The Pastor's Wife Vindicated!
A jury in Houston, TX ruled today that Victoria Osteen, wifey of mega pastor Joel Osteen, did not give a flight attendant hemorrhoids.
Sharon Brown, the flight attendant, claimed crazy-eyed Victoria attacked her ass on a flight to Vail, CO. Sharon said that Victoria choked her ass and elbowed her in the tittay after a stain on her first-class seat wasn't cleaned up quickly enough. Sharon said the attack gave her hemorrhoids, affected her faith and caused her anxiety. She wanted at least $405,000.
Outside of the court house, Joel Osteen flashed his teeth made of Wite-Out and said, "It's a great vindication and shows us the faithfulness of God." Oh shit. The clouds just turned when I read Joel's statement. That's God rolling his eyes.
Sharon was robbed! I believe Victoria gave her hemorrhoids. Look at that woman! She probably hypnotized the jury with her crazy eyes! Actually, methinks Victoria's crazy eyes could also burn off Sharon's hemorrhoids. They should look into that. And if you've never seen a picture of roids, click here (NO, DON'T!)
Thanks Momus
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PRAISE JESUS!!!!
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I want totally sensory deprivation, and back-up drugs!
ewwwwwwwwwwwwwww why did I click
:(
George Carlin went to Heaven and left us with Dane Cook here in Hell
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You know, I rather like this God fellow. Very theatrical, you know. Pestilence here, a plague there. Omnipotence ... gotta get me some of that
Submitted by yiooooooo on August 14, 2008 - 5:28pm.
ewwwwwwwwwwww , why did I have to click , this is goin to give me nightmares , does anybody knows how do you get hemorrhoid??
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That shit will sneak up on ya when you're pregnant and sitting eight hours a day at work then three hours after that in class everyday like I was. However, I don't know how anyone lets it get as bad as it is in that pic. Your OB (when you are preg.) will be on that shit in a NY minute.
It just seems like that person was extremely irresponsible when it came to treating that monster.
Yeah, I clicked too. But I'd rather stare at that 'roid all fucking day than watch one minute of the crap that they spew out of their mouths.
Fucking drug dealers peddling the opiate of the masses.
the DUDE! abides...
Thank God the trial is over. Now God can focus on all of the worlds problems. I love how Rich Ass Jesus Freaks always have the direct line to God! Newsflash Victoria...God F'n hates you!
Is anyone surprised that a Houston jury absolved Ministress Osteen.
One can contact the Osteens at:
Joel Osteen Ministries
P.O. Box 4600
Houston, TX 77210
Note the Houston address.
Just sayin'.
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I didn’t say that it was your fault – I said that I was going to blame you.
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Absolutely no way in hell am I clicking on that link!! No way.
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http://fuzzygalore.buzznet.com
Team Troll - cause Spencer is a douche.
I consider it a sign of class and elegance when a lady DOESN'T draw attention to her snatchal region.
ewwwwwwwwwwww , why did I have to click , this is goin to give me nightmares , does anybody knows how do you get hemorrhoid??
Submitted by Tigerlilly on July 14, 2008 - 8:39pm.
HUG ME JESUS! I SAY, HUG ME JESUS!!!! Can I get an Amen from the DListed congregation...I say, can I GET AN AMEN FROM THE DLISTED CONGREGATION???? You know you ho's want a hug from Jesus
Wonky Eyes 2.0
kookoo!
Anyone know Joel's networth?
Her husband looks weird. Creepy with that teeth.
Please Mr. Francis Ford Coppola, make a Godfather part 4 with Talia Shire as the Godfather and Kay finally with the program.
This bitch is in need of a hot oil treatment...STAT!!
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It takes 46 muscles to frown but only 4 to flip 'em the bird.
All the pastors who are famous or have a tv show are evil and I hate them, they are the worst of the worst they are the first to cheat on their wifes ,hired prostitutes ,use drugs and commit frauds
Submitted by Tigerlilly on July 14, 2008 - 8:39pm.
HUG ME JESUS! I SAY, HUG ME JESUS!!!! Can I get an Amen from the DListed congregation...I say, can I GET AN AMEN FROM THE DLISTED CONGREGATION???? You know you ho's want a hug from Jesus
She and Trish (crazy-eyed divorcee) should go on a speaking tour together.
Topic: How To Intimidate People With A Baselisk Stare!
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I didn’t say that it was your fault – I said that I was going to blame you.
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Other passengers said the flight attendant was lying about being thrown around and thrown up against the wall. Bullshit lawsuits like these should have the person suing pay all court costs and jurors' time away from work...anything for a quick buck anymore...
What is up with all the blondes with "crazy eyes" anyway. Thats some nightmare shit right there...
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It takes 46 muscles to frown but only 4 to flip 'em the bird.
Submitted by Fucking_Classy on August 14, 2008 - 2:06pm.
this "it shows us the faithfulness of God" is ridiculous. So God is faithful to them, but are they faithful to God?
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Christ, these people have a helluva lot of chutzpah.
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megalomania [megələˈmeiniə] noun
the idea, usually false, that one is great or powerful, combined with a passion for more greatness or power
"OMGWTFBBQ!"
^
Fucking classy...i fucking loved this. :D
I will NOT click that link....talking about POO is enough for me today...dont need to burn my cornea's with someone's nasty coochie-mess!!!
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It takes 46 muscles to frown but only 4 to flip 'em the bird.
Damn, I was hoping Sharon Brown would bankrupt these idiots.
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"You don't remember the motorcycle gang? Doing the striptease in front of them at the bar? The iguana? Good God, man. Tell me you remember the iguana!"
she scares me.
Submitted by Mrs.Kravitz on August 15, 2008 - 4:56am.
Submitted by Fucking_Classy on August 14, 2008 - 1:50pm.
If I were God, I'd be pretty fucking pissed about all these morons using my name for sick self-promotion.
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PREACH ON, sistah.
(or brotha, as the case may be)
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It's sistah ;)
I find it allarming that in the 21st century people are still exploiting others for the sake of wacky religions and a God who is as twisted as they are.
And no, I'm not against religions, but this "it shows us the faithfulness of God" is ridiculous. So God is faithful to them, but are they faithful to God?
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" Jesus can see everything I do... and he's going to beat me brainless!"
Submitted by Stoney on August 14, 2008 - 5:05pm.
HA!!!!
My pain, my pleasure, my heart, my world.
I'm grateful I am disciplined enough to NOT CLICK when it says DON'T CLICK..THANK YA JEZZUS!
This person looks likes she's from a Saturday Night Live sketch.
I believe the only reason why this woman got off is because she has a husband who leads a "ministry." So most likely the jurors believed that if they voted against this woman, they'd be sent to hell. (sorry for the error)
Easy as pie. Put atheists on the jury and see if they come out with the same verdict.
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I am Mexican and and I do think Michael Bay's "Transformers" is racist.
AJP, I love you so much! I just found my new siggy!
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"that is not a common looking vagina right?"
Mrs. Osteen is clearly demented, all those Jesus-y women are. Interesting that she took off her religious bling to appear on the stand, no doubt her lawyer wanted her to look more "everyday", which is hard to do when you have a $250,000 diamond cross hanging around your neck. A pox upon her, as well as her nancy-boy hubby Joel, who is made out of superslick pink plastic with Chiclets for teeth. He reminds me of a human Pez dispenser
"Rhoda, we're all aware that you're an adroit liar"
I clicked again (judge me) but I had to find out which part of that sick mess is her asshole.
Still don't know.
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I got attitude in my horse pills!
Submitted by ILovePapaSmurf on August 14, 2008 - 4:53pm
Hahaha! So true.
Dude, You guys should see "Jesus Camp." The best shit ever made. Scared the fuck out of my agnostic ass.
Anyhoo, isn't vanity a sin? Shouldn't all these motherfreakers be ugly and not done up? And I think God(if there is one) has better things to do then help a peroxide bimbo hypocritical ass who drives a Lexus with the damn Jesus Fish in the back, while making a profit from his name...just statin'.
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"I, Sweetblueberrysunshine, is banned from Celebitchy.com because 48 year old assholes can't take jokes and are so hypocritical that I wish for their uteruses to fall out."
I hate myself for looking at that. I should know better.
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"Hell ain't SHIT!" Stinkmeaner from "The Boondocks"
Submitted by Fucking_Classy on August 14, 2008 - 1:50pm.
If I were God, I'd be pretty fucking pissed about all these morons using my name for sick self-promotion.
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PREACH ON, sistah.
(or brotha, as the case may be)
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MK, just cuz you are sick don't make us all suffer.
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"WHO THE FUCK CARES WHORE!!
GET A JOB..THERE IS AN OPENING IN THE BURGER KING IN OHIO IF YOU CAN CONTROL YOURSELF FROM BATHING IN THE SINK." stan hooper
that is not a common looking vagina right?
My pain, my pleasure, my heart, my world.
So wait...does that mean god hates the flight attendant?
Just clicked on the link.
OMGWTFBBQ!
I had no idea roids could look THIS bad. Dayum.
My former asshole (yep!) boss had'em, she even carried that stupid pillow with her... ahhh, I'm suddenly feeling really good right now!
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" Jesus can see everything I do... and he's going to beat me brainless!"
HEY I GOT ROIDS FROM LOOKING AT KATIE HOLMES AND HER GRANNY HAIR..CAN I SUE HER AND TOMMY??
Submitted by Fucking_Classy on August 14, 2008 - 2:50pm.
You hit the nail on the head, Fucking_Classy.
My newest celebrity obsession: Eric Bana.
CRAZY.
FUCKING.
EYES.
I clicked.
I can never have sex again.
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I got attitude in my horse pills!
fuck. i looked.
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Annelle, honey, what do you say we talk some trash.
You cannot trick me into opening that link again, you sly mother fucker!!!
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"yes, DUH, I am a low rent whore"
THAT HEMROID PICTURE MK YOU BASTARD MAKING ME LOOK AT THAT HAIR BAGINA WHY YOU BITCH WHY WHY HYWHIHFLGKNG/LDKGJ'PZDFGLZD
IM DEAD NOW YOU KILLED ME SLUT
My pain, my pleasure, my heart, my world.
If I were God, I'd be pretty fucking pissed about all these morons using my name for sick self-promotion.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
" Jesus can see everything I do... and he's going to beat me brainless!"
all the boys think she a spie she got
VERY CRAZY EYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES
My pain, my pleasure, my heart, my world.
Wrong. I got hemmerhoids just now looking at her. There's no way the flight attendant escaped it.
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I got attitude in my horse pills!