Vadge Needs My Help
Last week, pictures of Vadge looking like Tommy Girl's used-up ass lips were all over the internet. This week, Vadge is looking a bit better, but she still looks like the saddest she-hulk in the room. You know why Vadge usually looks like she used to host a show on HBO from 1989 to 1996? It's because she's too fucking healthy! Seriously! The bitch works out too much and all she eats is seeds and grass. It's not right.
This ho needs to spend two days with me and she'll be back to normal! Here's the Michael K way:
Breakfast: 8 cups of coffee with sugar and Coffee-Mate (french vanilla), 2 Pillsbury Toaster Strudels, a big glass of Tang and 2 Bagel-Fuls.Lunch: 1 A&W Cream Soda, 2 servings of Easy Mac (their servings are small), 1 Mexican style Hot Pocket and your choice of a frozen Snickers or 1 Nilla Cakester.
Snack: Kraft Easy Cheese on Fritos or saltines with Kraft slices melted over them. Wash it down with a chocolate Slim-Fast shake.
Dinner: 4 vodka tonics and your choice of American (McDonald's), Cajun (Popeye's), Mexican (Taco Bell or Chipolte), Japanese (Top Ramen from the corner deli), Italian (Olive Garden) or seafood (Red Lobster). I would say Chinese, but we don't have P.F. Chang's or Panda Express around these parts which really sucks.
Exercise: 3 hours of reality TV, bong hits and at least 1 hour of porn (to boost hand eye coordination skills)
Vadge would look brand fucking new if she did it my way for the next couple of days. Her shit scent would make the lights flicker and the walls sweat, but that goes away after a couple of hours.
Here's weepy Vadge and Lourdes leaving the Kabbalah center in NYC last night.
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wow all the money she has and she cant get her kids uni waxed?! come on vadge
ahaha notice how she's trying to hide her claws??
OMG, she looks so pretty. I saw her profile on milllionaire&celeb personals site """"""C e l e b C u p i d.c o m""""""""" last week. What kind of relationship is she looking for on that site? Just curious.
My arteries just clogged from reading MK's culinary selections.
Madonna looks ca-ray-zee in the face.
"Now his failure is complete"... Darth Vader
She can afford to have her face turned into wax, but she can't afford to buy her daughter a pair of tweezers?
BITCH, PLEASE.
MK, ALWAYS food after bong hits! ALWAYS! You're leaving out the severe attack of the munchies that I get. I buy some chips (called nachos on the east coast) and drown them in shredded monterey jack cheese. Some salty goodness for your heart! Madonna needs to let go her of her yuppie diet and eat some PIZZA! (I bet her kids sneak out of the house and get down on some pepperoni and cheese pizzas while she's asleep or out working the 12 hours or more she puts into her stupid music or working out next door!)Also, she needs to learn that sugar is her friend and not her enemy!
Your face!
Submitted by stake_spike on August 3, 2008 - 4:00pm.
Stake, I'm a lil' disappointed that MK didn't include twinkies and ding-dongs in his diet. I mean, C'MON!
After reading Madge's biography it comes as no surprise that bitch is insane.
She works out way too much and always has, but now it's just bordering on obessive.
Love MK's diet plan, he eats just as unhealthy as I do.
well done mk...all food groups are represented except for some green foods...i would suggest a sprig of parsley that can easily be thrown away as your green food item...
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butt sex can lead to ass babies...be sure to use a condom...
MichaelK you need to put out a book! Publish that shit.
Classic, I love that you added both easy cheese and kraft to your fritos, you know, for more calcium ;)
Madonna really needs to take that kid for a wax...or at least let her sculpt her moustache into fun shapes like salvador dali.
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re: Submitted by name_optional on August 3, 2008 - 9:34am.
nice ufcking arms Iggy Pop!
Ooooh this is so true!
madonna is turning into iggy pop (but without the talent)
no annoying avatar, no sig, no way
Why is her hair wet?
Was there a pool party at the Kabbalah center or something?
For the love of Elizabeth Arden, please send young Lourdes to the Red Door Spa and have her eyebrows tweeze and lip hair remove. This is now bordering on child abuse.
No comment to add regarding Madonna. She is beyond help, both physically, emotionally and mentally.
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Fashion is art that you wear - L.G.
MK's diet is seriously lacking in deep-fried food group...Me, I have one of those jumbo sized friers, it's the size of my goddamm microwave. It holds 4 liters of oil (that's equivilant to two big jugs of Mountain Dew to my fellow Americans who don't know the metric system). You can buy big 10 lb bags of batter mix for about $5...just add water (I'm a lazy bitch). All veggies instantly becomes more delicious when battered and deep fried. If you run out of veggies, just mix up some batter and toss it in in the frier. It's golden crispy greasy goodness for pennies a meal!
dont wax facial hair.
have your facial hair "threaded" instead, it really works.
its an affordable alternative and there is no concern about having your face BURNT with the hot wax!
guys have it done too, to remove the unibrow.
What are bagel-fuls?
f'ing classic!
i loved the different dinner options.. it's like a world tour done chain restaurant style. you are a classy fella :)
myspace.com/bebekitten
"pip pip, cheerio"
Submitted by ExoticPittsburgh on August 3, 2008 - 9:13am.
May I add my favorite dinner: Pot Roast Salad.
Too funny. That sounds like cheese-topped pot roast, fries, and a side salad.
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This memaw likes to keep it sexy for bed times.
Her outfit is insulting, and I definitely agree that Vadge is pushing Lola to go against the grain and do the Frida Khalo unibrow mustache combo. She tells her "It'll be all the rage in like 3 years"...which I actually kind of like. It makes her 'different' you have to admit... Now is she going to make David and Rocco become twinked out little Vogue dancers a la Truth or Dare?...we have yet to see.
Heart the Diet MK :)
"Come on Gloria..."
-Hank Azaria "The Birdcage"
I love the MK diet. Sounds delicious. May I add my favorite dinner: Pot Roast Salad. You take some plain bagged salad and toss with vinegarette (the healthy part of the meal). Top with pot roast, shredded cheddar cheese, and seasoned curly fries (like the Arby's kind). And VOILA! Salad-goodness. I also have a recipe for dessert that uses whole Twinkies instead of ladyfingers for the crust.
Submitted by darlingjulie on August 3, 2008 - 11:10am.
I miss my avatar madonna
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Me too:(
♥ ThreadKilla! / Lean Like a Chola / She's a Lady.
Miss American Dream.
She is my favorite. I love her. I saw her profile on milllionaire personals site """""""""C e l e b C u p i d.c o m""""""""" yesterday. It is said she is in relationship with a young handsome guy on that site now. Is she single again?
In reiteration, I loathe this money-hungry, entitled, can't-let-go-of-celebrity, hag.
Vadge needs to gain some weight. And Lourdes' unibrow should be fixed, ugh.
Also, has Vadge had chicken cutlets done? Her cheekbone area has looked weird for awhile now.
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"You better start thinking happy thoughts!"
http://www.myspace.com/artbybillie
Vadge is juicing at near competition-level.Her clit must look like a full on erection.Lourdes is not looking better as she ages.
I miss my avatar madonna
smoking some spliff and drinking vodka
....hit me up MK! ;)
and for some reason now,
i have the urge to go to a zoo to a lion and a baboon
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"Stanley, that better be me you're having sex with"
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Submitted by Snarkley on August 3, 2008 - 5:15am.
I'll bet when Michael K. farts it smells like there's a dead body in the room.
Snarkley, don't overthink the stink in MK's diet. lol
I ♥ your menu! Bloody hilarious!
Nothing's more hilarious (and pathetic) than a 50 year old woman who dresses like a 16 year old girl.
Madonna is NOT handling aging gracefully well.
LOL...and I just thought of something:
Performers have always worn masks and they've always been garish and extravagant. The only difference is that today's performers wear them on the inside of their skin. Because we've evolved! (Wait - that's TOTALLY the wrong word...hmmm...)Because we've made LOTS and LOTS of cool toys! It all makes so much sense to me now!
♥ ThreadKilla! / Lean Like a Chola / She's a Lady.
Miss American Dream.
She really spends the money on plastic surgery for herself so why not get your daughter laser hair removal? The mustache and unibrow need to go. In just another year or so we'll be seeing crotch shots of her when she follows in her mother's footsteps. That's gonna be one nasty bush.
Wow, that's a super healthy diet MK! Is that how you keep your girlish figure?? Ha ha!
Exercise: 3 hours of reality TV, bong hits and at least 1 hour of porn (to boost hand eye coordination skills)
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LMAO MK!!! Now that sounds like a great Sunday afternoon.
@FrappBloat:
That's what makes me the saddest. She was never such an incredible writer, singer, dancer...but she could help people think, somehow. So she helped women find confidence in their sexuality (especially women that are highly sexual) and she helped raise awareness about homosexuality and then she just had no where to go from there. Or she went the wrong way. If anyone should be able to age gracefully, it should be her - she should be part of the revolution that helps us get over our youth obsession. Instead, she's letting it eat her up. It's pathetic.
♥ ThreadKilla! / Lean Like a Chola / She's a Lady.
Miss American Dream.
I'm finding it interesting that she looks so bad and ill? Maybe she is ill, I don't know. Food poisoning or something? I'm sure people do get ill and go out and then get loads of press for looking weird. Like Katie Holmes did a while ago. I dunno though. Surely they can just stay indoors if that was the case.
she sure looks weird. I'd hate to be getting old in this youth obsessed celebrity culture. Interesting watching the desperation of those hanging on til the bitter end though!
Take note Vicky Beckham
Submitted by dementa on August 3, 2008 - 3:43am.
And it looks like the swelling in her cheeks has gone down, and her eyes aren't as horribly puffy as before. What confuses me is, why did the bitch show her face in public if she looked so awful and so obviously post-plastic-surgery
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Because everyone likes to hear how much "better" they look;)
♥ ThreadKilla! / Lean Like a Chola / She's a Lady.
Miss American Dream.
Sombody nudge MK, not just so he snorts and rolls over, but actually wakes up. Christina Applegate has breast cancer, but caught early and completely curable!
http://www.people.com/people/article/0,,20216649,00.html?xid=rss-tophead...
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"What? Salma was supposed to stuff her melonitas into a million-dollar wedding dress and marry that rich bitch without a prenup." - MK 07/18/08
I just want to hold Lourdes down and wax that unibrow right off. It looks so damn itchy.
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"What? Salma was supposed to stuff her melonitas into a million-dollar wedding dress and marry that rich bitch without a prenup." - MK 07/18/08
And I think people are right when they say she keeps her hair down to hide her scars...I always remember her with her hair all pulled back whenever she's working/working out.
♥ ThreadKilla! / Lean Like a Chola / She's a Lady.
Miss American Dream.
Submitted by name_optional on August 3, 2008 - 9:34am.
nice ufcking arms Iggy Pop!
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She does! She looks like Iggy Pop. She's really for real gonna look like him in 5 years.
♥ ThreadKilla! / Lean Like a Chola / She's a Lady.
Miss American Dream.
Breakfast: 8 cups of coffee with sugar and Coffee-Mate (french vanilla), 2 Pillsbury Toaster Strudels, a big glass of Tang and 2 Bagel-Fuls.
Lunch: 1 A&W Cream Soda, 2 servings of Easy Mac (their servings are small), 1 Mexican style Hot Pocket and your choice of a frozen Snickers or 1 Nilla Cakester.
Snack: Kraft Easy Cheese on Fritos or saltines with Kraft slices melted over them. Wash it down with a chocolate Slim-Fast shake.
Dinner: 4 vodka tonics and your choice of American (McDonald's), Cajun (Popeye's), Mexican (Taco Bell or Chipolte), Japanese (Top Ramen from the corner deli), Italian (Olive Garden) or seafood (Red Lobster). I would say Chinese, but we don't have P.F. Chang's or Panda Express around these parts which really sucks.
Exercise: 3 hours of reality TV, bong hits and at least 1 hour of porn (to boost hand eye coordination skills)
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That's my new diet, right there, that's gold. You need to patent that shit and you need to write a friggin' diet book!
Bwahahahahaha!!!!!!
www.myspace.com/mle62
nice ufcking arms Iggy Pop!
She really must be gunning for the role of Riff Raff in the new Rocky Horror remake...
It's hard to look both emaciated and over muscular at the same time. She looks like she needs to be on Lexapro.
Any publicity is good publicity-I'm sure that's Madonna's philosophy. So even though she looks like butt, she's going to milk every minute of it, in hopes that she can sell just one more overpriced concert ticket.
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yeah, Weepy Vadge
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I wonder why Bloomingdale's isn't running to create this look in their windows
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god knows they haven't had an idea in 20 years
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Cheekbone implants + cheek fat pad removal = this. Choose your plastic surgery carefully kiddies.
Plus you know she's tooling Lourdes to have the Freda Kahlo look. "When I was younger I had gigantic eyebrows. Your look can be moustache and unibrow! Oh, how trendy!" The kid will be the spokesperson for Nad's by her 16th birthday.