Brace Yourselves! Eva Is Trying To Have A Baby!
File this under: Can't she just buy a baby mouse instead? "Desperate Housewives" creator Marc Cherry opened his butterball mouth to UsWeekly and said that Eva LongWHORIA is trying to have a baby. Alert the fucking world! You know she made him announce that.
He said that Eva and Tony are "desperately trying to get pregnant." I love how he threw the name of his show in there. Marc went on to say, "After they phone their doctor, she promised me I will be the next call." Negative. The first call will be to their PR sluts to begin the baby whoring.
You better believe that if she's pregnant, she's going to sell everything. EVERYTHING. She's going to sell the baby announcement, the ultrasound pictures, her placenta, the umbilical cord and limited-edition jars of her amniotic fluid. Shit, if the price is right, she'll even sell her baby! She'll also talk about it day and night. Eva will even launch the Eva Baby Watch Channel. 24-hours of Eva LongWHORIA baby news! Barf.
Here's Eva on the set of DH looking like she just got off the graveyard-shift from her job at Howard Johnson's. There's a little nip action in some of the pics, just so you know. I pity the poor child who has to suck on those selfish things. Yes, Eva has selfish nipples. You can tell.
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trying to get pregnant smells of desperation...
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"what're you still doing here? Didn't I tell you to go home and fuck your mother?"
Night Maarrthhaaaaaa.
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I got attitude in my horse pills!
Night night LCT.
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Hi5.
I have no idea, but I have the feeling "desperately trying to get pregnant" sex probably isn't that great.
Nighty night, girls and boys.
James Haven, you're on your way to the bigtime with that video! Smoooooooch.
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I got attitude in my horse pills!
I am so sick of these Hollywood twats and their babies or lack thereof. So they are "desperately" trying to make a baby, does that mean that they are fucking nonstop?? Who gives a shit! Like making a kid is so goddamn unique. It's such a blatant scream for attention.
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Did I leave the gas on? No! No, I'm a fuckin' squirrel!
Submitted by QueenCharisma on August 13, 2008 - 9:29pm.
Drs. do c-sections because they're quicker than natural labor and they get paid more for those operations. There you go.
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Only after unnecessary hours of labour that the doctors can clock in on.
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I got attitude in my horse pills!
@LCT: Yes, he gave me quite a few of those as well.
@James: The lines on your face are the definition of perfection. Your lovely hazel eyes make my head swim, just as I would swim in the sea that shares their color. You could truly be mistaken for a sculpture by Michaelangelo or diVinci or one of those other Renaissance nonsense peoples. God bless you for gracing our lowly asses with your perfection. *hugs your ankles* WE ARE NOT WORTHY!
(In all seriousness, good ol' Incest Jamesy doesn't look too shabby in that vid. Then again, it may be that the video is very low quality and that I'm on a sugar high from all the crap I ate tonight.)
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Hi5.
eva's trying to pop a kid so she can cinch getting half that nba baller money...
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the world is great big old place for all of us to fuck up in it...
Submitted by James Haven on August 13, 2008 - 9:25pm.
You never know LCT. James Haven and Angie are French Canadian afterall, and Canada is a foreign country.
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And some Canadian babies are only given donuts and beer to eat...
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I got attitude in my horse pills!
Submitted by luckycharms on August 13, 2008 - 9:24pm.
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Drs. do c-sections because they're quicker than natural labor and they get paid more for those operations. There you go.
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"Ed Westwick is not gay - he's British!"
Submitted by FatMartha on August 13, 2008 - 9:55pm.
Well FatMartha, how could you have not noticed James Haven's high cheekbones? chisled chin, kissable lips and hazel eyes? Hmmmmm???
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See James Haven in an Oscar winning performance!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2w9cKFiCrSU
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Submitted by FatMartha on August 13, 2008 - 9:25pm.
SOME1 IS JUST A JELLUS H8R B/C THEY DON'T LOOK AS YOUNG AS ME (read: look like a middleschool girl at her first dance).
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I'm only jellus 'cause booger gives me a girl boner.
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I got attitude in my horse pills!
Submitted by James Haven on August 13, 2008 - 7:20pm.
Uh oh. Sounds like she's planning something major with all those kids.
James, I can't decide what to tell you: get out now for your own safety, or stay and get more juicy gossip??? XD
My newest celebrity obsession: Eric Bana.
Submitted by LOVE CARROTTOP on August 13, 2008 - 9:54pm.
You never know LCT. James Haven and Angie are French Canadian afterall, and Canada is a foreign country.
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See James Haven in an Oscar winning performance!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2w9cKFiCrSU
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Submitted by LOVE CARROTTOP on August 13, 2008
I think it's the eyeshadow.
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SOME1 IS JUST A JELLUS H8R B/C THEY DON'T LOOK AS YOUNG AS ME (read: look like a middleschool girl at her first dance).
Dearest James, Fatmartha watched your lovely video and FatMartha must say that she would have mistaken you for a decent looking man if she didn't know better!! <3
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Hi5.
Seriously, what is with all of the c-section crap. Back in the day, doctors would only agree to one if they thought it was absolutely neccessary. I am convinced a lot of these Hollyweirds just don't want to strech out their vags. Me and my siblings were all born during the sixties, way before that c-section shit was common. I asked my mother, who usually never drinks, how she delt with the labor pains. Her response: Your father would keep the Jack Daniels shots flowing until I finally got my epidural right before delivery.
Submitted by James Haven on August 13, 2008 - 9:20pm.
Angie would like to adopt a child from India, Mongolia, Romania, Russia and an Eskimo child. She said that wants to be the "Mia Farrow of our generation" Guess that makes Brad "Woody".
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What about a Canadian baby :(
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I got attitude in my horse pills!
Apologies for the double post! James Haven doesn't know what the hell happened there!
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See James Haven in an Oscar winning performance!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2w9cKFiCrSU
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Submitted by fuzzyslippers on August 13, 2008 - 9:40pm.
Well fuzzy. One would think that they would be stopping at six, but not so for Angbra. "Angbra" is what she wants the paps to call them. She wants her name first. She doesn't like "Brangie" She told James Haven that she's the "brains of the operation".
Angie would like to adopt a child from India, Mongolia, Romania, Russia and an Eskimo child. She said that wants to be the "Mia Farrow of our generation" Guess that makes Brad "Woody".
******************************************************************
See James Haven in an Oscar winning performance!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2w9cKFiCrSU
```````````````````````````````````````````````
Submitted by fuzzyslippers on August 13, 2008 - 9:40pm.
Well fuzzy. One would think that they would be stopping at six, but not so for Angbra. "Angbra" is what she wants the paps to call them. She wants her name first. She doesn't like "Brangie" She told James Haven that she's the "brains of the operation".
Angie would like to adopt a child from India, Mongolia, Romania, Russia and an Eskimo child. She said that wants to be the "Mia Farrow of our generation" Guess that makes Brad "Woody".
******************************************************************
See James Haven in an Oscar winning performance!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2w9cKFiCrSU
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Submitted by James Haven on August 13, 2008 - 9:17pm.
Alot of work was put into it. There was singing lessons, driving lessons, and James Haven had to spend many days and nights in the men's room to get the feel for his part. James Haven is dedicated to his art!
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Oh my God. LOLOLOLOLOLOL! I can see this! Love it!
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Laissez le bon temps rouler!
Submitted by Sugaroo on August 13, 2008 - 9:40pm.
Glad you liked it Sugaroo! Alot of work was put into it. There was singing lessons, driving lessons, and James Haven had to spend many days and nights in the men's room to get the feel for his part. James Haven is dedicated to his art!
******************************************************************
See James Haven in an Oscar winning performance!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2w9cKFiCrSU
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I LOVE how James brings his little basket of toiletries in the carpool car.
"With cash, I could date, and no more watch men urinate!"
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I got attitude in my horse pills!
She's gross. I can't stand her.
She knows she'd better have that baby before the series is canceled so she can reap the maximum amount from Hello or People.
Doing great James thanks for asking. *Bows back*
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"I think we'll need some more FBI guys."
Why do I keep watching MonsterQuest? I know they haven't ever found a monster in any episode because it would be in the god damn news if they ever did, so why?
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
http://www.myspace.com/rainbowsrule
The Hollywood machine loves a happy homewrecker. In fact, they worship them. They even give them $14 million for pictures of their chosen ones. - Our beloved MK
Oh, James! Since you have the inside scoop, you must tell me: Just how much is Brangelina regretting having all these chilluns? They can't be as happy as they look!
My newest celebrity obsession: Eric Bana.
James.
That video.
I have no words.
Dear God.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
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Laissez le bon temps rouler!
Submitted by James Haven on August 13, 2008 - 9:05pm
Pax! That's it! Thanks LCT. James Haven always forgets that kid's name. James Haven does like to throw a few words the kid's way. He needs to be toughened up. Mad is a force to be reckoned with and Z is no walk in the park. If Pax doesn't toughen up, there is no telling what those two will do to him. James Haven took Pax to the shooting range the last time they were together. The kid did pretty good but we were asked to leave when they realized Pax was not a "little person"
Now James Haven knows what you are thinking. But you have no idea what it's like living with those two and that kid needs to survive!
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I give you credit for taking him to the shooting range. I've heard those stories about Zahara and her crazy cat fingernails. No wonder poor Pax doesn't talk. She'd rip his poor little tongue out. He's lucky to have such a good uncle who teaches him the necessities of self defense.
PS. Your performance brought me to tears of fear that I would make pee times all over my chair it was so giggle-worthy.
She is my favorite. I love her. I saw her profile on milllionaire personals site""""C e l e b C u p i d.c o m""""""" yesterday. It is said she is in relationship with a young handsome guy on that site now. Is she single again?
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Submitted by LOVE CARROTTOP on August 13, 2008 - 9:27pm.
Pax! That's it! Thanks LCT. James Haven always forgets that kid's name. James Haven does like to throw a few words the kid's way. He needs to be toughened up. Mad is a force to be reckoned with and Z is no walk in the park. If Pax doesn't toughen up, there is no telling what those two will do to him. James Haven took Pax to the shooting range the last time they were together. The kid did pretty good but we were asked to leave when they realized Pax was not a "little person"
Now James Haven knows what you are thinking. But you have no idea what it's like living with those two and that kid needs to survive!
******************************************************************
See James Haven in an Oscar winning performance!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2w9cKFiCrSU
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Submitted by Mr. President on August 13, 2008 - 9:23pm.
Mr. President! *bows*
How are you?
No. There is no word yet on how much green Eva will receive but scuttlebutt on the street has it that she will not get as much as Angie did. Not many hollywood babies hit the paydirt that Shiloh, Knoxie, and Vivi did.
******************************************************************
See James Haven in an Oscar winning performance!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2w9cKFiCrSU
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Submitted by James Haven on August 13, 2008 - 8:56pm.
LCT! SmOOches! good to see you!
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You too! Now Jamesy, I heard a rumour today and I wanted to clear it with you before I believed it.
Is it true that you are teaching Pax bad words, and that's the only English he knows?
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I got attitude in my horse pills!
Submitted by LOVE CARROTTOP on August 13, 2008 - 9:21pm.
Hi Jamesy!
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LCT! SmOOches! good to see you!
******************************************************************
See James Haven in an Oscar winning performance!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2w9cKFiCrSU
```````````````````````````````````````````````
Submitted by fuzzyslippers on August 13, 2008 - 9:21pm.
Well fuzzy, it's not secret that Eva likes the drama. James Haven did not speak above a whisper when he tried to give Eva some beauty tips. She however, stood up and screamed loudly that James Haven had fish lips before she threw her Frapp. But James Haven had the last laugh when she marched out of Starbucks with a looooonnng piece of toilet paper stuck to her shoe.
******************************************************************
See James Haven in an Oscar winning performance!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2w9cKFiCrSU
```````````````````````````````````````````````
Jaaaammmmesssss Haaaaveeennnn. How are ya doin'? Have you found out what the Longwhoria baby pics would be worth?
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"I think we'll need some more FBI guys."
Hi Jamesy!
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I got attitude in my horse pills!
Submitted by James Haven on August 13, 2008 - 6:48pm.
Poor James!! :( But how did the squirrel splash tea on your face? Was she standing on a chair? XD
My newest celebrity obsession: Eric Bana.
Submitted by luckycharms on August 13, 2008 - 8:43pm.
It will be twins with the obligatory c-section to follow. Trust.
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Twins? C-Section? What are those? I've NEVER heard of them!
James Haven warned Eva about cutting her hair. He told Eva her hair was too bushey and her face was squirrel like. Not only did she throw her Green Tea Frappuccino in James Haven's face, but she didn't listen!
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See James Haven in an Oscar winning performance!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2w9cKFiCrSU
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Yes and they will schedule the c-section for the ninth day of April in honor of the number they both simply adore. And they will make up a name that combines the two names of Eva and Tony because they are soulmates. Antonia if it is a girl and Tevon if it is a boy. And she will do a giant photo shoot of the crib and toys for 2 million and then complain that she was not paid enough and announce how bad that made her feel. And then she will do a Self magazine cover on how she got her before baby bod back in May. And that will be a photo shoot of her and Mario working out on the Beach with baby Tevon.
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It will be twins with the obligatory c-section to follow. Trust.
Submitted by FatMartha on August 13, 2008 - 8:22pm.
OMG BOOGER WAS TEH BESTEST DOGGIE IN THE WORLD N I LOVED HIM SO I DID SEXY TIMES WITH MY MORMON BF AGAINST HIS WILL BUT HE REALLY WANTED A PIECE O DIS AND THEN I SOLD HIS SPERM FOR $50K AND CLONED BOOGER AND NOW I AM HAPPY SQUEEEEEEE.
I really don't know what gives you that idea, LCT.
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I think it's the eyeshadow.
LMFAO, by the way.
She looks like a gerbil.
.•´¯`•-><-•´¯`•..•´¯`•-><-•´¯`•..•´¯`•->
"Asshole . . . get that down or else you better pawn your cat because you'll need the money!" Tricia Walsh-Smith: Patroness of Angry Divorcés
Eva reminds me of the ambitious driven girl in high-school who believes her shit doesn't stink and has to announce her every action because the entire student population simply adores her, when in reality they HATE her ass and wish that she would just go the F away.
Eva Longoria= that girl. Tracey Flick 2008 version.
she looks pregnant
Submitted by LOVE CARROTTOP on August 13, 2008 - 8:49pm.
Submitted by FatMartha on August 13, 2008 - 8:13pm.
Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmdun care. She looks like a Stepford Wife who got caught in a windmill. Next!
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It throws me off every time you post. I swear you're the dog-cloner
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OMG BOOGER WAS TEH BESTEST DOGGIE IN THE WORLD N I LOVED HIM SO I DID SEXY TIMES WITH MY MORMON BF AGAINST HIS WILL BUT HE REALLY WANTED A PIECE O DIS AND THEN I SOLD HIS SPERM FOR $50K AND CLONED BOOGER AND NOW I AM HAPPY SQUEEEEEEE.
I really don't know what gives you that idea, LCT.
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Hi5.
Submitted by FatMartha on August 13, 2008 - 8:13pm.
Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmdun care. She looks like a Stepford Wife who got caught in a windmill. Next!
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It throws me off every time you post. I swear you're the dog-cloner.
Madam Pince on August 13, 2008 - 8:16pm
TWINKIES JINX!
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Madolyn: What do you expect coming in here?
Billy Costigan: I have to come here.
Madolyn: I know you have to come here, but now that you're here, what do you want?
Billy Costigan: You want the truth? Valium.