This Sunday Is The Most Important Day Of Your Life
If you have plans this Sunday, cancel them all! If you're getting married, cancel it! If you're having a baby, cancel it! If you're dying that day, cancel it! Even if you're planning on going to church, cancel that. Actually, God may have already sent out a memo saying that church is closed this Sunday. What's the reason? It's only the most important day in all of our lives. People Magazine will unveil the first photo of the twin messiahs. The picture will make its debut on their website at 7pm EST. Set your alarm!
You must spend the day in your darkened bedroom with your eyes shut tight. You must prepare them for the sheer brilliance of the golden twins. I expect millions of people will temporarily be blinded by their magnificent beauty. Optometrists and ambulances will be standing by. You might want to wear a heart monitor too, just in case.
Yes, it's true. People Magazine won the exclusive rights for the first pictures of Brangelina's chosen twins. It's rumored that they paid around $10 to $15 million, a record. Of course, the money is going to charity. I think the name of the charity is the "We're Fucking Saints And You Know It Fund."
The international rights have reportedly been bought by HELLO! Magazine for around $15 million. HOLD THE FUCK UP! Are you telling me they are making around $30 million off of some measly pictures of some babies?! Oh shit. Did lightning just strike me for calling them "some babies." I apologize! Death, don't take me now!
UPDATE: According to WWD , People and Hello! will split the $10 to $15 million payout. Still! $15 million for a picture of some regular babies?! FUCK! Here comes that lightning again.
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LOL @ Carti,
I just knew somehow that you were John Mayer.
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...whatever.
sonah22 thats funny stuff.
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Submitted by cartimandua on August 1, 2008 - 3:38pm.
lol viva. I'll do that. I'll tell JA we all loved that dreadlocked red carpet 'do from a few years ago.
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Oh yeah that was pretty smokin hot
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he said he'd love me forever, if I would only smoke crack with him
*point and laugh, report abuse and move on. DO NOT ENGAGE. I repeat, DO NOT ENGAGE.
lol viva. I'll do that. I'll tell JA we all loved that dreadlocked red carpet 'do from a few years ago.
I actually took the John Mayer thing as a compliment....he's a very surprising, irreverent and funny guy. All attributes at the top o' MY 'must have'list.
But still...the loonacy of it all.
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"Africa is sexy and people need to know that." Bono
Bradiful-
She has fire- she has an Aries moon. And then water asc and venus, air merc and sun. Also lots of strong pluto but squares so that's where the power issues come from.
His capricorn needs someone down to earth--an earth sign would be best for him since he's much too stable to handle fire and air and water all at once...she too crazay for him! He was so vaginamatized and now she's dickmatized- clingy cancer venus.
I have a similar chart to hers (aries moon 8th hosue, pluto everywhere, venus cancer, merc gemini- very nutty). Cappy moon has depressed the shit out of me before- they just want a hut in the wilderness where they can plant gardens and sit. And watch shit grow. yawn.
www.whoneedstherapy.com
www.stuffethnicpeoplelike.com
On God...
Religion is a philosphy....
Morals can only be assumed....
The god you should worship, is the one that tells you all the right things to do....
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Ill smoke crack with you....
Submitted by cartimandua - John Mayer? I knew that was you! Tell Jennifer that it would not kill her to throw a curl or two in her hair.
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he said he'd love me forever, if I would only smoke crack with him
*point and laugh, report abuse and move on. DO NOT ENGAGE. I repeat, DO NOT ENGAGE.
Submitted by VMDA78 on August 1, 2008 - 2:33pm.
People need to stop worshipping angelina and brad, stop praising "false idols" and worship God instead, then maybe their priorities will be more focused and important. Brad and angelina may do good in the world, but their methods/reasons are very questionable, and in the end god is everyones' final judge, jury and executionor.
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Which god? I can name a handful off the top of my head. Which one is the right one again???
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he said he'd love me forever, if I would only smoke crack with him
*point and laugh, report abuse and move on. DO NOT ENGAGE. I repeat, DO NOT ENGAGE.
Okay loves...I'm back for my afternoon fix. Had to spend about 20 minutes catching up and I must give thanks to everyone for giving me multiple orgasms of belly laughs. Screw the apple... a belly laugh a day keeps the doctor away.
Viva and aquarius....such wise and true words from you. (And as long as we are talking astrology, I'm an Aquarian too. ;-)) I have to say Jolie and Pitt never even registered with me until the Pax adoption. My mind is seared with the images of that poor little boy screaming his head off, holding his body away and avoiding the touch of Angelina Jolie as she dragged him on that plane. And I despise her for it. Poor little thing couldn't understand the language around him or why paps were blinding him with camera flashes (to satisfy the insatiable Loons Paxie...someday you will understand and come to hate them too). For God's sake, the child probably had never even see an airplane up close.
I formed my final and forever impression of Jolie that day...and if I ever see that woman, I'll tell her what I think.
Deb! I get that all the time at JJ. There's one dysfunctional barracuda over there who thinks she runs that show. One day she accused me of actually being John Mayer. And she was SERIOUS. Oh Lordy.
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"Africa is sexy and people need to know that." Bono
Oh dear Lord. All these two do anymore is stir a blog thread. Well, coo coo ca chooo Brangie. Losers. For your craft this is all you have to show for it. Meryl Streep, Cate Blanchett, Kate Winslet...even the woman from Weeds can laugh at you two losers.
I have an answer to my original question:
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OMG!!!!OMG!!!!OMG!!!!
I have a new scrapbook desperately awaiting to be adorned with the pictures!
How many copies will everyone buy? I have a list already with more than 25 people I am buying copies for!
I hope they wrap it up in plastic so the LOOSER H8ERZ can’t get a free look and so I can save copies, they will be worth so much money in the future!
I can’t wait, I am so excited, OMG!!!!
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People need to stop worshipping angelina and brad, stop praising "false idols" and worship God instead, then maybe their priorities will be more focused and important. Brad and angelina may do good in the world, but their methods/reasons are very questionable, and in the end god is everyones' final judge, jury and executionor.
sonah22 on August 1, 2008 - 5:13pm
He has a truckload of Capricorn in his chart as well.
Yes hobags, of course I looked up his astrology, he seems to be drawn to air signs as well.
His Chinese sign is Cat/Rabbit, which ever site you happen upon uses either one.
He needs some fire in his life, hey wait I'm a Leo, what a coinkydink.
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Madolyn: What do you expect coming in here?
Billy Costigan: I have to come here.
Madolyn: I know you have to come here, but now that you're here, what do you want?
Billy Costigan: You want the truth? Valium.
Oh Callan--
Kali Ma- Shakti De.
Means Kali Ma, give me strength.
I think they both sucked the life out of each other by forcing an incompatible relationship. If you look at their astrology charts, just based by planets alone they are ridiculously incompatible- he's mostly incompatible with her. The fact that he's a Sag might help her Aries moon, but otherwise it's doomed. And her astro chart also says she's played a lot of power games- as the sub and the dom. Right now she went from dom to sub by having these kids and "selling out."
That's when so many relationships decline- when the woman is conforming to please the man. I've heard in many places that the man is the one who should be treating the woman like queen. Looks like Braddy took the reigns.
OMG I just wasted 5 minutes of my life typing a thesis on a disgusting celebrity couple. I should just commit suicide now.
www.whoneedstherapy.com
www.stuffethnicpeoplelike.com
She was at least real and sexy then.
@k2
It's true, angelina was never like this before Brad, I don't even remember her on the covers of any tabloid magazines! All the crazy Stuff she did with Billy Bob, none of that was publicity stunts, they were being real! It was Crazy, it was funny, it was even sort of cute in a fucked up way! Hell I liked all of that!I miss that girl! We all blame her for messing up Brad, maybe it's the other way around! Brad was always a typical Hollywood type, but she was different, she was a true nonconformist! Brad sold her out! Fuck him! Aww who am I kiddin'; if the Brad wanted to marry me, I'd fuckin say yes without putting any fuckin' thought into it! God help us women, that man is walking wet dream!
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*I used to Love Celebrities, now I just love to Hate them!*
She re-invented herself when she adopted Maddox, and became a unicef un ambassador.
Peaches: You nailed it! She was a non-conformist and now she's been bought and paid for. Everything they do seems so manipulated and calculating. Even her interviews make my skin crawl. She never sounds real anymore. The pretending to have the perfect family life is kind of sickening. For fuck sake, just admitt that having 4 or 6 kids under the age of 6 ,isn't exactly what it's cracked up to be! And while she's at it, how about telling the public that you're fortunate to have around the clock nannies, teachers and maids! No, instead she downplays that shit and acts like her and Spitt are doing it on their own. You're right, Brad took the wind right out of her sails. She is now playing into the hollywood game. It was better when she was the fruitcake, atleast she kept it real.
Well, think back, she sold out Maddox, she was a smaller mediawhore that is now big time. Her and mom and maddox and her heroin arms were in star, right around the divorce. Pitt is the loser here. There whole romance was a media ploy, she is getting older.
We suspect that homosexual brad pitt wears a rug.
Also, how did they make the baby? Turkey baster?
We doubt that homosexual brad pitt has ever fucked a fish.
Discuss!
The Holy Day is upon us.
Callan: i love ur walter mercado pic!
She needs to relax and stay away from brad's dick or other men sperm, seriously i love the fact that they're doing great stuff for others, changing the lives of their children who would probably be dead by now if she or they hadn't adopt them, yet she needs to accept the fact that she's not even dealing with postpartum depression JUST because she technically got pregnant as soon as she delivered, or manage the situation of adopting a child who has a complete different culture JUST because she adopts as soon as she already adopted..i think its too much for an average person to deal with or handle all those things, not to mention for a person, and a couple, who is/are under constant scrutiny, and have no private life whatsoever.
it's just too much in such little time.
["Dude, your friends asked me to give you a message: Dump the bitch before you're sorry!"
'"Before you're sorry" a surprised Larson parrots].-
Too funny to be true.
But seriously Jorge, dump the witch bitch before u're sorry!
She is generating more cash from her cooch than her movies.
That's breeding fiscally.
'Heaux Confessionals'
www.myspace.com/triston
@Peaches: I bet the scientoons drool at the thought of adding the Jolie-Pitts to the glittering flock.
It'll never happen though... because Ange would have to birth her litters via the vadge because scientology doesn't approve of medical intervention.
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Bill Hicks - Arizona Bay
www.youtube.com/watch?v=vpmgO4BTNCc
Submitted by peaches on August 1, 2008 - 2:46pm.
Remember the peoples worshiping that evil goddess in Indiana Jones and the temple of doom? That pretty much sums up how I perceive the brangeloonies!
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KALI MA! SHAK DE DAYYYYYYYYYY!
You bring up a good point. I don't remember her being a big attention whore back then and selling pictures of them, or at least trying to. What the fuck happened?
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you've made a great point and you're absolutely right! I don't remember the hoopla surrounding Maddox or Zahara. Neither of them had any big spread on them. I think that's because technically she was a single parent w/maddox (no one gave a shit about her) and the same with Zahara. She had only just started dating Brad when she bought Zahara. The last thing those two bird brains needed was to draw attention to their relationship (that was suppose to be on the down low). YET, when she adopted Pax , she was already in full swing of whoring out Shiloh so she probably figured she could get something for Pax too. SHE changed when Pitt entered her life. She became all about the money and what the media could do for her.
Congrtulatios to Angelina and Brad! But just saw Brad's personals ID on milllionaires personals site """"""""""C e l e b C u p i d.c o m"""""""""""" yesterday. It seems he can't wait to date new girl when his wife prepares to get birth to twins.
Viva La Lohan on August 1, 2008 - 12:44pm.
I went to lunch and we went from zero to cunt in less than 6 seconds. Nice.
Zomay - I must be honest and say I only recently learned of the Indian gods and goddesses. I'm thinking of minoring in women's studies, and just took this amazing Goddess traditions class that blew my socks off.
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OH me OH my. That is awesome. Would love to take that class. Spent the last 15 years researching on my own. That is fantastic Viva La Lohan.
Remember the peoples worshiping that evil goddess in Indiana Jones and the temple of doom? That pretty much sums up how I perceive the brangeloonies!
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*I used to Love Celebrities, now I just love to Hate them!*
I went to lunch and we went from zero to cunt in less than 6 seconds. Nice.
Zomay - I must be honest and say I only recently learned of the Indian gods and goddesses. I'm thinking of minoring in women's studies, and just took this amazing Goddess traditions class that blew my socks off.
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he said he'd love me forever, if I would only smoke crack with him
How fucking pathetic is this world!? Shelling out $15 million to some assholes for photo's of children. What makes these babies anymore special than someone elses? The children were born with the title "illegitimate". The parents are NOT married, got together because of adultery on Pitt's part, and the mother was an insane heroine user. And this is what we consider special?!You know we won't even see more than a photo or two of the twins - the rest of the spread will be of the jealous siblings!
@sandbitch
Tommy girl already tried that shit when shiloh was born! He wanted to build a wing in the celbrity center in her name, brangelina declined immediately!
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*I used to Love Celebrities, now I just love to Hate them!*
BRADIFUL I think it was only visible in very northern parts of the planet.
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Submitted by Callan on August 1, 2008 - 1:32pm.
Submitted by Laila on August 1, 2008 - 12:27pm.
BTW, why are so many of you convinced they’ll break up? I think they’ll stay together no come hell or high water. They’ve both invested far too much time, energy and pr into building up the Brangelina mythology to ever give it up.
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One word: Bennifer.
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Proactiv ain't got nothin' on bloopin', baby.
Wouldn't it be neat if Tom Cruise took a scientology swipe at the Brangelina. The brangeloonies would be all over his arse like fire ants.
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Bill Hicks - Arizona Bay
www.youtube.com/watch?v=vpmgO4BTNCc
well, i usually am able to clear a room. that's my gift.
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"Does not play well with others."
zomay on August 1, 2008 - 3:13pm
I'll bring some Bailey's and cupcakes.
- Yea, where is this solar eclipse? Did I miss it?
Well Monday is a civic Holiday in Canada, Skeletina's mother land, according to my calendar.
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Madolyn: What do you expect coming in here?
Billy Costigan: I have to come here.
Madolyn: I know you have to come here, but now that you're here, what do you want?
Billy Costigan: You want the truth? Valium.
BRADIFUL!! I am having a blended coffee I made in my new blender. Come on over.
On topic. I better clear all prior engagements for sunday. This is perhaps the biggest day yet. But to be honest with you, I am surprised they did not choose today. Being that there was a solar eclipse AND a new moon. Very powerful. By the way, there will be a blue moon this month.
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This mental ward accepts all. it's the church of MK.
Submitted by DebFrmHell on August 1, 2008 - 2:03pm.
Methinks, Hysteria, that you might have woke up on the wrong side of the mental ward today.
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Cooooooooooool! The wrong side is the best side
Submitted by Viva La Lohan on August 1, 2008 - 2:01pm.
yeah, you're right; it did smell a lot like cunt in here
zomay on August 1, 2008 - 3:02pm
♥♥♥
*smooch*
DLISTED is a hard habit to break...
*cue Chicago song*
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Madolyn: What do you expect coming in here?
Billy Costigan: I have to come here.
Madolyn: I know you have to come here, but now that you're here, what do you want?
Billy Costigan: You want the truth? Valium.
Viva La Lohan by the way, I too am somewhat of a hippy at heart. In fact I think of Dlisted as one of my greatest bad habits. I have a whole group of friends who would not agree with me coming to dlisted. They would say what I respond to in the media is my decision. I often kick myself for this habit of mine. By the way I appreciate that you got the Laxmi/Vishnu connection. I would of used Durga/Shiva, but they are my absolute favorite.
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Methinks, Hysteria, that you might have woke up on the wrong side of the mental ward today.
have not seen Dot since last weekend. maybe she can only post from her home.
When exactly are the Golden Globs to be unveiled? Nevermind. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
...whatever.
I might argue with the anti-loony part. Actually, loony is good. Look where we're posting.
Submitted by Hysteria on August 1, 2008 - 11:56am.
cuz I'm an exhibitionist and like to fuck in public, duh.
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he said he'd love me forever, if I would only smoke crack with him
@Viva,
On of the a-holes from JJ thinks I am posting under various names on their site so it bastardized my DFH. I finally went in there and posted something back at them. We might be the Anti-loonies on this site but nothing can compare with the venom on the other side of the moon...
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...whatever.
I'm going on vacay this weekend, starting TONIGHT (right after seeing The Dark Knight at an IMAX, I'm going to make like a baby and head out), so the Messiahs' unveiling will just have to go on without me.
Submitted by Viva La Lohan on August 1, 2008 - 1:38pm.
Thanks Deb! you strum a mean guitar. Hey have you seen Dot {.}? I haven't talked to her in a while, getting a little worried.
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Why don't you sluts get a room already?
Zomay - well said (Laxmi and Vishnu almost made me piss my pants!) and I do totally agree with the annoyance, thanks for responding. I guess my point is not that there is anything wrong with hating on them, it's not about them, fuck them! It's the karma loving hippie in me wondering how difficult it must be for the people I like to maintain that level of hatred for such long periods of time. It's bad for you.
But I get it, I totally do. If Avril Levine were to cross my path, that Karma shit would be out the window!
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he said he'd love me forever, if I would only smoke crack with him