This Sunday Is The Most Important Day Of Your Life
If you have plans this Sunday, cancel them all! If you're getting married, cancel it! If you're having a baby, cancel it! If you're dying that day, cancel it! Even if you're planning on going to church, cancel that. Actually, God may have already sent out a memo saying that church is closed this Sunday. What's the reason? It's only the most important day in all of our lives. People Magazine will unveil the first photo of the twin messiahs. The picture will make its debut on their website at 7pm EST. Set your alarm!
You must spend the day in your darkened bedroom with your eyes shut tight. You must prepare them for the sheer brilliance of the golden twins. I expect millions of people will temporarily be blinded by their magnificent beauty. Optometrists and ambulances will be standing by. You might want to wear a heart monitor too, just in case.
Yes, it's true. People Magazine won the exclusive rights for the first pictures of Brangelina's chosen twins. It's rumored that they paid around $10 to $15 million, a record. Of course, the money is going to charity. I think the name of the charity is the "We're Fucking Saints And You Know It Fund."
The international rights have reportedly been bought by HELLO! Magazine for around $15 million. HOLD THE FUCK UP! Are you telling me they are making around $30 million off of some measly pictures of some babies?! Oh shit. Did lightning just strike me for calling them "some babies." I apologize! Death, don't take me now!
UPDATE: According to WWD , People and Hello! will split the $10 to $15 million payout. Still! $15 million for a picture of some regular babies?! FUCK! Here comes that lightning again.
Cute dad and adorable babe. I saw his profile on milllionaire personals site """""""""C e l e b C u p i d.c o m""""""""" last month. What kind of relationship is he looking for on that site?
Forgive them Father, for they know not what they do. You mere mortals obviously don't grasp the solemnity of this blessed event. Prepare to suffer years of bad Karma that can only be rectified by adopting a third world child, cutting or tattooing yourself or sleeping with someone's husband. You have been warned!! For those not prepared to turn themselves around, go to Just Jared and view any Brangelina or Aniston thread. No, despite what you might think, these bloggers are not four fat lesbians from a trailer park in New Jersey or a group of double amputee transvestites who are vegans and lactose intolerant. SHUT YOUR MOUTH!! These are the smartest, most educated, most knowing, and most evolved people on the planet The are the Disciples of the Blessed Ones otherwise known as Brangelina Loons. Just picture John Hinkley times 46 with nothing to do all day but blog and view pictures of Jodie Foster. If you are feeling extra froggy attempt to have a logical discussion with this sycophantic lunatic lobby. They will threaten and insult all your dead relatives and go off on some wild discourse about Jennifer Aniston even though you have never mentioned her They will accuse you of being other people who I do believe are the voices in their head. Despite their vile attacks and perverted comments about Aniston, they are also humanitarians who eagerly await the pictures of the Messiahs. This is a stressful time for them despite their joy. They are fighting among themselves as to whom will able to go as the three wise men bearing gifts. So, please do not mock them or do anything other than revere this blessing, The Loons are having trouble eating (which is really something) and sleeping until they are able to view pictures of their little nieces and nephews. At that point in time, they will await further direction from the MotherShip. While they are waiting, they will continue to attempt to spread the gospel of the Jolie Pitts while at the same time decapitating Jennifer Aniston and anyone else who dares to point out the flaws of the King and Queen. WORD.
I'm new to the party and am loving the superb caliber of snarkiness about the Blessed Ones' images being released like holy doves into the universe. But please leave the AJ vadge and its experience of birth out of the snark. The vadge was not involved in the production of the twins except most likely at the beginning during IVF (or maybe not even then--you can get implanted through the abdomen). Both births were by C-section, so she was knocked out. The vadge and the AJ pain receptors were merely onlookers.
lol Bradiful...I need to do more weeding!
www.whoneedstherapy.com
www.stuffethnicpeoplelike.com
$14 MIILION. That's what they are getting for the pics...the AP has the info...
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I thank you for the kindness, and the times when you got tough; and Papa I don't think I said 'I love you' near enough
-Dan Fogelberg "Leader of The Band"
I wonder what JJ will be like when these pics appear. I fear the loonies will explode leaving a cloud of cheap booze, prozac and fan mags. Pity it will be the middle of the night in the uk, I would quite like to see the sight of that site.
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Leave the thinking to horses, they've got bigger heads.
"Martha Stewart, Oprah, your wife. You gotta fuck one, kill one, and marry one. Who do you pick?"
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That is so funny.... I know it may sound juvenile but I just played that game last night over a few beers. (fyi - not a great game to play with your spouse... I think mine went to bed pissed off!) lmao.
sonah22 on August 2, 2008 - 1:20am.
at least you don't have mars in scorpio- I'm a horny bastard at times, and on that note, your post makes me want to go find porn.
- Hey now, I have Mars Scorpio.
If anything, it weeds the garden of suitors.
/\
Madolyn: What do you expect coming in here?
Billy Costigan: I have to come here.
Madolyn: I know you have to come here, but now that you're here, what do you want?
Billy Costigan: You want the truth? Valium.
Submitted by lizzieb on August 2, 2008 - 4:35am.
I think you're onto something, legal technicalities be damned. Whoever buys the twins should put them to work in the scullery to begin to pay off their selling price.
Submitted by Sheeps on August 1, 2008 - 3:41pm.
I'd watch, except IG is washing her hair and/or farting that day. As Madam S pointed out, imagine how much they could get by selling the babies themselves?
Forgive me if this has been said already (there's lot to read) but it would make sound economic sense. I know she only bought them 9 months ago but babies really deprecate in value. Shiloh was worth loads but now the poor little blob is worse then useless.
See, Brad and Ange are going to really need to money as just about every film they are in tanks (Mighty fart? Coward Jess James thing?) and soon nobody will hire them as the number of loons that will pay to see their giant foreheads magnified on the screen will be outnumbered by people like me who would not watch a film with these morons in it if you paid me in gold bars. God I fucking hate these two, I really do. $15 million? That is a crime and as for charity I bet there’s two pence left after renting hospital wings and giant châteaux, 26 nannies and a wet nurse. It doesn’t come cheap to stage photo ops on a daily basis and there’s lots of expense in getting third world adoption agencies to turn a blind eye to your unstable, twice divorced before you’re thirty, self harming druggie past. Fifteen million. I would rather stick pins in my eyes than go near that magazine and profoundly hope those who might normally buy this crap are so disgusted they boycott it and this is the end of this bidding war lark. If not, it will be triplets next and we will only have ourselves to blame.
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Leave the thinking to horses, they've got bigger heads.
"The Virgo female needs to occasionally get dirty to fulfill her contract. One archetypal expression of Virgo is the Sacred Prostitute, serving the Divine through the sensual arts. The key for the Virgo female is to get down while maintaining her integrity. She can be "pure of spirit" in the bedroom, as long as she does not stray from her center."
Interesting. Very interesting. (Resident Virgo Lady in the streets, freak in the sheets here!)
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he said he'd love me forever, if I would only smoke crack with him
*point and laugh, report abuse and move on. DO NOT ENGAGE. I repeat, DO NOT ENGAGE.
Hmmm...I wouldn't be surprised. he does seem like the desperate type- and four planets in Cap on his chart- VERY ambitious hmmm...
www.whoneedstherapy.com
www.stuffethnicpeoplelike.com
Sonah,
Was Brad one of those "bad" actors? There have been rumors of him doing that in the past!
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*I used to Love Celebrities, now I just love to Hate them!*
I wish I was a skank but I'm one emo fool. oh well. at least i tried :P
www.whoneedstherapy.com
www.stuffethnicpeoplelike.com
at least you don't have mars in scorpio- I'm a horny bastard at times, and on that note, your post makes me want to go find porn.
www.whoneedstherapy.com
www.stuffethnicpeoplelike.com
@angel
_i
I am a very sexual being! I by no means am a slut, my pickiness doesn't allow that, but I'm certainly not into just the boring stuff. Its really not what people do having sex, its more with who and how many partners that determine ones skank factor!
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*I used to Love Celebrities, now I just love to Hate them!*
Yeah it also makes one picky sexually- many astrologers say Virgos can go either way. I hear the prostitution thing a lot, esp with venus in virgo, and one thread i read was about how a lot of "bad" actors had it. Anywho, here's a weird/interesting quote about it:
'The Virgo female needs to occasionally get dirty to fulfill her contract. One archetypal expression of Virgo is the Sacred Prostitute, serving the Divine through the sensual arts. The key for the Virgo female is to get down while maintaining her integrity. She can be "pure of spirit" in the bedroom, as long as she does not stray from her center.
Kind of like the movie Pretty Woman. Boink the client just don't kiss them, thus staying pure of spirit.'
Madonna has Virgo asc, some people say her brazen sexuality has a lot to do with being punished for it- like soem weird guilt thing.
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www.whoneedstherapy.com
www.stuffethnicpeoplelike.com
Well unless mk has this picture on dlisted, I think I'll go look at porn instead of going on people's website! Nighty night now dlisters!
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*I used to Love Celebrities, now I just love to Hate them!*
@peaches:
I think that's the Leo/Cancer. Leo's really picky. And it's your sign - the rest is decoration, right?
Maybe you want to look more at the *way* you like to have sex, you know...? mmmaybe...or how sex plays out in your relationships...
♥ ThreadKilla! / Lean Like a Chola / She's a Lady.
Miss American Dream.
@spnah22
That's so crazy about mars in virgo, because I'd never do that. Its so against my own personal beliefs, I'm shocked! I'm so picky, if the most heinous beast offered me all the money in the world, there's no way I'd even touch them with my pinky! There's nothing a hate more then being a sell out. And sex should always be an enjoyable experience, or you'll just wanna put a gun to your head!
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*I used to Love Celebrities, now I just love to Hate them!*
PS. I think Venus in Virgo is sexay! (really, for real)
♥ ThreadKilla! / Lean Like a Chola / She's a Lady.
Miss American Dream.
Hey sonah22:
I wasn't so far off then! Yay me!
@ peaches - no needs for apologies, btw. I really am a hack:)
♥ ThreadKilla! / Lean Like a Chola / She's a Lady.
Miss American Dream.
Peaches--I am a cancer/Leo cusp, Rising sign-Taurus, Moon in Capricorn, Venus in virgo,Mars in Virgo, and Mercury in Leo, So what does that say about me?
Stubborn, a planner, very methodical and organized--you like knowing the steps to get to where you're going.
Cappy moon- deeply pessimistic at times, almost in a stable way. But very calm and happy around nature (earth of course).Will get younger as you get older.
Mars in Virgo- this is the funny one. Many prostitutes and movie stars have this one. Sees sex very practically- as in could use it for a purpose and not have a problem
Venus in Virgo- not sure about this one.
Cafeastrology.com, Bobmarksastrologer.com are my fave for definitions.
Arg- sucks having a cold on friday night. Thanks for giving me something to do- i love this stuff!
www.whoneedstherapy.com
www.stuffethnicpeoplelike.com
Aha!! So the truth comes out at last! God bless you James, and thanks for sharing that with us! Brad's been a real bastard there, huh! And how dare he make bono the godfather, when we all know it should be you! And James, I've asked you this before, but you never answer, what was life like when your sister was with Billy Bob? I suspect you miss him.
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*I used to Love Celebrities, now I just love to Hate them!*
please. what fucking idiots!
"yeah. like i'm gonna have anal sex and sit on a plane for 6 HOURS!" - joel mchale<3
Submitted by James Haven on August 1, 2008 - 10:59pm.
James Haven refuses to comment on these two attention whores! They LOVE every minute of it and James Haven overheard Brad making a suspicious call the other day. He alerts the paps everytime he walks out the door! Then he huffs on television saying he hates the attention! What a phoney baloney!
JH, LMAO! -But, aren't you curious if they are going to look like YOU? hehehehe
James Haven refuses to comment on these two attention whores! They LOVE every minute of it and James Haven overheard Brad making a suspicious call the other day. He alerts the paps everytime he walks out the door! Then he huffs on television saying he hates the attention! What a phoney baloney!
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See James Haven in an Oscar winning performance!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2w9cKFiCrSU
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Aw! All y'all left while I was getting my ice cream sandwich on! O well - at least I got an ice cream sandwich!
♥ ThreadKilla! / Lean Like a Chola / She's a Lady.
Miss American Dream.
Sunday will indeed be an important day 4 me..it's myyyyy birthday
Viva! I was just gonna log-in to yahoo and see how you were, hot tamale! lol Which I'm gonna do now... Shhhh..
Topic: Our tomato plants had a few twins. So cute!
Submitted by peaches on August 1, 2008 - 10:02pm.
I hear ya, kiddo. If I'd been your age I'd probably have been diagnosed that and too. :P
I'm outta her too for now... Take care and have a great evening!
Topic: Twins fascinate me. Dunno why?
won't my mommy be so proud of me! Dot you hooker, I was just about to leave with the rest of my crew to make an expedition into the jungle to find your ass!
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he said he'd love me forever, if I would only smoke crack with him
*point and laugh, report abuse and move on. DO NOT ENGAGE. I repeat, DO NOT ENGAGE.
Submitted by . on August 1, 2008 - 9:57pm.
hey thanks, basically I got diagnosed with it back when it was still a new concept. now they diagnose everyone!!! it's crazy! And I basically just learn thimgs more visually, not so much just reading boring crap! If those hacks just played into my strengths, who knows, maybe I could've gone to an Ivy league school!!!
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*I used to Love Celebrities, now I just love to Hate them!*
catch ya all later
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*I used to Love Celebrities, now I just love to Hate them!*
Submitted by peaches on August 1, 2008 - 9:38pm.
Peachy, all of that ADD crap is bullshit invented by the modern day whackos. -Back in the day, someone who got mentally sidetracked by OVER-THINKING was considered somewhat of a genius! Ha!
On Topic: Waiting for the baby bumble beeeeeeees!
angel_i, I believe I've said too much, sorry! but that's why leo in Mercury the communication sign, makes sense to me.
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*I used to Love Celebrities, now I just love to Hate them!*
@ peaches:
There you go. I am a hack;P
With Venus and Mars in Virgo, I could see your "fight" tempered. Virgo doesn't get mad or even but it doesn't back down either.
I am surprised you don't consider yourself more stabilized, tho, with the Leo and the rising Taurus...I don't know how old you are or what kind of environment you grew up in tho. You may find this true later on.
♥ ThreadKilla! / Lean Like a Chola / She's a Lady.
Miss American Dream.
Submitted by angel_i on August 1, 2008 - 9:09pm.
Um...don't fuck with you?
You have a lot of domination in there. Stubborn, controlling and a fighter. Cancer/Leo means loyalty - you take care of your friends and family with all that. Organized? Practical? Methodical? Reliable? Do these things make sense?
Well I'm certainly not organized unless it's something I consider important, I am loyal and reliable. Practical??? hmm not sure about that one, compared to the Brangeloonie maybe!!! Subborn- definatly, controlling- try to be, but suck at that, fighter-I wish!!!
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*I used to Love Celebrities, now I just love to Hate them!*
Submitted by peaches on August 1, 2008 - 9:03pm.
Okay let me switch to this astrology discussion,
I am a cancer/Leo cusp, Rising sign-Taurus, Moon in Capricorn, Venus in virgo,Mars in Virgo, and Mercury in Leo, So what does that say about me?
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Um...don't fuck with you?
You have a lot of domination in there. Stubborn, controlling and a fighter. Cancer/Leo means loyalty - you take care of your friends and family with all that. Organized? Practical? Methodical? Reliable? Do these things make sense?
♥ ThreadKilla! / Lean Like a Chola / She's a Lady.
Miss American Dream.
Submitted by angel_i on August 1, 2008 - 9:03pm.
i know, i know... but, as long as you're getting the ice cream sandwich... my job is done!.. hehehe!
OT: what are their kids names again?
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"Come on mama,
heal this lonesome man.
Grow the tree of wholeness,
in this desert land."
Submitted by angel_i on August 1, 2008 - 8:56pm.
yeah I knew this tax return wouldn't be so redeeming! and unless the checks for their childrens photos were writen Directly to the charities. and not to them, than that's very shady!
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*I used to Love Celebrities, now I just love to Hate them!*
Submitted by angel_i on August 1, 2008 - 8:56pm.
yeah I knew this tax return wouldn't be so redeeming! and unless the checks for their childrens photos were writen Directly to the charities. and not to them, than that's very shady!
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*I used to Love Celebrities, now I just love to Hate them!*
Okay let me switch to this astrology discussion,
I am a cancer/Leo cusp, Rising sign-Taurus, Moon in Capricorn, Venus in virgo,Mars in Virgo, and Mercury in Leo, So what does that say about me?
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*I used to Love Celebrities, now I just love to Hate them!*
@ESE: I'm SO going to get an ice cream sandwich now. Also, sadly - I have never been good at the "spectator" part of specatator sports;P
♥ ThreadKilla! / Lean Like a Chola / She's a Lady.
Miss American Dream.
Submitted by peaches on August 1, 2008 - 8:41pm.
Submitted by angel_i on August 1, 2008 - 8:34pm.
$20,000 to a Los Angeles art park; and $5,000 each to two orphanages Jolie visited.
Wow they'd rather give more to an LA art park than to the orphanages! A LOT More!!! that certainly says something, now doesn't it!
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Exactly.
So they have given 8 million between them We don't have numbers for admin costs after that first year. That year doesn't count ($27000) because they, obviously, opened the foundation late in the year after donating on a personal level. Also, it doesn't include nanny costs, now does it?
At any rate, between the 2 of them they have earned a whopping $41 million dollars in this time. This does NOT include money earned from the sale of their kids pics. So we can now add, at least, $14 million. I have not seen, ANYWHERE, where they are donating more than one million dollars of that money. So they are keeping the other 13 on good faith perhaps? Adding it to Angie's income so it matches Brad's.
It's not a bad percentage. I just think that it's a LOT of money and WTF do they do with it all??? It just doesn't cost that much to live- not even to live well - unless you plan to spend the rest of your life in exploitation.
♥ ThreadKilla! / Lean Like a Chola / She's a Lady.
Miss American Dream.
sonah22 funny!
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Submitted by angel_i on August 1, 2008 - 8:43pm.
see, ain't nothin' an ice cream sandwich can't fix
OT: hhmmm... nah, i'll wait for the next kid
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"Come on mama,
heal this lonesome man.
Grow the tree of wholeness,
in this desert land."
Submitted by EveryStrangersEyes on August 1, 2008 - 8:36pm.
Submitted by angel_i on August 1, 2008 - 8:34pm.
I don't like this line. It makes me feel bitchy.
have an ice cream sandwich with me.. this is fun to watch
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Mmmm...ice cream sandwiches....I haven't had one of those since I was a kid!
♥ ThreadKilla! / Lean Like a Chola / She's a Lady.
Miss American Dream.
angel_i:
I am so serious. Brangelina could play with all my 2000 parts, even my no-no holes.
Don't tell nobody!
'Heaux Confessionals'
www.myspace.com/triston
Submitted by angel_i on August 1, 2008 - 8:34pm.
$20,000 to a Los Angeles art park; and $5,000 each to two orphanages Jolie visited.
Wow they'd rather give more to an LA art park than to the orphanages! A LOT More!!! that certainly says something, now doesn't it!
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*I used to Love Celebrities, now I just love to Hate them!*