And They Said It Wouldn't Last
Well, they were right. That's if you believe the Daily Mirror. Some ho told them that John Mayer has du-du-dumped Jennifer Aniston because he's not ready to give up his man whore ways. The two apparently tried to make it work by going on a little relationship hiatus. That didn't work, so they called it a day.
The source said, "John took the decision to end things as he felt he just wasn't ready for the level of commitment that Jennifer deserved. Contrary to reports, Jen didn't want to have kids or marry this year, but she did want to set a timetable for their future together. Initially Jennifer was furious when he told her of his decision but now she's simply sad - not to mention a little heartbroken." Not to mention that he should probably keep his car in the garage for a while. And all his pet bunny rabbits indoors. You know, just in case.
Oh well, it's back to the old maid drawing board for Jenny! The NYDN reports that she's not spending her days cutting out John's face from pictures while screaming the lyrics to "Your Body is a Wonderland." She's apparently already dating someone else. You know, Jenny needs to take a breather and get to know herself. Don't go the Kate Hudson route of flapping her vagina all over town.
Jenny has been to Mayer and Vince Vaughn and anywhere she could run......she's beeeeeen to PITTadise, but she's never been to her. Oh God. I'm sorry for that. That song has been stuck in my head for the past 5 days ever since I watched Priscilla again on TV. I just had to let it out!
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otter pop
Agreed, maybe she doesn't want a long term relationship, she had a husband whom she loved and who in return betrayed her trust and humiliated in front of the whole world. this is kinda tragic when you consider that you only live once, her life has been made a mockery of .
Hi snowpiece!
yes, I'll bet Jen gets great bud......lol
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Just when every day seemed to greet me with a smile; sun spots are fading, now I'm doing time, now I'm doing time.....
-Soundgarden "Fell On Black Days"
It's a no brainer for me. While I do want kids
I do not want 6 (or whatever number they are aiming for) or to have to chase down a man for the thrill of the chase. I don't want to hurt other people. Lie about my good deeds and be a walking contradiction that is pretty much a joke to most people.
Jen is just fine. If she wants a kids maybe she can get some pointers from AJ on how to purchase.
Til then she is living a good life.
Loons just hate her for some unknown reason. She is not calling for Brad back. Unlike others she left his "union" alone and chose to find someone single.
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1172613656
I don't like Jen, but I bet she gets good weed. ;P
****************************1/20/09
"I'll give you a Shiloh for a Coca-Cola!"
Desperation is not an attractive quality in ANYONE. Jen A. needs to just learn to "be." I don't think she can do that...she defines who she is by the man she's with and that is what makes her so unattractive.
Silly, vapid woman. So focused on maintaining or improving her looks. Inside she's a bottomless pit of need.
UKer- This post isn't about Angelina. And since you profess to be so knowledgeable about her private life I have to ask you. Have you forgotten about Marianne Pearl - her best friend? Or did you just decide it's better to post something completely ignorant?
couche - Angelina got dumped by Billy Bob...that's nothing to be proud of. She was all poor me, regretting that awful tat she got.
People choose not to have kids. I think it's a responsible decision for some. Let's face it would have been a good idea for Britney.
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1172613656
Multi-millionaire, single, thin, attractive...yeah, sounds like an old maid to me.
sorry but angie jo is a cock-sucking cunt who can't act to save her life.
The woman doesn't have ONE single girlfriend, not ONE.
I know who I'd rather be friends with and it ain't holie.
I liked her better when she stayed out of the limelight, plus being rich, single and a having a rocking bod doesn't sound depressing at all.
I'd still trade places with Aniston in a SECOND.
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When I was feeding on the need for you know me, devastated at the rate you fell below me;
what wasted unconditional love, on somebody,
who doesn't believe in the stuff......
- Fiona Apple "Oh Well"
I think the only person who didn't see that coming was Jennifer.
Thanks anonfckr for the clarificatia.
We have discovered that most sizemeat rumors are nothing more than that - rumors!
she can't catch a break.
feel bad for her.
Are we all getting along today????? ;-P
xo
Kevin Clamato Juice (Click it, bitches! My official myspace)
Bradi,
I put a metal colander on my head before I typed that...lol.
And I said Brad is King! And the Gold Standard!
I am sure Jennifer is extremely upset at this turn of events. She is sitting in a darkened room, deep in her house, sobbing uncontrollably, grabbing tissues by the handful and wondering why her taste in men is so bad.
Waffle?
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"Practically" is not an option when it comes to virginity.
Submitted by Angelina Jolie-Pitt on August 13, 2008 - 9:07pm.
Call Ross Bitch! ha ha ha ha!!!!!!
lmao!!! hoo haa David Arquette is going to be pissed.
****************************1/20/09
"I'll give you a Shiloh for a Coca-Cola!"
Great, here come the Weekly Tabloids, with "Poor Jen" all over the covers.....she must be praying Jessica Simpson gets dumped, so the tabloids will turn to her....
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When I was feeding on the need for you know me, devastated at the rate you fell below me;
what wasted unconditional love, on somebody,
who doesn't believe in the stuff......
- Fiona Apple "Oh Well"
Homegirl does need to get to know herself. I mean, Angelina may be a homewrecker but she has a decent number of successful (note that I say successful and not necessarily "good") movies under her belt and she's really involved with saving the world and all that good crap. Also, she was single and one day was just like "hey, I want a kid, I'd be a good mom" and boom! Maddox. That shows a lot of self-confidence (although it may be ill-begotten or misplaced).
I feel bad for Jennifer if this is true, but I'm so sick of seeing her and John Mayer together that I really just don't give a shit anymore. If she made one good movie (just one! -- and no, Office Space does NOT count!) I would respect her. Until then I just find her pathetic.
Cooch.Roue
Angelina doesn't need to be photographed with her man every day to feel like she's leading a worthwhile existence.
Ummm, have you been living under a rock or what? Or maybe you learned the art of contradiction from Santa Angelina?
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I'm your huckleberry...BITCH!!
ill brb im going to go scream at the ocean!
My pain, my pleasure, my heart, my world.
Let the beach guitar bonfires commence!!
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♥♥ Yah, iz mah birfday beeeshes!!! ♥♥
Oh tanks Couche!
Thats nice of you because i love gravy.
I need gravy in my life every day.
I love cock and a mo like me cant go eating gravy like i do if i think it has just been near a vagengine!
My pain, my pleasure, my heart, my world.
Joe,
"downgrade her expectations"? How much lower can you get than Douche-bag Maher?
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You can put a cat in an oven, but that don't make it a biscuit!
Sorry, Jen. He is my piece of manmeat.
xo
Kevin Clamato Juice (Click it, bitches! My official myspace)
She is clearly just doing this to get Angelina's attention. Poor Jennifer, still stuck in 2004. Brad divorced you years ago honey, GET OVER IT. Angelina doesn't need to be photographed with her man every day to feel like she's leading a worthwhile existence.
~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~
I’m like an American princess. - Paris Hilton
I have things no heiress has. I've done it all on my own. Like a hustler. - Paris Hilton
BUURP - did you get lost on your way to JJ???
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1172613656
DebFrmHell on August 13, 2008 - 10:12am.
Well, she was married to the King of All Cheating Douches. When you have that kind of a gold standards, no other douches can match....
*pouts*
Youknowwho FORCED him to cheat!!!
*looks around for tinfoil hatted freaks*
/\
Madolyn: What do you expect coming in here?
Billy Costigan: I have to come here.
Madolyn: I know you have to come here, but now that you're here, what do you want?
Billy Costigan: You want the truth? Valium.
Ahhh, I adore mornings @ Dlisted.
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Sorrow is knowledge, those that know the most must mourn the deepest, the tree of knowledge is not the tree of life. -- Lord Byron
If this is true, then I believe that seeing the magazine covers with weddings and babies and Jennifer's photo gave John the heebie-jeebies and he flew the coop!!!
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"Money is the magic wand that turns many a frog into a prince" - ChubbyWubby
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Your Mom Ate th...
Submitted by BUUURP on August 13, 2008 - 9:08am.
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Like, totally for realz! She should be more honest like Angie!
Go JJ!!!!
Sing it sista!! You nailed it! And so we begin....
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I'm your huckleberry...BITCH!!
Well, she was married to the King of All Cheating Douches. When you have that kind of a gold standards, no other douches can match....
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"Practically" is not an option when it comes to virginity.
*shaking fist at OK magazine*
LIE-TELLERS! That romance was supposed to LAST!
DAMMIT! What do I have to believe in now?!
.•´¯`•-><-•´¯`•..•´¯`•-><-•´¯`•..•´¯`•->
"Asshole . . . get that down or else you better pawn your cat because you'll need the money!" Tricia Walsh-Smith: Patroness of Angry Divorcés
Submitted by Mrs Patrick Campbell on August 13, 2008 - 10:10am.
I doubt that. We've seen him in a Borat suit and it wasn't impressive.
Submitted by BUUURP on August 13, 2008 - 9:08am.
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Like, totally for realz! She should be more honest like Angie!
Go JJ!!!!
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Sorrow is knowledge, those that know the most must mourn the deepest, the tree of knowledge is not the tree of life. -- Lord Byron
I don't get what these hot women find in this asswipe either. I wouldnt hit him with a stick. He has a massive head, face of a 7 year old kid, and no sex appeal whatsoever plus he just might be the biggest loser in Hollywood
John is rumored to be horse-hung, yet we have seen no verificatia of this.
Are there nude photos?
Discuss!
damn it i dont want to hear the word cunt or gravy again man. I mean yay that was funt but you mother fuckers ruined a perfectly good roast beef moment for me!
My pain, my pleasure, my heart, my world.
One more pretend relationship over. Now she'll sit at home and cry pretend tears until her pubicist can find another pretend man for her.
Jen, just a thought . . . how about telling the truth for awhile? I mean, faking things doesn't seem to be working out that well for you. Maybe honesty would. Just a thought.
Keep that big chin up anyway!
1. Where is "Katie's fugly jeans of the day" post?
2. Did we get any further James Haven in "Who is Cunt.Gravy" topic?
*runs*
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Shoes are the exclamation point at the end of the fashion statement.
-Laurie Schecter
I never understood anyones fascination with him. He just looks like any other guy on the street - nothing special. Maybe he's hung like a horse??
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I'm your huckleberry...BITCH!!
Call Ross Bitch! ha ha ha ha!!!!!!
My pain, my pleasure, my heart, my world.
Why would you be with someone who slept in Jess Simpsons poo???
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1172613656
NOT IMPRESSED on August 13, 2008 - 10:04am.
Um, you just don't date John Mayer and expect to be the one to tame him. WAAAAY too many women make that mistake.
- And yet, John Mayer favors that type of woman.
/\
Madolyn: What do you expect coming in here?
Billy Costigan: I have to come here.
Madolyn: I know you have to come here, but now that you're here, what do you want?
Billy Costigan: You want the truth? Valium.
She knew as well as everyone else that he'd end up dumping her. C'mon--we all know she reads the gossip rags.
Mayer needs to finally hook up with Sienna Miller. Those two go together like herpes and Wonky McValtrex.
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Sorrow is knowledge, those that know the most must mourn the deepest, the tree of knowledge is not the tree of life. -- Lord Byron
Hey Pimpcessa!
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1172613656
Um, you just don't date John Mayer and expect to be the one to tame him. WAAAAY too many women make that mistake.
I highly doubt that he dumped her. He's a shameless attention hungry douchebag who got the most attention he could ever hope for by dating her. He is addicted to that paparazzi stank he could never dump her.
Aww, that sucks... I guess. What the hell did she really expect when she set her sights on this foolio?? I hope she had fun while it lasted.
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"Do you remember a time when women couldn't vote, and certain folk weren't allowed on golf courses? Petridge Farm remembers."
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