Wednesday, July 30th 2008
The CAPTION THIS Contest WINNER For July 29th!
Gordon Ramsay did a bit more than culling and cooking the puffin. - The C Word
Runners-up:
"American Pie IV - Home for Thanksgiving." Coming to theatres everywhere this November! - David Lerner
Reason #1 why you need to make sure you're home while the refrigerator repairman is there. - Madam S.
The full CAPTION THIS picture is after the jump and it's extremely NSFW. It's also not safe for any chickens, so clear them from the room before you proceed. JUMP!!!
VIA Discretos
Thanks Wesley
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Hundreds of Dlisted readers take a fresh look at the vegan lifestyle.
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"His romantic attachments ran to the, shall we say, exotic."
He came for the chicken but I stayed for the wiener.
It's the other white meat.
No, no, I said to PLUCK the chicken...
Peter tried out the new "Miley Cyrus" lifestyle condoms.
sadly, he wanted a threesome... out came the pork chops
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"Well, I got thrown out of work on the Kokomo.
Well, don't ask me what I'm doing, 'cause I don't know, yeah!"
All you need is a turkey and then you'd have Tur-Dick-En !!!
Oh the lengths the butler went through to make young Paris' favorite marinaded chicken.
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Why did the pervert cross the road?
Cause his dick was stuck in the chicken!!
A FOWL BALL !!!
Steve's recipe secret ingredient for the perfect jerk chicken finally revealed
Wait, I thought Phoebe Price's nickname was Chicken CUTLETS, not the "whole damn bird"!
How many "gives a new meaning to choking the chicken" jokes did I miss?
For real, where do ya'll find these pictures...wait, never mind, I don't want to know. I'm gonna have nightmares about that, thanks DListed.
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**Cake, or death?** Eddie Izzard
Submitted by Nell on July 30, 2008 - 1:10am.
How many obvious "Turkey Jerky" jokes did I miss?
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I'm not sure but you just made me think of Chicken Little. And his good friend Clucky Bucky.
That is all.
♥ ThreadKilla! / Lean Like a Chola / She's a Lady.
Miss American Dream.
How many obvious "Turkey Jerky" jokes did I miss?
Submitted by Sam on July 29, 2008 - 4:52pm.
Hey! Somebody got Herpes all over my E. Coli!
Awesome!
"gobble up mother fuc--r!"
Chicken Soup for the Zoophile's Soul
For some reason, Jason Biggs didn't want to sign on for the new "American Chicken" franchise.
Submitted by Caladonia on July 29, 2008 - 7:12pm.
Sadly, I jerked off to this...
THE BEST!
Submitted by Kelkundici on July 29, 2008 - 3:34pm.
Sex addict tries to quit cold turkey.
That's hilarious!
Phoebe Price didn't leak her own sex tape, it was those little PR girls over at Chanel!
Payback for the turkey baster that knocked up Angelina Jolie.
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Lois: Oh, my God! You can only play the piano when you're drunk!
Peter: That's not true! I can also vomit, fall down and make dirty calls to your sister when I'm drunk!
FUCKIN' CHICKEN AGAIN!?!
I saw this guy's profile at www.poultryporkers.com. What would his GF say?
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Lois: Oh, my God! You can only play the piano when you're drunk!
Peter: That's not true! I can also vomit, fall down and make dirty calls to your sister when I'm drunk!
Big Bird was never heard from again, after dinner at Jeffrey Dahmer's house.
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Lois: Oh, my God! You can only play the piano when you're drunk!
Peter: That's not true! I can also vomit, fall down and make dirty calls to your sister when I'm drunk!
TV, if one of those doesn't at least make runner up, I will be shocked.
jerk chicken! hahahhahahaa
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Roll down the window and let the wind blow back your hair; the nights busted open these two lanes could take us anywhere
I don't want to think about where those drumsticks have been.
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Lois: Oh, my God! You can only play the piano when you're drunk!
Peter: That's not true! I can also vomit, fall down and make dirty calls to your sister when I'm drunk!
Good Gawd! I only had intentions of reading the comments, but was instead forced to look at this atrocity.
I need a moral cleansing now.
Poor chicken.
I hope the focker got Salmonella.
<3-------------------------------<3
RIMADYL KILLS
Rest In Peace, baby boy
I love you
I don't want his recipe for Jerk Chicken.
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Lois: Oh, my God! You can only play the piano when you're drunk!
Peter: That's not true! I can also vomit, fall down and make dirty calls to your sister when I'm drunk!
Usually, you see people taking the giblets OUT of the turkey.
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Lois: Oh, my God! You can only play the piano when you're drunk!
Peter: That's not true! I can also vomit, fall down and make dirty calls to your sister when I'm drunk!
this is not going to get you any closer to making love to the REAL chicken cutlets.
Q. Why did the pervert cross the road?
A. He was stuck inside the chicken.
I can almost hear him yelling "Paris, Paris!"
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Lois: Oh, my God! You can only play the piano when you're drunk!
Peter: That's not true! I can also vomit, fall down and make dirty calls to your sister when I'm drunk!
Jim takes Stove Top Stuffing to a new, perverted level.
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Lois: Oh, my God! You can only play the piano when you're drunk!
Peter: That's not true! I can also vomit, fall down and make dirty calls to your sister when I'm drunk!
HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA!!!! FOWL odor!
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Roll down the window and let the wind blow back your hair; the nights busted open these two lanes could take us anywhere
The next day, Harold was at the urologist, complaining about the fowl odor coming from his penis.
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Lois: Oh, my God! You can only play the piano when you're drunk!
Peter: That's not true! I can also vomit, fall down and make dirty calls to your sister when I'm drunk!
Dr. Phil vs. Elizabeth Hasselbeck
Submitted by Sluttsville on July 29, 2008 - 7:29pm.
Edited......geez, it's my 1st night back and I have to be nice....it says so in the manual, page 9.
Out wid it, ye. Oh and welcome back.
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"His romantic attachments ran to the, shall we say, exotic."
Butterball turkeys have the plumpest breasts I've ever come across.
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Lois: Oh, my God! You can only play the piano when you're drunk!
Peter: That's not true! I can also vomit, fall down and make dirty calls to your sister when I'm drunk!
Conception snapshot from Phoebe Price's family album.
Grave robbers struck gold when they unexpectedly came across Estelle Getty.
Dammit Harold! Can't you hear? I said, "pluck" the chicken!
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Necrobeastialia, if his wife only knew!!!
Rodney finally gets to tell his friends that he fucked a chick!
Old Top Stuffing.
Bobby never revealed the secret ingredient for his "Funky Chicken" recipe.
@musaw:
Ok, ok...it was funny the first time. Don't get carried away with yourself over there!
♥ ThreadKilla! / Lean Like a Chola / She's a Lady.
Miss American Dream.
or a cocksucker :D
Technically this is a blowjob.