Paps Busted On Brangelina's Holy Land
A couple of paps thought it would be a smart idea to dress in camouflage and sneak on to Brangelina's holy land yesterday afternoon. The idiots were immediately caught by Brangie's security team and they all started fighting. The two paps and two security guards were questioned by police. Both sides filed complaints. A spokesbitch for the police said the injuries weren't major, just scratches and bruises.
The head of Brangie's security team said, "We caught the two and tried to escort them off the property and the guy's just gone beserk, thrashing out, kicking and actually biting one of the security people, breaking his finger, drawing blood and screaming that he had Hepatitis C."
Brangie's security guards were given doctor's notes, giving them four days off of work.
The paps were probably trying to get pictures of the twin messiahs. Brad Pitt has already threatened to sue bitches for publishing pictures of him and his family on their private property in France. If a clear picture of the twin messiahs is published, it could affect Brangie's $11 million deal for the first pictures of the chosen ones.
Security team my ass. Maddox caught them and immediately screamed for Zahara and Pax to come back him up. He didn't call for Shiloh because he always forgets her name. Shit, they all forget her name. The Brangie child army took care of those paps and all was well again.
By the way, you know Jennifer Aniston hired those paps. She's trying to fuck with Saint Angelina's money! Try harder, Jen, try harder!
You said it aunt bea! And we know Johnny depp has been living. The same neighborhood for years, so why haven't paps trespassed on his property? Any pics I've seen of him and his family has been somewhere more public, like the beach! Brad and angelina draw too much attention to themselves, if they want to be left alone, they need to lay low for awhile!
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*I used to Love Celebrities, now I just love to Hate them!*
These two love this shit. If the paps stayed away, and they weren't on one magazine cover for a month, they would die.
Submitted by cartimandua on July 25, 2008 - 2:55pm.
Love it how Pitt and Jolie are threatening to take their 'business' elsewhere if the French police don't 'hop to' and start serving them better.
ha, ya! Maybe they should have thought of that before they started acting like such attention whores!!! They brought this on themselves!!!! And haven't they moved around enough for those poor kids to have to deal with???
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*I used to Love Celebrities, now I just love to Hate them!*
The Golden Globs are nowhere to be seen from the outside.
Pittiful is afraid of the pictures of his real hairline without the hat or the wig.
"I won't hide for you that this kind of thing is really not the type of problem that interests us. There are, in my opinion, far more important things than paparazzi taking photos of a glamour couple."
That is because they are a little village that has like a 5 person police squad. THey want to sit around drinking expresso, eating croissant and watching the telly.. at the most helping the local farmer catch his mean swan that is loose and terrorizing the local children. Or that old man who like to flash you when he goes to get the paper from the yard.
Taking in bleeding paps with criminal records dressed in camo and carrying enough supplies for a week and hand cannon of a camera is not their forte. Nor the threat of BP/AJ leaving due to their lack of concern. I'm sure they are shaking in their boots at the idea of the Jolie-Pitt clan leaving before the 3 month lease is up! They probably can't wait for the sleepy town to become sleepy again.
Well...Captain 'Poupon' had better be careful. From what I hear, the 'Loons are after her hide for not taking the security of their sacred godspawn seriously.
(Picking myself up off the floor after Holly's post. "Malachi! He wants you too! Malachi! He wants you tooooooooo.....")
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"What codswallop." A. Platell
Twosie, she is the child everyone would want. CAUSE SHE NEEDS SAVING. Get a grip. MK is already famous. He is the Marhsall Applewhite of blogs!@!! LOL, I am kidding, MK. But not really...we will follow you to the Hale Bopp.
Man, I got the clearest vision of some Children of the Corn shit, MK. Maddox in bib overalls with no shirt and a mini pitchfork, Pax shoeless and snarling with a sharpened hickory stick...more and more Pitt children slowly emerging from the woods in a circle around the paps, weapons drawn.
Hey Deb. Yeppers...I'm sure those guards had heard THAT ONE a million times...no wonder they didn't stop waling on those guys. ;-)
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"What codswallop." A. Platell
Submitted by Paige123 on July 25, 2008 - 3:37pm.
I really, really want some paps to go in and take pictures of the "golden twins" so Angelina and Brad do not make millions off their photos.
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And then print them on TP so we can wipe our asses with them.
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I like to say the eff word.
Hi Carti,
On the other hand, I will quit using the old "I have hep c" during a beat down. Everyone is using it. ((sigh))
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Rose: Sophia, why are you in such a bad mood?
Sophia: Excuse me Rose, I haven't had sex in fifteen years and it's starting to get on my nerves.
I really, really want some paps to go in and take pictures of the "golden twins" so Angelina and Brad do not make millions off their photos.
So Pitt's security chief denies giving these two paps a beatdown. Therefore, by logical extrapolation, we must assume these paps deliberately bashed their heads into the guards' walkie-talkies giving themselves lacerations that require stitches. Yep, that makes sense.
More from the AP....
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"Jolie returned last weekend to the estate after the July 12 birth of her twins, Knox Leon and Vivienne Marcheline, in the Mediterranean city of Nice, about 60 miles away.
Goursolas claimed that Pitt came out to speak to them after the fight. "He told me, 'What you are doing is bad, I am fed up with my private property being violated' ... and then he said, 'If you want war you will get it.'"
Webb said he wasn't on hand at that point but added that he didn't think Pitt said that.
Police spokeswoman Capt. Olivia Poupot said both sides filed legal complaints accusing the other of battery and causing injury. Goursolas said he also filed complaints for illegal detention and arrest."
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And here I thought the Hallowed Ones hated war.
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"What codswallop." A. Platell
oh boo hoo, MK, don't pick on little piloh shit pitt cause she's the perfect golden child that we all wish we could push out of our ass lips.
Okay, I'm back from a late lunch.
What did I miss?
I see Swiss Miss Edmund got a steaming hot cup of "Whoop Ass".
I brought the marshmallows.
Submitted by twosie on July 25, 2008 - 3:07pm.
I believe you're very jealous of her and have an unnatural desire to be famous.
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Jealous of a two-year-old? Are you fucking serious? Only you wankers over at JJ could be jealous of a toddler.
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I like to say the eff word.
@M.E.,
Get your finger out of your ear.
@Twosie,
Get hour fist out of your ass.
Now billing for Doctors Hours...hee hee!
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Rose: Sophia, why are you in such a bad mood?
Sophia: Excuse me Rose, I haven't had sex in fifteen years and it's starting to get on my nerves.
Oh, so she's prefect and I should want her because she's white and blonde and also has anus lips?
I personally would rather have a child of any color or shade that came from a stonger gene pool. You know, one that might not be completely stupid.
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"Self-promotion, for me, is like going to the dentist" —Daniel Craig
Submitted by twosie on July 25, 2008 - 3:07pm
I rather know why Miss Voight is embarrassed of her own daughter? Not so perfect? To me my daughter is perfect, faults and all.
Off Topic - I somehow scratched the inner part of my ear cannal, and it scabbed over, and now, it itches like a MOTHERFUCKER!
Carry on....
OMG! That police captain needs to be HSOE!!!!!!
we can't make judgements on how perfect these kids are......ah, fuck it. Why bother?
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Showin of your ass cuz you're thinking it's a trend girlfriend, let me break it down for you again; you know I only say this cuz I'm truly genuine, don't be a hard rock when you really are a gem
Submitted by twosie on July 25, 2008 - 11:07am.
Michael K,
Why do you always make fun of Shiloh? She's just an innocent babe in this papparazzi-laden world. She's the perfect child every parent would want.
I believe you're very jealous of her and have an unnatural desire to be famous
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THE FUCK?
Submitted by twosie on July 25, 2008 - 3:07pm.
She's the perfect child every parent would want.
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?????????????????????????????????????????
Based on what?
Don't answer. It won't make any sense. Just make grilled swiss cheese sandwiches with Edmund. You can both tape pics of Brad and Angie on your face and play make believe.
Submitted by twosie on July 25, 2008 - 3:07pm.
As a woman i must say that i would not want Shiloh as a child. She seems kind of....Swiss.
I also dont like her thoughts on the way Sudanese tribes have handled the irrigation proposal.
And she always breathes through her mouth. Its so Jessica Simpson.
Ok thanks!
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We is tailing jokes in hair twoday!
Michael K,
Why do you always make fun of Shiloh? She's just an innocent babe in this papparazzi-laden world. She's the perfect child every parent would want.
I believe you're very jealous of her and have an unnatural desire to be famous.
Sugarbella - I think I have seen that av elsewhere...clue me in...
Part of the official AP version:
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PARIS (AP) -- It sounds like a scene from "Fight Club."
French police say camouflaged paparazzi who managed to get onto the grounds of Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt's chateau in southern France on Thursday fought with the Hollywood couple's guards. Both the paparazzi and the Jolie-Pitt's head of security confirmed the confrontation but gave widely different versions of events.
Freelance photographer Luc Goursolas said he broke a guard's finger and bit another until he bled, and that they hit him with a walkie-talkie, punched and kicked him, leaving a head wound that required three stitches.
'I was pouring blood. I threw myself at them, put blood all over them, and told them that I had HIV so they would stop hitting me,' Goursolas told The Associated Press on Friday.
Tony Webb, head of security at the Miraval estate, said Goursolas went "berserk" without provocation and denied that his guards punched the photographer.
He said Jolie and Pitt may be forced to move if their privacy is not respected, and that the couple feels besieged. He said local police are not taking the problem seriously enough.
'If they get invasion of their privacy like this then they would have no option, and they would have to go somewhere where the laws are upheld a bit better,' Webb told the AP.
Goursolas said he wasn't on the property but in woods nearby where the guards, on quad bikes, found him. "The forest belongs to everyone," he said, adding that he walked five hours to get there. 'I wasn't in their garden.'"
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Love it how Pitt and Jolie are threatening to take their 'business' elsewhere if the French police don't 'hop to' and start serving them better.
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"What codswallop." A. Platell
gee.....maybe they should stop selling pics of their children to the tabs and then the paps would leave them alone.
Submitted by cartimandua on July 25, 2008 - 2:26pm
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most loons are not American. Some are but most aren't. Thus, the usually poor and broken English on JJ. No offense to my snarky foreign friends. Just saying.
Submitted by Mrs.Kravitz on July 25, 2008 - 10:51am.
Submitted by Karen Flatts on July 25, 2008 - 10:24am.
I will meet you in Stockholm when we go to get our Nobel prizes, 'K?
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Ok. We can work on our Joint Project-- you remember, the one where we broker World Peace. Oh wait, Brangelina beat us to it. Maybe we could just play Yahtzee then (although my Yahtzee Shaker is usually full of Boone's Farm, baby!!)
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Submitted by Two Drink Min on July 25, 2008 - 10:49am.
Karen Flatts - That police captain should be HSOTY!
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Definitely. If not HSOT Millenium!!!
Dammit...I missed the Swiss mess. I love International Loons. Confirmation that is not just Americans who have lost their freakin' minds.
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"What codswallop." A. Platell
And here I thought the Swiss were neutral. Shows what I know!
Edmund, my watch is slow. Can you fix it?
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"yes, DUH, I am a low rent whore"
SCAM TIMES!!!!
(see page 3, it's hilarious:)
♥ ThreadKilla! / Lean Like a Chola / She's a Lady.
Miss American Dream.
That shit isn't cool.
Too bad brad doesn't have a pap hunting license. It's a big piece of property. No one would find the hole for a long time.
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Surfing the apocalypse.
Please, they used the veranda a stage of sorts. They knew pics would be coming. Thus AJ's little expose...
Evil Shoe - you missed it, few of us got chewed out by the Swiss Miss...basically another loon...I have to say though reminds me of someone I am think L.......
I'm curious, the photo's that Brad was bitching about were the ones of him and his family (i.e. parents, kids, skank)in the backyard, right? Well, if these were taken by helicopter, why are there NO photo's of any of them looking up in the air. I would think as a celebrity one would be very aware of anything flying over head and would have a tendency to look UP. Yet, they didn't seem phased by it. I find it hard to believe anyone could get a shot through all those acres of land, even hanging from a tree!
Whoa, whats this about and in broad daylight too!
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Dick happens! - MK
Submitted by Karen Flatts on July 25, 2008 - 10:24am.
I will meet you in Stockholm when we go to get our Nobel prizes, 'K?
-☮'---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮-
Be kind. Everyone you meet is fighting a great battle. - Philo of Alexandria
Karen Flatts - That police captain should be HSOTY!
This from another site:
....police captain said the combatants' injuries amounted to little more than scratches and bruises. The captain said it was the first time the police have been summoned to Brad and Angie's place since they began living there earlier this year. She then became a hero by uttering the following in response to a deluge of questions about the incident:
"I won't hide for you that this kind of thing is really not the type of problem that interests us. There are, in my opinion, far more important things than paparazzi taking photos of a glamour couple."
HAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I have come to moderate. While I had hoped to remain neutral on the subject, world pressures have caused me to yodel with displeasure. I have read all the arguements and frankly, Edmond, yours are full of holes.
Edmund, you are now offically Berned.
Care for a fruit roll up on the way out the door?
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Rose: Sophia, why are you in such a bad mood?
Sophia: Excuse me Rose, I haven't had sex in fifteen years and it's starting to get on my nerves.
Submitted by Karen Flatts on July 25, 2008 -
However, when they make it so easy to make fun of them, it's almost like taking candy from a baby.
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Exactly. As a matter of fact, while we were having our way with Edmond, I calculated pi to its last digit AND discovered the pattern.
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Wow. You're good. All I could finish was my Quantum Physics Thesis and the last round of testing of my Leukemia Drug. I am so jealous.
Submitted by Mrs.Kravitz on July 25, 2008 - 1:20pm.
I wonder what SWISS cats even look like.
I must google these things!
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We is tailing jokes in hair twoday!
Submitted by LoLo on July 25, 2008 - 10:19am.
Fux i wish edmond at least had some myspace cats!
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I would so stalk them
-☮'---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮-
Be kind. Everyone you meet is fighting a great battle. - Philo of Alexandria
just call me Swiss-Missy
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Fuck 'Em If They Can't Take A Joke
a message from the Church of the SubGenius
Fredagen kan slicka min analöppning.
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I like to say the eff word.
Fux i wish edmond at least had some myspace cats!
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We is tailing jokes in hair twoday!
Submitted by Karen Flatts on July 25, 2008 -
However, when they make it so easy to make fun of them, it's almost like taking candy from a baby.
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Exactly. As a matter of fact, while we were having our way with Edmond, I calculated pi to its last digit AND discovered the pattern.
-☮'---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮-
Be kind. Everyone you meet is fighting a great battle. - Philo of Alexandria