The Empress Of Lucite Is On The Cover Of The National Enquirer!
The Empress of Lucite has made the cover of The National Enquirer's "Most Elegant Women on the Planet" cover. Yes, I know it's about plastic surgery nightmares, but they didn't mean that! They couldn't have. Shauna Sand is perfection personified. That picture was obviously doctored by some evil hater of all things elegant. Shauna's stomach is not capable of looking like that. I'm sure she's tried, because she's sick of being so fucking gorgeous and she wants to fit in with the normal people of the world. I'm telling you. Natural beauty like Shauna's is a curse. The Enquirer didn't even show off her best feature - her exquisite lucite heels! WTF?!
Click here to see other pictures of Shauna in a bikini from that same set. I mean, all you see is perfection? Right? RIGHT?! May you choke on that Baby Ruth you're scarfing down if you didn't answer HELL YES to my question.
Somebody needs to put Shauna in touch with Phoebe Price. PP has been through this before. Do you remember cellugate? Chicken Cutlets will put Shauna in touch with the right "legal management team." She will also get Shauna to deny the claims by going on every TV show from "The Insider" to "QVC's Quaker Factory." The Empress of Lucite's good name must be cleared!
P.S. - Did Phyllis Diller's face finally fall off or is that bacon?
Image VIA Cover Awards
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Submitted by Solaera on August 6, 2008 - 12:33pm.
Phyllis Diller looks like a meth lab blew up in her face.
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Is it wrong for me to say I laughed my ass off when I read this comment? I still can't stop....thanks Solaera.
Shoutout to Lara Flynn Boyle and Brittany Murphy. These are the chicks that piss me off the most. They're not even that old and they're all up in the procedures that don't even make them younger. Just more weird looking.
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I'm not mean, I'm just temporarily way too honest." - Howard Kremer
I'm all about liposuction and plastic surgery, but these women are loaded. Couldn't they find a more skilled surgeon?
So whose cock did you have to suck for that contract, sweetheart?
fucking gross! unfuckingbelievable people pay money to screw their looks like that!
does anyone have scans from that thing?
meh forget it, i'll look at while waiting in line at wal-mart as usual.
These love children are all over the place--I just saw the Enquirer's cover at the super and it's found Obama's love child. What is a love child anyway?
Your face!
the whorehans need to just take it and shut up
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"When it comes to men, don't pay attention to word they say, but pay attention to absolutely everything they do".
Professor Randy Paush
Submitted by Farrah on August 6, 2008 - 5:22pm.
"Exquisite Lucite Heels".... damn you, MK!! i don't think i can start my day properly (around noon) if i don't see a post about them fuckers. Someone should re-write Cinderella and replace the crystal slipper with an exquisite lucite heel...
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GENIUS!!! And the ugly step sisters will just be 'jelly h8rs'...Perfection!
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
It's sad what these women have done to themselves. didn't they look at other plastic surgery train wrecks and see what it did for them?
To make it worse, some of these chicks were actually very pretty.
This cover is a hodge-podge of who done it and why. Geez
"Now his failure is complete"... Darth Vader
"Exquisite Lucite Heels".... damn you, MK!! i don't think i can start my day properly (around noon) if i don't see a post about them fuckers. Someone should re-write Cinderella and replace the crystal slipper with an exquisite lucite heel...
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I became insane with long intervals of terrible sanity...- Edgar Allan Poe.
Submitted by Solaera on August 6, 2008 - 12:33pm.
I sure hope that item about Christina Applegate is not true. What a blow to any woman's self-image. Hopefully they caught her cancer early like her publicist claimed.
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It might just be true. If I heard correctly, her mother had breast cancer too. You can get tested for the breast cancer gene. Some women who carry the gene and have family histories of breast cancer go for aggressive treatment and often get double mastectomies as a prophylactic, to protect themselves from breast cancer before it starts in the other breast. It sounds radical, but there's been several cases in the news about it. After the mastectomies, often times the woman gets implants to restore their breasts.
all this cover story tells you is wealthy and famous people also have QUACKS for doctors.
nothing wrong with having a little PS, but there are too many people who have been butchered by their CS
All I was wondering was wtf happened to Phyllis Diller's face, makes me not want to eat bacon ever again. As for Shauna, they photoshopped that belly on her, the woman is perfection!
Your face!
I heart Jeanne Bice, and her ever-present headband. I admit to being shocked the last time she was on QVC, her cheesy "dream" sign was MIA. Jeanne is all about the glitz and glamour. These Hollywood ho's could take a few lessons from her.
O mah Gah.
These covers, bwahahahahaha...
And do not believe anything this rag has to say.
But if there were awards for for most headache, vertigo inducing covers, they would sweep all of them.
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Madolyn: What do you expect coming in here?
Billy Costigan: I have to come here.
Madolyn: I know you have to come here, but now that you're here, what do you want?
Billy Costigan: You want the truth? Valium.
She is my favorite. Someone told me she is datting a young billlionaire on """"""C e l e b C u p i d.c o m"""""""". What kind of relationship she is looking for on that site? Long-term relationship or just a date?
Poor Shauna was yet another innocent victim of Photoshop CS3: Paparazzi Edition.
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I am a DJ and I've got believers.
I sure hope that item about Christina Applegate is not true. What a blow to any woman's self-image. Hopefully they caught her cancer early like her publicist claimed.
LFB's face looks like Cojo's. I wonder if they are on the same type of meds?
Phyllis Diller looks like a meth lab blew up in her face.
SOMEBODY has found the cellulite tool on Photoshop and everybody luvs it. I MUST get me an upgrade!
♥ ThreadKilla! / Lean Like a Chola / She's a Lady.
Happy X-mas, One and All!
Geez Louise! What happened to Phyllis Diller?!?
♥ ThreadKilla! / Lean Like a Chola / She's a Lady.
Happy X-mas, One and All!
Submitted by parissucksliterally on August 6, 2008 - 2:57pm.
Seriously Slutts! That John Edwards shit REEKS of coverup!
That's s true. He was caught several weeks ago with pictures to boot and we still haven't heard anything about it.
If Christina Applegate actually did have a 2X mastectomy, that's a shitty thing for this rag to report. That's private shit.
As for the bitches with the scary surgery faces, who cares. Vain bitches deserve to be outed.
I want to see John Edwards love child, for real.
Submitted by parissucksliterally on August 6, 2008 - 2:57pm.
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I agree with LFB, looks like meds at work. Phyllis Diller...I can't see the photo that well, but what happened???
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She's not kidding. I'm gonna whip ya silly and I'm gonna fuck ya stupid.
i want to see john edward's love baby...
i can only imagine the key to success in hollyweird is to fuck your face up like this...
and while i can say with a straight face that i haven't fingered an "enquirer" in months, i may have to scan one just to see the shauna creature in lucite heels....
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butt sex can lead to ass babies...be sure to use a condom...
Seriously Slutts! That John Edwards shit REEKS of coverup!
LFB has to have something wrong with her- she is so puffy, that is meds....
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and every time I scratch my nails down someone else's back, I hope you feel it- can you feel it?
- Alanis Morisette "You Oughta Know"
Bitch set you up, huh, John?
This is friggin ass awesome!
"Laugh alone and the world thinks you're an idiot".
It is such a shame to see these beautiful women who chop up their faces and then look like caricatures of their former selves.
Lara Flynn Boyle looks downright creepy now.
No wonder Jack left her anorexic ass.
'Heaux Confessionals'
www.myspace.com/triston
Is Lara Flynn Boyle's face the result of bad plastic surgery or did she gain weight? Whatever it is Lara is unrecognizable.
Screw the plastic surgery stories, I wanna see the John Edwards love child photos.
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She's not kidding. I'm gonna whip ya silly and I'm gonna fuck ya stupid.
I was thinking that Priscilla Presley looked pretty good, only to realize it's Lara Flynn Boyle.
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"You're a tool. And do you know why? It's because you're a ginge, Fintan. A dirty, freckly ginge."
I think SS needs to call PP, and get the number of her litigation mgmnt team...
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and every time I scratch my nails down someone else's back, I hope you feel it- can you feel it?
- Alanis Morisette "You Oughta Know"
THAT is Lara Flynn Boyle??????????? OMFG!!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?
Submitted by TANGELINE on August 6, 2008 - 3:03pm.
1st and 2nd bitches.. LOOK at Lara Flyn Boyle..
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NO!!! NO NO NO!!!! We are NOT going to start that nonsense here! That is why I left Perez (that and his bullshit copy/paste "blog posts"). So stop that!
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Hi5.
and that woman in the americal apparel advert in the black swimsuit is driving me mad! she's everywhere, and looks so gormless.
MK, I never taken you for a misogynist so bring on the MEN that have fucked their faces up too! C'mon. Fair is FAIR.
to be honest that pic looks like a bad moment captured in time, she's twisting for goodness sake. I'd love to see what the editors look like in the same pose. Actually, scrub that!
A nauseating exercise in fug and fugger.
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I love you. No, really.
www.myspace.com/dreamhypnotique
1st and 2nd bitches.. LOOK at Lara Flyn Boyle..
lol! MK, you make fasting wayyyyyyyyyyy to easy for me! I thank you.
-And, PD's face DID fall off...and that IS bacon. Figure THAT one out. I'm not going to say it. No. NO. Pork...Face...no. I'm not. lol
faces only a mother can appreciate!!