Thursday, August 14th 2008

Tits AND Lips?

First of all, sorry for the lack of posts this morning. I caught some kind of cold earlier this week and it is really fucking me in the ass without lube today. I'm trying to hold on for dear life! May Chicken Cutlets be with me. Tommy Girl has put a curse on me. No wonder I'm always having nightmares about little green peens. So...if I'm slower than usual today and I don't make much sense (again, more than usual), that's the reason. Now let's get on with it!

Katie Price wandered the streets of Los Angeles yesterday buying a bunch of shit she really doesn't need. Katie will usually vomits up all kinds of information about herself, but she wasn't talking yesterday. The paps asked her if she got her chichis reduced. She wouldn't say, but it looks like whatever they took from her tittays, they put in her lips. Maybe that's why she couldn't talk. She couldn't open her fucking mouth. If that's the case, she should get them bigger. Her pout looks like Tommy Girl's ass lips (that curse just got stronger) after a game of "shock the booty" with Johnny Travolta.

Wenn

Posted by: Michael K


Khensu Hetep's picture

She used to be so pretty before, but now she looks like Pete Wentz in a fucking wig.

<3 That ain't ranch dressing on your salad...

MacKoroni's picture

I don't think she looks much like Angie, I actually think she's prettier! Angelina has always looked weird to me, I think her nose job was a mistake, her nose is too slender for her wide face and huge lips.

Sweetas's picture

Ahahahahhahahahaa!! *crying*

Keep carvin Katie, you reverse feckin jack-o-lantern.

mrs grotbags's picture

This sleazy cunt looks like Brains from Thunderbirds.

snowpiece's picture

The Sunshine Gang yes he does, there is something going around....
****************************1/20/09
"WHO THE FUCK CARES WHORE!!
GET A JOB..THERE IS AN OPENING IN THE BURGER KING IN OHIO IF YOU CAN CONTROL YOURSELF FROM BATHING IN THE SINK." stan hooper

The Sunshine Gang's picture

[humming the melody to Bowie's Starman] There's a reason why she and her "man" are relevant, right?

The Sunshine Gang's picture

I'm loving the shiny bald eight-head. Its scary/bizarre how her thighs are the same width as her calves, how does that work anyway?

The Sunshine Gang's picture

What goes on in her head I wonder

The Sunshine Gang's picture

Just ducky :)

The Sunshine Gang's picture

She's one of the weird ones

The Sunshine Gang's picture

Weird, I caught a cold this week too. Do you live in NY MK?

except Angelina doesn't have those wrinkles all around her trout pout lol! Katie looks like she could suck hell out of something with that ginormous gob. what has happened to the world of beauty?! Who the heck started the big lip thing?! It looks hilarious and also very, silly.

YesterdaysTrashQueen's picture

She looks like Jenna Jameson with dark hair.
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"I love fast and I love hard."-MK

RJII's picture

she looks better to me w/out all the plastic and make-up and sparkly barbie cloths.

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Blogs aren't for the sensitive at heart - FU
I'm NOT an economist, I'm an optimist. GW Bush

madam s.'s picture

I totally thought that was Angie Ho Voight when I scrolled down! That would be so fantastic if Brad moved on to Katie Price next, making Harvey, Princess GayFace and the crew his next insta-family.

Feel better MK!

lizardo911's picture

God, she kind of looks like a trailer trash version of Angelina Jolie. LOL!

ruby_lucite_slippers's picture

she looks beautiful. I love her. I saw her profile on that shameless self promoting hussy site """"""TwoBitHo.c o m"""""" last week. It is said she is bearding a big ol'gay greek guy on that site.

VooDooVixen's picture

THREE WORDS: Oranger than orange.......

~~To achieve true happiness, find a cause bigger than yourself.....~~

~~Nothing screams "Haute Couture" like prison tattoos~~

Salem13's picture

She looks like a tranny Howard the Duck. Get better MK

2Di4's picture

Submitted by Otter Pop on August 14, 2008 - 10:56am.
I fucking hate Kitson. Nothing but a bunch of overpriced crap and hos looking to have their pictures taken.
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Totally!! Their stuff is awful. Racks of trashy t-shirts. I think of it as a thrift store for rich people. Same goes for Needless Markup. F both those places.
When I need to get noticed, I head to Fremont Mall and tell the bitches at Steve & Barry to shut the place down while I shop. Then I stand outside and wait for paparazzi to show up and start snapping. I'm hot like that.

2Di4's picture

CHRIST ON A CRACKER!
What did Katie do to my beloved Jordan? That bitch is f-ed up! What next? Coco with ass lipo?

When I saw that pic I honestly thought, "Heidi Fleiss seems to gotten rid of some of her meth scars."

Damn. That just ruined my whole friggin morning.

NovaNightly's picture

She's hilarious....and in a weird way i like her.

Its obvious she got her boobs done...she's wearing something that covers her boobs for once and you can see the white strap to her special post-boobie op bra. They DO look smaller too...

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It takes 46 muscles to frown but only 4 to flip 'em the bird.

FruFru's picture

Gag a maggot ! She's looks like an oompa loompa that sucked too long on the chocolate hose ! I'm so over her. she needs therapy !

kdracofan's picture

Feel better MK

Otter Pop's picture

I fucking hate Kitson. Nothing but a bunch of overpriced crap and hos looking to have their pictures taken.

Suki's picture

BARF.

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Just don't feed the gayelles! They eat enough of each other.---MK 8/5/2008

DeeDee's picture

I remember that episode yourMom. That's the episode where Kramer make the three lane highway into a two lane. Nice and roomy. I love Seinfeld.

☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺
Girls with large kolaches shouldn't be talking all Slitty! ~Sluttsville

JillyPoo's picture

Submitted by FatMartha on August 14, 2008 - 9:32am.

I don't know your story obviously, but I have heard others where women needed such a surgery because they were in pain and it was literally hazardous to their well-being.
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That was me! H-cups do not belong on a 5'4", 140lb girl. Back pain, deep grooves in my shoulders from bra straps, heat rash all the time in the boobal region, etc. Not to mention the stares/comments from asshole guys, being known as "the girl with huge boobs," looking awkward in cute clothes, etc. Basically they made my miserable, so they had to go :)

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"F*ck you Tyra Banks, Oprah, Magic Johnson, Tiger Woods, Rockefeller. F*ck you." - La Pequena Hillary Clinton, 6/17/08

parissucksliterally's picture

eeuuuww!
She really needs to find a better doctor. One that knows how to say , "No"!

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Just when every day seemed to greet me with a smile; sun spots are fading, now I'm doing time, now I'm doing time.....
-Soundgarden "Fell On Black Days"

Countess Olenska's picture

hmm ok then, I'll just say what we all think: SHE WANTS TO BE ANGELINA JOLIE. Just like Megan Fox, Brittany Murphy, Lindsay Lohan etc.

But the thing is: ain't gonna happen toots. You lack brains, natural beauty, dignity, a career, a hot man and.. oh, I could go on.

Just accept who you are, Jordan... an orange ex-porn/stripper-something.

It kind of boggles my mind that EVERYBODY on the planet wants to be like Jolie. Her kind of beauty isn't the only one you know? Look at Zeta-Jones, Bellucci, Adjani, Pfeiffer, Béart...wait, Béart is a bad example with her inflated lips.

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MK is a comedic god next to stupid Perez. Why isn't MK catapulted to fame? There's so much I don't understand. Let's start a movement!

Your Mom Ate the Taco's picture

Submitted by DeeDee on August 14, 2008 - 9:34am.
@ YourMom I'm not an asswoman normally, but I'll take one for the team if it means MK will switch teams. I'm generous like that.

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LOL, it was actually a Seinfeld reference--Kramer goes to the DMV to pick up his new plates and get's a proctologist's vanity plates that say "ASSMAN." They make him keep them until the mixup is fixed, so he puts them on his car and everyone calls him the "Assman."

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Sorrow is knowledge, those that know the most must mourn the deepest, the tree of knowledge is not the tree of life. -- Lord Byron

She looks beautiful. I love her. I saw her profile on millionaire personals site """"""C e l e b C u p i d.c o m"""""" last week. It is said she is dating young billionaire on that site.

snowpiece's picture

okie: I just got some really good weed and forgot how to use the internets, LOL missed U 2.
as for plastic surgery, I can't really talk shit, I started getting my Dad's nose a couple years ago, it was totally twisted and there was a ball on the end with cleavage. So I got it chopped off, so kill me, LOL
****************************1/20/09
"WHO THE FUCK CARES WHORE!!
GET A JOB..THERE IS AN OPENING IN THE BURGER KING IN OHIO IF YOU CAN CONTROL YOURSELF FROM BATHING IN THE SINK." stan hooper

DeeDee's picture

@ YourMom I'm not an asswoman normally, but I'll take one for the team if it means MK will switch teams. I'm generous like that.

@ Slutty SlittyKolachelover plates were not available.

☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺
Girls with large kolaches shouldn't be talking all Slitty! ~Sluttsville

KD's picture

It probably came free with her boob job. Those glasses are re-DICK.

lol- I had to edit because I originally wrote that "I probably came free..." Nope. I'm not that cheap.

FatMartha's picture

Submitted by JillyPoo on August 14, 2008 - 10:59am.

See, now that sort of thing is okay, I think. I don't know your story obviously, but I have heard others where women needed such a surgery because they were in pain and it was literally hazardous to their well-being. That is perfectly okay. But when people put friggin' balloons in their chest and have a waist like a Barbie because of lipo... then I take issue. I guess that's the conservative in me surfacing. xP

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Hi5.

Deb's picture

Feel better, MK!

"This ain't rock n roll. This is genocide!"

FatMartha's picture

Submitted by TheBreakdown on August 14, 2008 - 10:57am.
"Small town hussies have big city dreams too."

Hahaha! Touche, my good sir. xP That will be my new catch-phrase, methinks.
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Hi5.

Mawy's picture

She was cute (albeit trashy but cute) before. Why did she have to mess with her face? She looks disgusting now. I feel bad for those innocent children that have to look at that face when she tucks them in at night- if she even does that.
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Use goodsearch instead of google. Each time you search, you can donate money to your favorite charity without having to spend any money yourself! Spread the word.

snowpiece's picture

and where's Harvey?

****************************1/20/09
"WHO THE FUCK CARES WHORE!!
GET A JOB..THERE IS AN OPENING IN THE BURGER KING IN OHIO IF YOU CAN CONTROL YOURSELF FROM BATHING IN THE SINK." stan hooper

JillyPoo's picture

Submitted by TheBreakdown on August 14, 2008 - 9:15am.

I don't think there is any part of my body I dislike enough to cut it off or alter it unnoticeably, but I have no objections to plastic surgery, done right and minimally.
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ITA. I've actually had plastic surgery - breast reduction, i was freakishly huge - but nowadays people take it wayyyyy too far. Same with the spray tans and makeup. Jordan/Katie/whateverthefuck WAS a naturally gorgeous girl that went completely overboard. I don't understand the allure of fake tits and i definitely don't understand the allure of duck lips.

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"F*ck you Tyra Banks, Oprah, Magic Johnson, Tiger Woods, Rockefeller. F*ck you." - La Pequena Hillary Clinton, 6/17/08

oklahoma's picture

Snowpiece. I'm ok!! How are you? I've missed you SO much! I thought you died or were abducted or ate some bad ketchup or something.

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Pop pills, Pills I pop, Pop two pills
On stilts I walk; Snort two lines that were filled with chalk; Thought I was incredible and killed the hulk;

Sluttsville's picture

Submitted by Your Mom Ate th... on August 14, 2008 - 10:22am.
So, you're the AssWoman! Did you happen to get the wrong plates at the DMV?
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No, DeeDee is the AssWoman....well....because of the size of her..kolaches???

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She's not kidding. I'm gonna whip ya silly and I'm gonna fuck ya stupid.

TheBreakdown's picture

FatMartha:

Yes, but these cities were Dallas, NYC, SF, but alot of the patients were from small towns, so that is not always true.

They came, got everything lifted/tucked/excised, and then went back home from their 'vacation' REFRESHED.

Small town hussies have big city dreams too.

Just ask Brit-Shit!

'Heaux Confessionals'
www.myspace.com/triston

joanne's picture

Get well please.

I'm pretty sure she's had them reduced. She's got the bra on that they make you wear after you have your boobs worked on.

snowpiece's picture

Okie my love, I have been looking for your ass for the past two days, how the hell are ya!

****************************1/20/09
"WHO THE FUCK CARES WHORE!!
GET A JOB..THERE IS AN OPENING IN THE BURGER KING IN OHIO IF YOU CAN CONTROL YOURSELF FROM BATHING IN THE SINK." stan hooper

Sluttsville's picture

"I caught some kind of cold earlier this week and it is really fucking me in the ass without lube today." We had a telethon last year for the purchase and installation of the Autoasslubicator for MK. If it's not in MK's ass, where did the money go?

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She's not kidding. I'm gonna whip ya silly and I'm gonna fuck ya stupid.

oklahoma's picture

I thought that was Angelina Jolie. Which I hate to say Cause I like Jordan, ho hum..

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Pop pills, Pills I pop, Pop two pills
On stilts I walk; Snort two lines that were filled with chalk; Thought I was incredible and killed the hulk;

Chris Ecclestons Concubine's picture

Get better soon, MK! I don't know if they have it in New York, but if you can, get some Otrivin. It's the only cold medicine I've ever had that worked. It's a miraculous nasal spray.

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TimTams Rule!