30 Fucking Pages!
This is Saint Angelina laughing at us for already making plans to rush to the newsstands on Monday morning to plop down a few dollars for 30 pages of pictures of her precious twin messiahs. Yes, 30 fucking pages of baby pictures alone. Gawker reports that the hos at People closed the issue last night and the entire spread clocks in at around 30 pages.
I don't even want to look at 30 pages of pictures of babies I'm related to! I mean, what the hell? Here's a picture of Hard Knox with his eyes closed! Here's a picture of Vivie with her eyes closed! Oh! Here's another picture of Hard Knox with his eyes closed and his mouth is open. What's sad is, I'm still going to carefully analyze all 30 pages. I hate myself.
It was rumored that People and Hello! Magazine bought the rights for around $10-$15 million. A source told AP that the final number was $14 million. The cash will go to a foundation created by Brangelina that helps children around the world.
People should seriously find ways to make more money off of these pictures. They could put out a coffee table book and sell t-shirts. Shit, they should make wallet-sized versions of the pictures. That way Brangaloonies can carry them around in their wallets and easily show friends pictures of their "best friends' babies." Seriously, Brangaloonies will look at their friends with glazed eyes and say, "You want to see pictures of the most beautiful humans in the entire history of the world? Say yes or I'll cut you."
And in case you haven't already tattooed it onto your forehead, the first picture of the golden twins will be on People's website tomorrow at 7pm EST.
30 photo's and not one of James Haven. crap.
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See James Haven in an Oscar winning performance!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2w9cKFiCrSU
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How utterly ridiculous.
ONLY ONE HOUR AND SEVEN MINUTES TO GO...
I bought a generator today to keep my computer powered in the event of a surge on the power grid (CAUSED BY EVERYONE TURNING ON THEIR COMPUTER AT 6:59PM EDT)
Their kids are adorable (although I usually think all kids are) but that doesnt change the fact that you can totally tell they are all spoiled rotten! Especially Shiloh.
Any picture you see of the entire family together Angie and Brad seem altogether disinterested in what most of the kids are doing or playing with, while Shiloh is usually pouting or has some nasty look on her face.
30 pages for the couple who wants the press to leave them and their children alone. 14 million for the humanitarians who are focused on wordly issues. These two make me sick. The are so self-focused and hypocritical. They manipulate the press and complain about the press. I really wish they would never come back to the states and take their act far, far away! People used to be interested in Jolie and Pitt because they were decent actors with some appealing qualities. That was then. This is now. At this point, Jolie and Pitt are now much in the same league as a bad car accident on the freeway. The scene is horrific, damaging to innocent others, just hideously grotesque and could have been prevented. You know it is tacky to look but you just can't help gawking at the mess. Yuck. I won't be buying a copy of People.
That money better go to a charity or a foundation, because I don't even know why pics of her precious children should be worth so much. It's really exploitative!
Your face!
Angie probably gets off on a Sybian made out of hundred dollar bills.
☠
"Martha Stewart, Oprah, your wife. You gotta fuck one, kill one, and marry one. Who do you pick?"
http://www.myspace.com/zoloftpony
No, Julia Roberts started it all or gave Brad the idea.. she released a picture of her twins for a donation to charity and to secure the privacy and the safety of her children.. she released a statement regarding it..
Oh Christmas...seriously????
Modianos - that was the best suggestion I have seen in a long time. Thumbs up.
DAMNIT! I can't believe I missed this! Sigh.
Off-Topic: I watched Harold and Kumar Escape from Guantanamo Bay last night and almost shit my pants when the guy was wearing a shirt that said "I heart Smegma."
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Proactiv ain't got nothin' on bloopin', baby.
I wonder if there will be pics of James Haven and his crazy eyes with the blobs..Personally, I won't pay to see those two kids, there will pics all over the internet the next day..I think its disgusting what the mags pay for pics of children..I have great respect for the stars who don't pimp out thier kids...Nicole Kidman..Halle Berry...Julia Roberts...
LMTO @ KA
You hold the bitch down, and I'll yank at the ring.
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Bill Hicks - Arizona Bay
www.youtube.com/watch?v=vpmgO4BTNCc
I WANT THAT DAMN RING SHE'S WEARING! I couldn't give two shits about her pussy baby-daddy or that mini United Nations she has going there with all the kids. I just want that ring.
It probably just looks identical to every other baby I've seen.
Baby photos are the most fucking boring thing to look at ever. And this couple is the most unlikeable, boring, smug couple I've ever seen.
Since I'm too lazy to check, I'm waiting for some Angeloonie troll to appear and tell us all how we're so jealous of Angelina Jolie.
So whose cock did you have to suck for that contract, sweetheart?
Submitted by NaNoop on August 2, 2008 - 8:18pm.
The last statement you made just about sums it up in my opinion, also. These two are high on god-like worship, and the $$$ is probably equally orgasm inducing coupled with the dumbasses speaking in tongues at the mere thought of these "do gooders"
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Hahaha, you just gave me a visual of Angie obtaining orgasms by thinking about all the Loonies while rolling on her bed in hundred dollar bills! God knows, I'm sure little BradBrad doesn't give her orgasms anymore.
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Dlisted's a hellava drug.
"Paris is fucking lame. She's more offensive to me than anything. She's a total, raging, disgusting, rich, lazy party slut. I pray that my daughter will not turn out like her." - Dave Grohl
She is my favorite. Someone told me she is datting a young billlionaire on -"""""""""C e l e b C u p i d.c o m"""""""". What kind of relationship she is looking for on that site? Long-term relationship or just a date?
Submitted by radio siren on August 3, 2008 - 12:40am.
Submitted by Aphid on August 2, 2008 - 7:23pm.
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Dayum! I thought those were scars.
♥ ThreadKilla! / Lean Like a Chola / She's a Lady.
Miss American Dream.
Submitted by Aphid on August 2, 2008 - 7:23pm.
P.S. She's almost got that Billy Bob dragon tattoo covered up with her crotch goblin latitude/longitude tattoos. Two more oughta do the trick!
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Aphid, I was just thinking that that botched/lasered BB tattoo with the other on top of it looks pretty jacked up from where I'm sitting...imagine what it looks like in person? Probably looks like she's got a bad case of gangrene.
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Dlisted's a hellava drug.
"Paris is fucking lame. She's more offensive to me than anything. She's a total, raging, disgusting, rich, lazy party slut. I pray that my daughter will not turn out like her." - Dave Grohl
@drinksonme
Not sure what your referring to..something I said?
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*I used to Love Celebrities, now I just love to Hate them!*
Submitted by radio siren on August 2, 2008 - 7:44pm.
So, according to the tax documents that DD posted, they "contributed" a total of 8 million dollars, only about $2.5 million of which was actually set aside for "charitable" uses and expenses; only $38,000 or so was actually recorded as given to charitable "activities." Then they were only taxed about $1,500 and they didn't want to pay that, so they filed for an extension. Tacky, cheap-ass bastards!
I really have a bad feeling that all of their charity donations are nothing more than a smokescreen for making themselves look like do-gooders while getting huge breaks on their taxes at the same time.
The last statement you made just about sums it up in my opinion, also. These two are high on god-like worship, and the $$$ is probably equally orgasm inducing coupled with the dumbasses speaking in tongues at the mere thought of these "do gooders"
Submitted by Team Valtrex on August 2, 2008 - 6:34pm.
I must camp out in front of my local convenience store and be sure to get the first copy. Then I must run home, put on some music, light some candles, and open it up. Then I must smear feces on each and every page, wrap it in plastic, and mail it to Angie.
Oh, man TV that was hysterical!!! Thanks for the cackle inducing imagery !!!!
So, according to the tax documents that DD posted, they "contributed" a total of 8 million dollars, only about $2.5 million of which was actually set aside for "charitable" uses and expenses; only $38,000 or so was actually recorded as given to charitable "activities." Then they were only taxed about $1,500 and they didn't want to pay that, so they filed for an extension. Tacky, cheap-ass bastards!
I really have a bad feeling that all of their charity donations are nothing more than a smokescreen for making themselves look like do-gooders while getting huge breaks on their taxes at the same time.
________________________
Dlisted's a hellava drug.
"Paris is fucking lame. She's more offensive to me than anything. She's a total, raging, disgusting, rich, lazy party slut. I pray that my daughter will not turn out like her." - Dave Grohl
OMG..if it is 30 pages then it is covering the life and times of the B, the A, the M, the Z, the African coming of S , the P and then have like two pages of the K and V and the rest of the expected damn alphabet they plan on adopting, conceiving both naturally and thorough a cup/baster combo... no way it is all the twins!
And that coming form a BAMZSPKV lover!
P.S. She's almost got that Billy Bob dragon tattoo covered up with her crotch goblin latitude/longitude tattoos. Two more oughta do the trick!
Peaches let's all go over to Loonieville and give them junior ho's a trick or two how to greet Skanlina's spawn.
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Who was that guy last night,he left the seat up damn!
Submitted by Mr. President on August 2, 2008 - 7:04pm.
If there is any justice in this world, some prankster at People will have photoshopped James Haven's face onto the babies' heads.
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Hahaha! I'd buy a subscription if that were the case.
If it's 30 pages it must be a special issue and not like a regular people. That being said, I highly doubt it. People is baiting and when the issue comes out it will be only like 4 pages! LMAO!!!! Anyway congrats to the ever growing Jolie Pitt family. I guess there are 2 more to come according to Brad.
If there is any justice in this world, some prankster at People will have photoshopped James Haven's face onto the babies' heads.
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"I think we'll need some more FBI guys."
Submitted by Team Valtrex on August 2, 2008 - 9:34pm.
I must camp out in front of my local convenience store and be sure to get the first copy. Then I must run home, put on some music, light some candles, and open it up. Then I must smear feces on each and every page, wrap it in plastic, and mail it to Angie.
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well you better tape it and put it on you tube!
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The impressions fans have of celebrities are always fictional. - Stephen King
I was going to teach CPR lifesaving techniques, but I'm going online instead to see some Brangie babies.
☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺
Fame was like a drug, but what was even more like a drug were the drugs. ~Homer Simpson
Submitted by DebFrmHell on August 2, 2008 - 10:46pm.
I'll get right on that, Deb. I'll spend the day at Guido Beach and I'll have enough to gum up newsstands across the Northeast.
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"I think we'll need some more FBI guys."
Tommorow at 7 PM I will either be here on Dlisted, or looking at internet Porn!
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*I used to Love Celebrities, now I just love to Hate them!*
Maybe if we just scotch tape a used condom to the whole bundle that will dissuade the vendors! You men on the DL better get busy. You have a job to do.
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...whatever.
Submitted by lara on August 2, 2008 - 10:34pm.
yes Brangelina may think they're children are perfect, but newsflash, Suri is cuter than Shiloh, And I've seen plenty of babies in the street who are cuter than Shiloh. Don't get me wrong, shiloh is a cute little girl, but she'd be far cuter if she smiled for once!!
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*I used to Love Celebrities, now I just love to Hate them!*
When I was a kid, I bought a Big Gulp at 7Eleven and accidentally spilled it all over the magazines at the counter. Tomorrow, I'm going to go for the Super Big Gulp. It won't be an accident this time.
Goodnight Carti.
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"I think we'll need some more FBI guys."
NItey, Nite Carti! Rest up it is a big day tomorrow...
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...whatever.
Submitted by cartimandua on August 2, 2008 - 10:05pm.
apple - YES...I've also thought Brad Pitt was trying to crawl into the skin of anyone to avoid being himself. So true...right down to the matching hairdos. Hard to imagine, but apparently deep down he thinks he sucks to be him.
That's sad, The truth is, none of us know who he is. We know who angelina is to some extent, but Brad, It's like we never knew this guy, He just conformed sooo much, to His Girlfriends standards, and to Hollywood standards, Some people with Big Ego's genuinly ARE in love with themselves, Like Donald Trump, but many seem to hate themselves. I don't necessarily think he's hidng being gay, I think maybe he did that stuff just to get acting gigs, but I do believe he's straight. I think he's ashamed because of the fact that he comes from a nice midwestern family, with a religious christian upbringing, Which is everything Hollywood despises. Maybe when he goes and votes, he actually votes republican and doesn't tell anyone. And think, he didn't bother to help any flood victims in Iowa. Hollywood has made him hate who he really is, and it's actually quite heartbreaking, Fuck I'm starting to choke up! I hope that doesn't make me a Brangeloonie! I'd feel sad for ANY Person who feels they have to hide who they are. I've read he had a happy childhood, He was well liked in HS and in college, Some girl who dated him in college said how they all loved brad and they miss him. Hollywood is full of the people who were outcasts, the all american boy is considered the enemy to them, and they must have convinced Brad who he was was a bad person!!! What a damn Shame!
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*I used to Love Celebrities, now I just love to Hate them!*
Literally snorting out loud at you funny, funny people!! And on that wonderfully original last note featured in TV's post, I must say good night! Gotta rest up....our big Golden Blob Day is almost here.
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"Africa is sexy and people need to know that." Bono
Gossip blogs were much more interesting before Britney got grounded.
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Lois: Oh, my God! You can only play the piano when you're drunk!
Peter: That's not true! I can also vomit, fall down and make dirty calls to your sister when I'm drunk!
A pantie free freckle fuckery cannot save us now...
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...whatever.
I must camp out in front of my local convenience store and be sure to get the first copy. Then I must run home, put on some music, light some candles, and open it up. Then I must smear feces on each and every page, wrap it in plastic, and mail it to Angie.
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Lois: Oh, my God! You can only play the piano when you're drunk!
Peter: That's not true! I can also vomit, fall down and make dirty calls to your sister when I'm drunk!
omg yes. you said everything i was thinking, but my english is very bad. i believe all this baby photo mania started when people were making crazy speculation about suri. everybody was saying she is not real. tom was forced to do the vanity fair spread in my opinion. anyway, i don't care about the twins, but i'd like to see more suri. she is a cutie..he he
Submitted by lara on August 2, 2008 - 10:07pm.
14 million??? i believe this will backfire. what happened to tom cruise will be nothing. people will start to hate them. to get this kind of money to show pics of your children is not normal.
Exactly!!!!! And the only reason Tommy Girl put suri on the cover of Vanity fair is everyone was speculating she wasn't real, or thier was something wrong with her. After all this baby whoring, I got say maybe we shouldn't have done that to Tommy Girl, even though he's a crazy ass scientologist! And he doesn't seem to hold his adopted children in a different regard than Suri! When Shiloh was Born, Brad was like "oh she's the best thing I've ever done, She's the best thing that happened to me!" As if Maddox and Zahara don't mean shit to him! When Tom was asked if having a biological child feels better than adopting, He said "It doesn't feel better, it feels different" Hey, I gotta give him credit for that!
Maybe Brit will save us from the big event dominating the gossip scene. Please Brit, could you please, please, please commit some act of gross fuckery before the pics are released tomorrow. Perhaps you could rob a Starbucks or fuck Adnan in front of City Hall. Something, anything. I would be forever grateful.
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"I think we'll need some more FBI guys."
OH MY DOG OH MY DOG OH MY DOG...
IN LESS THE 22 HOURS WE CAN SEE THE COVER OF THE PEOPLE MAGAZINE WITH THE TWINS !!!!!!
OH MY DOG OH MY DOG OH MY DOG OH MY DOG
OH MY DOG OH MY DOG OH MY DOG OH MY DOG
OH MY DOG OH MY DOG OH MY DOG OH MY DOG
((rolling on floor having a giggle fit!))
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...whatever.
Hey, Mr. P
Happy Birthday, Deb!!!
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Lois: Oh, my God! You can only play the piano when you're drunk!
Peter: That's not true! I can also vomit, fall down and make dirty calls to your sister when I'm drunk!
Submitted by cartimandua on August 2, 2008 - 10:15pm.
Oh yeah I forgot some stuff, yes, he'd definatly be more selfless! He'd have lots of pets! He'd especially love the little bunny rabbits and little chinchillas! He'd start helping the Humane society, even help me spread the message to stop making chinchillas into fur coats cause they are too cute! and he'd be Sooo MUCH Nicer to his fans, He'd start his own official website (I don't have my own website, but I'd tell him to make one for himself) and an official myspace page, he'd hire back his PR bitch, and finally, No More bodygaurds!!( unless he has a serious threat against him like Russell Crowe did back in '02, after that was resolved, Crowe got rid of the bodygaurds)!!
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*I used to Love Celebrities, now I just love to Hate them!*
Submitted by Team Valtrex on August 2, 2008 - 10:22pm.
30 pages to remember them by before she forces the blobs into work at the Jolie-Pitt sweatshop to support the adoptees, the real chosen ones.
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I thought that was James Haven's job. Hi TV.
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"I think we'll need some more FBI guys."
30 pages to remember them by before she forces the blobs into work at the Jolie-Pitt sweatshop to support the adoptees, the real chosen ones.
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Lois: Oh, my God! You can only play the piano when you're drunk!
Peter: That's not true! I can also vomit, fall down and make dirty calls to your sister when I'm drunk!
HAHAHAHA!
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...whatever.
Happy Birfday Deb!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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*I used to Love Celebrities, now I just love to Hate them!*