This Sunday Is The Most Important Day Of Your Life
If you have plans this Sunday, cancel them all! If you're getting married, cancel it! If you're having a baby, cancel it! If you're dying that day, cancel it! Even if you're planning on going to church, cancel that. Actually, God may have already sent out a memo saying that church is closed this Sunday. What's the reason? It's only the most important day in all of our lives. People Magazine will unveil the first photo of the twin messiahs. The picture will make its debut on their website at 7pm EST. Set your alarm!
You must spend the day in your darkened bedroom with your eyes shut tight. You must prepare them for the sheer brilliance of the golden twins. I expect millions of people will temporarily be blinded by their magnificent beauty. Optometrists and ambulances will be standing by. You might want to wear a heart monitor too, just in case.
Yes, it's true. People Magazine won the exclusive rights for the first pictures of Brangelina's chosen twins. It's rumored that they paid around $10 to $15 million, a record. Of course, the money is going to charity. I think the name of the charity is the "We're Fucking Saints And You Know It Fund."
The international rights have reportedly been bought by HELLO! Magazine for around $15 million. HOLD THE FUCK UP! Are you telling me they are making around $30 million off of some measly pictures of some babies?! Oh shit. Did lightning just strike me for calling them "some babies." I apologize! Death, don't take me now!
UPDATE: According to WWD , People and Hello! will split the $10 to $15 million payout. Still! $15 million for a picture of some regular babies?! FUCK! Here comes that lightning again.
ShareThis
Laila on August 1, 2008 - 12:27pm.
BTW, why are so many of you convinced they’ll break up?
- Not that so many of us have invested giving thought to this, i have and I don't care what kind of fucked up relationship these two allegedly have/had, with the media thick and beyond knee deep around these two self indulged celebufucks, it's my hope and belief that The Brad will have finally had enough. He enjoyed is individual status before Skeletina threw herself at him.
I don't think they are what they appear to be anyway.
And Skeletina is big fat stoopid looser hwore.
/\
Madolyn: What do you expect coming in here?
Billy Costigan: I have to come here.
Madolyn: I know you have to come here, but now that you're here, what do you want?
Billy Costigan: You want the truth? Valium.
Viva La Lohan on August 1, 2008 - 10:58am.
I am in a really good mood today and I hope I can say this without incurring the wrath of my fellow horz...
The contempt and disgust that people show over these two is more tiresome than they are. You guys hold on to way too much venom, it can't be good for you. I mean by all means, hate away, but the depth and veracity with which some of you hate is kind of scary. Now, let's all hit this pipe and sing a round of Kumbaya!
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
I think that it has somthing to do with Dlisters needing balance. Now I can only speak for why I come to Dlisted. You see I work, take care of my kid, cook, clean, grocery shop, budget paychecks, wash my car, change the oil,(or pay someone), pump my own gas, laundry, landscaping, do my own makeup and hair,(rarely wear makeup) recycle as much as possible, conserve energy and water, etc...etc. Then comes along two, over blown, smug people. Lets call them "brangelina". I have to see their kids on magazines, while inline to pay for groceries. I have to turn on the news or turn on the computer and here about their latest movie, or their latest divine act of goodness. I have to here how good Angie Jo looks despite being pregnant with twins. Or that Bradly is once again leading the charge to help the needy or save the enviroment. All while an army of loooons walks the earth chanting that these two are Laxmi and Vishnu reincarnated.
I think that we are looking for some balance and truth.
@ VivaLaLohan
Not a problem. God, I can't get enough of that crazy Scientology shit. It's so damn scary.
I knew I knew that quote from somewhere.... it had just the right amount of crazy in it that made me go, "That's gotta be Scientology."
hell yes it is, callan, and actually, THANK YOU FOR POSTING in the Tom Cruise thread. I watched that vid and was cracking up, wanted to give you props but was too lazy to wade through all the $cieno madness to see who I got the link from
♪♫•♪♫•♪♫•♪♫•♪♫•♪♫•♪♫•♪♫•♪♫•♪♫•♪♫•♪♫•♪♫•♪♫•♪♫•♪♫•♪♫•
he said he'd love me forever, if I would only smoke crack with him
These actors have a major fuckin Problem in that they can't determine their working chemistry between genuinly falling in Love!!! It seems that unlike us, they don't realize that "It's Only a Movie"! Their therapists need to work on this issue with them!!!! If they haven't noticed, actors like Patrick Dempsey who marry women who are not entertainers or Models are the most happily married men I've ever seen, Actor or not! being around crazy actresses and models, they genuinly apreciate a woman not invoved in that, because they are grounded and sane! The Only way Brad will ever get the all american family that I think his heart desires, is to stay the FUCK away from actresses and models! Fat chance, I know!
-------------------------------------------------------------
*I used to Love Celebrities, now I just love to Hate them!*
@ Viva La Lohan
Is your signature from the Scientology videos on YouTube???? If not, then watch the anti-drug ones on the CoS channel. I'm pretty sure someone says that in the video.
Thanks Deb! you strum a mean guitar. Hey have you seen Dot {.}? I haven't talked to her in a while, getting a little worried.
♪♫•♪♫•♪♫•♪♫•♪♫•♪♫•♪♫•♪♫•♪♫•♪♫•♪♫•♪♫•♪♫•♪♫•♪♫•♪♫•♪♫•
he said he'd love me forever, if I would only smoke crack with him
I'll say this again, I REALLY hope Johnny Depp won't disapoint us, and bring his children over to the Jolie-Pitts for playdates!!!!!
-------------------------------------------------------------
*I used to Love Celebrities, now I just love to Hate them!*
She's got really ugly hands.
____________________________________
La Baby Gurl Del South Con Tres Niño’s
Submitted by day shift stripper on August 1, 2008 - 1:20pm.
$15 million dollars for baby pictures, and I can't even pay my student loans.
---------------------------
We're in the same boat. It nauseates me, too. Also, think about all the people whose houses are being foreclosed upon.
Submitted by Gonnaburn... on August 1, 2008 - 2:10pm.
Sounds cool! Sometimes I wish we had Halloween - I'd love to do the whole dress up thing.
$15 million dollars for baby pictures, and I can't even pay my student loans.
Sick.
☠
"Martha Stewart, Oprah, your wife. You gotta fuck one, kill one, and marry one. Who do you pick?"
http://www.myspace.com/zoloftpony
Do you mean to say that nobody has had a vision of them yet at Lourdes?
Submitted by Red on August 1, 2008 - 2:07pm
I saw her this past Haloween in Pittsburgh and she looked smokin'. Her daughter was there too. Everyone was dressed in costumes. Much fun!
Submitted by Two Drink Min on August 1, 2008 - 1:52pm.
Red, I love your av, though my fave is "Cool on your Island" from "Y Kant Tori Read?"
****
Never had a chance to hear that - very hard to find.
Submitted by Stoney on August 1, 2008 - 2:02pm.
The Brangeloonies are militant. I fear riots in the street when they realize their heroine is batshit crazy. We are just going to have to plan a dlisted reunion in twenty years, when all her kiddies grown and taking over the streets in hollywood! Oh the fun we are going to have!
@Viva,
Here is my "free hug" for the day. lol.
**pulling up a log to sit by Viva at the campfire, grabbing guitar and tuning up for the slightly off key DL rendition of Kumbaya**
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
...whatever.
Submitted by Aunt Bea on August 1, 2008 - 12:58pm.
Sorry, but I had to fight that very same issue with an uninformed brangeloonie on the jury this week, lol. She was all, I thought they got married? I was all, um no, they's still be havin' bastards!
I don't think she liked that very much.
__________________________________________
"yes, DUH, I am a low rent whore"
Kant even find that music anywhere.
Hi PSL! xoxox
Submitted by Stoney on August 1, 2008 - 9:56am.
Submitted by Aphid on August 1, 2008 - 12:52pm.
No, WAY better. Long pink plastic nails, pink toenails and open-toed gold sandals, pants with jewels and sparklies going up and down them, and the longest, shiniest wig I ever saw!! Plus, she had an attitude the whole time, which was way hot. Her shirt actually may have had some type of fur trim on it, but I forced myself to try to pay more attention to what she was saying and not what she was wearing...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
AWESOME!! I'm so fuckin' jealous!
Submitted by Stoney on August 1, 2008 - 1:50pm.
OMG Angie and Brad are NOT married, people.
__________________________________________________
I never said they were married. But they have six kids, they should have a long term relationship don't you think? At least until the youngest are out of preschool.
Aphid darling!!!!!
TwoDrink, "bitch with a side a bitch"! LMAO
**************************************************
Is it my turn to totally understand, to watch you walk out of my life, and not do a damn thing?
-PM Dawn "Id Die Without You"
I am in a really good mood today and I hope I can say this without incurring the wrath of my fellow horz...
The contempt and disgust that people show over these two is more tiresome than they are. You guys hold on to way too much venom, it can't be good for you. I mean by all means, hate away, but the depth and veracity with which some of you hate is kind of scary. Now, let's all hit this pipe and sing a round of Kumbaya!
♪♫•♪♫•♪♫•♪♫•♪♫•♪♫•♪♫•♪♫•♪♫•♪♫•♪♫•♪♫•♪♫•♪♫•♪♫•♪♫•♪♫•
he said he'd love me forever, if I would only smoke crack with him
Submitted by Aphid on August 1, 2008 - 12:52pm.
No, WAY better. Long pink plastic nails, pink toenails and open-toed gold sandals, pants with jewels and sparklies going up and down them, and the longest, shiniest wig I ever saw!! Plus, she had an attitude the whole time, which was way hot. Her shirt actually may have had some type of fur trim on it, but I forced myself to try to pay more attention to what she was saying and not what she was wearing...
__________________________________________
"yes, DUH, I am a low rent whore"
I think it's cruel what they do to these kids. You barely ever see Johnny Depps kids. They create their own frenzy and then bitch about it.
Red, I love your av, though my fave is "Cool on your Island" from "Y Kant Tori Read?"
Submitted by Stoney on August 1, 2008 - 9:50am.
OMG Angie and Brad are NOT married, people.
Aphid, it was very exciting, but still pretty tedious. But I nearly pissed myself when Sergeant Caroline Mason herself walked into the courtroom right past me and sat on the witness stand!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I would have pissed myself.
Was she wearing one of her maribou-trimmed tops?
OMG Angie and Brad are NOT married, people.
Aphid, it was very exciting, but still pretty tedious. But I nearly pissed myself when Sergeant Caroline Mason herself walked into the courtroom right past me and sat on the witness stand!
__________________________________________
"yes, DUH, I am a low rent whore"
Submitted by angel_i on August 1, 2008 - 1:45pm.
There is no other place for her to go from here, angel_i.
She has to constantly top herself. I don't know about the kids though. I really doubt she will have triplets next, although she may adopt triplets from another country! I just don't see these two as the next Steve and Edie or Paul and Joanne.
*cue Phil Collins' song "In the Air"*
I can feel it coming in the air tonight, oh lord
I've been waiting for this moment, all my life, oh lord
Can you feel it coming in the air tonight, oh lord, oh lord.............
ON TOPIC: It's gonna rain frogs again. I know it.
~"~"~"~"~~Mess with me and I'll bite you!.....Monquita Loca~~"~"~"~"~
@RED
Love Tori too
Submitted by Aunt Bea on August 1, 2008 - 1:41pm.
Angie will finish out the decade with Brad, then she will steal some rich, foreigh leader from his wife. She will have met him on one of her humanitarian trips and they will fall madly in love. Brad will spill his tears in Tequila with another no talent, halfassed attractive actress in Hollywood.
********************************
Girlfriend, I do believe you ARE a psychic!
♥ ThreadKilla! / Lean Like a Chola / She's a Lady.
Miss American Dream.
If you have daughters, you should NEVER talk about how much you want a son, even if you add "but I love my girls!" at the end. It is guaranteed to make your daughters feel like utter crap. The fact that they don't understand it at this point isn't going to change the fact that their parents' every quote and exploit is posted all over the internet for everyone to see.
And when you sell out your twin messiahs to the highest bidder while parading your non-white kids in front of the paps on a daily basis, you are not exactly fostering a spirit of equality. Adoptive families who also have bio kids are SUPPOSED to do their DAMNDEST to ensure that the adopted kids feel as though they are equally loved and important. Anything else and you're just asking Mad and Pax to pull a Menendez.
When I look at how much perceived favoritism and bitterness there is just between my 4 siblings and myself (all biological), I can't see how these kids stand a chance of turning out well-adjusted.
Submitted by BRADIFUL BITCH on August 1, 2008 - 12:02pm.
No, I'm not toriaddict, I'm just me - long time lurker, sometime poster.
PSL - you make a good point. Half the time he spent with the other one...much like Angies face, everything has an expiration date and is easily replaced...shit did I say that. OH BTW - I quit smoking so expect bitch with a side of bitch.
Angie will finish out the decade with Brad, then she will steal some rich, foreigh leader from his wife. She will have met him on one of her humanitarian trips and they will fall madly in love. Brad will spill his tears in Tequila with another no talent, halfassed attractive actress in Hollywood.
STONEY! I am pea-green with envy.
I'd be way more excited about seeing the First 48 hot bitches than these two dumbasses.
Hey all, good Friday to you.
Submitted by angel_i on August 1, 2008 - 12:35pm.
No offense meant to you, personally. Just that reading this made me think: Now, that's sad. Three years married with that crazazy lifestyle is not long at all. If they make it another 2 I'll be shocked, in fact.
-------
Yeah I gave them the good ol' "they are self-absorbed celebrities with unrealistic expectations of others" handicap. Three years is a long time in Hollywood, not so much in the real world.
Hell, my parents have been together 31 years. That to me is practically unfathomable.
Submitted by Two Drink Min on August 1, 2008 - 1:35pm.
I MEANT throw...sorry...pissy today
angel_i - I think it was once said that Aniston
said she dealt with her divorce by screaming at the ocean. I can't get why loons hate her. All she did was marry Brad Pitt.
********************************
The best defense is a good offense.
♥ ThreadKilla! / Lean Like a Chola / She's a Lady.
Miss American Dream.
THREE YEARS is NOT a "long time"....talk to Tom Hanks/Rita Wilson, The Pinkett-Smiths, Paul Newman/Joanne Woodward......
didn't mean to yell...
**************************************************
Is it my turn to totally understand, to watch you walk out of my life, and not do a damn thing?
-PM Dawn "Id Die Without You"
Submitted by Callan on August 1, 2008 - 1:32pm.
I will give them some credit for sticking together this long and having so many kids.
*************************************
No offense meant to you, personally. Just that reading this made me think: Now, that's sad. Three years married with that crazazy lifestyle is not long at all. If they make it another 2 I'll be shocked, in fact.
♥ ThreadKilla! / Lean Like a Chola / She's a Lady.
Miss American Dream.
I MEANT throw...sorry...pissy today
angel_i - I think it was once said that Aniston
said she dealt with her divorce by screaming at the ocean. I can't get why loons hate her. All she did was marry Brad Pitt.
Oh and just to show how many closeted Brangaloonies there are: I used to work at Barnes & Noble in college and when the Shiloh pics were in People, we had a stream of customers who would walk in, flip through the pictures, and leave immediately. I guess they felt like if they didn't buy the magazine, they weren't buying into it.
Submitted by Laila on August 1, 2008 - 12:27pm.
BTW, why are so many of you convinced they’ll break up? I think they’ll stay together no come hell or high water. They’ve both invested far too much time, energy and pr into building up the Brangelina mythology to ever give it up. One or both might cheat if they get bored, but I don’t see them splitting.
-------------------
I will give them some credit for sticking together this long and having so many kids. I didn't think either of those things would happen.
However, Angelina is really screwed up and I happen to believe some of things her father says about her being nuts (even though he is batshit crazy too, must run in the family). She's been married twice before, she is a maneater. And Brad? While he may not have cheated on you-know-who, I do believe he had an affair of the heart.
It's just been my experience that people who get together under shady circumstances do not last. They both have enough money and clout that they don't need to be together to get more of both. I don't think that will be the reason they stay together if they do.
Wow, TwoDrink, I thought I was in a shit mood this morning....heehee
**************************************************
Is it my turn to totally understand, to watch you walk out of my life, and not do a damn thing?
-PM Dawn "Id Die Without You"
No wonder atheism, agnosticism, paganism, and Wicca is on the rise.
************************************************
I didn’t say that it was your fault – I said that I was going to blame you.
************************************************
These two are as comical as their stupid JJ following. I am sorry. I am in a rancid mood and quite frankly, those stupid loons need to take a fucking pill. Why do you worship someone that wouldn't piss on you to put you out???
Stupid. Yeah, I like Johnny Depp, but I am not a delusiod enough to stalk him out. Sure. If he wanted to, I'd though him a bang...but I am not concerned enough to be waiting and watching his every ass wipe. GET A LIFE! They don't love you back sickos.
Submitted by Two Drink Min on August 1, 2008 - 1:26pm.
WTF - I scream at the ocean daily..
****************************
I really would like to know how that got started.
I think they use it WAY too much but I like it, actually.
♥ ThreadKilla! / Lean Like a Chola / She's a Lady.
Miss American Dream.
I get the sense that the whole selling pictures thing is a ego stroking deal for these two. There’s nothing to stop them from contracting with a respectable photog agency like say Getty and simply releasing a few pictures for free. I think they love idea that they can command millions for their kids pics. Oh well I guess if some dumbass was willing to pay me millions every time I popped I’d take the money and run too.
BTW, why are so many of you convinced they’ll break up? I think they’ll stay together no come hell or high water. They’ve both invested far too much time, energy and pr into building up the Brangelina mythology to ever give it up. One or both might cheat if they get bored, but I don’t see them splitting.