Congratulations Girlfriend!
Look outside your window! There's probably a beautiful rainbow in the sky! If you look closer, you'll see glittery unicorns jumping through it. What's the occasion? They are celebrating the birth of Clay Gayken's baby!!! Yes, the ginger gayelle with a penis is a mama je'e!
In case you blocked out the gory details, Clay Gayken's happy spermies (shudder) were used to knock up his best friend, 50-year-old Jaymes Foster. Jaymes is a chick.
Gayken's mommy confirmed the birth to WRAL.com. Jaymes and Gayken welcomed a baby boy at around 8:08 this morning in North Carolina. Okay, this is a sign of the apocalypse. Born on 8/08/08 at 8:08?!
They have named him Parker Foster Gayken. I mean, Aiken. He weighed in at 6 pounds 2 ounces. 6 + 2 = 8!!!! TAKE SHELTER!
When the baby came out and screamed "Ooooh! Slap me on the ass and call me Mary!", everyone knew he was Gayken's.
Gayken's mommy said that Clay is "smiling from ear-to-ear." That's because he's thinking of all the "It's a boy" cigars he's going to get from his friends. And by "cigars" I mean dicks.
Congrats to Gayken! He's going to make the sexiest lezzie mommy ever! By the way, I think the vaginas of hundreds of Claymates just exploded in their mom jeans. Clean up on aisle BARF!
Thanks Ma Nom
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Is that his buttsecks face?
Sorry if I may have repeated anyone, but it really does look like he is getting surprise buttsecks here.
Imagine how funny it would be if his baby was born with that face permanently.
So whose cock did you have to suck for that contract, sweetheart?
Ick. Gaykin is so going the Michael Jackson route.
My husband saw that photo and said that Clay needs to have the words, "Insert here," tattooed on his chin with an arrow pointing up.
A little redneck baby beat Clay baby's 8 record...
FERGUS FALLS, Minn. (AP) - Hailey Jo Hauer was born on the eighth day of the eighth month in 2008 at 8:08 a.m. So it wouldn't make sense for her to weigh anything other than 8 pounds, 8 ounces.
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"...We don't exist for the beautiful people of the world...We're there for the oddball, the rebel, the outcast, the geek!"
Clay must've had a C-Section..totally forgot he was knocked up...he hid it well besides the fat head
@ Sayonara
Sorry about your din-din, but you're lucky that's all you lost. I mean, just think of any other women who fucked him. They've either killed themselves or become lesbians by now. I know I would.
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Potato Wave!
Submitted by WrathOGrapes on August 8, 2008 - 6:07pm.
Ick! Imagine that perched on top of you, moaning and groaning, during the 10 seconds {if that} of fucking.
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Thanks for the visual... I lost my dinner even though I haven't eaten it yet.
"Now his failure is complete"... Darth Vader
LOL! Great post MK!
Ick! Imagine that perched on top of you, moaning and groaning, during the 10 seconds {if that} of fucking.
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Potato Wave!
Here's a glimpse at Clay's reality show set 16 years from now starring himself and his son...enjoy!
http://www.comedy.com/video/growing-up-aiken
I don't like the three last name thing. I can understand Foster, because of the baby mama, but Parker is his mother & brother's last name, so that's a little weird.
Yes, I know a little too much about Clay - I admit, I like the guy, just don't call me a Claymate - I am not like those crazies. I think he'll make a good father, so Congrats.
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"...We don't exist for the beautiful people of the world...We're there for the oddball, the rebel, the outcast, the geek!"
HaHa!!
There should have been a hand -- umm, make that a round of applause -- for the turkey-baster as well.
I don't really give a rats behind about Clay Aiken's kid, but I had to check the comments to make sure nobody was hating on the baby's name. My son is named Parker, so obviously I like the name, but it does sound weird with Foster. I just hope this doesn't cause there to be a sudden influx in babies named Parker.
And he thinks this will dispel the gay rumors?!
'Heaux Confessionals'
www.myspace.com/triston
And still the "Claymates" insist this guy doesn't bat for the other team.
Ok.
Congrats on little Trapper Keeper Aiken!
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"What? Salma was supposed to stuff her melonitas into a million-dollar wedding dress and marry that rich bitch without a prenup." - MK 07/18/08
Submitted by fuzzyslippers on August 8, 2008 - 1:32pm.
"Bong shelter" you say...
I'm sorry that I've offended you!!!! Accept this twinkie as a peace offering, give me a hit of that shit, and we're square!!! Let's celebrate the apocalypse together!!! :D
Fuzzy, alllllllllllrighty then! It's ON! Hey, between the bong hits and twinkie munchies we are gonna have the funnest apocalypse party EVVA! (-and, no I wasn't offended in the least, silly... *pinch*)! Honestly though...if we keep mentioning bong hits and twinkies you're going to have to dig a bigger hole and I'm gonna have to make a bigger bong shelter so shhhhhhhh.
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"I'd rather be feared than loved because at least fear warns you but love? -Love blinds you before you have a chance to even see it coming."
Submitted by . on August 8, 2008 - 11:11am.
"Bong shelter" you say...
I'm sorry that I've offended you!!!! Accept this twinkie as a peace offering, give me a hit of that shit, and we're square!!! Let's celebrate the apocalypse together!!! :D
My newest celebrity obsession: Eric Bana.
aargghhh!! apocalypse indeed! LMAO- now excuse me while i find the nearest fall out shelter..
ROFL!!!
One of the FUNNIEST entries you've written, MK. Holy hell...
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I'm covered in BEEEEES!
Submitted by fuzzyslippers on August 8, 2008 - 1:07pm.
The apocalypse is near. I'm going to dig a hole in my backyard and wait it out whilst surviving on cheetos and twinkies.
AND NONE OF YOU SLUTS ARE INVITED SO FUCK OFF!! XD
Golly Gee, fuzzy. I go and build a bong shelter and I'm not invited to your hole in the ground for tea and crumpets? Gee! Where'd you learn your manners? Hmm? ;p
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"I'd rather be feared than loved because at least fear warns you but love? -Love blinds you before you have a chance to even see it coming."
The apocalypse is near. I'm going to dig a hole in my backyard and wait it out whilst surviving on cheetos and twinkies.
AND NONE OF YOU SLUTS ARE INVITED SO FUCK OFF!! XD
My newest celebrity obsession: Eric Bana.
The picture of Gayken's "O" face is scaring me half to death. (I think there was a secret camera in the restroom when he was whacking off into a cup - for the turkey basting - with the picture of Tommy Girl.) Congrats, I guess.
How long was she pregnant?
Like a month? Two?
That's soap opera time, right?
No congrats, BOOOOOOO.....
/\
Madolyn: What do you expect coming in here?
Billy Costigan: I have to come here.
Madolyn: I know you have to come here, but now that you're here, what do you want?
Billy Costigan: You want the truth? Valium.
Submitted by mina on August 8, 2008 - 12:22pm.
So was this woman turkey basted after Clay went into the bathroom with a picture of Tom Cruise?
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It wasn't a picture of Tommy Girl... it was Tommy Girl herself.
So was this woman turkey basted after Clay went into the bathroom with a picture of Tom Cruise?
I won't believe it until I see the results of the paternity test on MAURY.
"When the baby came out and screamed "Ooooh! Slap me on the ass and call me Mary!", everyone knew he was Gayken's."
Comic gold.
I hate and love that picture of Gayken's O-Face.
He's just so unnaturally asexual...I don't think he even has anything remotely pheremonal about him, like he's void of smell/sweat.
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Why do it right when you can do it twice?
I wanna attach this shit to my facebook as a comment... anybody know how???
My Pic is of my BESTEST prune face!
:-P
I love that you're still saying 'mama je'e'
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Brain: Pinky, are you pondering what I'm pondering?
Pinky: I think so Brain, but burlap chafes me so.
I'm sure because the mom was a senior citizen they decided to do a c-section to be safe. They scheduled for 8/8/08, and the doc didn't pull the kid out until exactly 8:08.
Stupid!
I love these pics you get, MK.
That is all.
♥ ThreadKilla! / Lean Like a Chola / She's a Lady.
Avvie courtesy of Viva La Lohan.
He is my favorite. Just saw his personals ID on millionaires personals site """C e l e b C u p i d.c o m"""""" yesterday. I am wondering what kind of relationship he is looking for on ~that site.
That's such a terrible picture of him -- though, truth be told, he doesn't look good in any picture.
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Boats n' Hoes, gotta have me my boats n' hoes.
www.myspace.com/dreamhypnotique
ALSO just read another report - the kid was 19 inches long. Fucks sake.
Note to self: avoid all things linked to Gayken and his spawn.
He just reminds me of those "success cases" that Pray-The-Gay-Away programs always trot out to do TV interviews about how they're in "happy, healthy, committed heterosexual relationships". They all have speech patterns that are a little too even, home haircuts, that glazed-eyed look, and their knuckles are white as they grasp at their chairs. At least Clay is maintaining his kicky strawberry blonde bob.
I'm actually dreading his inevitable (and profitable) coming-out because I know the whole thing will be so cloying, supportive, and empowering. He'll definitely have had it both ways in that sense.
.....and Gwen Stefani is STILL preggers!
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If there's a cure for this, I don't want it- don't want it; if there's a remedy, I'll run from it- from it; think about it all the time, never let it out of my mind, cause I love you....
ALREADY ???? sheesh. seems like yesterday this was just in the news.
oh well. At least he's able to support
the little bugger.
I'm surprised the kid took his last name; I thought he was just being a sperm donor (and yes, it disgusted me to type that)...
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Simplicity provides a fine line between eloquence and plainness. -LL Cool J
Submitted by Mopa on August 8, 2008 - 7:58am.
Maybe he'll get $8 from a magazine to put his little fucker on it's cover.
Or 8 inches from the male pediatric nurse.
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gay bacon
My pain, my pleasure, my heart, my world.
Further proof of the apocalypse:
Parker = 6
Foster = 6
Gayken = 6
666!!! AAAHHHHHH!!!
That picture of Gayken gets me every time! Congrats (I guess).
-Still laughing like a loon at that damned photo...hehe
Submitted by mike on August 8, 2008 - 6:57am.
Bah - I'm betting they fudged with the weight and birth time just to be cute.
reply •
I second that suspicion.
Uhhhhhhhh...
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Sorrow is knowledge, those that know the most must mourn the deepest, the tree of knowledge is not the tree of life. -- Lord Byron
Maybe he'll get $8 from a magazine to put his little fucker on it's cover.
That poor kid's life is already a mess.
Bah - I'm betting they fudged with the weight and birth time just to be cute.
Submitted by wiggwearer on August 8, 2008 - 10:50am.
that 8 thing is fucked up. I bet there's some kind of weird prediction out there involving some sort of immaculate conception & the anti-christ which could be applied to this situation.
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SSSHHHH! If Brange hears that they'll come kidnap you and you'll never be seen again. Their and only their children will be anything resembling something miraculous.
Parker Foster Aiken, counselors at law.
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