Godfather Bono
Saint Angelina and her eternal slave boy, Brad Pitt, have apparently chosen Bono to be the godfather of their twin messiahs. After the the golden twins entered the world, Brangelina spent the week at Bono's place in the South of France. That's where they asked him to be the godfather and he immediately accepted. Please, Saint Angelina didn't ask. She gave him a cunty look and he somehow knew exactly what she meant. Bono then immediately got on his knees and bowed before the messiahs. He vowed to serve them for the rest of his life.
A source told The Mirror, "They have been friends for years. Brad is a massive U2 fan and told Bono how much he admired him when they were introduced at a party a few years back. Since then, they've become very close, which Brad is thrilled about. Angelina is inspired by Bono's humanitarian work and gets on with his wife Ali Hewson. Ali's given Angelina some clothes from her ethical clothing range Edun."
Angie Jo wants to ask Jenny Shimizu to be her twins' godmother, but Brad hasn't agreed yet. Jenny Shimizu?! The source got it all wrong. Angie probably wants to ask Jenny ANISTON, but only to fuck with her some more. Angie is going to make Maddox call Jenny and say, "Holla J-Ass. It's moi. Guess what? It's your lucky day. My beloved mommy wants you to be the chosen twins godmother. It's going to be a theme ceremony. The theme is....GOT YOU AGAIN, BITCH! Blehehehehe!"
And I refuse to believe Bono is going to be the twin messiahs' godfather. GOD himself is going to be their godfather. Duh.
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The only reason I even read the Brangelina posts is to find out whatever foolishness MK is going to write about them kids and Ms Aniston.
I'm relieved to see I'm not the only one who despises Bono. He's such a fucking hypocrite.
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"Oh fuck off, I'm Clive Owen, that's mental!"
Submitted by Sheeps on July 27, 2008 - 12:28pm.
You know, I bought some briefs from the ethical clothing line Edun. The free-trade, recycled elastic waistband wore out after a few washings, but they still morally fit quite well.
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Sheeps, my underwear are NOT fitting well morally today. Maybe because they're Fruit of the Loom with the comfort waistband from Walmart. Hey, I'm a cheap slut.
Aphid: "Crotch Goblins. Hee hee hee hee!
TheBreakdown:
"I'd be willing to bet that Angelina and Jenny Shimizu are bumping les thundercats".
Killer line, slut.
I liked U-2 until Bono started to open his mouth and make speeches, around the album with the song about MLK. God, he's annoying. If he'd shut up, I might still have respect for him.
Submitted by bourgie on July 27, 2008 - 3:56pm.
I thought Marianne Pearl and Jack Black were to be the god parents. That's what that other tabloid said. Who to believe these days?
Oh God, that's actually worse.
Submitted by lizzieb: "...How come the twin purchases get baptised when the others didn’t (and god knows we would know if they had)"
and
Submitted by DreamyAguileraEyes: "Weird, I thought godparenting was a Catholic thing. I really can't imagine AJ being Catholic."
She's Catholic the same way Madonna was - she likes the dark aspects: the Crucifixion and Confession and Martyrdom. Plus, you know, she's FRENCH.
These content links are getting scary. I just got a scare when I rolled over South Park <--- and an ad started playing. When did that happen
蜘龍====================龍蜘
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Brangelia's making me nauseous. Since it's effin' Sunday, something new for you bored sluts---stuffethnicpeoplelike.com
LOL! I just noticed.
It's all in the look on her face in this picture: "Aren't I pretty? Don't you think I'll have pretty babies? (I made TWO at once! Top that, J-Ass!) You're going to want to pay a lot of money for pictures of my babies, aren't you? I love you dumbasses. You'll buy ANYTHING!"
♥ ThreadKilla! / Lean Like a Chola / She's a Lady.
Miss American Dream.
For Robertoooo
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gbNuIqiVPbU&feature=related
totally on topic.
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Rose: Sophia, why are you in such a bad mood?
Sophia: Excuse me Rose, I haven't had sex in fifteen years and it's starting to get on my nerves.
Congrtulatios to Angelina and Brad! But just saw Brad's personals ID on millionaires personals site """"""""""C e l e b C u p i d.c o m""""""""""""" yesterday. It seems he can't wait to date new girl when his wife prepares to get birth to twins.
Jenny Shimizu and Angelina used to be scissor sisters. Instead of eating Angelina's chocha, she will now be the latest bastard childrens' godmother. How sweet. They should be on the cover of Parenting magazine.
Holy fuck. I hate Bono,- the self serving sanctimonious prick and I hate Ange- ditto. All they need now is for Bob ‘father of the year’ Geldof to step up as God dad no 2 and this will be a trinity of cuntiness. How come the twin purchases get baptised when the others didn’t (and god knows we would know if they had- these two don’t have an unexpressed thought or an unrecorded moment) methinks that they popped out with 333 on each head and she is scared of the devil coming for her at last. Not a moment too soon. Way to pimp those kids you self satisfied arse wipes. ********************************************
Leave the thinking to horses, they've got bigger heads.
Oh man, we are so snarky... I love this blog!
Open letter to (Goddess) Angelina Joile & the whelp - sorry, Brad Pitt.
While adopting babies gets you the the "awwww aren't they ccccccuuuuuuutttttteeeeeeeee" factor, it gets old quickly - espically when you have the likes of Madonna copying. (besides having 100 babies under 10 is hard work!)
I have the cure! - adopt a teenager (16+ - Older teens, are, on the whole more potty trained than younger ones. On the downside, they will be more foul tempered, but I'm sure you'll be able to cure that!) OR adopt an adult! (20 - 60). Adults come (almost!) fully potty trained, are less grouchy in mornings than teenagers (once they've had their morning cup of coffee that is) and can feed themselves! You'll be free to not eat, shoot up heroin & whip the whelp without having to worry about nannies or the like!!
By a strange couincidence - I happen to be an adult! (21). I don't need coffee in mornings (I perfer tea) & I'd be more than willing to baby sit the 100 little horrors you drunkly adopted (for a small fee*)!!
Please reply soon! best wishes,
DreamyAguileraEyes
*fee of £20,000 (£ only accepted.)
~♥~"Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift. That is why they call it a present.” – Eleanor Roosevelt~♥
I can't stand these two anymore. AJ is retarded looking pregnant and I am sure she thinks she is so beautiful. Gag me with a spoon. And Brad Pittbrain is looking older and uglier every day. I guess that is what he gets for living with a baby maker and psychopath.
I have three godmothers and one godfather. True story.
Newsflash, sluts:
some children have scores of godparents.
Keep driving up the price of those twins, Ang!
'Heaux Confessionals'
www.myspace.com/triston
They never mentioned that Bono is the Godfather because he is a terrific parent and loves his children. I'm sure Bono's children appreciate his amazing humanitarian work and that he gives all of his time to saving the world.
Brad Pitt=Douche. Only complete assholes are big U2 fans!! What's next? that he thinks Dane Cook is funny and Cool Water is the greatest fragrance in the world. Brad Pitt what a FUCKING BALL LESS DOUCHE BAG!!! And to think he was in Seven and Fight Club what a waste. Robertoooo
I like how Brad and Angie announced this a week after the birth of the twins. Even though this was decided no doubt before the birth of the twins. They announced it today just to keep the public interested in the "chosen ones" and to keep name in the papers. In a couple days they will announce the Godmother name.
Submitted by tonicbitch on July 27, 2008 - 4:05pm.
"Angelina is inspired by Bono's humanitarian work and gets on with his wife Ali Hewson."
At first I read that as "gets it on with his wife". Probably, while Bono and Brad are in the living room playing "who has the bigger ego".
GOOD point, tonicbitch
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"Good girls go to heaven, bad girls go everywhere"
- Mae West
"Hello J-Ass, it's moi"
...one day i'm going to pass out from laughing on this site i <3 you MK
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"Good girls go to heaven, bad girls go everywhere"
- Mae West
Angelina is inspired by Bono's humanitarian work and gets on with his wife Ali Hewson.
At first I read that as "gets it on with his wife". Probably, while Bono and Brad are in the living room playing "who has the bigger ego".
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Pearls of Wisdom from JJ - "If ass-holes could fly, you guys would be an airport"
excuse me while i run to the vomitorium
"Holla J-Ass. It's moi. Guess what? It's your lucky day. My beloved mommy wants you to be the chosen twins godmother. It's going to be a theme ceremony. The theme is....GOT YOU AGAIN, BITCH! Blehehehehe!"
MUAHHAHAHHAHAHHHAHAH..I can so see J-Ass pulling a gun out like the grey poupon guy! wait it's through the phone...whatever. I swear my fav parts about your Angie post are the Maddox parts!
I thought Marianne Pearl and Jack Black were to be the god parents. That's what that other tabloid said. Who to believe these days?
Queaf!
Michael Jackson wasn't available since he's Nicole Richie's godfather...do celebs have real friends? like childhood friends?
Hey Aphid! "crotch goblins".....hahahaha
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I love you is all that you can't say; years gone by and still.... words don't come easily- like I love you, I love you....
- Tracy Chapman "Baby Can I Hold You"
What a coinki-dink. I just watched Mr. and Mrs. Smith for the first time last night. Ya, ya, I'm about five years behind in my movies. I just couldn't get over these two. What attracted them to each other?? Angie is a vapid bitch and, while Brad is a hunk, he's just... meh?
Anyways, I'm tired of hearing from these two. Take your fifty billion children and go live in a cave somewhere.
"Giving quality blowjobs since 1987!"
Fuck Bono. As South Park proclaimed, he's the biggest piece of shit in the world. It's fitting his ass would be godparent to that couple's matching crotch goblins.
What???!!! Only 32 comments so far?
蜘龍====================龍蜘
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(='.'=)
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why in the hell do they need godparents. They aren't a part of religion that holds any sort of importance to that title.
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"Self-promotion, for me, is like going to the dentist" —Daniel Craig
Submitted by Sheeps on July 27, 2008 - 12:28pm.
You know, I bought some briefs from the ethical clothing line Edun. The free-trade, recycled elastic waistband wore out after a few washings, but they still morally fit quite well.
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disposable underwear.....who are you, J.Lo? Doesn't sound very "green" to me....lol
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I love you is all that you can't say; years gone by and still.... words don't come easily- like I love you, I love you....
- Tracy Chapman "Baby Can I Hold You"
I'd be willing to bet that Angelina and Jenny Shimizu are bumping les thundercats while Brad is out grocery shopping at the Piggly Wiggly
'Heaux Confessionals'
www.myspace.com/triston
ali hewson better watch out. bitch will fuck bono in a heartbeat while brad's drooling on his pillow.
i always knew bono was a pretentious fuck and his friendship with these tools cements it.
"to alcohol: the cause and solution to all life's problems."—homer simpson
You know, I bought some briefs from the ethical clothing line Edun. The free-trade, recycled elastic waistband wore out after a few washings, but they still morally fit quite well.
Submitted by trilbynhiss on July 27, 2008 - 7:57pm.
Weird, I thought godparenting was a Catholic thing. I really can't imagine AJ being Catholic.
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I'm Church Of England & I have three Godparents. I'm told that a girl can have two Godmothers & Godfather (a boy has it in reverse - two god fathers & a God father)
I think as long as you can yourselve a Christian, you can be baptized & shit.
Do the other 10 have Godparents???
~♥~"Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift. That is why they call it a present.” – Eleanor Roosevelt~♥
"Holla J-Ass. It's moi".
MK, you crack me up.
There, I said it... The thing is, i'm always wishing for news from Brangelina, not because i care, but because you'll make it hilarious under 3 seconds !
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France, c'mon girl, don't be an invader hater
I think they take what they want from different religions and make it their "own thing" It not like the kiddos ever see their "God parents" they move around too much. Angelina would say anything or do anything to get media attention. She only keeps getting preggers to keep Brad.
Angel-i those are great words. Now in honor of the holy twins getting a god father and sealing their royal linneage, lets all light our lighters and rejoice!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WmxT21uFRwM
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She gave him a cunty look and he somehow knew exactly what she meant.
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This made me laugh so hard! That's definitely her main method of communicating.
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Put on your slippers and sit by the fire
You've reached your top and you just can't get any higher
You're in your place and you know where you are
In your Shangri-la
~the Kinks~
Sorry, I'm a bit crabby.
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Simplicity provides a fine line between eloquence and plainness. -LL Cool J
Just the sight of those two makes me want to vomit. I am so sick and tired of hearing, seeing, even THINKING about they who shall remain nameless. Fall into a hole and die already. To quote Dave Chapelle, I'm to the point of wanting to say to them "I wish all the bad things in life happen to you and no one else but you".
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Simplicity provides a fine line between eloquence and plainness. -LL Cool J
I think a lot of religions have a form of godparenting.
Submitted by zomay on July 27, 2008 - 3:04pm.
Lets all start singing 'We are the World, we are the children, we are the ones who make a better place, so lets start giving.'
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No, no, no...I changed the words to that the other day:
We are the whores
We are the skanky
We are the ones who sell our children pics
And then laugh at the banky!
There's a choice we're making
We're whoring out our kids
If Bono is the Godfather, you'll believe in us!
(Admittedly, I've now fixed it for them - it could be the next verse!)
♥ ThreadKilla! / Lean Like a Chola / She's a Lady.
Miss American Dream.
yeah, yeah....blah blah blah...whatever.
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I love you is all that you can't say; years gone by and still.... words don't come easily- like I love you, I love you....
- Tracy Chapman "Baby Can I Hold You"
Mr President, and that is why this midget egomaniac is the perfect choice! they can all sit around and suck each other off during gazillion dollar dinners on how much the planet needs them, while not helping a single damn person other than themselves. Scum.
The loons will eat this shit off a stick.
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Be kind. Everyone you meet is fighting a great battle. - Philo of Alexandria