TGIF!!!
What are you doing this weekend? I know what I'm doing. I'm totally going to the Jersey Shore to party with these amazing individuals. The Dirty went to Jersey to do a casting call for a new show called "Guido Beach."
If you've got a dirty vagina or asshole, watch all 7-minutes of it. You will walk away squeaky clean thanks to the douche overload in this shit. The saddest part is that I'd probably do sexy times with 100% of these dick bags.
Brendan, I'd hit it. Dino, I'd hit it. Krystel, I'd hit it. Mike, I'd hit it. Jon, I'd hit it. Jen, I'd definitely hit it.
Seriously, Jen and her mother are the hottest bitches in this mess! Fast forward to around the 5-minute mark to watch them in all their douche glory. Jen's ex-boyfriend's new chick shows up and well....you'll see. At the end, one douche perfectly sums it up by saying, "That's gold! That's liquid gold!" Damn right it is!
Thanks kdracofan
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Submitted by zomay on August 1, 2008 - 1:55pm.
Ahahahaha! Exactly my point!!! Since I knew better because I was raised here, I avoided PB like the plauge. My fiance did not, and he just had a dream of owning a place on the beach. Poor baby did not do his research, and I love him, so despite the area, I moved in with him. Luckily, he owns another condo in Ocean Beach, which I know is trashy, but I love it there. It's just a bunch of dirty hippies. More my style, lol.
If that bitch was talking about Mexicans in a bad tone out here though, she would have her ass kicked all over the place. We have the cholas, lots of them!! And people really refer to places like "jewville?" Maybe because it is such a big melting pot out here people really don't say things like that, out loud at least.
I'd guess Belmar is "Guido Beach." That's where they all flock to for the sand and the nightlife.
Here's a delicious little story from Belmar, NJ: Recently, the mayor of Belmar has been getting pretty sick of all the trashy guidos in town and very publicly said so. NJ12 did coverage on the story, and lo and behold, tons of guidos who were interviewed by the newscaster were uttering such colorful phrases to the mayor as "fuck you," "suck my cock," and "shut the fuck up, asshole." Such charm, such couth!
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Sorrow is knowledge, those that know the most must mourn the deepest, the tree of knowledge is not the tree of life. -- Lord Byron
tangerine you are in Pacific Beach? Good Lord that is "THE SHORE" of San Diego!!
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I have lived in San Diego my whole life so I have never heard or seen of this Jersey Shore place. I can tell you though, that there are douchebags in everytown. That is why I am getting the hell out of Pacific Beach. We too have dudes that sport faux hawks and pop their collars. Ugh. I was at a bar once and my friend and I walked up to a guy and put his collar down for him. Guess he didn't take the hint and popped it right back up. ::shakes head::
Callan: they come from all over! but yes North Jersey is full of them
Submitted by tweedlebugb on August 1, 2008 - 1:44pm.
damn i hate jersey.
NY RULES!!!
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I got news for you, almost all of these people are from North Jersey exclusively, and another big chunk comes from Staten Island. Did you hear about the letter that the mayor of Belmar wrote about Staten Island guidos?
Ugh and that girl from Toms River, I am so disappointed in her. Don't encourage that North Jersey guido trash.
HAhahahaha!!! Idiots!
"jewville"? really?
traaaaaash.
by E.A.P. on August 1, 2008 - 3:38pm.
Kdracofan, I know we're from around the same area and we can attest that this specie does not reside in our neck of the woods (at least not anymore). This was definitely entertaining.
Thanks.
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Your welcome
*hangs her head in shame* I am close to Hoboken...and we have some there.....*wheeps*
What was up with the dude wearing the sports jacket? lmao
"I'm a girl's guy"-Jen
I wish the new girlfriend totally kicked her ass HA!
MK will you marry me?
fast forwarded to the end to jen and her equally hot mom...and now my asshole's squeaky clean too...again, thanks!
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butt sex can lead to ass babies...be sure to use a condom...
I'm a California transplant now living in New Jersey. I made the mistake one summer of going down to the beach. (That's right...I called it a beach, not a shore! I REFUSE to call it "The Shore"!) and I saw all of this first hand. Never going there again!
Now I wait until I fly back to Orange County, CA to go the beach.
"All Those Who Wander Are Not Lost."
I've lived in Jersey most of my life and have never, for the life of me, heard of Guido Beach. That's insane.
Kdracofan, I know we're from around the same area and we can attest that this specie does not reside in our neck of the woods (at least not anymore). This was definitely entertaining.
Thanks.
Do any Joiseyites know of any good beaches left in the shore?
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He is my favorite. Just saw his personals ID on millionaires personals site """""""""C e l e b C u p i d.c o m""""""""""""" yesterday. I am wondering what kind of relationship he is looking for on that site.
greasy hair, a suit at the beach, dumb skanky girls with their mothers watching this is the reality show you were looking for
Frankly my dear, I don't give a Damn!! "Rhett Butler"
"Try to breed a kid my size, so he can bounce."
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So now besides murder and heroin, Toms River will also be known for spawning these freaks.
I'm starting to rethink admitting TR as me home.
ah...i watched about 30 seconds of douche and douchettes on my screen and my vagina is now squeaky clean...thanks a bunch...
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butt sex can lead to ass babies...be sure to use a condom...
when dino was dancin with the broken leg do you think he just went in circles?~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I haven't attacked anyone or named called. I guess, I named called some today. - Submitted by HEART ANGELINA
Wigger Beach.
Obama/Spears 08
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Blogs aren't for the sensitive at heart - FU
I'm NOT an economist, I'm an optimist. GW Bush
Submitted by BRADIFUL BITCH on August 1, 2008 - 2:56pm.
Guido Beach, I can already smell the Drakkar Noir, Farenheit, Axe Body spray from here.
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Drakkar Noir is probably the most digusting cologne out there. My stomach turns, just saying Drakkar.
awww thanks deedee :) nice to be back...cept for the grease all over my new keyboard from watching that vid :/ damn i need to update my sig...
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I haven't attacked anyone or named called. I guess, I named called some today. - Submitted by HEART ANGELINA
fuckin' *foul*
'Heaux Confessionals'
www.myspace.com/triston
Submitted by mippy on August 1, 2008 - 2:06pm.
...and thats why i dont go to belmar. gunnison beach sandy hook, that's the non-guido place to be!
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Now you're talkin'!
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Sorrow is knowledge, those that know the most must mourn the deepest, the tree of knowledge is not the tree of life. -- Lord Byron
I sort of love Jen. Definitely Hot Slut of the Week, right there.
Submitted by modianos on August 1, 2008 - 2:19pm.
looks like they all drank a big glass of retardation before started taping
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Bwahahahaha! Nice to have you back.
☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺
Fame was like a drug, but what was even more like a drug were the drugs. ~Homer Simpson
Submitted by BRADIFUL BITCH on August 1, 2008 - 2:08pm.
Your Mom Ate th... on August 1, 2008 - 2:59pm
And hair petrified in pomade and gel, freshly shaven chests and more St. Anthony/insert random St. medallion necklaces than a 7-11 at the Vatican.
Will they invite the Pope?
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I think the Pope disowned these people.
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Sorrow is knowledge, those that know the most must mourn the deepest, the tree of knowledge is not the tree of life. -- Lord Byron
*whispering to Shoo Shoo* Thank you hun!
*waving*
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"D-Listed is like chicks who hang out together for a long time- they start getting their periods the same day.
All d-listed sluts start to think exactly alike after a while. LOLOLOLOL" Mel-tang!
True story: On my recent trip to Vegas, my gf's and I met a group of Guidos from....COLORADO. LOL
They said that once they got home they were having a 'down the shore' themed party.
Sad I tell you.
looks like they all drank a big glass of retardation before started taping
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I haven't attacked anyone or named called. I guess, I named called some today. - Submitted by HEART ANGELINA
LOL! I loved it!
and yay to kdraco for getting the shoutout!
Every state (and country) has their own version of guido trash (ever been to Hull in England or the Inland Empire, CA). New Jersey just happens to have really the most fabulous trash in the world.
Your welcome MK.....
I LIVE IN NJ AND I HATE THE JERSEY SHORE thanks to these jerks!
PS: Thanks to "G" she sent me the video and
PS2: Is there a guido beach for real? BAWWAHHHHAHHHAHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHAAA!
God I miss the east coast. I'll stick to Stone Harbor and bypass Wildwood, thanks.
That girl had to make up for her homely mug and high pitched voice by being a slut who puts out or "can't stay faithful" as she put it. And Tom's River is a money area- how can she hail from that town? No way. She's lying.
Your Mom Ate th... on August 1, 2008 - 2:59pm
And hair petrified in pomade and gel, freshly shaven chests and more St. Anthony/insert random St. medallion necklaces than a 7-11 at the Vatican.
Will they invite the Pope?
/\
Madolyn: What do you expect coming in here?
Billy Costigan: I have to come here.
Madolyn: I know you have to come here, but now that you're here, what do you want?
Billy Costigan: You want the truth? Valium.
As a native Philadelphian who used to run into these types on South Street back in my heyday the only words I can offer are, "Fucking Jersey". They really do make you shake your head in disbelief.
Love the subtle bigotry of the chicks though, that was precious. *snark*
OMG. LMAO. This is precisely why you would never catch me at the Jersey shore, even though I am from Jersey. Not all people from Jersey are like this, it gives Jersey a bad rap. That trash girl Jen is from where I live, this is a really nice area her mom and her do not look they are from here. Anyone with any class, money or substance would not be caught dead in this type of place. Same typical trash you see in So. Florida, BK, LI, SI etc. All the same shit, NY is just as bad if not worse. Were all connected by bridges anyway there are PLENTY of guidos from SI, LI and NY at the Jersey Shore trust me.
Don't even tell me that they don't have douche bags in every state cuz they do they are all just molded differently.
Ps. No one drives I-ROCS in Jersey anymore, these asshats all drive 3 or 5 series, tinted out, shaved with rims and they bump freestyle and bad techno/trance. BMW's are the new I-ROC in Jersey. Ugh.
'Young guns having some fun, crazy ladies keep em on the run. Wise guys, realize theres danger in emotional ties. See me single and free, no tears, no fears what I want to be. One two take a look at you, DEATH BY MATRIMONY.'
...and thats why i dont go to belmar. gunnison beach sandy hook, that's the non-guido place to be!
all the security had to say was ma'am put the beer down?
this is the biggest hot mess i've seen since bobby sticking his fingas up you know who's you know what
Is there really a beach called "Guido Beach?" Seriously!?
"I'm the whoriest whore whoever whored and I still wouldn't get with that." ~ MK
It's really good to know that Jon has high expectations for his soon-to-be bred-kid-his-size !
Aim high my man...dream the dream !
My friends actually suggested going to the Jersey shore for our senior year spring break. After saying this, I will tell them "no thank you."
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Hi5.
Submitted by BRADIFUL BITCH on August 1, 2008 - 1:56pm.
Guido Beach, I can already smell the Drakkar Noir, Farenheit, Axe Body spray from here.
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Don't forget about the Cool Water by Davidoff.
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Sorrow is knowledge, those that know the most must mourn the deepest, the tree of knowledge is not the tree of life. -- Lord Byron
Guido Beach, I can already smell the Drakkar Noir, Farenheit, Axe Body spray from here.
/\
Madolyn: What do you expect coming in here?
Billy Costigan: I have to come here.
Madolyn: I know you have to come here, but now that you're here, what do you want?
Billy Costigan: You want the truth? Valium.
Yikes-ola!
I remember going down to the Jersey shore from NY when I was a teenager. Damn, we were tame. That's like....eek! I'm speechless.
I saw all of it and I feel squeaky clean but my IQ just dropped a couple of points. Maybe I should go to Guido Beach?
Jon looks like he can't even wipe his own ass, he probably has his mom do it. He sounds like a beheamouth, imagine him calling his momma "Mooooommaaaa!"
I need to call las cholas de tres puntos so Amy can tell them her boyfriend was married to a Mexican and then she can really go to Dr. Phil.
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La Baby Gurl Del South Con Tres Niño’s
Most of these greasy guys and some of the girls are "Fazzes" which is slang for FAT ASSES.
Submitted by NecieB on August 1, 2008 - 1:48pm.
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I live in Jersey as well, but I suspect these people came straight from the fiery depths of hell.
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Sorrow is knowledge, those that know the most must mourn the deepest, the tree of knowledge is not the tree of life. -- Lord Byron
Submitted by AriMarie on August 1, 2008 - 2:46pm.
Jersey is the best state in New Jersey...LMAO!!!!!
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And he was probably the valedictorian of his class. LMFAO!