Tuesday, July 22nd 2008
Mimi Still Dresses Like A 12-Year-Old From The 1980s
Does anybody here speak butterfly-talk? Can you please let this bitch know to stop buying her clothes in the juniors department at Kohl's. Mimi has a closet the size of fucking Greenland and this is the kind of shit she pulls out of it? Shit, she probably wore this same outfit when she was 12. Looking like a prostitot from the Reagan era is not cute.
Here's the ever-delusional Mimi outside of MTV studios in NYC today.
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Mimi loves her crazy and embraces it.
And also wears it.
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Madolyn: What do you expect coming in here?
Billy Costigan: I have to come here.
Madolyn: I know you have to come here, but now that you're here, what do you want?
Billy Costigan: You want the truth? Valium.
Submitted by James Haven on July 22, 2008 - 11:07pm.
Submitted by Lucy Goosey on July 23, 2008 - 4:57am.
i want you to love Jake G ultimately and reese to love her third. right b ehind the happiness that you see in the faces of the twins that look exactly like brad 1)(the most beautiful) and second to 2)john mayer (jen aniston's husband who abandoned her after brad left her for angie) we know she will never love anyone as much as Brad but we must go on. Optimists and followers of "the secret" r still praying for jen's happiness but really? john mayer? i would have been more convinced if it were john cusack
=love to get a jab in on the brangeloonies when i can
love me some Mayer....so what!!!its complicated
James Haven,
so sorry to hear that you turned down Avon.
You would have made an adorable and well informed spokesperson.
Good night and write back soon.
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Fashion is art that you wear - L.G.
I haven't read all of the comments and this may have been mentioned, but someone on another site I visit called her Butterfly Dogwhistle.
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-I heard we are going to Giant Ape Island to capture a giant ape.
-I wish we were going to Candy Apple Island.
-What do they got there?
-Apes. But they're not as big.
James Haven: When you make Brad his waffles, make a special batch of chocolate chip waffles for him ... using a well-known laxative. That will keep out your hair tomorrow. Also, tell Granny-from-Hell that you're out of wax and need to go get some. Then, haul to Hot Johnny's place for the day.
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I didn’t say that it was your fault – I said that I was going to blame you.
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Those mammaries get any perkier, she'll look like a bad case of goiter.
Why are they brown?
Submitted by Lucy Goosey on July 23, 2008 - 4:57am.
Avon doesn't have anything to offer. They first asked James Haven to be their spokesperson. He turned it down and then Reese took the job.
Besides, Reese doesn't like James Haven ever since she found a Valentine's Day card that Jake was going to send James Haven! It's not James Haven's fault he is irresistible!
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See James Haven in an Oscar winning performance!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2w9cKFiCrSU
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Submitted by shoe addict on July 22, 2008 - 8:03pm.
We needed a small intermission so that we could catch our breath before returned that unique loveliness known as Mariah.
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I didn’t say that it was your fault – I said that I was going to blame you.
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Submitted by James Haven on July 22, 2008 - 11:01pm
Take good care of yourself, James Haven, get some rest. Sweet dreams!!
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♥♥ If you don't talk to your Cat about Catnip, who will? ♥♥
THIS BITCH IS CRAZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZY
:(
George Carlin went to Heaven and left us with Dane Cook here in Hell
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You know, I rather like this God fellow. Very theatrical, you know. Pestilence here, a plague there. Omnipotence ... gotta get me some of that
Submitted by James Haven on July 22, 2008 - 8:01pm.
Good Night, Sweetums. Join us whenever you can.
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I didn’t say that it was your fault – I said that I was going to blame you.
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james haven should be in greece right now givin us second by second on brangelina 's movements. I'll be damned if i leave this computer and someone gets a peak before me...(rolls eyes in disgust). james haven please stay on topic!! these discussions are about the perfect angelic voice and patient beauty and gift of giving in song (second only to brangelina, shiloh and now the twins photo) that is mariah (lol)! for shiloh's sake get back to us with some feedback!!! please!!********************************************
love me some Mayer....so what!!!its complicated
Submitted by Momus the Sarcastic on July 23, 2008 - 4:54am.
Not a bad idea, Momus. But Brad is always creeping around it's just too risky. Brad is going on location for a new movie. James Haven might make a move then.
James Haven has to get some sleep. Before you know it, Brad will be looking for his waffles and goat cheese breakfast. James Haven has to give Granny Pitt a waxing and heaven's forbid he takes too much hair off her back!
Ok bitches it has been great seeing all of you! SmOOches! Take care, stay well and always moisturize!
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See James Haven in an Oscar winning performance!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2w9cKFiCrSU
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As long as she doesn't decide to remake "Glitter" I'm happy.
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♥♥ If you don't talk to your Cat about Catnip, who will? ♥♥
James Haven,
keep a stiff upper lip with the Mary Kay business. It will bounce back.
Have you considered Avon? Reese Witherspoon is their new spokesmodel. She has great appeal for the over 60 yr old crowd.
But Mary Kay does have those adorable pink cars, so hard to resist!
Good luck to you!
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Fashion is art that you wear - L.G.
I'm sure Mimi is emotionally stunted. She probably stopped maturing at the age of 12, so she thinks this is fine!!
Submitted by James Haven on July 22, 2008 - 7:51pm.
Can you sneak the little sweeties to Hot Johnny's place and let Daddy Voight snuggle with them for a bit while you give Vanessa a much needed facial?
Since Angie hiding out until she returns to her svelte self and Brad is sulking, you should have no problem.
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I didn’t say that it was your fault – I said that I was going to blame you.
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Submitted by Lucy Goosey on July 23, 2008 - 4:47am.
Lucy! so good to see you. Thanks for your kind words!
******************************************************************
See James Haven in an Oscar winning performance!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2w9cKFiCrSU
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Submitted by James Haven on July 22, 2008 - 9:47pm.
Submitted by dramaqueen365247 on July 23, 2008 - 4:44am.
dq! SmOOches! good to see you
Oh, Sweetie! Moi aussi! You have to be one of my fave dlisters ever. I'm sorry Brad's still giving you a hard way to go & still keeping you from your main squeeze. You are the MK pink Cadillac in my life, lovey!
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"I'm intellectual & stuff." "You're flunking English. That's your mother tongue & stuff."
http://www.myspace.com/dramaqueen365247
Submitted by Momus the Sarcastic on July 23, 2008 - 4:45am.
Thanks Momus -- MUAH
It is always good to come back here to Dlisted and see all of James Haven's favorites! You bitches know how to cheer a guy up!
Daddy Voight has been calling non stop begging James Haven to speak to Angie about letting him visit Knoxie and ViVi. It will take a miracle for that to happen. Meanwhile James Haven's MaryKay business is suffering and he fears he will never get that pink Hummer. Just as well. With the price of gas these days, James Haven is better off with his Vespa!
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See James Haven in an Oscar winning performance!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2w9cKFiCrSU
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Thanks PSL-
Sometimes I'm worried that I go on and on about singing when it's brought up, but if it's something you do for hourds everyday, it's hard to not talk about. lol.
I just wish that Mariah hadn't lost her voice because I used to ice skate in my back yard pond to her early 90's ballads.
Yeah, I kinda like ballads.
"To alcohol! The cause of and solution to all of life's problems!"-
no...thank you thayly, I found you "spew" interesting to read...
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"Yeah. I want at least five kids. I want twins. Blake is gonna be the most amazing Dad. When Blake was about we talked about it all the time."
-Amy Winehouse
Submitted by James Haven on July 22, 2008 - 10:44pm.
Submitted by Kizzy on July 23, 2008 - 4:38am
You are far more of a miracle worker with your Mary Kay, than Annie Sullivan ever dreamt of being.
Oh, you met the Depp. How hot was that? Worth the fuss over the boy. Run over there to the comfort and safety of Johnny Depp the next time they start abusing you.
You're such a good brother to your sister, I hope she appreciates all you do for her.
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♥♥ If you don't talk to your Cat about Catnip, who will? ♥♥
Submitted by dramaqueen365247 on July 23, 2008 - 4:44am.
dq! SmOOches! good to see you
******************************************************************
See James Haven in an Oscar winning performance!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2w9cKFiCrSU
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don't get me wrong mariah can hit the notes, but the divatude comes in the night before u know she has promised to hit those notes. with the tea and the room temp and the writing things down and not speaking to the lesser human beings in the room... poor nick cannon. any of us that r good looking and lazy could b married to a celeb but im too much of a bitch myself to succumb and cater to the nagging and bitching of a "celebrity"
who the fuck r u? there's always someone more famous, deserving etc.
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love me some Mayer....so what!!!its complicated
James Haven,
so nice to hear from you. I hope you are doing well in your duties as surrogate mother & father to the brood.
Your insights are always entertaining.
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Fashion is art that you wear - L.G.
JamesHaven, sweetie, we are very glad you're back with us and somewhat O.K.
Little Mad has become rather precocious little tyke.
The next "stick" you should put in Granny's mouth ought to be a very strong blunt obtained from Amsterdam. That'll quiet her ass.
As for Bratty Braddy. He's just sleep-deprived and crabby.
Remember, Angie and your fellow dlisters truly appreciate you.
*smoochies*
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I didn’t say that it was your fault – I said that I was going to blame you.
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I think that it is high time Angelina kiss her brother in public to show the world how near and dear he is to her heart.
Poor James Haven, I think Ange needs to control her man. Maybe he got one of his balls back from inside her purse and is abusing his newly recovered power?
"To alcohol! The cause of and solution to all of life's problems!"-
What happened to Moo-riah is pretty easy. We have to keep in mind that even before her freakout, she wasn't the brightest bulb on the tree. When she lost her shit, she went into therapy. That therapist gave her the metaphorical example of rebirth, renewal, as the butterfly emerges from the chrysalis, and that's all that loonie bitch latched onto. Since then, it's been butterfly mantra all the way.
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♥♥ If you don't talk to your Cat about Catnip, who will? ♥♥
James Haven, I haven't seen you in a coon's age, as we say in the un-literate 'ville. Missed you! Seems like the MK biz is keeping you in style. I'm glad.
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"I'm intellectual & stuff." "You're flunking English. That's your mother tongue & stuff."
http://www.myspace.com/dramaqueen365247
Submitted by Kizzy on July 23, 2008 - 4:38am.
Hello sweets! You are too kind. Brad will never be nice to James Haven.
Just the other day, James Haven lost the new kid. Luckily, the boy wandered over to the neighbors: The Johnny Depps! James Haven's all time man crush! James Haven's knees buckled as Mr. Depp himself, walked the new kid over to James Haven!
Is it James Haven, or is Mrs. Depp one homely looking lady? Nasty! James Haven convinced her to get a MaryKay makeover. Truth be told, James Haven doubts even the wonders of MaryKay can help that woman.
Poor Angie has vowed not to come out of her bedroom until she is a perfect size 0! James Haven has been sliding crackers under her bedroom door so she can keep up her strength.
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See James Haven in an Oscar winning performance!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2w9cKFiCrSU
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PSL-
I could believe 4 singable, 5 eekable- 4 singable is fricking psychotic. It would be the c below middle c way the fuck up to the c below the last c on the piano. I know she has this "high c" because I can sing it, too- she's whistle tones it in "Fantasy," or "Dreamlover", or something. It's called C7.
But for 5 octaves, she'd need to ad 13 notes (all those little black keys and white keys), which would mean she'd be singing as low as a bass-baritone down on c3 and higher than almost every sop alive up on c7.
She probably can eek out 5 octaves, because I believe she was inordinately gifted, but not all of those notes are singable. Like, you can't project or sing words on them. The reason why her range is larger than most opera singers (her fans say this all the time) is because the requirements for singable opera notes is higher-
opera singers sing in houses of over 5000 without a microphone and over an 88 piece orchestra (not every opera singer can do this- tons of different voice types), so obviously the notes we sing and consider in our range have to be solid.
Pop music recorders have mics to pick up every note they make, and even the live singers still have amazing mics, and typically back up singers whose voices are a pretty close match.
I have no idea why I just wrote all that, but sometimes I spew words.
"To alcohol! The cause of and solution to all of life's problems!"-
Seriously, would it kill Mariah Carey to actual dress in her decade?
For pete's sake, she's 38 years old. No matter how well your physique is, its pathetic to dress like an underage prostitute when you're past 30 yrs old.
Hire a stylist and pull yourself together.
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Fashion is art that you wear - L.G.
boomsy, whatever the fuck it is, it's annoying!
angel, what Mariah doesn't seem to grip is you can't TRY and be sexy...you either are, or you're not. Like being funny.
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"Yeah. I want at least five kids. I want twins. Blake is gonna be the most amazing Dad. When Blake was about we talked about it all the time."
-Amy Winehouse
Submitted by shoe addict on July 22, 2008 - 10:34pm.
i have the b-all..end-all reason why we can't stand mariah....she is almost 40 yrs old(born March 27, 1970)and insists on dressing like a teenager as if thats all we will see as sexy. she forces sexy down our throat!!
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For reals. What ever happened to women who are sexy just because they are and not because they try to be?
♥ ThreadKilla! / Lean Like a Chola / She's a Lady.
Miss American Dream.
Maybe Ms. Mimi has that Michael Jackson/Peter Pan syndrome thing going on where she never wants to grow up, hence the butterflies, rainbows, and all that jazz.
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Simplicity provides a fine line between eloquence and plainness. -LL Cool J
Submitted by James Haven on July 22, 2008 - 10:31pm
Oh you poor darling. I so worry about you, James Haven, all the abuse you must suffer through. I'm so sorry that awful Jane poured orange juice on your head. I'm even more sorry Brad didn't take your side against the wicked Grandmother. One day that Brad will realize you were only there to help him, and he will embrace you as a brother.
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♥♥ If you don't talk to your Cat about Catnip, who will? ♥♥
Submitted by thlayly5 on July 23, 2008 - 4:33am.
Hello thlayly5! Good to see you
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See James Haven in an Oscar winning performance!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2w9cKFiCrSU
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James Haven wanted to drop in and say hello to his beloved Dlisters. It's after 4 am in France and James Haven hasn't gotten his beauty sleep in days! Its not so much the babies that are keeping James Haven awake, its that pesky kid, Mad! He sets James Haven's alarm clock to go off every hour on the hour!
Things have gotten worse between James Haven and Brad! James Haven has refused to go back to buildin' houses (James Haven does not look good with callus'!) Brad walks around giving James Haven the stinkeye!
To make matters worse, James Haven and Granny Pitt do NOT get along! "James Haven, you shrunk my undergarments!", "James Haven, you burnt my toast!" James Haven put his stick in her face and told her "Burn this!" Get your mind out of the gutter bitches, it was a broomstick! Then Brad jumped into the fracas and poured Orange Juice on James Haven's head! Then they both ganged up on James Haven!
It's a good thing James Haven knows Tae Kwon Do. After a few chops to the back of the neck, Granny Pitt went face down like Starr Jones in the egg salad at an all you can eat Buffet!
**edited for grammatical errors!
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See James Haven in an Oscar winning performance!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2w9cKFiCrSU
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Mrs. K-
Pretty much. Plus women are extra cursed because any changes in the hormones of the body affects the voice- I lose 2 notes every time I have my monthly fun times.
And, as you age, the cartilages that make up your larynx get nice a stiff, so you don't sing as well, at least not without loads of intelligent practice.
Lastly, drugs of any kind, and alcohol, are death to your voice. So her drug addiction sure as shit fucked it up, too.
"To alcohol! The cause of and solution to all of life's problems!"-
thlayly5, I have never heard 8 octaves....I have heard 5...that is her range, which is pretty impressive....
that being siad, she looks like a fucking IDIOT. NO ONE dresses like that anymore Mariah- especially not 38 year olds!
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"Yeah. I want at least five kids. I want twins. Blake is gonna be the most amazing Dad. When Blake was about we talked about it all the time."
-Amy Winehouse
i have the b-all..end-all reason why we can't stand mariah....she is almost 40 yrs old(born March 27, 1970)and insists on dressing like a teenager as if thats all we will see as sexy. she forces sexy down our throat!! she looks as ridiculous as moms on Maury who need a makeover for the same age inappropriate reason. Did i just admit to watchin maury??? damnit u get my point
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love me some Mayer....so what!!!its complicated
James Haven- oh my gosh, I never am on when you are.
I needed a real life Brange update after being mired in craptastic fanfic....
10 minutes totally wasted.
"To alcohol! The cause of and solution to all of life's problems!"-
Submitted by thlayly5 on July 22, 2008 - 7:29pm.
Interesting
When I heard her sing last I was like what happened to her voice? Now, thanks to you, I know.
BTW, that fan fiction stuff is SKEEERY.
-☮'---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮-
So don’t forget what I told you
Don’t come around I got my own hell to raise
She's totally lost her voice, if you ask me. She claims that she sings differently now to suit what is popular, but she used to be able to belt, legit sing, and had a pretty good range----
(but not 8 octaves as is claimed- 8 octaves equals a piano and that is physically impossible, esp. for a woman women have smaller larynxs.... blah blah blah- I'm an pera singer, so know loads about range and that boring shit)----
but she blew her voice out and now she can only speak sing, if you ask me. And she looked prettier back then, when she wore looser clothing.
"To alcohol! The cause of and solution to all of life's problems!"-
"Submitted by boomsy on July 22, 2008 - 8:24pm.
I think it's sad from being exposed so often..."
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Her tummy has sad clown face.
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Pearls of Wisdom from JJ - "If ass-holes could fly, you guys would be an airport"
Submitted by lizardo911 on July 22, 2008 - 9:19pm
I think it's sad from being exposed so often...
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Simplicity provides a fine line between eloquence and plainness. -LL Cool J
Submitted by FireCat on July 22, 2008 - 9:16pm
I'm flattered...finally making a name for myself :P, and on Dlisted of all places LOL
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Simplicity provides a fine line between eloquence and plainness. -LL Cool J
Something about her stomach bothers me...her belly button,maybe?
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I'm a good little girl! A good little,good little, good little girl!
I could hate, but she looks good.........
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"Home remedy #108: IF YOU HAVE A BAD COUGH, TAKE A LARGE DOSE OF LAXATIVES. THEN YOU'LL
BE AFRAID TO COUGH.