In His Dreams
During a show in Mountain View, CA, last night, John Mayer told the audience about a dream he had. In his dream, he made out with a chick who wasn't his girlfriend. A bitch who was at his show told E!, "He was talking about 'dream cheating. He apparently made out with some chick in his dreams. He had to do his penance to his girlfriend by singing 'Dreaming with a Broken Heart.'"
Jennifer Aniston probably flipped her chin when she found out about his dream. She cornered him and screamed, "You cheater! How dare you!?" John had to explain to her it was only a dream. She didn't care, "I thought you were different. But you're not! Who was the tramp?! WHO?! Let me fucking guess. Her first name stars with an A and ends with an N." John responded, "You mean ends with an A?" That's when Jenny made him shave off all his hair off. She used it to make a potion to ward off the cheating spirits.
Here's John making "diarrhea faces" while playing Irvine, CA the other night. I miss his 80s mop.
Wenn
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Oh look a crazy Aniston fan who doesn't understand that Dlisted makes fun of all celebs
equally.I wonder who's crazier the Brangeloonies or the Jen-a-loonies? Coin Toss!
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What's the matter BANE, can't handle confrontation? You made a stupid remark and I shot back with a reply. It's called freedom of speech and the right to an opinion. I understand perfectly well how Dlisted works. I've spent many a day posting at this site. Everyone is entitled to their opinion and that's why this site is so great. You should go see the 900+ posts on the Jolie thread .... I dare you to jump into that mess! Oh yeah, I'm a crazy aniston fan because I called you out on being a crude asshole.
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Well, MS. Manners, I'm SO, SO SORRY to hurt your little feelings with my atrocious "crude" comments! How gauche of me. While no one is forcing you to respond to me, I guess your PRECIOUS sensibilities were SO HURT and offended that you just couldn't help yourself. Who are you, the D-listed morality police? Funny, I don't hear you complaining about all of MK's similarly crude comments and anyone else's crude "opinions" . . . just mine. The comments are only funny when they're NOT about Aniston, right?
Obviously, you're lying. You're a total Aniston nutbag--probably LA's twin. I know it's humiliating, but you have to admit it and stop lying to yourself. May I suggest a 12 step program?
I must have interrupted your Friends marathon or something. No need to come undone. Please accept my humble apologies and go back to your Friends episode--"The one with a humorless hypocrite fan."
Oh look a crazy Aniston fan who doesn't understand that Dlisted makes fun of all celebs
equally.I wonder who's crazier the Brangeloonies or the Jen-a-loonies? Coin Toss!
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What's the matter BANE, can't handle confrontation? You made a stupid remark and I shot back with a reply. It's called freedom of speech and the right to an opinion. I understand perfectly well how Dlisted works. I've spent many a day posting at this site. Everyone is entitled to their opinion and that's why this site is so great. You should go see the 900+ posts on the Jolie thread .... I dare you to jump into that mess! Oh yeah, I'm a crazy aniston fan because I called you out on being a crude asshole.
Submitted by K2 on July 31, 2008 - 9:10am.
Submitted by Bane on July 30, 2008 - 11:54pm.
This is also the face he makes when Jen Aniston blows him. Her big chin keeps hitting his balls.
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If that's true, I'd LOVE to see the faces Brad makes when Jolie has him tied to the bed and is CUTTING him. We know she gets turned on by drawing blood. I think any guy would handle a big chin before they would get into bed with a sicko who has a fetish for knife play.
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Oh look a crazy Aniston fan who doesn't understand that Dlisted makes fun of all celebs
equally.I wonder who's crazier the Brangeloonies or the Jen-a-loonies? Coin Toss!
Submitted by Bane on July 30, 2008 - 11:54pm.
This is also the face he makes when Jen Aniston blows him. Her big chin keeps hitting his balls.
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If that's true, I'd LOVE to see the faces Brad makes when Jolie has him tied to the bed and is CUTTING him. We know she gets turned on by drawing blood. I think any guy would handle a big chin before they would get into bed with a sicko who has a fetish for knife play.
This is also the face he makes when Jen Aniston blows him. Her big chin keeps hitting his balls.
looks like john mayer trying to copy cat brad's former hairstyle....or could it be Maniston wants him to cut his hair ala brad's former hairstyle?
Why does he make those hideous faces onstage? Does he think it'll make people take his pablum seriously?
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There are many people in the country today who, through no fault of their own, are sane. It is up to people like you and me who are out of our tiny little minds to try and help these people overcome their sanity.
I really don't have an opinion on John. Would need to know more about him other than his relationship history to pass judgement. But I do know he's now sporting the same hairdo that Pitt was when he was humping Jolie on the set of MAMS - while still married to Jen.
If it were me, I'd be telling him to grow that shit back! Geez, poor Jen must be experiencing deja vu.
how does anniston lay under that face and bust out laughing...
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butt sex can lead to ass babies...be sure to use a condom...
if ever a douche there was. ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ hot damn, ho, here we go again.
He has that "just got his mouth shat in" look in the main pic.
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Lois: Oh, my God! You can only play the piano when you're drunk!
Peter: That's not true! I can also vomit, fall down and make dirty calls to your sister when I'm drunk!
gross, i hope these two dont have kids. is he looking for a reason to get dumped? ja has a lot of them now. where are the pictures of her reaction!?
☆☆☆☆☆☆☆Spot☆the☆Dot☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆
But can he play as fast as the world's fastest guitar player?
http://www.i-am-bored.com/bored_link.cfm?link_id=32167
(Skip to 4:15--it's in like Europeenish or something.)
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"His romantic attachments ran to the, shall we say, exotic."
That has got to be the worst "OH" Face EVER!! That's almost as bad as my cry face.
yeah, he definitely has to stop with the rubber death faces
it was me! it was me! i was the chick in JM's dream! cuz on that exact same night, I dreamed I was having sex with HIM!!! Spooky. Actually, I was sort of embarrassed in the morning. i've not lusted for him, unless i hear more about his big peen
Submitted by paris herpes on July 28, 2008 - 6:56pm
He's one of those people you'd have to do it with the lights off from behind, because if I saw that face I would SO be done. And you KNOW he probably makes noises, too. Bleh.
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Simplicity provides a fine line between eloquence and plainness. -LL Cool J
I like John, I think hes talented
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I'm always gonna be me and I'm always gonna be real so, you love it or hate it :-)
Ugh he got so into the song, he came. Just picture that face over Maniston, I think we're in hell.
Your face!
Look, its the face of a slapped-arse!
thanks xxyxz! i knew she looked familiar
-=meow hiss purr=-
I can't stand this dude. His music sucks a big one, he is ugly, etc. He thinks he is great and really shouldn't. He is very delusional.... Ugly-ass haircut, too... The dude shouldn't be allowed in public making faces like that. Man alive; it is hard to take. JA is a retard for sucking that dick.
Meh, he's a decent guitar player but his music sucks donkey ballz.
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"I'm an artist. I come up with the ideas. Me, not you. This isn't some party game, it's serious work, and I'd rather stick a gun to my head than listen to your bullshit suggestions."
"How many GOD DAMN times can you repeat
'Say what you need to say...'?"
@ M.E. I asked my family that very same question this past Saturday. That song blows chunks of FLA's *bloops*.
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Swiggity switch it up!
" starts with A ends with N ?!!!! "
" You mean ends with A ?? "
hahaha LMAO !!!
Funny shit!!... made my day...
i was very sad... Thanks MK
Chin Chin
Hi... It's neicy nash from Clean house and Reno 911
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R-E-S-C-E-P-T. Find out what it meaeeeans to me.
hi xxyxz, who is that in your avie if you dont mind me asking?
-=meow hiss purr=-
I can smell a troll from a mile away...
Is that a new song? LOL I'm so stupid!
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R-E-S-C-E-P-T. Find out what it meaeeeans to me.
"Here's John making "diarrhea faces" while playing Irvine, CA the other night." - MK Just another example of your eloquent writing skills!
I really hate this turd and his ca-ca faces. This guy needs to be dumped...upon.
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Swiggity switch it up!
In Mountain View? It had to have been at the Shoreline. Sometimes I go park nearby and listen to shows there for free. But I wouldn't waste the time or the gas for him. Plus he looks extremely constipated in that pic. Why do guitar guys always make those faces?
Submitted by Viva La Lohan on July 28, 2008 - 4:09pm.
watch your step kids, someone just took a huge crap all over your thread.
What happened???
watch your step kids, someone just took a huge crap all over your thread. I'm out, have a lovely day and all that jazz.
OnT: seriously, John Mayer has some talent, but he's MEDIOCRE, which is worse than just being talentless. It's having talent and choosing to write banal watered down lyrics that don't move anybody, that are designed purely to make soccer moms squeal in their loafers.
♪♫•♪♫•♪♫•♪♫•♪♫•♪♫•♪♫•♪♫•♪♫•♪♫•♪♫•♪♫•♪♫•♪♫•♪♫•♪♫•♪♫•
And if you complain once more, you'll meet an army of me
FUCK, thought it was Henry Rollins for a sec
I lesbian you missy!
My guilty pleasure....
wanna see some naked pics of me?
OnT: I used to have many good make out times to John Mayer...John Mayer and Dave Matthews. I like him!
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She lies and says shes in love with him, cant find a better man...
he is my favorite . He is seeking someone online now. I saw him at """""""""""C e l e b C u p i d.c o m""""""""""" last week. What kind of relationship is he looking for on that site?
Submitted by M.E. on July 28, 2008 - 3:53pm.
A few weeks ago the old dude that was a regular at my fav gyro shop was shot and killed cause he was helping the lady the shooter was trying to rob in the parking lot. Old man was like 70. I don't know why I'm sharing that-debbie downer here.
everytime I hear gyro I think of that shit :(
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/25482798/
alright you tranny homo head injury yodas, im gonna go drink now.
LOVE YOU FUCKERS!
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Fuck 'Em If They Can't Take A Joke
a message from the Church of the SubGenius
my father was a lesbian
Careful Viva...
*calls FBI*
see you later hor
fuck! now youve made me horny.
being horny at work is THE WORST
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Fuck 'Em If They Can't Take A Joke
a message from the Church of the SubGenius
yeah viva, like you feel a whole lot of guilt while watching lesbo porn and hitting the co2 tank!!!
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Fuck 'Em If They Can't Take A Joke
a message from the Church of the SubGenius
ooh we're sharing. My guilty pleasure is girl-on-girl porn and whippets. Good times.
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And if you complain once more, you'll meet an army of me
*hangs head in shame*
*cries*
G Y R O !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I want some of that sloppy goodness!
Shit, nowhere around here sells that shit, that I'm aware of.
*sniff sniff*
Submitted by shoe addict on July 28, 2008 - 4:40pm.
you're allowed. we can agree to disagree. carry on. ☺
evil shoe - totally! no worries doll! we agree to disagree on that one :)
My guilty pleasure is reality show marathons. I watched almost a whole season of Keeping up with the Kardashians in one day.
Who the fuck cares whats "cool" and whats not? The coolest thing is to be yourself with no apologies :)
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Fuck 'Em If They Can't Take A Joke
a message from the Church of the SubGenius
Submitted by shoe addict on July 28, 2008 - 4:40pm.
I'm sure some of u have unpopular guilty pleasures or are u all too cool for school..
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I like it when people speak up even when it's not *cool*. For example, my very uncool pleasure is reading historical non fiction, while wearing bunny slippers and earing licorice. I know I've driven everyone mad with that visual, so I do apologize. And yeh, I don't mind John M - he's ok.
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"..there was this whole fing 'cause I was down the arcade and Kelly flobbed on Destiny because Destiny told Warren that Kelly pads her bra. It's true - Nathan reckons he put his put his hand down there and pulled out a bag of Jelly Tots"
Sorry M.E., HOmade crotchpot chili is good, especially poured over a bag of freshly opened pork rinds but no, Gyro owns, OWNS chili
Owned
Submitted by shoe addict on July 28, 2008 - 3:40pm.I'm sure some of u have unpopular guilty pleasures:
-mine would be Toney Danza dear :)
I'm a major dork and embrace it.
xo
*fumbling around for shank*
DAMN YOU MISHMAA!!!!!!!
I's got some homemade chili.
Jelly?
Yeah, a Gyro is better.
Pft.