The Photoshop Awards: Jessica Simpson On Elle
In order for this cover to work, Elle needed to put even more text over Jessica's face and body. Actually, they should have just left Jessica out and covered the whole thing in words.
This is some major fuckery right here! Jessica's waist hasn't looked like that since birth! I know she wants to be cuntry and all, but this is overkill. They might as well have put a ten-gallon on her fugly head with the words "YEE HAW!" splattered over the cover.
In addition to giving them a truly fugly cover, Jessica talked to Elle about being a victim of abuse, "There’s nothing on my album that you’re gonna hear that I don’t relate to or that I haven’t experienced. Because the only way I know how to sing is from life experience. I don’t want to talk about it, but I have definitely experienced abuse in a way that I would tell people to take their heart and run.” Cut to all eyes moving to Daddy Joe shifting in his seat, biting his fingernails, and blinking like a guilty hooker with Tourettes.
And Jessica is a major liar! She said that forgetting the words to "9 to 5" while singing for the president and Dolly Parton changed her life, "Anyway, I broke down and said I’m sorry in front of the whole audience. My dad was there. I looked him in the face and said, ‘I will never sing again.’ “
But she did sing again.... Big tittied liar mouth!
Source: Sweet Kisses
ShareThis
Submitted by oklahoma on July 31, 2008 - 12:19pm.
LMAO OMG you totally cracked (lo) the code on hair extensions. Especially britney's hair.. Ass Crack Dirty Blonde.. ROTF!!
-----------------------
No wonder it always looks so scraggly and nasty. We've all seen Brit's ass hair, and now it matches her head.
-------------------------
Proactiv ain't got nuthin on blooping, baby.
And that cover screams "LOOK! I'm CUNTry now ya'll!!! From head to toe!!! I have no personality!!! I suck!!!"
Too over done
♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦
I love her i dont know why people hate her so much. i look like her
you are all just jealous haters
**************************************************
From the first to the last time, the signs said stop; but we went on wholehearted; it ended bad, but I love what we started
- Fiona Apple "Parting Gift"
Submitted by But.Seriously.Folks on July 31, 2008 - 9:13am.
As if pretty and skinny are all that matters. Fuck you, Elle.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
*bonding with But.Seriously.Folks*
___________________________________________________________
Yeh! Someone to bond with! Me and my thighs need a hug.
This Elle Mag cover made me really mad.
Like I want to take Chestica by the weave and swing her around like a helicopter.
I hate this bitch and her stupid untalented big-chinned sister. I wish they would just fucking go away and never heard from again.
♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦
WTF is w/ her tea cup pinky sticking out.. proper acting faker! huh?
-----------------------------------
Pop pills, Pills I pop, Pop two pills
On stilts I walk; Snort two lines that were filled with chalk; Thought I was incredible and killed the hulk;
her left leg looks like it's on backwards. I can't stop staring at the part where the thigh meets the hip. it's an anatomical miracle.
Submitted by LOVE CARROTTOP on July 31, 2008 - 12:07pm.
Submitted by oklahoma on July 31, 2008 - 11:59am.
LCt.. Bwahahah, I bet when that comes off her head, and she finds it in her butt crack, she then realizes that it IS just her butt hair that long and ratty, & wasn't her head hair at all.. Dumb Simpson Bitch! yuck!
-----------------------------
HHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH ew. That's probably what Ken Paves makes her weaves out of. Her recycled ass-crack hair.
--------------------------------
LMAO OMG you totally cracked (lo) the code on hair extensions. Especially britney's hair.. Ass Crack Dirty Blonde.. ROTF!!
When Cindy Crawford was younger she gave an interview about pictures that were on covers versus what they were in actuality. i remember something to the effect that they had skinnied down her thighs and she couldn't understand why they would change her already thin self to someone even skinnier. She said she thought it sent out the wrong message to young women.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
...whatever.
I swear it looks as if they pasted her head on that picture. It just doesnt look right...almost like its floating above her body. IF that is her body.
*sigh*....this photoshopping shit is getting old!! WTF do they even do it for anymore...everyone KNOWS its all fake anyway.
****++++****++++****++++****++++****
"Marijuana is not a drug. I used to suck dick for coke. Now that's an addiction. You ever suck some dick for marijuana?"
Submitted by But.Seriously.Folks on July 31, 2008 - 9:13am.
As if pretty and skinny are all that matters. Fuck you, Elle.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
*bonding with But.Seriously.Folks*
-☮'---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮-
"Only those who dare to fail greatly,
can ever achieve greatly." -- Robert F. Kennedy
Submitted by shandi on July 31, 2008 - 9:14am.
She talks about Nick, John, Tony and Willie. Who the hell is Willie?????
Nelson.
-☮'---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮-
"Only those who dare to fail greatly,
can ever achieve greatly." -- Robert F. Kennedy
She talks about Nick, John, Tony and Willie. Who the hell is Willie????? And her dream proposal? She always said the way Nick proposed was perfect. I can't stand her.
--------------------------------
"Wait until the bitch finds the family of wombats living in her chocha." - MK
Gawd, they totally chopped her sides off!!!! Her boobies almost look tiny they have cut up this picture sooooo much.
****++++****++++****++++****++++****
"Marijuana is not a drug. I used to suck dick for coke. Now that's an addiction. You ever suck some dick for marijuana?"
Uhhh...Elle mag couldn't find a better candidate for the front cover? Perhaps someone a bit more relevant? A bit more talented?
*sighs* Ahhhhhh, what the fuck am I thinking? I'm asking for way too much.
*******************************************************
Sorrow is knowledge, those that know the most must mourn the deepest, the tree of knowledge is not the tree of life. -- Lord Byron
They obviously shaved off part of her thighs. Why? It's not like she's huge. She's annoying but she has a good body. Why photoshop it?
I think fashion magazines are run by self loathing pyschotics. Most of the behind the scenes folks are a long way from model pretty and I think that gives them issues. As if pretty and skinny are all that matters. Fuck you, Elle.
*ahem*
I like her top.
*runs away*
"Giving quality blowjobs since 1987!"
I love her tittays. Really. A lot. I have to go.
Submitted by oklahoma on July 31, 2008 - 11:59am.
LCt.. Bwahahah, I bet when that comes off her head, and she finds it in her butt crack, she then realizes that it IS just her butt hair that long and ratty, & wasn't her head hair at all.. Dumb Simpson Bitch! yuck!
-----------------------------
HHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH ew. That's probably what Ken Paves makes her weaves out of. Her recycled ass-crack hair.
-------------------------
Proactiv ain't got nuthin on blooping, baby.
she is quoted saying, "Tony understands her talent".......sure....I guess she is a good lay.
**************************************************
From the first to the last time, the signs said stop; but we went on wholehearted; it ended bad, but I love what we started
- Fiona Apple "Parting Gift"
It's fall issue time...
Yes, i buy all these stupid things and make fun of shitty fashion trends.
/\
Madolyn: What do you expect coming in here?
Billy Costigan: I have to come here.
Madolyn: I know you have to come here, but now that you're here, what do you want?
Billy Costigan: You want the truth? Valium.
Haha! She's got her cuntry face on.
♥ ThreadKilla! / Lean Like a Chola / She's a Lady.
Miss American Dream.
She's stupid looking. I kind-of feel bad for her for some reason.
She probably had to pay Elle magazine to put her on the cover (especially wearing that 'country' get-up). So not relevant and desperate.
____________________________________________
Rudeness is a weak man's imitation of strenght.
Save an animal in a shelter: Http://dogsindanger.com
Get lost: http://dharmasecrets.com
I WISH she'd never sing again! Or model. or "act"......
**************************************************
From the first to the last time, the signs said stop; but we went on wholehearted; it ended bad, but I love what we started
- Fiona Apple "Parting Gift"
LCt.. Bwahahah, I bet when that comes off her head, and she finds it in her butt crack, she then realizes that it IS just her butt hair that long and ratty, & wasn't her head hair at all.. Dumb Simpson Bitch! yuck!
-----------------------------------
Pop pills, Pills I pop, Pop two pills
On stilts I walk; Snort two lines that were filled with chalk; Thought I was incredible and killed the hulk;
I'm so sick of Papa Joe's wench.
I hate it when people wear pink with red.
What a gorgeous pile of shower drain hair!
-------------------------
Proactiv ain't got nuthin on blooping, baby.