Godfather Bono
Saint Angelina and her eternal slave boy, Brad Pitt, have apparently chosen Bono to be the godfather of their twin messiahs. After the the golden twins entered the world, Brangelina spent the week at Bono's place in the South of France. That's where they asked him to be the godfather and he immediately accepted. Please, Saint Angelina didn't ask. She gave him a cunty look and he somehow knew exactly what she meant. Bono then immediately got on his knees and bowed before the messiahs. He vowed to serve them for the rest of his life.
A source told The Mirror, "They have been friends for years. Brad is a massive U2 fan and told Bono how much he admired him when they were introduced at a party a few years back. Since then, they've become very close, which Brad is thrilled about. Angelina is inspired by Bono's humanitarian work and gets on with his wife Ali Hewson. Ali's given Angelina some clothes from her ethical clothing range Edun."
Angie Jo wants to ask Jenny Shimizu to be her twins' godmother, but Brad hasn't agreed yet. Jenny Shimizu?! The source got it all wrong. Angie probably wants to ask Jenny ANISTON, but only to fuck with her some more. Angie is going to make Maddox call Jenny and say, "Holla J-Ass. It's moi. Guess what? It's your lucky day. My beloved mommy wants you to be the chosen twins godmother. It's going to be a theme ceremony. The theme is....GOT YOU AGAIN, BITCH! Blehehehehe!"
And I refuse to believe Bono is going to be the twin messiahs' godfather. GOD himself is going to be their godfather. Duh.
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Ok, this has come to the fucking breaking point and is completely out of hand.
One thing that has been obvious is U2's ability to keep out of tabloid fodder, now Bono and this most satanic attachment will put him and U2 in the center of the circus that is Brangelina.
I don't really have a problem with Bono per se and I love their drummer Larry Mullen Jr., I do find it unlikely that this is true though.
I would like to make fun of this but it's late, I'm exhausted and the funny has taken an evil and sickening turn.
Bono needs a campaign to free The Brad.
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Madolyn: What do you expect coming in here?
Billy Costigan: I have to come here.
Madolyn: I know you have to come here, but now that you're here, what do you want?
Billy Costigan: You want the truth? Valium.
Submitted by Abraham on July 27, 2008 - 10:51pm.
aren't you supposed to be at Ford's Theatre?
OT: an offer Bono couldn't refuse
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"Under the weather, I never got better.
Wrapped up in my disease.
Mile away, she want to count my day.
Look a little older in the light."
Submitted by RonPaulLove on July 27, 2008 - 10:48pm.
and i'm sure the 'lil doggies and kitties are clapping too, but.. ya know... fur, it dulls the clap sound!
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"Under the weather, I never got better.
Wrapped up in my disease.
Mile away, she want to count my day.
Look a little older in the light."
Bono.
Please. That's so last milennium.
Can't they come up with anything original to do?
Thank you kind sir. *Takes a bow*
Change your apathetic ways or be doomed America!!
www.myspace.com/eniloractrzrtroll
Read my blog!
I just saw this on MSNBC...hahahahhaha
Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie might have just added two more kids to their growing family but a source close to the couple says that they have no plans to put the brakes on having biological children any time soon.
According to the source, Jolie plans on having “one more baby naturally—even if they end up having twins. (Twins) would be wonderful.”
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One thing I think you should know, I ain't gonna miss you when you go; been down so long; I've been tossed around enough; aww couldn't you just let me go down and do my stuff
Submitted by RonPaulLove on July 27, 2008 - 10:42pm.
I can't afford ANYTHING and I still manage to donate to the S.P.C.A etc. once and a while. GIVE ME SOME PROPS!!
*standing ovation*
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"Under the weather, I never got better.
Wrapped up in my disease.
Mile away, she want to count my day.
Look a little older in the light."
OH and btw I want to be in on you dlisted people's fun times. You're such a witty bunch! Do I just start posting a lot and I'll gain friendsies?
Yippie!
Change your apathetic ways or be doomed America!!
www.myspace.com/eniloractrzrtroll
Read my blog!
I think angie's vajay has Brad ensnared for life.
Bono is an egomaniac. I find it so fucking contradictory when people of wealth and stature are apparently so "giving" yet they still decide to live lavish lifestyles..flying on jets all over the world and decking themselves out in designer clothes. It's completely hypocritical and I wonder why people don't call them on their bullshit when they are patting their own backs for how CHARITABLE they are. I can't afford ANYTHING and I still manage to donate to the S.P.C.A etc. once and a while. GIVE ME SOME PROPS!! I've got true and selfless good will because my good will gets me NO RECOGNITION!
Change your apathetic ways or be doomed America!!
www.myspace.com/eniloractrzrtroll
Read my blog!
Submitted by parissucksliterally on July 27, 2008 - 10:34pm.
I don;t think Brad will screw a Nanny- he'll do it on set, like he usually does. Or SHE will, which is more likely.....
Which is why, like I've said before, he should do a movie co-starring with Sienna Miller!
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*I used to Love Celebrities, now I just love to Hate them!*
Submitted by bobbledunk on July 27, 2008 - 5:50pm.
That really is an eye opening story! can I share it with my friends and family? anyone remember the saouth park episode making fun of bono making the world's biggest crap, basically saying he's full of crap? Why they haven't gone after Brad and Angelina yet, I don't understand, if they can go after Tommy girl, than there's no excuse not to go after these douchbags. maybe they can try adopting starvin' Marvin from ethiopia, and the south park kids have to save him, or adopt Kenny, because he's poor. "Oh my god, Brangelina adopted Kenny! Those Bastards!!""
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*I used to Love Celebrities, now I just love to Hate them!*
I am convinced that MK has taken a second or third job. He didn't post much of anything for the last few days.
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Rose: Sophia, why are you in such a bad mood?
Sophia: Excuse me Rose, I haven't had sex in fifteen years and it's starting to get on my nerves.
Submitted by parissucksliterally on July 27, 2008 - 10:34pm.
only if the nanny is a co-star!
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"Under the weather, I never got better.
Wrapped up in my disease.
Mile away, she want to count my day.
Look a little older in the light."
@mawy and soul
ITA! So pretentious to make Bono godfather, how dare they do that to you James Haven! being neither of them currently have PR people, this may be true, or they at least made the story up themselves! But Angelina wanting Jenny Shimizu as godmother may mean there's still hope for her as acting like the rest of us as being loyal to friends, not some stuck up celebrity sellout!
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*I used to Love Celebrities, now I just love to Hate them!*
I don;t think Brad will screw a Nanny- he'll do it on set, like he usually does. Or SHE will, which is more likely.....
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One thing I think you should know, I ain't gonna miss you when you go; been down so long; I've been tossed around enough; aww couldn't you just let me go down and do my stuff
Submitted by DebFrmHell on July 27, 2008 - 10:28pm.
awww, aren't you a dahlin'! sounds like a plan!
OT: Angie, Angie, bo-bangie, banana-fana... 'eh you get the point
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"Under the weather, I never got better.
Wrapped up in my disease.
Mile away, she want to count my day.
Look a little older in the light."
Submitted by Sandbitch on July 27, 2008 - 9:37pm.
Won't it be a great day when Braddy Brat Daddy is caught boinking the nanny, any nanny will do. Even Angelina's holy holes will be showing the inevitable signs of mileage. She'll likely need abdominoplasty, haemorrhoidectomy, at least!
If I can be that nanny, it will be the most beautiful day in the whole wide world!!! He may be an egomaniacal douchbag, but he's still a walking wet dream!!!
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*I used to Love Celebrities, now I just love to Hate them!*
Maybe lazy, but dashing and debonair at the same time. What a contradiction. White Russian for you and Diet Coke for me?
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Rose: Sophia, why are you in such a bad mood?
Sophia: Excuse me Rose, I haven't had sex in fifteen years and it's starting to get on my nerves.
Submitted by DebFrmHell on July 27, 2008 - 10:24pm.
hi, Deb!.. first post i ran into... yeah, i'm lazy
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"Under the weather, I never got better.
Wrapped up in my disease.
Mile away, she want to count my day.
Look a little older in the light."
these people are interesting.
ESE,
What brings you to an Angie Jo post?????
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Rose: Sophia, why are you in such a bad mood?
Sophia: Excuse me Rose, I haven't had sex in fifteen years and it's starting to get on my nerves.
Submitted by parissucksliterally on July 27, 2008 - 10:07pm.
no, but my pee's white... should i be concerned?!LOL!
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"Under the weather, I never got better.
Wrapped up in my disease.
Mile away, she want to count my day.
Look a little older in the light."
ESE, when you cut yourself, do you bleed White Russian? *hugs*
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One thing I think you should know, I ain't gonna miss you when you go; been down so long; I've been tossed around enough; aww couldn't you just let me go down and do my stuff
Submitted by parissucksliterally on July 27, 2008 - 10:03pm.
way ahead of ya, sweetheart.. way ahead of ya.. hi, PSL!!
OT: wouldn't Bono just feed them to the poor starving children?
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"Under the weather, I never got better.
Wrapped up in my disease.
Mile away, she want to count my day.
Look a little older in the light."
awwww ESE... then you must have a drink!
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You took the words right out of my mouth
It must have been while you were kissing me
You took the words right out of my mouth
Oh I swear it's true I was just about to say "I love you"
Submitted by Sheeps on July 27, 2008 - 9:59pm.
hey Sheeps!
OT: isn't Brad only supposed to be "a massive fan" of AJ's?... somebody's getting a whippin'!!
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"Under the weather, I never got better.
Wrapped up in my disease.
Mile away, she want to count my day.
Look a little older in the light."
Suffice to say that I agree with the previous comments made regarding this unholy trifecta of pretentiousness and egomania.
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Fashion is art that you wear - L.G.
Edited for rare fact-checking.
Hi ESE!
no.. *shaking head*.. just.. no.. i can't handle this being the last post of the day
OT: no, just... no
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"Under the weather, I never got better.
Wrapped up in my disease.
Mile away, she want to count my day.
Look a little older in the light."
Cute couple. They appear to be happy. But I saw his personal ID on wealthy men personals site """""C e l e b C u p i d.c o m""""" yesterday. What is he looking for on that site? Looking for sugarbabe?
"Submitted by parissucksliterally on July 27, 2008 - 7:34pm."
ahahahahaha Blohan is on their shitty tipper list. So is David Lee Roth.
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Pearls of Wisdom from JJ - "If ass-holes could fly, you guys would be an airport"
Won't it be a great day when Braddy Brat Daddy is caught boinking the nanny, any nanny will do. Even Angelina's holy holes will be showing the inevitable signs of mileage. She'll likely need abdominoplasty, haemorrhoidectomy, at least!
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stack the fridge & stoke the bong
we're staying home tonite
http://youtube.com/watch?v=ekc-4V0MXv8
bobbledunk, your cousin can get out her aggression towards Bono on bitterwaitress.com- people talked about celebs they have served, who was nice, and who doesn't tip for shit.
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You took the words right out of my mouth
It must have been while you were kissing me
You took the words right out of my mouth
Oh I swear it's true I was just about to say "I love you"
'K Bonno is not a hot pepaw, and needs to give it up...
Seriously, Bonno makes Vadge look not so pathetic...Hell, even Mick Jagger looks better than Bono...He needs to be a recluse who just gives away money and shit... Those sunglasses and rededing hair line? Yeah, SEXAY...Pssht...He probably sucks in bed too...And his band needs to call it a day already...DONE
O/T: It's very fitting that pretentious "philanthropists" would christen incredibly spoiled over indulged children together...I'm sure all of Africa is touched by this...
Call me touched when these whores live like the rest of us and give REAL money away..fuck Bon-ho, AnHO-lina, and Brat Pitts...Fuck 'em up the ass.
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
Is it too extreme for me to wish and pray that they unwittingly hire angelique from rock of love2 as their children's french tutor?
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*I used to Love Celebrities, now I just love to Hate them!*
Submitted by bobbledunk on July 27, 2008 - 5:50pm.
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Bono sounds like a total asshole. I wish your cousin had gone to the media.
Submitted by mslewis on July 27, 2008 - 8:16pm.
Anyway, just my two cents. Except I find it hilarious how much all of you hate Angelina and Brad. Don't have a problem with it except that it's so vicious!! Funny . . . but vicious.
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Believe me, they're not special. If they step on to a D-Listed page they're bound to get it. The more often they get themselves in the paper for stupid shit, the more often they end up on here. Brangelina have just been on a roll is all.
♥ ThreadKilla! / Lean Like a Chola / She's a Lady.
Miss American Dream.
I miss our James Haven. :(
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Dick happens! - MK
6. Kill Criss Angel because he knows how to walk on water.
Speaking of his skank ass, I saw a commercial for his show coming up this week, some such nonsense about him trying to get out of a building before it blows up. I thought that show was canceled. MK hasn't posted about him in a while.
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Dick happens! - MK
Remember those Chuck Norris jokes? I'm totally going to replace "Brangelina" into all of them.
Submitted by mike on July 27, 2008 - 5:35pm.
I'd actually support them when it came to #6
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So would I. Only because such a person actually exists. That hair kills me.
EatYourVeggies:
7. Rededicate the Taj Mahal to themselves
__________________________________________________
Are you ready to unleash the motherfuckin' fury of CAPS LOCK?!
EatYourVeggies's picture
Submitted by EatYourVeggies on July 27, 2008 - 8:34pm.
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ROFLMAO @ your list!
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"Ed Westwick is not gay - he's British!"
parissucksliterally:
I agree with you on that one. Kids whose parents are constantly on the move are very unsettled emotionally (I saw it with my niece & nephew - their dad was in the military & they moved like, every 6 mos.) They aren't able to make any solid relationships with anyone outside the family. I feel bad for them...
Submitted by EatYourVeggies on July 27, 2008 - 8:34pm.
I'd actually support them when it came to #6
Geez. I wonder if they have a list of douchey/ pretentious things they would like to accomplish before they have their fifteenth child. Would it look like this?
1. Have a galaxy named "Brangelina".
2. Own all 7 continents.
3. Remove Mother Theresa from history.
4. Have Saint Angelina replace her.
5. Win multiple Oscars each year, even if its
only for delivering the most holy of crotchfruits.
6. Kill Criss Angel because he knows how to walk on water.
I just want Brad and Angie to just stay in ONE place for a few years, and give those kids a fucking chance to set some roots...otherwise, I really don't care....they don't infuriate me in any way...I worry about the kids though
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You took the words right out of my mouth
It must have been while you were kissing me
You took the words right out of my mouth
Oh I swear it's true I was just about to say "I love you"
Submitted by Sheeps on July 27, 2008 - 8:26pm.
I don't hate them either; I actually find them quite dull. What I do hate is the attention they receive.
It's so unwarranted.
mslewis - I prefer to look at this as a mutually beneficial relationship. Jolie and Pitt, both have an equally deep, bottomless pitt (there I go again) for an ego, and a matching insatiable need for attention. And we are just accommodating them. Now if they want us to write NICE things....hmmmmmm....perhaps we can talk price.
Personally, for me, they are gonna have to fork over at least one, make that two, of their little urchins to a proper family; and surrender two or three of those matchbox houses in NOLA for my personal use during Mardi Gras weekends; and sign a contract agreeing NOT to return to the U.S. And then I'll consider saying something nice.
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"My job is to make sure you do your job, so my jurisdiction's pretty much in your face." - ????
Submitted by soul on July 27, 2008 - 7:23pm.
"Bono to be the godfather"
of course, couldn't be a reletive or friend of the family.such drama.
Yea, that's what i was thinking too. why not some nobody who really has known them for years? or did they dispose of those boring, unimportant people so they could only be around rich and famous ones?
I'm watching girl interrupted right now and this chick really playes the sociopath way too well.
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