Monday, August 11th 2008
Through The Cheetos
Lynne Spears has made it "Through the Storm" thanks to a little help from the millions of dollars she's received from whoring out her kids. Lynne has put her parenting tips into a little book which is due out next week. Whoever buys this book should automatically get a visit from Child Protective Services. Taking parenting advice from Lynne Spears is like....well....like taking parenting advice from Lynne Spears. White Oprah should have been Lynne's co-author.
And that cover looks like a still from a Massengill commercial from the 80s. I used to be obsessed with those commercials when I was little. "I have to ask you something really personal...."
VIA Allie Is Wired
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Submitted by DR.FUNK on August 11, 2008 - 10:42am.
What a frightening commentary on this country it would be if this book goes best-seller.
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Well, it's not as if there's much to hide, anymore. I mean, look at who we've got leading the country. The man couldn't manage a fart in a baked beans contest.
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Sorrow is knowledge, those that know the most must mourn the deepest, the tree of knowledge is not the tree of life. -- Lord Byron
no more checks to cash, so Lynns going to be a great author.LOL
what kind of name is Massengill anyway???it should be SWWOOOSH!!
KD - No way the "Iknew I forgot to ask my mom something" comment had me roling.
Submitted by DR.FUNK on August 11, 2008 - 10:32am.
"Taking parenting advice from Lynne Spears is like....well....like"
Taking animal rights tips from Sharon Stone;
Taking forgiveness tips from Whori Spelling;
Taking tips on how to be classy from Wonky McValtrex;
Taking tips on father/daughter relations from Angie Jo;
Taking tips on avoiding incest from Angie Jo ...
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"I'm intellectual & stuff." "You're flunking English. That's your mother tongue & stuff."
http://www.myspace.com/dramaqueen365247
STOP MAKING ME LAUGH! I have a damn chest cold and I am going into seizures.
financial advice from Ed McMahon....I am going to pee
Through the Parent Pimp: Whoring your children out so you won’t have to work.
Through the Beef Curtains: How underwear changed our lives.
If White Oprah had a book club this would get chosen.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
My lyrics are sometimes sexist
But bitches oughta know
I’m trying to correct this.
Submitted by Two Drink Min on August 11, 2008 - 10:31am.
KD and Your Mom Ate the...
Thanks for the laughs...I am dying over here
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lol...no problem, Two Drink.
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Ditto :) But please don't die. I would feel a little guilty. Just a little.
What a frightening commentary on this country it would be if this book goes best-seller.
Submitted by Always Sunny on August 11, 2008 - 10:38am.
It's like asking Lindsay to help you win the Spelling Bee
It's Like Trump giving Britney hair-style tips
It's like Sherry Shepard teaching 7th grade geography class
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It's like Joyce McKinney donating $50,000 to the ASPCA!
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Sorrow is knowledge, those that know the most must mourn the deepest, the tree of knowledge is not the tree of life. -- Lord Byron
You totally know some moms out there will buy this as "How To Make My Kid Famous" manual.
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Madolyn: What do you expect coming in here?
Billy Costigan: I have to come here.
Madolyn: I know you have to come here, but now that you're here, what do you want?
Billy Costigan: You want the truth? Valium.
is there a chapter in this book about how giving blow jobs is better then getting knocked up?
My pain, my pleasure, my heart, my world.
She looks beautiful. I love her. I saw her profile on millionaire personals site """"""C e l e b C u p i d.c o m"""""" last week. It is said she is dating young billionaire on that site.
It's like asking Lindsay to help you win the Spelling Bee
It's Like Trump giving Britney hair-style tips
It's like Sherry Shepard teaching 7th grade geography class
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Through the Scorn: How to Dole out Laughable Advice
Through the Stillborn: Raising Three Abortions who Lived
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A dress makes no sense unless it inspires men to take it off of you.
~Francoise Sagan~
Submitted by Two Drink Min on August 11, 2008 - 10:31am.
KD and Your Mom Ate the...
Thanks for the laughs...I am dying over here
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lol...no problem, Two Drink.
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Sorrow is knowledge, those that know the most must mourn the deepest, the tree of knowledge is not the tree of life. -- Lord Byron
Through The Holding Your Child Hostage in a Bathroom
Through the Custody Battle
Through the Conservatorship
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Julie: He said that he loved me.
Helen: Men say that. They all say that. Then they cum.
- "Parenthood" (1989)
Through the Boo-Boos
Through the Period Panties
Through the Psych-Ward
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"Hell ain't SHIT!" Stinkmeaner from "The Boondocks"
Through the Svengali and Landing Strip: Defending your territory and preventing future abandon beybeys.
☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺
Girls with large kolaches shouldn't be talking all Slitty! ~Sluttsville
Latin Lingo Baby
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NQhXFbuUmpM
I broke a rib laughing @ the douche commercial.
"Taking parenting advice from Lynne Spears is like....well....like"
-Taking dog raising tips from MICHAEL VICK
-Taking financial advice from ED McMAHON
-Takng style tips from AMY WINEHOUSE
I got a million of 'em! Stop me before I joke again!!!
KD and Your Mom Ate the...
Thanks for the laughs...I am dying over here
I think "To the bank" would be a more appropriate title. And the subtitle would be "What selling my kids to the American public has taught me about motherhood".
Should be titled "How To Screw Your Kids Up & Get Them Preggers By 17", by Lynn Spears.
♫♫♫♫♫☮☮☮☮☮♫♫♫♫♫☮☮☮☮☮♫♫♫♫♫☮☮☮☮☮♫♫♫♫♫☮☮☮☮☮♫♫♫♫♫
When all else fails, Eat It, Lick It, Snort It, Fuck It!
It is offensive how quickly some women will tear another woman down, especially a hero like Lynn Spears. She has had to cope with life in "a tabloid world," according to her words. That must be so hard! I admire her strength and resilience, and one day hope to be as fantastic a mother as she. God bless you, Lynn, for remaining so strong and grounded. Hahahahahahahahaha
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“I like it, ... but it's yellow, and I'm like, I didn't want yellow for my engagement ring.” - Paris Hilton
“What's a soup kitchen?” - Paris Hilton
Through the White Trash
Though the Ratted Weaves
Through Why the Fuck aren't my kids using Birth Control
kdracofan on August 11, 2008 - 11:27am
Can you tell I'm kinda hungry?
That's how I read it though at first.
*smooch*
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Madolyn: What do you expect coming in here?
Billy Costigan: I have to come here.
Madolyn: I know you have to come here, but now that you're here, what do you want?
Billy Costigan: You want the truth? Valium.
Bitch thinks she's Barry fucking Manilow.
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Sorrow is knowledge, those that know the most must mourn the deepest, the tree of knowledge is not the tree of life. -- Lord Byron
It's sad that she has to put Britney and Jamie Lynn's names on the front to sell this piece of shit.
I KNEW I forgot to ask my mom something last time I saw her.
Lorilee ? cracker? lol
Submitted by Sluttsville on August 11, 2008 - 11:19am.
Through the Porn: Whoring out my Underage Children
Through the Torn Gina Lips of Britney: Why I forced her to Have a C-section
Through the Weave: You Can't Comb Britney
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A dress makes no sense unless it inspires men to take it off of you.
~Francoise Sagan~
I cannot believe how douchey that commercial is (no pun intended)
* * * * I HEART CAVEMEN * * * *
I love how in every Brit documentary on TV mentions how poor their family was until Britney was able to make money as a teen and as an "actress" on Broadway. You can see the resentment in Lynne's eyes when Britney told her she wanted to take a break.
*Sorry... errors. Super tired today.*
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I am Mexican and and I do think Michael Bay's "Transformers" is racist.
Through the Head Shaving
Through the Teen Pregnancy
Through the Threesome with Paris and Lindsay
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Julie: He said that he loved me.
Helen: Men say that. They all say that. Then they cum.
- "Parenthood" (1989)
Do you believe they destroy trees for this garbage? I wouldn't give this shit to my guinea pig as nesting material.
~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.
Surfing the apocalypse.
"Taking parenting advice from Lynne Spears is like....well....like"
...letting Star Jones be your matchmaker?
...letting Wino be your AA sponsor?
...letting Parasite be your life coach?
I could go on all day! LMAO!
Through the Times That You Think White Oprah Lucked out with the Better Kid.
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She's not kidding. I'm gonna whip ya silly and I'm gonna fuck ya stupid.
Sluttsville>
Through a Bag of Cheetos in 30 Seconds
Through a Windshield w. an Umbrella
CG> Errrrr. That's b/c she's a Stage Mom. She didn't "raise" celebrities. She pushed her *children* to be famous. Gross.
Also, you're wrong. We've seen Britney's cat. Possibly several times. I got hysterical blindness after the first time, so I have no idea about subsequent sightings.
Through The Snatch Shots
Through The Weaves
Through The Body Sprays and Green Beans
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Madolyn: What do you expect coming in here?
Billy Costigan: I have to come here.
Madolyn: I know you have to come here, but now that you're here, what do you want?
Billy Costigan: You want the truth? Valium.
Why is Anna Wintour on the cover?
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Did I leave the gas on? No! No, I'm a fuckin' squirrel!
Submitted by Chris Eccleston... on August 11, 2008 - 7:18am.
I have never douched in my life. Fucked some douchebags, though. Kind of the same thing.
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too funny
get your own life perfect......then come talk to me!!!!!! ~~Michelle Aline~~
I wouldn't accept potty training tips FOR MY DOG feom this woman.
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I doubt she'll point out the huge problems that come with making your child(ren) the breadwinner(s) of the family.
Through the Douchbags
Through the Frapp Bloat
Through the Piss Tests
☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺
Girls with large kolaches shouldn't be talking all Slitty! ~Sluttsville
Latin Lingo Baby
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NQhXFbuUmpM
Co author Lorilee Craker?
Lorilee Cracker.
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Madolyn: What do you expect coming in here?
Billy Costigan: I have to come here.
Madolyn: I know you have to come here, but now that you're here, what do you want?
Billy Costigan: You want the truth? Valium.
through the boot moves.
through the toilet times.
through my witch eyes.
through my sock slots.
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"what're you still doing here? Didn't I tell you to go home and fuck your mother?"
Is it published by Thomas Nelson? Those sell outs. I bet they are counting on the sales of this book to keep them afloat for another 3 years.
Slutts:
Through The Mental Ward
Through the Gas Station Bathrooms Barefoot
Through the Carls' Jr Drive Thru
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Julie: He said that he loved me.
Helen: Men say that. They all say that. Then they cum.
- "Parenthood" (1989)
Mother of Jamie Lynn, Bryan, and Britney....I had no idea that there was another Spears' child. I guess in that family if you can't bankroll mom and dad, you get no cred.
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She's not kidding. I'm gonna whip ya silly and I'm gonna fuck ya stupid.
she wrote her book with a bitch named Lorelle Cracker?
crackers!
My pain, my pleasure, my heart, my world.
MK, I have to ask you something real personal...