Jakey Poo Will Make A Beautiful Christmas Bride
Jakey Poo has reportedly been blabbing off to his homegirls that he will marry Reese Witherspoon on December 19th, his birthday. His birthday! Typical. Jakey is going to be the worst bridezilla ever. He's going to cry into Reese's chin when they don't have the birds of paradise he wanted. He will screech like a pig bottom in heat when he finds out that Vera Wang has refused to make him a custom lace banana hammock. Yeah, he's going to be terrible.
Anyway, some nosy bitch told the Daily Mail, "Jake is telling everyone they are getting married at Christmas. He told me he had proposed several times but she kept telling him she wanted to give their relationship more time. When he asked her again a couple of weeks ago, she finally said yes."
She only said yes because Jakey Poo kept throwing a tantrum every time she said no. He really, really wants to be a Christmas bride. Reese got sick of buying him a limited-edition Barbie as a "I'm sorry gift" every time she said no, so she just gave in.
Seriously though, I don't see them tying the knot anytime soon. Well, except for the knot on Jakey Poo's harness.
Seriously though, I don't see these two bores tying the knot anytime soon. I mean, Hollywood rules state that you must get knocked up first. And since tickle games can't produce a baby, I doubt they will make it legal in the near future.
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ha ha ha Mike is here for the drama.
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Dick happens! - MK
It's TIME!!!!
I'm shaking......
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I may be soft in your palm but I'll soon grow
Hungry for a fight, and I will not let you win
My pretty mouth will frame the phrases that will
Disprove your faith in man
Donnie Darko is NOT gay, ya'll.
And neither is Ferris Bueller.
who wants to bet People's site crashes before half the loons the world over can even see the pics
***DO NOT ENGAGE. I repeat, DO NOT ENGAGE.***
Try to be kind to one another. Any one of us could die at any given moment and wouldn't you feel like caca to think the last thing you did was filled with hate and vitriol before you kicked it? - . - 8/01/08
Hold me, I clicked the refresh button over there, its still brewing...
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Dick happens! - MK
((hugs)) and ((smootches)) to all of my bestest fake friends evah! 2 more minutes is just not enough time to tell ussse I lurves you
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...whatever.
People.com says these two bores aren't engaged.
Yeah, I went over there to see if I could.
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Dick happens! - MK
Everybody got your water, flashlites, and MRE packs ready? We're heading into the basement to wait this shit out. No Iphones, Blackberry's, or any other PDA's with internet access are allowed, folks. The screens will all sync up and lead the JJ loons right to our doorstep!
***DO NOT ENGAGE. I repeat, DO NOT ENGAGE.***
Try to be kind to one another. Any one of us could die at any given moment and wouldn't you feel like caca to think the last thing you did was filled with hate and vitriol before you kicked it? - . - 8/01/08
DebFrmHell on August 3, 2008 - 6:32pm
If my lights flicker, I am hiding under the bed with the cats.
/\
Madolyn: What do you expect coming in here?
Billy Costigan: I have to come here.
Madolyn: I know you have to come here, but now that you're here, what do you want?
Billy Costigan: You want the truth? Valium.
HUNKER DOWN, the internet is going to shut down!
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Dick happens! - MK
Thanks Zomay. Here is a link to all of Ted Casablanca's Toothy Tile Blind Items I found:
http://community.livejournal.com/ohnotheydidnt/2890039.html
***DO NOT ENGAGE. I repeat, DO NOT ENGAGE.***
Try to be kind to one another. Any one of us could die at any given moment and wouldn't you feel like caca to think the last thing you did was filled with hate and vitriol before you kicked it? - . - 8/01/08
Would it not be funny if MK flips te switch on the site for a couple of seconds at 7pm EST? Or am i just warped?
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...whatever.
Viva La Lohan 'toothy tile' is a blind story from Ted Casablanca. A very well known blind that has many thinking Toothy is Jake. The blind item (story without actual names) claims a very up and coming actor is actually gay but chooses to not let the public know.
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@Joe,
budgie smugglers
HAHAHAHA!!!!!
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...whatever.
I seriously doubt these two will ever make it to the altar.
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Geez, Banana shut your friggin' gob, okay?
I just watched "Zodiac" last night again.
He was great in that flick.
Mark Ruffalo wasn't to shabby either.....
/\
Madolyn: What do you expect coming in here?
Billy Costigan: I have to come here.
Madolyn: I know you have to come here, but now that you're here, what do you want?
Billy Costigan: You want the truth? Valium.
Submitted by DebFrmHell on August 3, 2008 - 6:12pm.
IG!
East beach or West Beach? haha. I bet i know the answer to that one.
Galveston is so cutting edge. i am sure everyone is just catching on to the hammock.
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Uh oh. Is a hammock what we refer to in Oz as "budgie smugglers"? (although a true pair of budgie smugglers is really a Speedo)
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“Come to me. I want to plow you like a Calgary driveway at Christmas~John Cleese
ok you bitches can keep saying Toothy Tile as many times as you want but it doesn't tell me what the f it means!!!
*googling Toothy Tile*
***DO NOT ENGAGE. I repeat, DO NOT ENGAGE.***
Try to be kind to one another. Any one of us could die at any given moment and wouldn't you feel like caca to think the last thing you did was filled with hate and vitriol before you kicked it? - . - 8/01/08
Submitted by parissucksliterally on August 3, 2008 - 6:01pm.
I never believe any of the stories about these 2....I still think Jake is Toothy Tile.
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OMG, I'd forgotten all about Toothy Tile... I used to think it was JG too...hmm I'd forgotten that Ted Casablance was even alive..
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“Come to me. I want to plow you like a Calgary driveway at Christmas~John Cleese
I wouldn't mind splatting Jakey with some of my tapioca pudding! :D
Hi Deb, I don't have a clue. All I know is it was as hot as Hades! And BTW, I gather I missed your birfday--- so sorry, we have some rels here for the weekend so have been MIA. Hope it was a good one!
Reese and Jake are blander than tapioca pudding.
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"You're a tool. And do you know why? It's because you're a ginge, Fintan. A dirty, freckly ginge."
the post clock is very slow, so my excitement is right....
**************************************************
I may be soft in your palm but I'll soon grow
Hungry for a fight, and I will not let you win
My pretty mouth will frame the phrases that will
Disprove your faith in man
IG!
East beach or West Beach? haha. I bet i know the answer to that one.
Galveston is so cutting edge. i am sure everyone is just catching on to the hammock.
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...whatever.
OH MY GOD!!!!! THIRTY-ONE MINUTES!!!!!
heehee
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I may be soft in your palm but I'll soon grow
Hungry for a fight, and I will not let you win
My pretty mouth will frame the phrases that will
Disprove your faith in man
If Hollywood marriage is a business deal, than this is one hell of a merger.
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Viva i know they met in 2006 but i think they ahve been dating for about 1 1/2 years. Yes, Toothy Tile. BI
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...whatever.
RichBitch...how about good publicity, and no "Why can't Reese find Love?" covers on the tabloids.....Jake is a respected actor with a goood rep- she covers for him, because she doesn't feel like getting involved with anyone now, they both win. AND They get to be BFFs!
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I may be soft in your palm but I'll soon grow
Hungry for a fight, and I will not let you win
My pretty mouth will frame the phrases that will
Disprove your faith in man
"...when he finds out that Vera Wang has refused to make him a custom lace banana hammock".
I think I saw one of those at the beach in Galveston yesterday. Which was a heck of a lot more exciting than these two.
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"You're a tool. And do you know why? It's because you're a ginge, Fintan. A dirty, freckly ginge."
wow not even MK can make these two slightly interesting
:(
George Carlin went to Heaven and left us with Dane Cook here in Hell
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You know, I rather like this God fellow. Very theatrical, you know. Pestilence here, a plague there. Omnipotence ... gotta get me some of that
how long have they supposedly been dating? How long have her and Ryan been divorced? I could google it, but where's the fun in that?
***DO NOT ENGAGE. I repeat, DO NOT ENGAGE.***
Try to be kind to one another. Any one of us could die at any given moment and wouldn't you feel like caca to think the last thing you did was filled with hate and vitriol before you kicked it? - . - 8/01/08
I don't see why an oscar winning mother of two would feel the need to be anyone's beard frankly, what's in it for her? nothing!
Which leads me to conclude that they are a couple. A boring one but a couple nonetheless.
I don't know...
looks like a baby bump there (on Jakey Poo).
First of all: bullshit
Second of all: Toothy tile? what are you heiffers talking about?
***DO NOT ENGAGE. I repeat, DO NOT ENGAGE.***
Try to be kind to one another. Any one of us could die at any given moment and wouldn't you feel like caca to think the last thing you did was filled with hate and vitriol before you kicked it? - . - 8/01/08
aaaw, Toothy is getting married! Too sweet.
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...whatever.
I never believe any of the stories about these 2....I still think Jake is Toothy Tile.
**************************************************
I may be soft in your palm but I'll soon grow
Hungry for a fight, and I will not let you win
My pretty mouth will frame the phrases that will
Disprove your faith in man