Don't Tell Jessica Simpson About This
It's a good thing Jessica Simpson can't read, because this tidbit of information might get her vagina lips in a twist.
In September's Allure (via UsWeekly), Carrie Underwears claims Tony Romo stills calls her from time to time. She said, "We were both small-town people doing very big things, and we relied on each other, dealing with fame. I don't know. The phone will ring and it'll be him, and I'll maybe not answer."
What a country cunt! I think I'm in love. But this little passive-aggressive game these two twats are playing with each other is getting old. Jess wears a "Real Girls Eat Meat" t-shirt and Carrie drops these little jabs here and there. These bitches need to stop hiding and come out fighting. My pennies are on Jessica. Her frog mouth could swallow Carrie whole.
Here's Jessica and my girl crush, Ken Paves, out last night.
Wenn
• 
Did you notice her claws don't fit in her shoes?
Get a bigger size Jess!
"It's a good thing Jessica Simpson can't read..."
I just spit out my coffee.
You should've put this in Photoshop Awards, I couldn't even tell that was Carrie Underwood.
She looks beautiful. I love her. I saw her profile on millionaire personals site """"""C e l e b C u p i d.c o m"""""" last week. It is said she is dating young billionaire on that site.
quadrangles
And Jessucka's shoes are still a size too small. Shit, doesn't it hurt to walk?
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
"I want a butt ugly slut with a bad drankin' problem and jealous old man in jail "- Roger Alan Wade
The girl on this cover could be any of a number of celebrity skanks:
Asslee Simpson
Hilary Duff
Ashley Jizzdale
Seriously. If someone had told me it was one of the other sluts, I would have believed it.
'Heaux Confessionals'
www.myspace.com/triston
Love Carrie. The rest of the shoot is much better than th cover.
~♥~"Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift. That is why they call it a present.” – Eleanor Roosevelt~♥~
*yawn* That tv karaoke contest winner again who lures the more stupid people into thinking she'd be an actual singer/musician.
Then again, "country" is the korean word for "music from and for the retarded", she may have a shot with that target audience buying that she'd be a musician.
uh does jessica simpson have ANY other friends other than her fricking hairdresser ken paves? jesus.
"yeah. like i'm gonna have anal sex and sit on a plane for 6 HOURS!" - joel mchale<3
I can't even muster up enough passion to say I dislike either one of these wet vaginas.
<3 That ain't ranch dressing on your salad...
Allure photoshops all the women on their covers till they look like Madonna circa 1996!
Your face!
Dullsville. Carrie should move on already.
Your face!
Shit. Which one is even which? No, really, I can't even fucking tell.
<3 That ain't ranch dressing on your salad...
blah, these bitches need some real dick and by that i mean a dildo, cuz' damn how even more unlucky can they get?..really.
----------------------------------------------
P.H.: 'Dis is Egyptian Cotton, mudday-fuk... 2-20 thread. 'Dis is half your shitty-ass paycheck.
J.S.: You wouldn't know Egyptian cotton if Pharaoh himself gave it to you, you knock-off wearing motherfucker
I saw Jessica's country video on CMT. Her nose is really small and she moves around uncomfortably but at least she doesn't make those silly faces anymore
Oh, I love the sideways knife twist! Oh yeah, your boyfriend still calls me, uh-huh, yeah. Whatchu gonna do? I'm officially on Team Carrie. I think she could kick Jess's ass.
___________________________________________________________________
On today's episode of Scooby Doo, "A Medium Is Rare," Phyllis Diller and the gang attend a seance at Magic Mansion
I like Carrie. There's been some major photoshop done on that picture, but she's pretty - a lot better looking than Tranny Simpson. And more talented.
************************************
"Ed Westwick is not gay - he's British!"
Submitted by Lala11_7 on August 12, 2008 - 9:19pm.
It's Carrie Underwood, or as MK calls her, Carrie Underwear.
One the magazine cover, she vaguely resembles Famke Jansen.
All jokes aside...
WHO THE FUCK IS THAT ON THE MAGAZINE COVER????
Did Jessucka get her lips done again? They look suspiciously... square. Much like her jaw.
What the hell does she carry around in that bag, a bowling ball?
A good jello wrestling match would help both their careers and would be pay-per-view gold.
**********************
"I think we'll need some more FBI guys."
I could give two shits about these generic blonde hos. Ken Paves, on the other hand, needs to something about his hurrrrrrr. It looks like a bad box dye-job. Feria gone wrong...
Why does she have Uma Thurman's nose in this picture? And why are they fighting over Tony Romo? He ALWAYS has that smug look on his face, I want to just walk up to him and kick him in the nuts. Well, he looks pretty tall, so I'd probably be punching him in the nuts... but yeah, he seems like a douche and they are both older than me, they shouldn't be pulling this middle school shit.
Cariie would win for sure. Jessica would just walk up with some dumb strut daddy taught her and then burst into tears and ask if she's adorable.
Submitted by Sheeps on August 12, 2008 - 6:43pm.
Submitted by Mrs.Kravitz on August 12, 2008 - 3:31pm.
Sodomy is most commonly legally defined as any contact between the genitals of one person, and the mouth or anus of another.
hahahahaha. Someone--a cop or something--accused me of "bestiality." What the heck is THAT?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
@Sheeps,
But did they do a show and tell? or did you just beet at them...
@Mrs. K,
You just described Angelina Jolie!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Practically" is not an option when it comes to virginity.
Submitted by Sheeps on August 12, 2008 - 4:43pm.
Doing the naughty with sheep ... or any other non-human animal.
************************************************
I didn’t say that it was your fault – I said that I was going to blame you.
************************************************
Submitted by Dry Tears on August 12, 2008 - 7:17pm.
...I spawned a new form of herpes that basically jumps off your lips to the next host!
==============================================
Ewwww...Thats just nasty
********************************************
love me some Mayer....so what!!!its complicated
hahahahaha. Someone--a cop or something--accused me of "bestiality." What the heck is THAT?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In case you are NOT kidding, I'll bite...it's sex with an animal (beast). And I thought sodomy only involved the anus, because I've heard on cop shows of someone being arrested for rape AND sodomy, which is anal rape.
Submitted by Mrs.Kravitz on August 12, 2008 - 3:31pm.
Sodomy is most commonly legally defined as any contact between the genitals of one person, and the mouth or anus of another.
hahahahaha. Someone--a cop or something--accused me of "bestiality." What the heck is THAT?
Submitted by snowpiece on August 12, 2008 - 6:17pm
Agreed; she has a surprisingly wide nose...
**********************************************
"Someday we'll all be gone but lullabies go on and on...they never die, that's how you and I will be..." -Billy Joel
According to another celebsite, occasionally advertised here, Jessica and Tony told his parents that she was pregnant and they went totally ballistic! She supposedly took a home preggers test that came out positive. She now claims that the she's not preggers.
************************************************
I didn’t say that it was your fault – I said that I was going to blame you.
************************************************
I don't know which one of these two would win in a fight but I am sure someone would pay to see this.
G.L.O.W.!
'Heaux Confessionals'
www.myspace.com/triston
Submitted by Dry Tears on August 12, 2008 - 7:17pm.
LOL!
Submitted by Euphoria on August 12, 2008 - 7:14pm.
Those passive-aggressive bitches are the ones who will fuck you up...they are the ones to really be afraid of...trust!
-----------------------
What chu talkin bout?
(*)(*) (*)(*) (*)(*) (*)(*) (*)(*) (*)(*) (*)(*)
If anyone gives any personal info about me to anyone else using this platform, I will sue the hell outta you.
banjjo THANK YOU I was just about to say she looks like she got her "deviated septum fixed"
****************************1/20/09
"I'll give you a Shiloh for a Coca-Cola!"
This also needs a photoshop award. The nose on this Carrie looks way different than her regular nose.
Those passive-aggressive bitches are the ones who will fuck you up...they are the ones to really be afraid of...trust!
She looks SO beautiful. I saw her personals ID on wealthy men for beautiful women site """"""C e l e b C u p i d.c o m"""" last week. It is said she is dating young billlionaire on that site. Is she single now?
Ok. Jessica threw down first with the meat t-shirt. Carrie just ripped her a new one which I love. You know Romo is going to catch hell over this which I love even better.
I met Carrie U a little over a year ago. A little shy but actually very sweet and friendly.
AND, I don't blame her for not answering. He was with her at the Country Awards Show, and he sees Jessica in the crowd and e-mails her father the next day to set up a date. I hope Chestica mops the floor with him. He's a classless asshole.
BITCH FIGHT!
HA! Thousands?!
Chump! Ive given hundreds of thousands...I spawned a new form of herpes that basically jumps off your lips to the next host!
So top that!
************
OnT: Carrie underwood seems just like the kinda wide treadless pussy cunt that I hate!
(*)(*) (*)(*) (*)(*) (*)(*) (*)(*) (*)(*) (*)(*)
If anyone gives any personal info about me to anyone else using this platform, I will sue the hell outta you.
Submitted by joe shmoe on August 12, 2008 - 6:41pm
Thanks! Yes, it's her and her banana skirt. Sorry for the late response.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Now I've seen a lot of bullshit... angel dust, switchblades, sexually perverse photography involving tennis rackets...
Submitted by shoe addict on August 12, 2008 - 11:40pm
Bahahaha! Scary stuff. Its true, men do go a bit loopy. Same goes for damn good ugly bumping!
Carrie could take Messica in a fight, no problem!
********
Gimme some sugar!
I would let kevin use me to exhibit his bj skills but i don't have a penis....I have a pagina
********************************************
love me some Mayer....so what!!!its complicated
Submitted by shoe addict on August 12, 2008 - 3:45pm.
I was with the in-laws all week and they are baseball fanatics!!!!!!
I must admit it was fun to see Albert Pujols hit a grand slam.
The girl in the anti-Cubs T-shirt was ecstatic. She wanted to high-five me. I declined.
I don't like to touch strangers.
Oohh me smells a duel in the parking lot of IHOP. *He calls but sometimes I don't answer*...mon Dieu that's the equivalent of throwing down the glove. My money's on Tony, who'll saunter off to find another cardboard cut-out blonde, while these two bitch slap each other.
***********
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2x19xYUEPd0&feature=related
Submitted by Mrs.Kravitz on August 12, 2008 - 6:37pm.
Ok thats actually funny, I'll call off the squad.
Background: The cubs are so popular that a lot of opposing teams sell anti-cubs t-shirts. the chicago white sox have the most creative ones cuz they r our biggest HATERS
********************************************
love me some Mayer....so what!!!its complicated