Dear Oprah, Can I Have Some Money?
You already know this, but I'll tell you anyway. Oprah richer than all of us combined times a hundred. Shit, times a hundred thousand. TVGuide has put out their annual list of the riches whores in television and it's no surprise that Oprah came out on top.
She reportedly makes $385 million a year in TV shit ALONE. No wonder Gayle King has stuck around so long. I'd lick Oprah's vag sweat too if she gave me even 1% of her fortune.
What the hell do you do with all that money? I mean, I feel like we should all get together and sue her for some stupid reason. We can sue her for being too rich. Her wealth has caused us to feel bad about ourselves and we can't work because of it. She'll probably settle right away. Then we can take our settlement, buy an island, build a lucite mansion with a chicken cutlet garden, hire a dozen cholitas to entertain us and live the rest of our lives in heavenly bliss. Make it happen.
Other dumb skanks on the list include:
Simon Cowell - $50 million a year
David Letterman - $35 million a year
Charlie Sheen - $825k per episode for "Two and a Half Men"
William Peterson - $600k per episode for "CSI"
Mariska Hargitay - $400k per episode for "Law & Order: SVU"
The Simpsons cast - $400k per episode
Kyra Sedgwick - $275k per episode for "The Closer"
Screw all of those whores! They may have a ton of money, but they don't have what we have. Oh, who am I fooling? Money is everything.
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I'm on it! I've got PP's litigation management team on the other line...if they're noble and professional enough for PP, well then...
I can't stand this woman for many different reasons. The only thing I can say is she can't buy good looks or thinness with all that money.
Submitted by mike on August 5, 2008 - 12:28am.
I save my hatred for more worthy recipients.
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gotta agree with mike there, save it for people like Rachel Ray.
Submitted by fuzzyslippers on August 4, 2008 - 7:18pm.
...She could give every single person in the U.S. $1 million dollars and she wouldn't even feel a dent in her pocket.
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By George you are 100% right. I hope she wakes up tomorrow and do it.
"Now his failure is complete"... Darth Vader
I don't really care for Oprah, but I save my hatred for more worthy recipients.
I can haz monies, Oprah?
I want to live on an island with MK. We'd have to grow our own weed tho.
...She could give every single person in the U.S. $1 million dollars and she wouldn't even feel a dent in her pocket.
Fuck.
"Giving quality blowjobs since 1987!"
So what is this class action lawsuit against Oprah's riches and where do I sign up?
Submitted by day shift stripper
"She has to keep Steadman in check.
HA! Steadman..."
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Keepin dat pimp hand strong! bwahahahaha!
~"Save me a seat on the short bus to hell!" MK ~
Submitted by ILovePapaSmurf on August 4, 2008 - 6:28pm.
"Submitted by FritoDorito on August 4, 2008 - 2:23pm.
Let's do it, MK! This bitch is annoying as all holy fuck! I hate the way she has to put herself on the cover of O magazines. Why can't she find someone from the audiences of one her shows, give them a makeover and put THEM on the cover of the magazine? Because Oprah is a fucking narcissist. Shit, let's sue her for 30% of what bitch is worth. I'm feeling greedy today."
Please tell me you feel the same way about Rachel Ray as that bitch puts her Joker-fake grin on the cover of her shitty mag.
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Rachel Ray looks as if her hands stink. Pew Wee
"Now his failure is complete"... Darth Vader
This is why I don't tuck a blouse into a skirt. Makes us look like Ma Kettle. Guess all the money in the world can't buy you a long waist.
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Don't dream it... BE it!
In SUV's first episode with Mariska Hargitay, I hated her character but I stuck with her and now I love her!
Oprah shits money I bet. Damn I hate her. What happened to the old Oprah that had the trash talk show?
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Dick happens! - MK
"May we also add her prize fighter knuckles?! Dayyeemm!"
She has to keep Steadman in check.
HA! Steadman...
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"That was the most ludicrous pack of verbal peanut butter buttfuck I have ever read." ~DebFrmHell
http://www.myspace.com/zoloftpony
Submitted by Khandi on August 4, 2008 - 3:27pm.
We could say that O's face sans makeup causes us severe emotional distress.
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Can we add seeing her ghastly, hammer-toed, bunioned, scaly feet in sandals?
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May we also add her prize fighter knuckles?! Dayyeemm!
~"Save me a seat on the short bus to hell!" MK ~
I love Oprah! *cha ching*
I would be Oprah's best friend *cha ching* Oprah is almighty!
Call me! Pay me!! I love you
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hot damn, ho, here we go again.
Write a shitty formulaic book about victims. Then you can get her money.
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Come to me. I want to plough you like a Calgary driveway at Christmas time.
Submitted by BRADIFUL BITCH on August 4, 2008 - 4:39pm.
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I've never been able to stand Oprah. I've always seen her as a pretentious bitch. I've always seen right through her book clubs and her new age self help book club. When you get right down to it, it's not actually about any of that stuff, it's about ratings and money.
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Geez, Banana shut your friggin' gob, okay?
Submitted by Hekki on August 4, 2008 - 6:29pm.
Isn't that the truth? It has started already:
http://www.christianitytoday.com/ct/2002/april1/1.38.html
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Rudeness is a weak man's imitation of strenght.
An Eye for an Eye Leaves Everyone Blind!
Save an animal in a shelter: Http://dogsindanger.com
Mariska Hargitay is gorgeous, a fine actress, and should make more.
that is all.
'Heaux Confessionals'
www.myspace.com/triston
FritoDorito on August 4, 2008 - 6:32pm
omg I know.
I love my shows and all but fuck a duck, Okra can kiss my ass from now on and I don't even watch her stoopid show.
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Madolyn: What do you expect coming in here?
Billy Costigan: I have to come here.
Madolyn: I know you have to come here, but now that you're here, what do you want?
Billy Costigan: You want the truth? Valium.
let's do it!
i think instead of shitty minium wage, there should be a maximum wage. no more than $50 million a year.
www.ilovehaight.blogspot.com
Submitted by BRADIFUL BITCH on August 4, 2008 - 4:28pm.
The Simpson's cast?
These people make too much damn money.
All of them.
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No shit! How the hell are fucking actors worth so goddamn much and firefighters, teachers, and policemen worth so little? Where is the logic in that?
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Geez, Banana shut your friggin' gob, okay?
Submitted by Khandi on August 4, 2008 - 3:27pm.
We could say that O's face sans makeup causes us severe emotional distress.
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Can we add seeing her ghastly, hammer-toed, bunioned, scaly feet in sandals?
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I didn’t say that it was your fault – I said that I was going to blame you.
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Submitted by ILovePapaSmurf on August 4, 2008 - 4:27pm.
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Don't even get me started on Rachel Ray. Ugh. Her recipes are shit.
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Geez, Banana shut your friggin' gob, okay?
DUDE! MK, I'm totally in on that shit!
I have disability written all over this mental anguish the O-meister has inflicted on me and all of us poor, poor D-Listers!
Hey, I'm an NP, so if anyone needs work notes....
Jokes, y'all! No, I'm not.....YES. Jokes. NO.
Submitted by vanyvrgs: "As for Oprah..... she loves those scientologists and that new age crap."
She sure does! I'm glad someone else sees her fawning over those creeps. Here's my take on it: Oprah is being courted by the Scientos, but she's not having it because she's creating her OWN RELIGION. Her ego is big enough to do it, too.
The Simpson's cast?
These people make too much damn money.
All of them.
/\
Madolyn: What do you expect coming in here?
Billy Costigan: I have to come here.
Madolyn: I know you have to come here, but now that you're here, what do you want?
Billy Costigan: You want the truth? Valium.
"Submitted by FritoDorito on August 4, 2008 - 2:23pm.
Let's do it, MK! This bitch is annoying as all holy fuck! I hate the way she has to put herself on the cover of O magazines. Why can't she find someone from the audiences of one her shows, give them a makeover and put THEM on the cover of the magazine? Because Oprah is a fucking narcissist. Shit, let's sue her for 30% of what bitch is worth. I'm feeling greedy today."
Please tell me you feel the same way about Rachel Ray as that bitch puts her Joker-fake grin on the cover of her shitty mag.
We could say that O's face sans makeup causes us severe emotional distress.
seriously.600 G's an episode?
fuck.
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
"I'm Ron Burgundy?"
Oprah needs to give me some money right now. And pay Morgan Freeman's hospital bills.
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"Everyone turned rather nasty at this point, especially when Chick suggested that Terri might like to fuck off to Forfar and do something illegal with a ferret."
Let's do it, MK! This bitch is annoying as all holy fuck! I hate the way she has to put herself on the cover of O magazines. Why can't she find someone from the audiences of one her shows, give them a makeover and put THEM on the cover of the magazine? Because Oprah is a fucking narcissist. Shit, let's sue her for 30% of what bitch is worth. I'm feeling greedy today.
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Geez, Banana shut your friggin' gob, okay?
We should sue her, we should...
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"There's only one thing worse than being talked about, and that, is not being talked about..."
I'm in how do we go about suing that bitch?
When Judge Judy went to commercial, I took a sneak peek of Oprah's show. Today they were discussing having an active sex life in your 50's & 60's, open marriages, and numerous reasons why you should be doing the deed. Those women were up there talking about having lovers younger and older than they are. Go on granny!
"Now his failure is complete"... Darth Vader
No wonder Denise buys and sells houses at a loss every year. Because she can!
lol I imagine it probably IS possible to sue her for making us feel bad you know.
But then she might sue us for making her feel bad.
that might get a bit, tiresome. Although if we're quick we might make a bit on the interest before it has to go back lol!
_How come duckie is not making that same money? I hate Charlie Sheen
As for Oprah..... she loves those scientologists and that new age crap. She claims she is helping others but even the people that she invites to her show are there to promote her agenda and/or promote something Harpo. Sadly, many women and some men eat that crap up.. its a disgrace.
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Rudeness is a weak man's imitation of strenght.
An Eye for an Eye Leaves Everyone Blind!
Save an animal in a shelter: Http://dogsindanger.com
Submitted by ILovePapaSmurf on August 4, 2008 - 3:01pm.
I admit that I find "Two and a Half" men funny at times.
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So do I. But, only when Mom pussy-whips Charlie.
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I didn’t say that it was your fault – I said that I was going to blame you.
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SAUSAGE FINGERS! I'm hungry ):
Ahhh, no wonder Denise Richards breed 2 kids so fast...she knew her time would be up soon and with that kind of bank that Charlie's getting, hell 2 kids pay better then 1
Submitted by ILovePapaSmurf on August 4, 2008 - 5:01pm.
LMAO!
I can't stand the Sheen though.
I find him to be just as repulsive as irv's daughter.
My fiance and I talk about winning the lotto all of the time. I would do really good things with my money too like give to charities, help out my dude's family in Vietnam, help out our family here. All I really want is a house in La Jolla that is bought and paid for and to not have to work ever again and just go to school for the rest of my life. Well, and a nicer car...hehe
I think about asking Oprah for money all the time. Hell - she's got it! Actually, it's a big thing around here to try and get on the Oprah show (to get some of that money) for every little thing.
♥ ThreadKilla! / Lean Like a Chola / She's a Lady.
Happy X-mas, One and All!
Submitted by zomay on August 4, 2008 - 4:57pm.
drunken douches who lost their remote control.
I admit that I find "Two and a Half" men funny at times. But then again, my father was a womanizer who degraded women on a daily basis. Yes, I have issues.
We wage slaves are totally unworthy to even breathe the same air as Saint Oprah.
How can we even consider approaching her -- even through attorneys -- and ask her for money?
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I didn’t say that it was your fault – I said that I was going to blame you.
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Submitted by paris herpes on August 4, 2008 - 5:55pm.
Even actors who work on shitty sitcoms make more money that most of us peons. And here I am groveling for a $40K a year job with a Masters' degree in Bullshit!
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Don't get me started!
"Now his failure is complete"... Darth Vader
"Two and a Half Men"
Who the hell watches that?
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