TICK...WHO GIVES A FUCKING SHIT!!
Anyone remember that episode of Charmed about 10 years ago where Shannen Doherty's character had to turn into a man, with facial hair and stuff. Yeah. She was hotter lookin dude than this guy.
Submitted by Pimpcessa on August 15, 2008 - 3:04pm.
Cooch.Roue
UUUUUUGGGGGGHHHHHH!!! Not you again.
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Isn't this where you would stop ragging on Cooch since there was nothing personally offensive in what he/she posted??
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Yes, ees gud. Now, if you pees shut mouf, we say nice prayer to God.
Submitted by Granny Clampett on August 15, 2008 - 2:57pm.
Submitted by Stoney on August 15, 2008 - 2:56pm.
I totally agree with you guys (and TRUST ME, I'm not a loonie). It's annoying how everyone makes her out to be some pathetic spinster when, in fact, I'd LOVE to have a life like hers. I'm sitting here in an office while she is free to do pretty much whatever the FUCK she wants. She created her fortune early on, so she's just living the good life. Not everyone needs a man to be validated. Has anyone considered that the douchebag to decent human being ratio in LA is grossly unbalanced??? I don't blame her for taking her time to settle down again.
He is ugly n pretty at the same time.
Cooch.Roue
UUUUUUGGGGGGHHHHHH!!! Not you again.
__________________________________________________________
I'm your huckleberry...BITCH!!
Oh and PSL too!! Hi5
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I'm your huckleberry...BITCH!!
this is old news
Hear hear for Granny Clampett and Stoney!! I couldn't agree more!
__________________________________________________________
I'm your huckleberry...BITCH!!
PSL, I am now gonna spend the rest of my afternoon looking for creepy and funny personals on CL...I didn't realize there were so many weirdos so close to me.
He looks more female than me and I have nice chesticles.
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She's not kidding. I'm gonna whip ya silly and I'm gonna fuck ya stupid.
I am with you Stoney......there is no need to "pity" JA....
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here's another point in life you should not miss
do not be a fool who's prejudiced;
because we're all written down on the same list
It's like that, and that's the way it is
I love you MK, but your Jennifer Aniston commentary pisses me off.* I'm sorry, but Jennifer is skinny, rich and famous. If she really wanted a baby, she'd have one by now. It's pretty easy to buy kids these days when you're a celebrity, or she could get inseminated or whatever. Something tells me she's happy just dating around, because if she weren't, she could probably find/buy a husband if she really wanted one. She's Jennifer Aniston, for the love of god.
*I AM NOT A LOONIE.
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"that is not a common looking vagina right?"
He almost looks like a male version of Jennifer Aniston to me...
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"Someday we'll all be gone but lullabies go on and on...they never die, that's how you and I will be..." -Billy Joel
Um, am I the only one who thinks that this guy looks like Marcia Brady on testosterone?
Submitted by LOVE CARROTTOP on August 15, 2008 - 2:54pm.
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Probably not and good on her!
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"Ed Westwick is not gay - he's British!"
i still say it.
Matt Felker can felk me all night long.
i'll even pull his hair.
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"I love fast and I love hard."-MK
He has some wonk-face going on.
Poll: Will Maniston ever actually make it to the altar again?
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Yes, ees gud. Now, if you pees shut mouf, we say nice prayer to God.