Friday, July 25th 2008
Not A Grey Poupon Fan
22-year-old Vitaly Kovtun was stopped at a red light in Salt Lake, Utah, when a car pulled up beside him. The passenger in the other car asked him to roll down his window. When Vitaly rolled down his window, the passenger asked, "Excuse me, sir, do you have any Grey Poupon?"
That's when Vitaly reached in his glove compartment, pulled out a gun, cocked it, aimed it at the other car and said, "Here's your Grey Poupon, roll your fucking windows up." Hmmm...maybe he's a French's type of dude?
When Vitaly drove off, the passenger in the other car got his license plate information and called the cops. Payback sucks. Vitaly was arrested and charged with felony aggravated assault.
Some douchebags can't take a stupid joke. Vitaly needs to lighten up and get fucked with a funny bone. If you told him a knock-knock joke, he'd probably shoot you in the face.
That being said, I'd hit it in a bathtub full of Grey Poupon.
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He is my favorite. Just saw his personals ID on millionaires personals site """"""""""C e l e b C u p i d.c o m""""""""""""" yesterday. I am wondering what kind of relationship he is looking for on that site.
WHOMEVER THAT IS LOL
www.MySpace.com/ItsJonaBitch
Ahahah, that was brilliant!
"Here's your Grey Poupon, roll your fucking windows up."
ahaha!
____________________I <3 STEWIE!____________________
Submitted by Mel-Tang on July 26, 2008 - 9:28am.
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Mel I read your comments the other night about your sweet dog. I'm so sorry.
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Nous les hommes, nous aimons les femmes parce qu’au lit elles sont audacieuses, non pas parce qu’elles ont une nature perverse, mais parce qu’elles désirent nous faire plaisir~Paulo Coehlo, "Guerrier de Lumière"
He looks like Lance Bass with no make-up.
<3-------------------------------<3
RIMADYL KILLS
Rest In Peace, baby boy
I love you
OMG yes, James Haven lookalike ---TOTALLY!! :D
you can carry a gun in utah? this is a dry state yes? but guns are ok?
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butt sex can lead to ass babies...be sure to use a condom...
Here's a thought...don't roll down your window. Just keep staring straight ahead. Fuckwad.
Well, that was an over reaction.
Submitted by Madamoiselle9 on July 26, 2008 - 5:50am.
fucking entitled communist russian douche boys.
Oh please - what's more american than a dumbfuck waving a gun for no reason?!
Vitaly is quite the pussy.
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If you don't leave so I can spend some quality time with my man, next I'll show you my pooter.
fucking entitled communist russian douche boys. fuck! look at his cold eyes. When I read that shit, even befoer lookin at the name, one look at his ass face and I knew he was russian....le sigh..my people are really quite shameful..
OMG! Years ago my friend and I would be stopped next to a car (always a guy) and I would tell him to roll down the window, when he did I would say: Knock, Knock. The guy would say: Who's there. OJ. OJ who? - You're on the jury!
Imagine if I did that to this guy!
There is a man whom I immediately assume has a dick the size of a virgin's clit and an inversely proportional amount of insane hulk-like rage.
If your first response to a bad joke is to pull a gun and threaten the life of the jokester I suspect it's likely you spent a lot of time getting the shit kicked out of you in high school.
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Surfing the apocalypse.
LMAO omg hahahahaha people these days..
"yeah. like i'm gonna have anal sex and sit on a plane for 6 HOURS!" - joel mchale<3
Submitted by Tigerlilly on July 25, 2008 - 10:36pm.
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No question Tiger. That argument is water tight.
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Nous les hommes, nous aimons les femmes parce qu’au lit elles sont audacieuses, non pas parce qu’elles ont une nature perverse, mais parce qu’elles désirent nous faire plaisir~Paulo Coehlo, "Guerrier de Lumière"
Submitted by joe shmoe on July 25, 2008 - 9:23pm.
Submitted by Tigerlilly on July 25, 2008 - 10:17pm.
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I'm with ya on this one, Tiger. I used to use Grey Pou in my Caesar dressing, but now I've switched to American mustard. Much tastier
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See? There we go...The two of us ho's will exonerate young Vitaly on the grounds that Grey Poop sucks..(that's a complicated leagal strategy, but it basically means...er, well..Grey Poop sucks...)
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
Submitted by EveryStrangersEyes on July 25, 2008 - 9:20pm.
Submitted by Tigerlilly on July 25, 2008 - 10:17pm.
*holding $10's and $20's*... i LOVE the happy tiger dance!!
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Ohhhhh...you want THAT kind of tiger dance, do ya, ya dirty bird...Well...
Sloooooowly slipping on all four clear, lucite platform hooker shoes...
Oh, you like that, don't you..you naughty, naughty...
Struttin' my tiger stuff across the cage...er, I mean stage...Oh, yeah, you're a bad boy now, aren't ya...
LUNGING FOR YOUR...
uh-oh, Zoo officials...*tiger paws in the air*
Hey, man, I wasn't going for anything deadly...I...Oh, no dude, don't taaaa...
*Ping*....
Tiger down...
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
Submitted by Tigerlilly on July 25, 2008 - 10:17pm.
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I'm with ya on this one, Tiger. I used to use Grey Pou in my Caesar dressing, but now I've switched to American mustard. Much tastier.
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Nous les hommes, nous aimons les femmes parce qu’au lit elles sont audacieuses, non pas parce qu’elles ont une nature perverse, mais parce qu’elles désirent nous faire plaisir~Paulo Coehlo, "Guerrier de Lumière"
Submitted by Tigerlilly on July 25, 2008 - 10:17pm.
*holding $10's and $20's*... i LOVE the happy tiger dance!!
OT: meh, mustard
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"If heat rises, Heaven may be hotter than Hell."
Submitted by Leatherette on July 25, 2008 - 9:04pm.
In Guncrazy's defense, Grey Pou-poo is overrated. I mean, I can't taste no white wine in that shit! Shit tastes like horseradish, salt and vinegar, period. Every time a cookin' ho on the Food Network Channel tells my tiger ass I need some Dijon mustard, I go for the Grey Poop. Why? Cuz it's 'spose to be the best. Well, it ain't that special, so I can see going into a homicial rage over that, but only if you plan to eat what you kill, with a nice Gulden's Spicy Brown Mustard...
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mmmmm MMMM! Dip that muthafucka in borscht, baby!
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with some sour cream! *doing happy tiger dance*...
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
In Guncrazy's defense, Grey Pou-poo is overrated. I mean, I can't taste no white wine in that shit! Shit tastes like horseradish, salt and vinegar, period. Every time a cookin' ho on the Food Network Channel tells my tiger ass I need some Dijon mustard, I go for the Grey Poop. Why? Cuz it's 'spose to be the best. Well, it ain't that special, so I can see going into a homicial rage over that, but only if you plan to eat what you kill, with a nice Gulden's Spicy Brown Mustard...
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mmmmm MMMM! Dip that muthafucka in borscht, baby!
Submitted by Granny Clampett on July 25, 2008 - 9:55pm.
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Hahahahahaha! What about: "Hello - this is Maytag, is your fridge running? It is? Well you'd better go catch it"...we go mental when they slammed the phone down. Ahhhh peurile adolescent humour....
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Nous les hommes, nous aimons les femmes parce qu’au lit elles sont audacieuses, non pas parce qu’elles ont une nature perverse, mais parce qu’elles désirent nous faire plaisir~Paulo Coehlo, "Guerrier de Lumière"
When I first saw this picture I thought that James Haven got arrested.
Yeah that dude really needs to lighten the fuck up....When I was in college circa 1986 we used to call people up at 3 am and yell "Snausages!" and hang up (Those of you who were not in fetal form in the '80s probably remember that commercial. Snausages were a dog treat). Yeah I "Snausagized" people and was "Snausagized" by others. It was in good fun, no one went psycho about it but those were purer times....
That's what he gets for leaving witnesses.
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My life is nothing but a convoluted drinking game.
This story is fabulous from beginning to end.
In Guncrazy's defense, Grey Pou-poo is overrated. I mean, I can't taste no white wine in that shit! Shit tastes like horseradish, salt and vinegar, period. Every time a cookin' ho on the Food Network Channel tells my tiger ass I need some Dijon mustard, I go for the Grey Poop. Why? Cuz it's 'spose to be the best. Well, it ain't that special, so I can see going into a homicial rage over that, but only if you plan to eat what you kill, with a nice Gulden's Spicy Brown Mustard...That's some good shit there...What?
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
I was just telling the BF about this and he said it's funnier that Vitaly did what he did because he's always wanted to do that and besides the whole Grey Poupon thing is so circa 1988. Those a-holes in Utah should know better than to fuck with the Russian mafia, for shame!
That's the funniest and the coolest thang I heard in the whole week! Russians are awesome! Bwahahaaaa!
Hahahaaa!! This is hilarious! I've felt like pulling a gun in traffic so many times. That's what the poupon dude gets for being stupid.
I love to see how this guy reacts to "Where's the beef?"
"Cucumbers are for lightweights! Buttered up butternut squash is the way to go!"--MK 6/4/08
"Some douchebags can't take a stupid joke. Vitaly needs to lighten up and get fucked with a funny bone. If you told him a knock-knock joke, he'd probably shoot you in the face."
Whores, you know how some days you tune into Dlisted and something MK says just slays ya? More than the usual.
Well, it could be cuz I just had my first sip of wine for the eve or maybe cuz I had me some good sexy times today with the BF and am all relaxed but this post MADE ME PISS MY PANTS LAUGHING!
How I love this site and the freaky funbag runnin' it.
Thanks MK. You make my day.
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"Cucumbers are for lightweights! Buttered up butternut squash is the way to go!"--MK 6/4/08
what is this world coming to?!... i mean, really?!?!... *muttering under breath*.. can't have free will with Grey Poupon jokes. next thing you know, ketchup jokes are out the window. not far behind that, nobody, and i mean NOBODY is going to be allowed to pickle dance... *best Fred Flintstone voice*.. racken, fracken, lacken, sonofa...
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"If heat rises, Heaven may be hotter than Hell."
A frustrated Gay Mormon!
what the other driver did not know vitaly is the sole heir to the Plochman’s mustard empire yall!!heehehehe cough :)
Cock sucking lips.
''One snap of my fingers and I can raise hemlines so high the whole world's your gynecologist.'' - Patsy Stone
Oh who wouldn't secretly just want to point a gun at some of the cattle who walk this Earth during some of their more incredibly creative stupid moments? Damn common sense and personal responsibility ruins so many potentially good times and learning experiences! Well, on the positive side of things, they'll NEVER even think of telling that lame assed joke again!
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Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most!
DiamondDawg - I keep a small bottle of tabasco sauce in my purse. Its cuz I like my shit hot and I put it on just about everything.
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Pearls of Wisdom from JJ - "If ass-holes could fly, you guys would be an airport"
Submitted by nounorverb on July 25, 2008 - 5:50pm.
"Here's your Grey Poupon... roll your fucking windows up!"
This is fucking brilliant and really the only way to respond to someone who would randomly revisit a commercial 20- odd years after the fact. His response is 100% more amusing than the losers who asked him for the mustard to begin with. Kudos!
reply • report abuse
Submitted by hookah88 on July 25, 2008 - 5:25pm.
pshhh i think the guy who told that lame o joke is the douchebag..who does that shit anymore, it's not even funny. i would have done the same thing that mr. russia did. dude must have pissed his pants.
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FOR.THE.MUTHAFUCKIN.HONORABLE.MENTIONS!
Submitted by rebanndel on July 25, 2008 - 5:12pm.
(In best Samuel L. Jackson voice)
Grey Poupon, muthafucka! Do you have it?!?!
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FOR.THE.MUTHAFUCKIN.WIN!
Touchy guy, to say the least.
"Society sooner or later must return to its lost leader,the cultured and fascinating liar. . ."
Oscar Wilde
"Here's your Grey Poupon... roll your fucking windows up!"
This is fucking brilliant and really the only way to respond to someone who would randomly revisit a commercial 20- odd years after the fact. His response is 100% more amusing than the losers who asked him for the mustard to begin with. Kudos!
pshhh i think the guy who told that lame o joke is the douchebag..who does that shit anymore, it's not even funny. i would have done the same thing that mr. russia did. dude must have pissed his pants.
(In best Samuel L. Jackson voice)
Grey Poupon, muthafucka! Do you have it?!?!
OK, people in Salt Lake are far too trusting. Anyone in NYC or L.A. would know NEVER to pull "hilarious" crap like that. I guess they thought "hey, he's a white guy, he'll appreciate a fun joke!" WRONG. Those Russian guys will bust a cap on your ass without so much as a shiver. People in Salt Lake must think they live in Disneyland. Idiots.
After realizing that he has yet to grasp American humor, 22-year-old Vitaly Kovtun, gives it another try.
Pulls his car up to a bunch of kids in a '92 Honda Civic, rolls down his window, motions for kids to do the same...
ViKov yells "knock, knock"
Civic Kids "Who's there?"
ViKov "Glock"
Kids "Glock who"
ViKov "Glock this...BOOM"
Vitaly is now someone else beetch on death row.
American humor is not on a learning curve.
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Rose: Sophia, why are you in such a bad mood?
Sophia: Excuse me Rose, I haven't had sex in fifteen years and it's starting to get on my nerves.
Boondog ~ you need to get an avie so you can sit at the Big Kids table with us.
Submitted by Boodog on July 25, 2008 - 1:31pm.
Boars Head Deli Mustard - YUM!
Mrs. K - I like both mustard and ketchup on my hotdogs and mayo on my burgers...please don't hate me!!
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dayum. that's a lot of sauces on your food! i suggest you add teriyaki, too.
lol
heart boodog!
Since Miss Kovtum is an obvious homosexual, the other driver was trying to make the 'Gay Poop-on' joke.
We are glad that he turned in the sour Miss K!
Perhaps Missy will get something to make her see the face of the Lord if she spends a little time in the pokey(as in 'poke')!
What is this queen famous for anyway, may we ask? We certainly never heard of her>
Submitted by Leatherette on July 25, 2008 - 1:29pm.
Euphoria: quit over-analyzating my poetries!
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LOL