The Photoshop Awards: Jessica Simpson On Elle
In order for this cover to work, Elle needed to put even more text over Jessica's face and body. Actually, they should have just left Jessica out and covered the whole thing in words.
This is some major fuckery right here! Jessica's waist hasn't looked like that since birth! I know she wants to be cuntry and all, but this is overkill. They might as well have put a ten-gallon on her fugly head with the words "YEE HAW!" splattered over the cover.
In addition to giving them a truly fugly cover, Jessica talked to Elle about being a victim of abuse, "There’s nothing on my album that you’re gonna hear that I don’t relate to or that I haven’t experienced. Because the only way I know how to sing is from life experience. I don’t want to talk about it, but I have definitely experienced abuse in a way that I would tell people to take their heart and run.” Cut to all eyes moving to Daddy Joe shifting in his seat, biting his fingernails, and blinking like a guilty hooker with Tourettes.
And Jessica is a major liar! She said that forgetting the words to "9 to 5" while singing for the president and Dolly Parton changed her life, "Anyway, I broke down and said I’m sorry in front of the whole audience. My dad was there. I looked him in the face and said, ‘I will never sing again.’ “
But she did sing again.... Big tittied liar mouth!
Source: Sweet Kisses
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Good Mornin erbody....
hmmm..this mag cover shows extra large head with country picnic tablecloth shirt. New name for Jessica will have to be "Blow Pop Bunyan."
Just wondering if maybe this mention of abuse is the next money making adventure for the slag. Cause we all know that this album will bomb. But what will the tell all book be "Nick wanted to always put his weiner in my poo hole" or "Papa made me suck his dick?"
Ahhhh..these Simpson's. Always thinking ahead.
Submitted by peaches on July 31, 2008 - 1:06pm
Hey sweetie!! ITA. She was damned lucky she got that boy to fall in love with her ass. She should've stuck with him. I'm sure part of Nick's being down after the divorce was a lot of kicking himself in the own ass for putting up with such stupid shit.
Good afternoon, everybody!!!
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♥♥ If you don't talk to your Cat about Catnip, who will? ♥♥
Fucking trolls. At least have the balls to make a stupid remark under your own name.
JesSUCKa has sunk to a new low. Alleging abuse just as her new crappy ass album is coming out?
Bitch, please.
Submitted by Your Mom Ate th... on July 31, 2008 - 1:07pm.
I'm takin' my lunchbreak. See you sluts in a bit.
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Hiya doll!! See ya!!
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♥♥ If you don't talk to your Cat about Catnip, who will? ♥♥
Submitted by DebFrmHell on July 31, 2008 - 1:05pm.
Hi Kizzy,
Thanks, Deb, what a fucktard. Like that act has WORKED in here before. Stupid. I can find better ways to waste my time, like watching grass grow.
OnT: I've never bought an Elle mag before in my life.
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♥♥ If you don't talk to your Cat about Catnip, who will? ♥♥
Submitted by Your Mom Ate th... on July 31, 2008 - 9:07am.
I'm takin' my lunchbreak. See you sluts in a bit.
***
Eat something for me!
I'm takin' my lunchbreak. See you sluts in a bit.
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Sorrow is knowledge, those that know the most must mourn the deepest, the tree of knowledge is not the tree of life. -- Lord Byron
Submitted by xxyxz on July 31, 2008 - 1:03
Hey gorgeous hwat sluuuut!! ♥♥♥♥♥♥
OnT: I don't want to see or hear either of the Simpson sisters again.
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♥♥ If you don't talk to your Cat about Catnip, who will? ♥♥
If her outside matches her inside, Jessica would sure be one ugly bitch! Why the fuck nick was so heartbroken over her, I don't know. Usually girls like Jessica get the man, but always get dumped because their boring! These stupid Hollywood bimbos need to take a fuckin break and go to college, because they are really stupid!
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*I used to Love Celebrities, now I just love to Hate them!*
Hi Kizzy,
yes, the dumb twat is back and posting around the boards. She is a freak. I don't imagine she would have a problem coping another name. I dare her to come after me.
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...whatever.
Submitted by Kizzy on July 31, 2008 - 12:02pm.
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Kizzy! You are correct, ma'am!
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Sorrow is knowledge, those that know the most must mourn the deepest, the tree of knowledge is not the tree of life. -- Lord Byron
Submitted by Kizzy on July 31, 2008 - 12:02pm.
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Yeah, I second Kizzy's question. If that is the case, how friggin' immature can someone possibly be?
Kizzy
Hey there heart
Submitted by DebFrmHell on July 31, 2008 - 12:55pm.
Dlisters,
Methinks that Beige is gone to a corner cowering with her kitties. Watch your screen names. Just saying. Takes the girl a minute or two to regroup.
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Hey, good afternoon. Don't mean to bug you, but I take it Beige Baby is back, and was wondering what you meant by our screen names? Did she do that PSL knock-off name that was something like one letter short, so it was different, but you had to look closely?
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♥♥ If you don't talk to your Cat about Catnip, who will? ♥♥
Miss Priss
xoxoxo I'm always ready for a 3-way with you and Oklahoma
Submitted by xxyxz on July 31, 2008 - 11:58am.
Your Mom Ate...
LOL
*snaps fingers*
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LOL! But wash your hands before you snap--we all know where that one finger's been...
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Sorrow is knowledge, those that know the most must mourn the deepest, the tree of knowledge is not the tree of life. -- Lord Byron
Hi XX and Okie!!!
*Grabs the 2 hos by back of heads*
*3 way kisses on the mouth*
♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦
Your Mom Ate...
LOL
*snaps fingers*
I thought that PSL sounded a bit PMS-y today....you guys are good at identifying those trolls. What a pitiful existance it must be to have to troll all the time....sad sad sad.
****++++****++++****++++****++++****
"Marijuana is not a drug. I used to suck dick for coke. Now that's an addiction. You ever suck some dick for marijuana?"
Yesterday's Trash Queen... If you are still here, mad props on the Janine avie. I loves me some her!
OnT: she looks like shit
♪♫•♪♫•♪♫•♪♫•♪♫•♪♫•♪♫•♪♫•♪♫•♪♫•♪♫•♪♫•♪♫•♪♫•♪♫•♪♫•♪♫•
And if you complain once more, you'll meet an army of me
Dlisters,
Methinks that Beige is gone to a corner cowering with her kitties. Watch your screen names. Just saying. Takes the girl a minute or two to regroup.
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...whatever.
Hey, xxy! you say "damn straight" and I just picture the lady from Clean House saying it!
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Sorrow is knowledge, those that know the most must mourn the deepest, the tree of knowledge is not the tree of life. -- Lord Byron
Your Mom Ate...
damn straight
Deb--that's right, it's not the weiner's fault. It was the hallway who failed at life.
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Sorrow is knowledge, those that know the most must mourn the deepest, the tree of knowledge is not the tree of life. -- Lord Byron
LMFAO...
Sorry... THAT was gross. I just can't take anymore crap.
*stupid troll*
LOL. A finger up Beige's ass would be like the proverbial "weiner toss down a hallway" **don't mean to be unkind to weiners.
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...whatever.
Submitted by BEIGEBABYSaTROLL on July 31, 2008 - 11:46am.
I have kitties that I will be whoring out later for some extra cash. Look at them on MS! They are cheap!
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Consider your pussies stalked!
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Sorrow is knowledge, those that know the most must mourn the deepest, the tree of knowledge is not the tree of life. -- Lord Byron
Whenever this bitch talks, it's pure verbal diarrhea. I wish Tony Romo would dump her ass.
I think that over Heidi and Spencer, Mischa Barton, Britney, and Lindsay, I would rather pistol-whip Jessica Simpson. She annoys me that much.
This cover was obviously altered by a five-year-old with a pair of safety scissors who was trying desperately to cut on the lines, but failed miserably.
I have kitties that I will be whoring out later for some extra cash. Look at them on MS! They are cheap!
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Yes, you are right, Beautiful, Slender, Smart, Funny and Sexy People of DListed. I AM a dumb freaking (insert "C" word here)!
Submitted by xxyxz on July 31, 2008 - 11:45am.
DFH
true that...
*sticks finger up Beige Babys ass*
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Fingerstink! Ewwwwww...lol.
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Sorrow is knowledge, those that know the most must mourn the deepest, the tree of knowledge is not the tree of life. -- Lord Byron
DFH
true that...
*sticks finger up Beige Babys ass*
Why every time someone comes out with a new movie or CD. We hear about some "abuse" in her past.
Ho buster #1! Jokes are funny, hate is not a joke nor is it funny!
Submitted by DebFrmHell on July 31, 2008 - 11:39am.
Submitted by parissuckliteraly
Nine Week Member. Trolling again, Biege Baby?
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Bitch is terrorizing the neighborhood, again. Methinks it's tazer times.
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Sorrow is knowledge, those that know the most must mourn the deepest, the tree of knowledge is not the tree of life. -- Lord Byron
photoshop guy obviously was coming off a 3 day coke bender when he tweaked the crap outta this cover.
abuse? of course she means what she has put US, the public through, right?
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"I love fast and I love hard."-MK
@xxy,
Who can forget a freak show like Beige??? lol.
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...whatever.
DebFrmHell
Damn you are sharp...
I just thought...if she had an axe in her hand she would look like a lumberjack ho.
emes...Me too!! I can't stop looking at her left wonked left leg. It does look backward!
WTF did they do? Paste her face on Carrie Underwoods body? She doesnt look like that and the whole world knows it.
"Big tittied liar mouth!" omg!! hahhhaahaha! I haven't laughed so hard since my little brother and i used to dress up in Mom's church clothes.
Submitted by parissuckliteraly
Nine Week Member. Trolling again, Biege Baby?
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...whatever.
The last movie she made with willie nelson must have been too shitty to go straight to dvd. Why waste money on pressing dvd, jacket covers, promoting, stocking and trying to sell.
Please Mr. Francis Ford Coppola, make a Godfather part 4 with Talia Shire as the Godfather and Kay finally with the program.
Submitted by Miss Priss on July 31, 2008 - 12:27pm.
And that cover screams "LOOK! I'm CUNTry now ya'll!!! From head to toe!!! I have no personality!!! I suck!!!"
Too over done
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That's exactly what it screams.. Fake!!!
Good third eye you have there!
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Pop pills, Pills I pop, Pop two pills
On stilts I walk; Snort two lines that were filled with chalk; Thought I was incredible and killed the hulk;
That is the most horrible cover I've ever seen on a fashion mag. That shit sucks.
Are we talking about the same Jessica Here????
Bitch has never had any hips or Ass for that matter????? she's totally squared!
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"Home remedy #108: IF YOU HAVE A BAD COUGH, TAKE A LARGE DOSE OF LAXATIVES. THEN YOU'LL
BE AFRAID TO COUGH.
there's a solid 20 inches shaved off of her hips! It looks ridiculous when the head is the largest thing, and everything gets smaller and more out of proportion as you look down. I hate photoshop!
GROSS lct and Oklahoma.....
that's why I lurves you HWAT sluts
So glad i never renewed my subscription to Elle!
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"F*ck you Tyra Banks, Oprah, Magic Johnson, Tiger Woods, Rockefeller. F*ck you." - La Pequena Hillary Clinton, 6/17/08