Wednesday, July 23rd 2008

Stoner Baby

Little Baby Levi is already awesome. While he was in the womb, Matthew McConaughey probably taught him how to make a bong with his umbilical cord. That way he can get an early start. The minute I saw Baby Levi on OK! Magazine, "Because I Got High" started playing in my head. He looks baked! Awww...I was about his age when I had my first joint too. Memories.

Matthew also talked about finding out the sex of their baby in the delivery room, "I said, 'Come here, little man. I saw the pecker and screamed that we'd been right all along about him being a boy. Then I brought him over to her [Camila]. It was neat to find out what the sex was because we didn't have the doctor tell us beforehand. I've pulled out some baby pictures of myself, and the resemblance is amazing. This kid has a lot to learn from us. I want him to come out being a little wiser, a little cooler and a little happier than we are."

Don't worry Matthew, he's already cooler than you.

Posted by: Michael K


EveryStrangersEyes's picture

Submitted by Aunt Bea on July 23, 2008 - 11:24pm.
He's such a dick

hey, hey, hey!.. don't talk that way about a baby!LOL!

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"Said, oh god, you gotta help me a little bit.
You've got to have a relief file for me."

Aunt Bea's picture

He's such a dick

HollyMadison's picture

LOL, that IS the most serene baby expression i've ever seen. It's cute!

Lindalou's picture

Submitted by islandgirl on July 23, 2008 - 7:25am.
God, he looks smug. And Levi's arms are probably already longer than Dad's.

LOL! Really I'm amazed Matthew was able to get his little T-Rex arm around his baby-mama's shoulder!

There is nothing left to be said damnit!

Euphoria's picture

Not surprisingly, Matty Mc looks baked in that picture...eyes, half-opened/half-closed. And that baby looks like his Mommy. He's a cutie and looks like he's blowing smoke (he got that part from his Daddy!)

TANGELINE's picture

That child looks like the mother. Alien looking though.. lol

He'll look more black.

Talibah's picture

OMG I REMEMBER THAT SONG!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Reeter's picture

Okay, I know a pecker is a pecker, but when it comes to your kids, you are supposed to use cute little names for that like a hoo-hoo.

dreamhypnotique's picture

Well, I can buy into MaMc carrying baby pictures of himself around for the sole purpose of whipping them out at a felicitous moment, but I'll bet he carries around head shots and topless photos of himself as his standard conversation piece.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
You wish.

www.myspace.com/dreamhypnotique
AIM dreamhypnotique

fionalicious's picture

Mateo fucking ruined that photo!!! why did he have to look at the camera? that's so fucking unnatural, he should have at least pretend like crazy-ass-bitch-cruise did with the vanity fair cover!
....i do hope the baby is smarter than he is, shit i bet he already is!

["Dude, your friends asked me to give you a message: Dump the bitch before you're sorry!"
'"Before you're sorry" a surprised Larson parrots].-
Too funny to be true.
But seriously Jorge, dump the witch bitch before u're sorry!

I love Matthew - how can you not like the guy ???

Notoriousrem_22's picture

Wow are you sure these were not taking right in the hospital room he was birthed in? He still looks like an alien (a cute one), how sad that they whored him out so early.

"I think you know that your more then just some fucked up piece of ass."
George Fuckin Michael.

parissucksliterally's picture

I agree Sheeps- adults get so few surprises.....just do the Nursery in neutral colors, and you're good to go...

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I wouldn't know what to do with another chance, if you gave it to me; I couldn't take the embrace of a real romance, it would race right through me...
-Fiona Apple "The Way Things Are"

Better not to know the sex beforehand. That way it's like Christmas morning. You can fix up the nursery later.

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Your manuscript is both good and original; but the part that is good is not original, and the part that is original is not good. (SJ)

parissucksliterally's picture

another baby whored out for money.....yay.

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I wouldn't know what to do with another chance, if you gave it to me; I couldn't take the embrace of a real romance, it would race right through me...
-Fiona Apple "The Way Things Are"

bourgie's picture

Wow that was fast! Oh and OK know nothing about brangelina. I know some fool who works at the US offices and he said they they make things up when they don't have access to some celebs.

She will be a single mom before long, getting $10,000 a month in child support. Mark my words!

Matthew looks stoned. I think OK! paid him in weed and rolling papers for these awesome pics.

LOVE CARROTTOP's picture

Why couldn't Matthew have just stayed hot and respectable circa A Time To Kill days?

Not So Fast Cowboy's picture

"I saw the pecker and screamed"

I'd give a guess that he's said those exact words before.

He's a twit but that is one good looking family.

The baby's hands are huge! He's gonna be a big boy.

Madam Pince's picture

Mateo doesn't look happy. I think it's sinking in that his weed and bongo money is now going to child support.

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Wilson: "When you care about someone ..."
House: "You LIE to them!"

angel_i's picture

EW! I fucking hate magazines....after all the JJ stuff, it occurred to me how crass the In Touch people are, for instance, with the Big Brangelina story front and centered and poor Jenho in the corner dealing with a fictional breakup. There is just no need for that unless you like to stir up shit. And this one, with that smug bitch smile: "All the Details." How fucking nauseating!

What is this thread about - o yeah. The baby. Nice. It looks like a baby. Good work:)

♥ ThreadKilla! / Lean Like a Chola / She's a Lady.
Miss American Dream.

Clarisse's picture

Angie and the Twins First Days At Home!

The Twins First Bowel Movement!

Angie's First Hit After The Birth!

I need a drink...

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If you've never seen an elephant ski, you've never been on acid. - Izzard

Deb's picture

Submitted by islandgirl on July 23, 2008 - 7:25am.
God, he looks smug. And Levi's arms are probably already longer than Dad's.

LOL! Really I'm amazed Matthew was able to get his little T-Rex arm around his baby-mama's shoulder!

"This ain't rock n roll. This is genocide!"

christine the hoff's picture

They didn't even wait a fat minute to ho him out, that is a new, newborn.
and douchegay's looking at the camera, it's all about him...

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"I don't like your grandma Cartmen, she smells like vitamins and pee."

AND as usual, the headline right above Matthew's head is about ANGELINA! That fuck steals everyone's thunder. How the hell would OK magazines get any details pertaining to the twins first days at home unless Jolie & Dipshitt phoned in the information?? Back to Matthew... I can't tell who the baby resembles, maybe the photo on the inside pages are better. Matt doesn't appear to be over the moon on the cover but then again maybe it's just a bad picture. I was a little puzzled by the comment, " I wish he's a little happier than us"...... WTF? Why just a little happier? Not that his life is so horrible to begin with but still.

Stock Broker's picture

Levi 501 will probably make a bong out of his bottle or a jar of Gerber food.
I'm sure his dad will show him how.

What an arrogant asshat.

ILoveRArmitage's picture

Wow, these two didn't waste any time in whoring out their baby. I wish these magazines would stop giving money to celebrities just because a sperm got together with an egg. It happens hundreds of thousands of times every day. These celebrity babies are not miracles and shouldn't get any special attention just because their parents fucked each other.

And in the first two weeks to be having photo shoots? What's next, exclusive photos of dad cutting the umbilical cord and baby's first photos still covered in all the blood and goo we are born with? Fucking celebretards.

_____________________________________________
Help me Obi-Wan Kenobi. You're my only hope.

joe shmoe's picture

Submitted by mike on July 23, 2008 - 8:45am.
********
My thoughts exactly.

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I thank God I was raised Catholic, so sex will always be dirty~John Waters

joanne's picture

Levi is a cuter but Matthew M. has it wrong, he needs to learn from the infant because the baby is smarter.

MargeAggedon's picture

Wow because no one else has ever had a baby. Ever. So this is totally news. Really. :P

Be glad when the celebutard spawn fest is over.

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Surfing the apocalypse.

TiredofthisCrap's picture

Awww he's a little cutey. God bless them. I see a tell all book about daddy in little Levi's future.

spankypants's picture

OK got him to put on a shirt!

ImpertinentVixen's picture

Jesus. Everything this freak says is fucking obnoxious. His face on this cover is smug and smirking. Of course his baby mama is looking at the baby and he is looking at the camera.

Twatsicle!

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"What? Salma was supposed to stuff her melonitas into a million-dollar wedding dress and marry that rich bitch without a prenup." - MK 07/18/08

LOVE CARROTTOP's picture

Hahaaha fuck, not even 5 minutes out of the womb and his dad is already talking about his pecker.

Man-whore in the making. Which one of you DListed sluts is going to be his cougar?

mike's picture

"a little cooler than me"

what a douchebag (and I still think he's at least partly gay)

Drinksonme's picture

The photo would have been better if Matt was looking down at his son also.I guess Matt will always have an inflated ego.I give this a year tops and Camilla and Levi will be in Brazil.

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Who was that guy last night,he left the seat up damn!

Mopa's picture

Now, the question is.....

Will Levi wait until his first child is born before he finally puts a shirt on in public?

Spoiled's picture

WTH, did they set up this photo shoot in the hospital's friggin' recovery room? That baby looks only hours old!

Submitted by islandgirl - God, he looks smug....

Oh so true! And the quotes? "This kid has a lot to learn from us" - gah! And how Matty's admisson that he isn't all that happy? That poor baby!

The C word's picture

It was great to read my birth announcement in which my dad wrote:
'I said, "Come here, little lady". I saw the vadge and screamed that we'd been right all along about her being a girl.'

I wonder how old Levi will be before he wears clothes for the 1st time....

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My lyrics are sometimes sexist
But bitches oughta know
I’m trying to correct this.

I'm sure Levi will grow into those ears. Otherwise, gorgeous like daddy.

Sluttsville's picture

Submitted by islandgirl on July 23, 2008 - 8:25am.

Hahahahahaha

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She's not kidding. I'm gonna whip ya silly and I'm gonna fuck ya stupid.

ISprainedMyUvula's picture

I'm still not convinced they don't use a prop baby for all these dumbass photoshoots.

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"There's a little bit of asshole in every nice guy, and there's a little bit of genius in every moron." - RDJ

Sluttsville's picture

That baby looks like he is exhaling smoke.....and I should know!

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She's not kidding. I'm gonna whip ya silly and I'm gonna fuck ya stupid.

loozer's picture

All he needs is baby bongos.
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And in the end the love you take
Is equal to the love you make

DeeDee's picture

Hahahaha IG!

Levi already has the stoner eyes. Nice.

☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺
Fame was like a drug, but what was even more like a drug were the drugs. ~Homer Simpson

islandgirl's picture

God, he looks smug. And Levi's arms are probably already longer than Dad's.

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Póg ma thoin.

Kizzy's picture

Awww, he is adorable. What a sweetie!!

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♥♥ If you don't talk to your Cat about Catnip, who will? ♥♥

TheBreakdown's picture

That baby looks high!

'Heaux Confessionals'
www.myspace.com/triston