Brace Yourselves! Eva Is Trying To Have A Baby!
File this under: Can't she just buy a baby mouse instead? "Desperate Housewives" creator Marc Cherry opened his butterball mouth to UsWeekly and said that Eva LongWHORIA is trying to have a baby. Alert the fucking world! You know she made him announce that.
He said that Eva and Tony are "desperately trying to get pregnant." I love how he threw the name of his show in there. Marc went on to say, "After they phone their doctor, she promised me I will be the next call." Negative. The first call will be to their PR sluts to begin the baby whoring.
You better believe that if she's pregnant, she's going to sell everything. EVERYTHING. She's going to sell the baby announcement, the ultrasound pictures, her placenta, the umbilical cord and limited-edition jars of her amniotic fluid. Shit, if the price is right, she'll even sell her baby! She'll also talk about it day and night. Eva will even launch the Eva Baby Watch Channel. 24-hours of Eva LongWHORIA baby news! Barf.
Here's Eva on the set of DH looking like she just got off the graveyard-shift from her job at Howard Johnson's. There's a little nip action in some of the pics, just so you know. I pity the poor child who has to suck on those selfish things. Yes, Eva has selfish nipples. You can tell.
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Submitted by Mr. President on August 14, 2008 - 12:30am.
Yeah, like his empties would fit on a bike. He's Russia's leading trade partner.
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Lois: Oh, my God! You can only play the piano when you're drunk!
Peter: That's not true! I can also vomit, fall down and make dirty calls to your sister when I'm drunk!
"Sleepfucking ". Way to be on topic there, that's probably the only way Tony Parker can do it to this boring bag of bones.
Was that ESE recyclyng his vodka bottles in the Caption This pic? HAHA. Haven't seen him around in the last couple of days.
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"I think we'll need some more FBI guys."
Submitted by Mr. President on August 14, 2008 - 12:24am.
Rumor has it she moved on to one of the founders of MySpace. Which makes me cancel my account immediately.
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Lois: Oh, my God! You can only play the piano when you're drunk!
Peter: That's not true! I can also vomit, fall down and make dirty calls to your sister when I'm drunk!
Submitted by Mr. President on August 14, 2008 - 12:24am.
If you're on Ambien, try not to empty the fridge during your nap and avoid sleepfucking the neighbor.
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Lois: Oh, my God! You can only play the piano when you're drunk!
Peter: That's not true! I can also vomit, fall down and make dirty calls to your sister when I'm drunk!
Submitted by Team Valtrex on August 13, 2008 - 10:22pm.
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Nope, didn't hear that yet. Madden douche probably started to notice that his dick was disintegrating.
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"I want a butt ugly slut with a bad drankin' problem and jealous old man in jail "- Roger Alan Wade
Paris is breaking up with the Madden douche? Shocker. She seemed like the type to settle down with one guy. Just sleepwalking through, don't mind me.
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"I think we'll need some more FBI guys."
Anybody else hear that Paris and whichever Madden douche she was fucking have broken up? Does this mean he's not getting her image tattooed on his useless hide, and she's free to tattoo her pure, virginal self?
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Lois: Oh, my God! You can only play the piano when you're drunk!
Peter: That's not true! I can also vomit, fall down and make dirty calls to your sister when I'm drunk!
thanks dv8! and good night to you.....
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Just when every day seemed to greet me with a smile; sun spots are fading, now I'm doing time, now I'm doing time.....
-Soundgarden "Fell On Black Days"
Submitted by dv8trix on August 13, 2008 - 10:06pm.
-0-0-0-0-0-0
And Texas is very sorry for Eva... and Dubya... and Jessucka Simpleton... aw fuck a duck we screwed up didn't we?
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"I want a butt ugly slut with a bad drankin' problem and jealous old man in jail "- Roger Alan Wade
Submitted by dv8trix on August 14, 2008 - 12:12am.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
Miss you honey!
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Lois: Oh, my God! You can only play the piano when you're drunk!
Peter: That's not true! I can also vomit, fall down and make dirty calls to your sister when I'm drunk!
...and PSL would look cute in a potato-sack! (TRUE!)
OK, now that Sheeps is safely blamed for my Slider run, I am outtie
(loooooong day...bleh)
Kisses, Besos, smoochie-woochies!
Submitted by parissucksliterally on August 14, 2008 - 12:08am.
TV, you'll buy me that dress? THANKS!
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You might want to get it fumigated before wearing it, it reeks of failing career and desperation to be relevant.
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Lois: Oh, my God! You can only play the piano when you're drunk!
Peter: That's not true! I can also vomit, fall down and make dirty calls to your sister when I'm drunk!
Submitted by dv8trix on August 14, 2008 - 12:06am.
Blame Sheeps is not going to be a grammy nominated song. Sticking with Canada, for now.
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Lois: Oh, my God! You can only play the piano when you're drunk!
Peter: That's not true! I can also vomit, fall down and make dirty calls to your sister when I'm drunk!
TV, you'll buy me that dress? THANKS!
Sheeps won't wear it, he likes Gold Lame Pants from American Apparel.....
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Just when every day seemed to greet me with a smile; sun spots are fading, now I'm doing time, now I'm doing time.....
-Soundgarden "Fell On Black Days"
Blaming Sheeps = better than blaming Canada
I blame Texas for Eva
(and the Taco Bell dog)
Submitted by dv8trix on August 14, 2008 - 12:02am.
I already blame Sheeps for everything, he's evil, doncha know?
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Lois: Oh, my God! You can only play the piano when you're drunk!
Peter: That's not true! I can also vomit, fall down and make dirty calls to your sister when I'm drunk!
TV: LOL! Blame Sheeps & his visions of In 'n' Out burgers dancing thru my head...
...not that this means I condone Chihuahua-Face breeding...
OMG, Dv8trix 2 days in a row!!!! I thought the apocalypse was next week?
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Lois: Oh, my God! You can only play the piano when you're drunk!
Peter: That's not true! I can also vomit, fall down and make dirty calls to your sister when I'm drunk!
sending gift to Tony Parker:
-ball gag
-2 (two) grocery bags
-pr0n
Totally buying PSL that dress. Maybe Sheeps too. (I've been drinking)
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Lois: Oh, my God! You can only play the piano when you're drunk!
Peter: That's not true! I can also vomit, fall down and make dirty calls to your sister when I'm drunk!
Submitted by parissucksliterally on August 13, 2008 - 9:53pm
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I love the fact that I am so selfless as to not have children. Somedays I'll see a baby on TV and I'll think "Aww wouldn't it be nice to have one of those in 15 to 20 years" and other days I think "Fuck that shit I'm never having any"
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"I want a butt ugly slut with a bad drankin' problem and jealous old man in jail "- Roger Alan Wade
She's trying to have a baby? Have they considered fucking? Billions of babies have been conceived that way, it might be worth a shot.
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Lois: Oh, my God! You can only play the piano when you're drunk!
Peter: That's not true! I can also vomit, fall down and make dirty calls to your sister when I'm drunk!
I'd look cute in that dress, I want it!
I am so tired of these egomaniacal people having children- this includes the men who become fucked up Dads. Don't have kids- it should be the most self-less thing you ever do. Someone like Eva, or Mariah, or Madonna- come on.....way too self absorbed and selfish to be a proper parent.
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Just when every day seemed to greet me with a smile; sun spots are fading, now I'm doing time, now I'm doing time.....
-Soundgarden "Fell On Black Days"
I like her flimsy yellow summer dress--on someone else.
Submitted by Team Valtrex on August 13, 2008 - 9:39pm.
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Dude, I never said I wanted to hear this bitch talk
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"I want a butt ugly slut with a bad drankin' problem and jealous old man in jail "- Roger Alan Wade
I give it 1:1 odds that she and Tony Parker are done before 2011
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"I want a butt ugly slut with a bad drankin' problem and jealous old man in jail "- Roger Alan Wade
Submitted by FritoDorito on August 13, 2008 - 11:33pm.
Never heard her talk? Imagine a chihuahua yapping at you. Then imagine that same chihuahua yapping at you after you've stepped on it's nuts. Then imagine it had an intestinal disorder that caused diarrhea to come out it's mouth. That chihuahua is downright kissable compared to Eva Longoria.
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Lois: Oh, my God! You can only play the piano when you're drunk!
Peter: That's not true! I can also vomit, fall down and make dirty calls to your sister when I'm drunk!
She better do something to make Tony Parker keep her around, the looks and personality are less than lacking.
***********************************************
Lois: Oh, my God! You can only play the piano when you're drunk!
Peter: That's not true! I can also vomit, fall down and make dirty calls to your sister when I'm drunk!
Submitted by parissucksliterally on August 13, 2008 - 9:27pm
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hi PSL!
Crap, crap crap crap
We'll never be rid of her. What's funny is I've never even heard this woman talk and she still annoys the shit out of me.
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"I want a butt ugly slut with a bad drankin' problem and jealous old man in jail "- Roger Alan Wade
Hi Frito!
There is no way this bitch is going to stay out of the spotlight- she won't leave. Her pregnancy will be a "big deal", the she'll sell pics of the shower, and the baby....then she'll go on Dancing With The Stars to lose her baby weight.....
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Just when every day seemed to greet me with a smile; sun spots are fading, now I'm doing time, now I'm doing time.....
-Soundgarden "Fell On Black Days"
I wonder if she'll actually have work after they cancel that shit show... she's not much of an in demand actress so hopefully not. Tired of hearing about this selfish slut.
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"I want a butt ugly slut with a bad drankin' problem and jealous old man in jail "- Roger Alan Wade
NO. This woman is so selfish, and I hear bitchy stories about her all the time...poor kid.
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Just when every day seemed to greet me with a smile; sun spots are fading, now I'm doing time, now I'm doing time.....
-Soundgarden "Fell On Black Days"
Her first baby will be exceptionally tall. Her second baby will be exceptionally short. My hubby is 6'4 and I am 5'4. We have a six year old that is currently 4'2 and eats us out of house and home. Just saying...
I can't wait! She's finally going to have chi-chis, and a big sexy belly (which is like a giant, 3rd chi-chi if you think about it).
That's going to be a tall baby!
Submitted by Sock-Monkey on August 13, 2008 - 11:09pm.
Socky!! MUAH!
It's good to see you?! How are you?
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See James Haven in an Oscar winning performance!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2w9cKFiCrSU
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Tony Parker must really love Eva Longoria to stay with her -- she seems so self-centered and annoying. She probably bosses him around, too. He seems much too decent a guy to be with her.
Who knows, though; maybe this whole "I'm an irritating, self-involved delusional, aging hag" thing is just an act and in real life she's a genius or something.
/*\/*\/*\/*\/*\/*\/*\/*\/*\/*\
Boats n' Hoes, gotta have me my boats n' hoes.
www.myspace.com/dreamhypnotique
Ooooo...I hate this bitch. And the hair?! Whorible!
~"~"~"~"~~Mess with me and I'll bite you!.....Monquita Loca~~"~"~"~"~
Submitted by sweetblueberrys... on August 13, 2008 - 10:25pm.
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Yep. I knew I was leaving something out...so true about the abortion issue. I've heard that so many of these so-called celebs (and non-celebs, as well) have had so many abortions (they rely on it as a means of birth control instead of getting on the pill or one of the hundreds of other choices you have) that they will never, ever be able to get pregnant or carry a baby to term. I think a bunch of those bitches went to my high school way back when.
And the way that Hollywood plays "musical beds" with everybody sleeping with everybody...jeez, louise.
When I first saw her on DS I thought she was absolutely stunning, until I saw her smile. She has a smile that looks like a thousand mouse turds. And her husband looks like he is functionally retarded. With her being about 5'2 and him almost 7 feet, it should produce interesting offspring.
Submitted by Euphoria on August 13, 2008 - 10:19pm.
Submitted by blackpearl on August 13, 2008 - 8:14pm.
IMO, some causes are scarring due to PID (that's Pelvic Inflammatory Disease, usually caused by STDs or chronic infections) that has gone for long periods of time untreated and scarred their baby plumbing, some have screwed their body up by dieting, binge/purging, anorexia or drugs and some are waiting too long and their hormone levels have fallen off due to perimenopause.
So true, and abortions.. I can't tell you how many women can't get pregnant because they had 10 abortions and now crying because THIS baby "matters so much." Jesus Marie! LOL! I had one woman who told me her twins were a miracle because a few years after her 2nd abortion, "She tried and tried, and finally, at age 36 , I had my little miracles.." Nothing wrong with abortions though.. the more the merrier.. but don't complain when you can't have kids..
Submitted by blackpearl on August 13, 2008 - 8:14pm.
What's going on none of these celebrities can get pregnant.
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IMO, some causes are scarring due to PID (that's Pelvic Inflammatory Disease, usually caused by STDs or chronic infections) that has gone for long periods of time untreated and scarred their baby plumbing, some have screwed their body up by dieting, binge/purging, anorexia or drugs and some are waiting too long and their hormone levels have fallen off due to perimenopause.
Ya, I saw her on Millionaire personals too. Ya, that is like your dream come true. Some rich gal surfing around a site like that looking for drunk, beer guzzeling beer bellied guys. I am a drunk too, but a respectful one. No one goes to your stupid website, idiot.
She looks beautiful. I love her. I saw her profile on millionaire personals site """"""C e l e b C u p i d.c o m"""""" last week. It is said she is dating young billionaire on that site.
Submitted by Gonnaburn... on August 13, 2008 - 9:58pm.
It's Hayley Williams from Paramore. She does have similar red hair, though.
On topic: Can't wait for that show to be cancelled so we don't have to hear about this bore anymore.
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"I think we'll need some more FBI guys."
Mr. President-
Is that Lea Thompson from Howard the Duck in your avie? :)
Submitted by Sheeps on August 13, 2008 - 10:12pm.
Sheeps!!
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See James Haven in an Oscar winning performance!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2w9cKFiCrSU
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Submitted by LOVE CARROTTOP on August 13, 2008 - 10:07pm.
Nite LCT! MUAH!
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See James Haven in an Oscar winning performance!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2w9cKFiCrSU
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Off Topic: I just watched on Hannity and Combs how Phelps eats 12,000 calories a day. For breakfast alone he eats 3 fried egg sandwiches, biscuits and gravey, grits, and a stack of pancakes. Damn, I'm jealous, I'll take just the biscuits and gravey every morning.
Submitted by madam s. on August 13, 2008 - 6:38pm.
I have no idea, but I have the feeling "desperately trying to get pregnant" sex probably isn't that great.
It certainly cuts down the options.