Take That Again, People Magazine!
People Magazine is the Brangaloonie bible this week, but Star Magazine has all the details on Jennifer Aniston's maybe baby! Jenny is also on this week's cover of OK! Magazine and they claim she's planning her wedding to John Mayer. This is Jenny's week! Getting married and having a baby! Okay, John Mayer hasn't proposed and he probably still calls her "Rachel" on accident, but that's not the point! Jenny is getting it all!
A source told Star, "Jen feels so strongly that John is 'the one. She knows he can handle being a dad." The source added that Jenny can't wait for Brad Pitt to see pictures of her holding her own baby. HA! Maddox has to be the source. Somebody erase Star Magazine's number from his Migo! I mean, what are the magazines going to do when Jenny eventually gets married and has a kid? I can see it now, "Jennifer Aniston's newborn baby files for emancipation, will move in with Brangelina!!"
Star may have the details on Jenny's new maybe baby, but I have exclusive video:
Seriously, reborn dolls haunt my everything! I was told that you should conquer your fears head on, so I'm really tempted to order one. You know hundreds of Brangaloonies already put in their orders for lifelike versions of the twin messiahs. Sorry, I'll stop. I'm totally creeping myself out now.
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Jebus, I'm not going to name names since I'd be feeding a fucktard but did some poor soul break their real doll again? There are places you can send your latex lover to when the limbs go all limp. A few bolts tightened...some fresh clamps and voila! No worries. You'll be okay.
Okay. Maybe someone else already mentioned this but WHY is there a giant mole gracing Mary K's face on that cover?
Submitted by kdracofan on August 6, 2008 - 1:16pm.
PS: who abused fish lips? was it her surgeon?
NO i abused that ho! I slapped that silly ho around like it was my job! I told her ass no wire hangers in her face and she aint listen!
My pain, my pleasure, my heart, my world.
PS: who abused fish lips? was it her surgeon?
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"D-Listed is like chicks who hang out together for a long time- they start getting their periods the same day.
All d-listed sluts start to think exactly alike after a while. LOLOLOLOL" Mel-tang!
HOLY SHIT - How old is this picture and how in the fuck did modern science give her the face she has now??? It's like they put little bombs in her cheeks, set that shit off, and rebuilt from the ground up. MAJOR work. She has gotten her face done so gradually though that the only way anyone would realize is if they saw an old ass pic like this to remind them of her old face.
That said - lol. Yeah, John Mayer is switching from poonskipper to diaper changer just like that after being bewitched by Jenny's beauty - haha. MMhmm. I do hope this old maid finds a man though, because though I don't like her, it must suck to have a love life history like hers. She's probably a cool girl deep down inside under all her insecurities - I mean, she IS a huge pothead.
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http://www.myspace.com/rainbowsrule
THEY TRIED 2 GIVE ME A TIME SLOT WERE IT WAS STILL LIGHT OUTSIDE ... I HAVE A FUCKING LIGHT SHOW DUMB ASS, IT'S NOT CALLED GLOW IN THE DARK FOR NO REASON SQUID BRAINS!
My goodness - well that's a commercial for crazies, innit?
♥ ThreadKilla! / Lean Like a Chola / She's a Lady.
Happy X-mas, One and All!
Submitted by Angelina Jolie-Pitt on August 6, 2008 - 1:03pm.
I love Jennings and Wynette like the next person, but so does Dot. She also has the collectable mugs from South of the Border with him on them.
Creepy!! Dead babies! Ick
Babies are like any problem. They're great when they belong to someone else.
As for the story, I have visions of mayer reading about his impending nuptials and booking a flight for Ice Station Zebra. LOL!
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Surfing the apocalypse.
I do love this phrase "on accident". It's so cute, somehow. Who is this source? It MUST be Maddox - he's got time on his hand now doesn't he.
ALSO - to our lovely Libra, and the good people of D-Listed. How I wish you could have been there yesterday while I tried to calm a toddler who spent 15 minutes HOWLING about his Mommy. Not because Mommy's at work - he can handle that - but because Mommy just had a baby. Apparently, he's done that a couple of times each day, out of nowhere, since she had her three days ago...and he's a feisty, independent kid with a lot of stability, no less.
♥ ThreadKilla! / Lean Like a Chola / She's a Lady.
Happy X-mas, One and All!
Submitted by EmJay on August 6, 2008 - 1:01pm.
leave jennings out of that shit!
Jennings dont even like cats!
and he must not like babies considering Scooter
My pain, my pleasure, my heart, my world.
You know some woman named Dot, who live on the corner of Pecan and Junipberry Lane has the whole set. She and her dead cats, which she props up and talks to while eating salt-water taffy have committee meetings with these frightening things, while listening to Waylon Jennings Greatest Hits.
do not enjoy beautiful babies. am wondering what their privates look like. oy.
Submitted by joanne on August 6, 2008 - 1:04pm.
Three years ago I learned this about the rag mags. If its bad and about JA, its true. If its bad and about AJ, its jealousy and untrue, if its good and about JA, she is just trying to make AJ look bad or steal her thunder, if its good and about AJ its either People or OK magazine. We didn't get to far in three years did we, same old crap.
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That made my head hurt. But you speak truth, my friend.
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Hi5.
Judging by the comments on this post, I am glad I didn't watch the video.
If there is any proof that tabloids cater to the lowest common denominator it's the way they try to sell the idea that all women are competing with one another to marry and have babies. As though that's an end goal for all of womankind.
And if there is any proof that Brangeloonies ARE the lowest common denominator it's that they really believe that.
WHAT IN UNGODLY UTERUS BLOODY HELL IS THIS!??? They posed the triplets. THEY POSED THE TRIPLETS!!!
* * * * I HEART CAVEMEN * * * *
moodmaid, that was truly terrifying. These people need mental help, not a doll to push around for attention. Volunteer at a orhanage or some shit! Go work in a nursery! I'm sorry but if some needy bitch wheeled her fake baby up to me in the supermarket looking for attention I would call the loonie bin to come pick her up! Bitch, you have got to be kidding me.
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"yes, DUH, I am a low rent whore"
Half of my brain admires the craftsmanship, and the other half is just plain creeped out (especially by the preemies in the video)
um yeah well it's not at all interesting when the news is about Dog Face Maniston is it?
Stoney, I know. Hold me!
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Fuck 'Em If They Can't Take A Joke
a message from the Church of the SubGenius
right now, i can sooo hear pedo's salivating
ewwwwwwwww! o.0
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"Stanley, that better be me you're having sex with"
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OMG! OMG!! It's Suri Cruise on 1:42!!!!! That's where they got her!!
I'm sorry, but that video is just SAD. Yes, it's creepy, but it really depresses me to know that there are ADULTS out there so empty and confused that they start to actually believe a plastic doll can fulfill them. God, somebody get me a drink.
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"yes, DUH, I am a low rent whore"
*deleted duplicate post*
Testify, Salem13.
I've never had a ticking biological clock. But rock on to any women that do. Women have a choice now.
I'm not a JA fan, never watched "Friends". But this cover is pretty insulting. If she wanted to spawn, she would have. Lord knows she can afford it.
Three years ago I learned this about the rag mags. If its bad and about JA, its true. If its bad and about AJ, its jealousy and untrue, if its good and about JA, she is just trying to make AJ look bad or steal her thunder, if its good and about AJ its either People or OK magazine. We didn't get to far in three years did we, same old crap.
Brangealoonies have got to be the dumest sack of cunts i have ever seen in my entire god damn life!
My pain, my pleasure, my heart, my world.
great now that BEAUUUUTIFULLLL BABBBBBYYY song is gonna swirl around my head all day. i hope i don't sing it while accidently in walmart or something.
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"whats a justin bobby?"
Submitted by Salem13 on August 6, 2008 - 10:19am.
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Yay, Salem...you're singing my song! Women don't NEED a husband and kids to have a real life, or to feel that their life has purpose. And dementa, please see Salem's post for explanation.
I am very happy that jen is getting the baby she wants but John Mayer? she couldn't find someone less replusive to have a child with? the baby is going to be born with half his slime and shitty personality what was she thinking?
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"When it comes to men, don't pay attention to word they say, but pay attention to absolutely everything they do".
Professor Randy Paush
I don't know, does anyone really believe that headline that she wants a family, etc? I could be wrong, but when she was married to Brad, didn't he want a family and she was busy with her 'career'?
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"Crocs: They are to your eyes what second-hand smoke is to your lungs."
LOL...coming to DListed gets me through a hectic work day with a few laughs...I take nothing here very seriously. I consider all of this amusement and am secure enough not to "project" anything in an online environment. No worries, "Dementia."
Submitted by moonmaid on August 6, 2008 - 11:25am.
WHOA!!!
thanks for posting that clip!! damn!!!
these women are addicted to motherhood!
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Fuck 'Em If They Can't Take A Joke
a message from the Church of the SubGenius
Submitted by dementa on August 6, 2008 - 12:26pm.
What exactly makes posters online so very very sure that Jen the Chin ISN'T seething with jealousy, that she isn't pitifully hung up on her ex, and that she isn't preoccupied with one-upping him?
Do you know her? Or is there just some major-league projection going on here?
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Yes, my dear, it's a major league conspiracy. Every Dlister is in on it, didn't you get the memo? *eye roll*
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"You're a tool. And do you know why? It's because you're a ginge, Fintan. A dirty, freckly ginge."
I don't associate Jennifer with The Brad, I did when they were married but now if I hear let's say The Clooney, I think of The Brad.
Ironic or weird?, your call.
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Madolyn: What do you expect coming in here?
Billy Costigan: I have to come here.
Madolyn: I know you have to come here, but now that you're here, what do you want?
Billy Costigan: You want the truth? Valium.
Not watching this...not watching the infant spawn of Chucky....NOoooooooo
"Laugh alone and the world thinks you're an idiot".
Submitted by dementa on August 6, 2008 - 12:22pm.
That's because these tabloids know their main targets are the Brangeloonies... and what do Brangeloonies love doing the most?? Yeah that's right... hate on aniston !!!
As long as loons are out their buying this crap to satisfy whatever mental issues they have in their lives.... JEN will always be dragged into this !
And dont tell me you're THAT stupid to actually believe in this crap... how old are you again? 12?
"I'm sure Jen doesn't give a hoot about Brad and his life now!"
"Jen doesn't need your pity."
"...like JA gives a hairy rats ass about Brand and Loonie..."
Where there's smoke, there's fire. Most female celebs aren't focused on like this so long post-breakup... why would they focus on her and not someone else? She's nowhere near THAT interesting.
Let's face it, wealth and attention and a toned body don't take away nasty little insecurities and petty jealousies. And there are plenty of successful, confident people -- women and men -- who post-breakup are seething with jealousy over what their remarried/reattached exes are doing, especially if they're doing well.
One fun example is Laurell K Hamilton. She's a successful, bestselling author with a younger hubby and no real problems, yet she's obviously obsessed with her happily-remarried ex-husband. In fact, she devotes lots of ink in each book she writes to torturing, slandering and jeering at said ex's avatar, while moping that he wouldn't stay with her.... yet by the standards of online posters, she ISN'T moping, obsessed and vengeful.
What exactly makes posters online so very very sure that Jen the Chin ISN'T seething with jealousy, that she isn't pitifully hung up on her ex, and that she isn't preoccupied with one-upping him?
Do you know her? Or is there just some major-league projection going on here?
From Wikipedia:
In July of 2008, police in Queensland, Australia smashed a car window to rescue what seemed like an unconscious baby only to find it was a reborn doll. The police stated that the doll was "incredibly lifelike" and that bystanders who thought a baby was actually dying were frightened by the incident.
There's a clip on it that's scary and sad:
http://www.channel4.com/video/my-fake-baby/series-1/episode-1/living-dol...
woot woot salem!! Im unmarried, childless, and will stay that way. I dont live on a damn farm, why do I need kids??
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Fuck 'Em If They Can't Take A Joke
a message from the Church of the SubGenius
Submitted by FatMartha on August 6, 2008 - 11:17am.
I don't understand why these mags even bother to exist anymore.
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They're fun to read while you're waiting in line at the supermarket. But that's just me.
Submitted by Cara on August 6, 2008 - 11:03am.
I'm amazed that this story is able to sell magazines, after what, three years?
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Sadly Cara, yes. People are THAT DUMB.
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Fuck 'Em If They Can't Take A Joke
a message from the Church of the SubGenius
What is this 1953? Fuck why do PEOPLE STILL think that if a woman isn't having kids and getting married its seen as such a terrible tragedy. FUCK some woman HAVE survived without having EITHER of those two. I'm so sick of this biologic clock bullshit and woman "having to put their life on hold" to have kids and get married its 2008 woman can do WHATEVER THE FUCK THEY WANT with their bodies and BELEIVE it or not some woman DON'T want to get married or have kids. FUCK EVOLVE PEOPLE.
Submitted by parissucksliterally on August 6, 2008 - 12:25pm.
dementa, it is not true...come on. It's Star Magazine, the one that contradicts itself every week.
I hate Star Mag.
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Er, but... don't ALL tabloids do that? D:
I don't understand why these mags even bother to exist anymore. As a weekly press, they are inevitably always a week behind on the news. Just shut them down, for crying out loud. I can't see why anyone (except for the Loonies) bothers paying between $3-4 for a mag when they can get the same info and pictures for FREE on the internet the day shit happens. DUH. Oh well.
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Hi5.
Kate and Lance: What Went Wrong?
Umm...he couldn't grow a fresh new penis for her?
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http://www.myspace.com/rainbowsrule
THEY TRIED 2 GIVE ME A TIME SLOT WERE IT WAS STILL LIGHT OUTSIDE ... I HAVE A FUCKING LIGHT SHOW DUMB ASS, IT'S NOT CALLED GLOW IN THE DARK FOR NO REASON SQUID BRAINS!
i had to take another shot of voddie. those fucking dolls are too much
get your own life perfect......then come talk to me!!!!!! ~~Michelle Aline~~
I always thought Jen was ugly but she does keep her figure in really good shape. If Jen and AJ fought it out in the ring I think Jen would win (just so long as you made sure AJ was stripped of all her knives and guns first).
STAR magazine must hate Maniston. They put her old face on the cover.
She should sue and make them insert her new nose and cheeks.
Stat!
'Heaux Confessionals'
www.myspace.com/triston
Ok, soooooooo I'm thinking that these are called "reborn" babies because the peeps that have them made and then have them posed in piccy's from like Sears Portraits are women who have lost a child and are mentally fucked from it?
Seriously, I don't get this?
LOL @ "Maddox has to be the source. "