Would You Hit It?

Scream "YES!!!!" from your cubicle or wherever you are, because you know you would hit that shit in a flash. You would sweat on that oldie!

Everyone knows that if you let Richard Simmons stick the tip in, you'll live forever. Not only will you live forever, but you'll shit rainbows too.

Here's happiest homo in all the land outside of "The Late Show" last night.

Wireimage, Wenn

Posted by: Michael K

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Would You Hit It?

Submitted by Deb on Tue, 07/29/2008 - 1:29pm.

Something tells me that Richard and Clay Aiken share a fanbase.

"This ain't rock n roll. This is genocide!"

Submitted by LOVE CARROTTOP on Tue, 07/29/2008 - 1:26pm.

The mental image of him sticking the tip in made me have one of those scary convulsions where I don't know if I'm going to pass out, throw up, or pee. Or all.

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Bloop me like you’ll never see me again.

Submitted by chin chin on Tue, 07/29/2008 - 1:24pm.

he's too old to wear mini skirts, isnt he like 69 years old?

-=meow hiss purr=-

Submitted by kdracofan on Tue, 07/29/2008 - 1:22pm.

...yeah...until its dead
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"D-Listed is like chicks who hang out together for a long time- they start getting their periods the same day.
All d-listed sluts start to think exactly alike after a while. LOLOLOLOL" Mel-tang!

Submitted by BoyWonder on Tue, 07/29/2008 - 1:18pm.

Um....No.

But I will say this: I LOVE him. He's always perky and happy, who doesn't want to be around someone like that? I don't know, I remember seeing on some show (I think it was The Soup) and he was crying. I don't know why, but I sort of teared up myself...

Hate seeing that fucking energizer bunny crying...
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"Be a first rate version of yourself, not a second rate version of someone else."
-Judy Garland

Submitted by chin chin on Tue, 07/29/2008 - 1:18pm.

aww he's a sweety. i actually read his autobiography a few years ago, and it was really funny! i think he said his number is listed, and whenever people call him on the phone, he always takes time out to talk to them. anyone here wanna call him? lol

-=meow hiss purr=-

Submitted by thehoustongirl on Tue, 07/29/2008 - 1:17pm.

That main pic, he is all like:

*snaps* OKKKAAAYYYY GIRLFREN!!!!!!!!!!!!! LMAO

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"I fucking drink beer and party!"

Submitted by Fucking_Classy on Tue, 07/29/2008 - 1:15pm.

LMAO @ pic #4!

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"Our kind must never sit in the audience. Our kind must perform and run the show, or the others will run us."

Submitted by Gonnaburn... on Tue, 07/29/2008 - 1:13pm.

Would I hit it?
Hell to the nawl.

Submitted by Newportjoey on Tue, 07/29/2008 - 1:11pm.

Jane and I want to hear more stories about the rent boys Dickie hired. We bet he squeels like a pig while he's getting poked. Love, Blanche Hudson......

"If Drinks Aren't Involved, Then Neither Am I."

Submitted by peaches on Tue, 07/29/2008 - 1:11pm.

LMFAO!!! All I needed was to look at this picture!!! and today I'm home really sick too!!!!! We need more of this!!!
And here's a great quote I want to leave you guys with:
"You know we all have limits. Even Divine had limits. He met Richard Simmons and he felt homophobic!"
-John Waters, This Filthy World

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*I used to Love Celebrities, now I just love to Hate them!*

Submitted by Dr. Destructo on Tue, 07/29/2008 - 1:11pm.

I think he has to hold his legs together like that so the turds just don't drop out on their own. One muscle you can bet he can no longer tighten is his sphincter.
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Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most!

Submitted by NovaNightly on Tue, 07/29/2008 - 1:07pm.

Wait...i was thinking. If he is so into fitness and stuff...and his legs and arms are all stringy. WTF is going on with his gut?? He should have a little fucking six pack right? Dammit Richard....time to lay off the chocolate martini's!

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We were laying around in the woods and stuff, and I don't know how she did it but she got poison ivy on her brain and the only way she can scratch it is if she thinks about sandpaper.
-Stephen Wright

Submitted by Mr. Mercury on Tue, 07/29/2008 - 1:06pm.

I had this friend who was a gay porn star/"escort" (you can still see him in action in the epic "Room Service" as a newly married man who fucks the room service waiter while his bride gets ready in the bathroom) and he told me a hilarious story once about being called to Richard Simmons' house on an outcall. The evening centered around Richard, two pounds of hamburger, and getting busy on a butcher block table in La Simmons' kitchen. You can't make this shit up, I'm telling you!

"Rhoda, we're all aware that you're an adroit liar"

Submitted by The C word on Tue, 07/29/2008 - 1:06pm.

I keep expecting to see one of his balls creep outta those shorts.

And neither would I hit it nor watch it being hit.
But I do think he's a sweetie.

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My lyrics are sometimes sexist
But bitches oughta know
I’m trying to correct this.

Submitted by Ang on Tue, 07/29/2008 - 1:06pm.

In the face w/a frying pan.
Not really, but dayum that face and that hair.

Submitted by luckycharms on Tue, 07/29/2008 - 1:06pm.

He seems like such a demure little thing, but I be he would beat your ass behind the sceanes. H looks a little can of ass whoopin'.

Submitted by NitWitty on Tue, 07/29/2008 - 1:06pm.

Okay, so he gave an interview the other night and he said that Dolphin shorts (the ones he wears today and the ones I lived in in the early 80'), were discontinued because they went up in flames so easy. He says, he has over 250 pairs of them because his fans still send them to him and track them down on Ebay for him. IDK, why not get some made with some flame retardant material?

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Did you say, "he was E-moaning?!"