Just When You Think You've Heard It All
I'm typing this post with one hand, because my other hand is consoling my no-no hole. It's scared and confused after hearing this story.
This past Monday night, two cops in Indiana were on their normal patrol when they noticed a naked dude in the window of his home. The window's blinds were not closed, so everyone could see the naked pepaw and his shriveled cucumber. The two cops approached the pepaw's door, which was wide open. They went inside and discovered some fucked up shit. I mean, fucked up shit! Cover your a-hole when read the next part. You don't want it to cry, because that will just make everything a mess.
The pepaw was on his sofa nailing himself in the ass with a claw hammer! The claw hammer was covered in a plastic bag and shoved up there. The cops also noticed some lube-type shit all over his genitals and nalgas. It was motor oil. Okay, let's take a moment and think about this for a second. Now the police report didn't say which part of the claw hammer was up his ass. Please don't tell me it was the claw part, because my asshole will start bawling and I'm wearing my last clean pair of panties.
I mean, I'm all for sticking shit up your ass, whatever you gotta do to get yours, but damn! Pepaw is going to pull out a kidney or something.
He obviously has some sort of fetish for tools. I don't even want to think about what he does with a hand brace or a sledgehammer. And what's with the motor oil? Was his ass squeaky or something?
The pepaw was arrested for felony public indecency. He asked for a second chance, but the cops denied him when they found out he had a previous conviction for public indecency.
The cops also interviewed a neighbor lady who said he's always naked in front of his window. She went on to say, "He does it 24/24. He's not right." Wait till she hears about the sexy things he can do with a claw hammer.
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oh no ha ha ha ha ha a ha!!!!!!!!!
i cant stop laughing at his ass!
Please tell me the cops told him to STOP HAMMER TIME!!!!!
STOP! Hammer Time! Cant touch this! Cant touch your ass with THAT!
bwaaah ha ha a ha!!!!!
My pain, my pleasure, my heart, my world.
Hi Okie ♥
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"But let's be real, if you can't look at dicks at work, then it's time to look for a new job"
MK on the SamRo's a Filthy bitch thread" 7.31.08
Hell, when did this... like... become a crime against Humanity! *closes drapes and removes power drill from no-no hole, leaves room abruptly*
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She's not kidding. I'm gonna whip ya silly and I'm gonna fuck ya stupid.
Submitted by mike on August 7, 2008 - 10:58am.
This story suddenly makes Jiffy Lube sound dirty
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I must be a very immature perv because every time I pass a Jiffy Lube I laugh like a loon.
Anyways, this hawt pepaw lives about half an hour from me. Hell yes. I am putting up my Craigs List ad right now....
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Hi5.
I knew an old lady in Domincan Republic that supposedly used a green banana and bottles of soda to penetrate she was crazy though
Frankly my dear, I don't give a Damn!! "Rhett Butler"
What happens between a man and his carpentry tools is private.
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Paris Hilton issues tart rebuttal to McCain ad
He must go OFF in Ace Hardware Store.
The poor employee whores probably have to schedule an appointment for Stanley Steemers as soon as he walks in the store.
♫♫♫♫♫☮☮☮☮☮♫♫♫♫♫☮☮☮☮☮♫♫♫♫♫☮☮☮☮☮♫♫♫♫♫☮☮☮☮☮♫♫♫♫♫
When all else fails, Eat It, Lick It, Snort It, Fuck It!
If you can't ram a claw hammer up your own ass in your own home, where can you do it?
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"You're a tool. And do you know why? It's because you're a ginge, Fintan. A dirty, freckly ginge."
OK, that is fuckin' FOUL!
This man needs a date at Jiffy Lube!
'Heaux Confessionals'
www.myspace.com/triston
This story suddenly makes Jiffy Lube sound dirty.
FUCK YES!!!
I fucking love living in Indiana. We are some sick bitches!
HOOSIER DADDY!!
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Hi5.
That is really sad and embarassing for someone, I mean shit! close your blinds you idiot! Now your face is plastered all over Smoking gun, ETC. You are a joke now silly guy!
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Pop pills, Pills I pop, Pop two pills
On stilts I walk; Snort two lines that were filled with chalk; Thought I was incredible and killed the hulk;
Only on this site would I hear about this shit!
I mean, I'm all for sticking shit up your ass, whatever you gotta do to get yours, but damn! Pepaw is going to pull out a kidney or something.
OMG I need to go pee now. LMAO!
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Dick happens! - MK
and motor oil? I mean surely with oil prices being what they are, some Wet Platinum would have been cheaper.
http://thevinylvillage.wordpress.com
24/24?
whats that? 24 hours a day, 24 days a month? maybe he takes a week off to let his hole heal?
http://thevinylvillage.wordpress.com
*shuders and cringes and cries*
LMAO @ Miss Priss.
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Pop pills, Pills I pop, Pop two pills
On stilts I walk; Snort two lines that were filled with chalk; Thought I was incredible and killed the hulk;
If he has a fetish for tools, K-Fed better stay away, and Timberlake for that matter
Oh, and my no-no hole is scared
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"But let's be real, if you can't look at dicks at work, then it's time to look for a new job"
MK on the SamRo's a Filthy bitch thread" 7.31.08