Wino In Wax
Amy Wino's wax figure was unveiled today in London and the Crackie of Camden wasn't there, but her parents were. Ugh. They are such attention whores. I thought Mitch Wino was on his death bed or some shit? He had a miraculous recovery when he found out there was going to be cameras there.
Anyway, he told reporters that Wino is doing well, she's sad about Blaaake not coming home and blah..blah..blah.. He also joked about her wax figure, "Yeah, it’s great. We just said we’re going to take this one home with us and send the real one back." He's not joking.
If you ask me, the wax figure looks nothing like Wino! Her wax skin isn't falling off! Where's her signature crack pox? Where's her cat poo stained ballet slippers, her raggedy gold belt, her crackie coochie cutters and her burnt up fingers? This is not exact likeness! Wino didn't even look this clean when she was a baby. They could have at least put a crackpipe in one hand and an ice pop in the other.
Do you think that if you press her belly button, she screams "Blaaaaaaaaaake"? I should fucking hope so.
They also better be 24-hour security around this thing. Wino is going to break in, steal it and then try to smoke it up. You know it's her life-long dream to smoke herself up.
Wenn
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Who were they kidding, her tits aren't that perky,
Perhaps cos Amy never even bothered to arrive for any of the sittings. They used photos and a body double.
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So what if I sexualize things? I'll sexualize you in a minute!
No picked impetigo meth scabs? So much for authenticity.
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"What? Salma was supposed to stuff her melonitas into a million-dollar wedding dress and marry that rich bitch without a prenup." - MK 07/18/08
Wino hasn't looked that good for years.
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Help me Obi-Wan Kenobi. You're my only hope.
I cannot believe Amy's mother did not bother to get a little "cleaned up" before having her picture taken to be sent around the world! I would have at least had my hair done and put on a business pantsuit or a dress, with some hose and heels! sheeeeshhhh.......she looks like she is dressed to go out and do some yard work!
Are they making these wax figures for photo ops since the real ones look bad? Even Pitt and Jolie got a new one.
Nice of her mom to get all gussied up for the event.
Someone needs to make sure there's some powdered sugar up that thing's nose for authenticity.
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"There's a little bit of asshole in every nice guy, and there's a little bit of genius in every moron." - RDJ
It is a sad commentary on your life when A) the wax figure looks healthier and happier than the "live" person and B) when your parents are such leaches that they start to show up at your promo gigs.
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If you've never seen an elephant ski, you've never been on acid. - Izzard
At least Mom isn't wearing leggings.
(nicest thing I could come up with)
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My lyrics are sometimes sexist
But bitches oughta know
I’m trying to correct this.
Who were they kidding, her tits aren't that perky, also
(below me)"Wow, some wax figures look really off (any one of Brad Pitt's look terrible), but this is one is a good likeness.... even if it's a whole lot cleaner than Wino could ever hope to be."
True that, I've NEVER seen an accurate wax figure of Brad Pitt, ever. But you're right, each one they come out with looks better than the last. If Wino REALLY looked like that, fuck, even I'd hit ti!
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"Well sir your resume doesn't show any gynecological experience and your background check revealed you're a convicted sex offender, but your tallness is very impressive. Congratulations, You hired!"
That image is based on a former incarnation. Sad. The wax figure looks better than the live human.
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Surfing the apocalypse.
Wow, some wax figures look really off (any one of Brad Pitt's look terrible), but this is one is a good likeness.... even if it's a whole lot cleaner than Wino could ever hope to be.
Submitted by seras on July 23, 2008 - 7:45am.
Sad when a wax figure looks better than the real person.
My thoughts exactly! At least I am not itching from looking at this photo.
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And in the end the love you take
Is equal to the love you make
Mister Wino actually looks more waxen.
The wax statue looks a lot healthier than the original. Let's hope Wino follow the example.
Submitted by seras on July 23, 2008 - 7:45am.
Sad when a wax figure looks better than the real person.
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True~! This is the Hexiest wax figure Ive seen. If only Wino really looked like this... She would be hot-
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If I ever get to see Wino in wax, I'm going to steal her shoes.
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Fame was like a drug, but what was even more like a drug were the drugs. ~Homer Simpson
Her parents don't seem to notice the difference....sadness
Bet the wax figure gives a better performance too
Sad when a wax figure looks better than the real person.
Would it have killed her mother to suck in her gut and/ or wear a looser shirt for a press photo?
I was a fool to ever leave you
You were a fool to let me go