Afternoon Crumbs

When we were kids we got to play with lawn darts and chemical sets, and seatbelts were completely optional (especially if you were stretched out in the back window of the car).

Smokes and lighters were for wusses.

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My lyrics are sometimes sexist
But bitches oughta know
I’m trying to correct this.

Submitted by Kizzy on July 22, 2008 - 3:01pm.
Submitted by Mrs.Kravitz on July 22, 2008 - 2:54pm.
Submitted by Kizzy on July 22, 2008 - 11:51am
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Seriously!! This is Britney we're talking about here. Teeny baby steps. She got them out of his hands the minute he picked them up.

yeah St Angelina and the Brad would put the cigerette in the kid's mouth and light it for him!

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*I used to Love Celebrities, now I just love to Hate them!*

I can afford to get my kids shadow monkeys, after I get my smokes and drink on. Damn brats are spoiled. They have dirt to play in that doesn't have too much hepatitis in it, WTF are they bitching about? When I was their age I was lucky if I had rats to play with instead of my pet cockroach, Fred. Kids don't know how it was.

Jeebus! Do we ever see Johnny depp and his family photographed on their private estate by paps! NO! Geee, why's that? because he does NOT give permission!!!!! And look at look at Madonna even, They only get her picture of her and her family when they are out in PUBLIC!!! And why does Maddox, a 7 yr old, have his hair bleached???? At least Britney is willing to take responsibility that she's not a fit mother and did what was best for those boys!

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*I used to Love Celebrities, now I just love to Hate them!*

Submitted by Kizzy on July 22, 2008 - 3:36pm.
Submitted by peaches on July 22, 2008 - 3:32pm.

Thank you!! I was wondering if anyone was going to bring that up. "We want the public to see we can afford to give our kids toys like this that all the other kids want. We're the coolest parents, ever, look how we let our boy do his hair." I hope Zee whipped their asses once they got back inside.

yeah, totally! thanks for the well wishes, I had a nice b-day thanks.

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*I used to Love Celebrities, now I just love to Hate them!*

on the james blunt thing: I read a Woody Allen biography that said he will admit that the only reason he wanted to be a successful comedian was to get chicks. And he also admitted that after he became famous, it worked.
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Fuck 'Em If They Can't Take A Joke

a message from the Church of the SubGenius

Sometimes pretty girls feel sorry for the ugly, nerdy boys. James has that down. He's ugly and I can't stand his songs.

Submitted by peaches on July 22, 2008 - 3:34pm.
Submitted by Kizzy on July 22, 2008 - 3:27pm
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I did, thanks for asking doll♥♥♥♥
I hope you had a very very Happy Birthday, with lots and lots of prezzies.

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♥♥ If you don't talk to your Cat about Catnip, who will? ♥♥

I fucking love Maddox.....heehee...I think he is an adorable badass...

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"Yeah. I want at least five kids. I want twins. Blake is gonna be the most amazing Dad. When Blake was about we talked about it all the time."
-Amy Winehouse

Submitted by peaches on July 22, 2008 - 3:32pm.

Thank you!! I was wondering if anyone was going to bring that up. "We want the public to see we can afford to give our kids toys like this that all the other kids want. We're the coolest parents, ever, look how we let our boy do his hair." I hope Zee whipped their asses once they got back inside.

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♥♥ If you don't talk to your Cat about Catnip, who will? ♥♥

mishma you funny bitch.. youre making me laugh!!
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Fuck 'Em If They Can't Take A Joke

a message from the Church of the SubGenius

Submitted by Kizzy on July 22, 2008 - 3:27pm.

hey Kizz, you enjoy your weekend?
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*I used to Love Celebrities, now I just love to Hate them!*

Damn right. Brats can't even reach the counter at Check Into Cash, mommy has to do it and what thanks do I get? Shitty martinis and a clogged bong. I am taking away their Nintendo NES and making them drink purple drank.

Submitted by mishma on July 22, 2008 - 3:23pm.

Like they say, the hand that holds the wallet, is the hand that pays the tab!! And calls for pizza.

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♥♥ If you don't talk to your Cat about Catnip, who will? ♥♥

I seriously fantasize about how to slap Maddox in his brat face. Mainly I just wanna pour bleach on his tongue. Decisions, decisions

Submitted by kizzy on July 22, 2008 - 3:14pm

What the hell kind of role model are you? Don't even show the kids how to mix a martini or break up buds. Geeeeeze. That's lax parenting, right there.

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I know, I fully fail at parenting. I mean, I showed them the Jurassic Park Taco Bell Big Gulp cup to mix the martini in and to just coat my Flintstone jelly glass with vermouth but they just can't get the hang of it. Just wait till their I think it's him father gets home from getting me a pack of cigarettes. He will make sure they know who's boss around here. The one who gets their welfare check cashed first, that's who

Submitted by mishma on July 22, 2008 - 7:36pm.
I wanna slap Maddox in his brat face, is that bad?

Tough call. At this age it's really his so - called mother's fault that he is a brat, and of course she dyes his fucking hair. At 6. Lordy, they don't know the patterns they are weaving. That said he is a brat. Here's the deal- give St Ange and Mr No Balls a slap and I will look the other way whilst you kick him.OK?

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Leave the thinking to horses, they've got bigger heads.

Submitted by mishma on July 22, 2008 - 3:14pm

What the hell kind of role model are you? Don't even show the kids how to mix a martini or break up buds. Geeeeeze. That's lax parenting, right there.

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♥♥ If you don't talk to your Cat about Catnip, who will? ♥♥

My kids are too stupid to make martinis properly, I really need to pick up some more smarted kids in front of the Home Depot. They can load the bowl but they don't break up the nugs right either. Stupid kids, Ima gonna make them stand and watch me smoke an entire carton of Marlboro Reds. While watching Maury. And telling them I need to go on the show to make sure you stupid kids came out of my womb. After they get back from the liquor store. They better hurry up with my Popov or they are going back to wherever I picked them up from

EWW
THEY ARE ALL YUCKY!

www.MySpace.com/ItsJonaBitch

Submitted by mishma on July 22, 2008 - 2:58pm.

I'm jellis. Can your kid mix martinis, or just Bloody Marys? If you say martinis, I'll be double jelly, and ask your kid to bring me my bong.

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♥♥ If you don't talk to your Cat about Catnip, who will? ♥♥

I wanna go to Popsugar and become a Brangeloonie. I ran out of psych meds do this werks for me. Thy will be done, M8S

Submitted by parissucksliterally on July 22, 2008 - 3:02pm.

Yeah, fucking shocks the shit out of me, too. Never ever thought I'd do it, but yeah, on this one, I have to say, while it wasn't a brilliant move on her part, there's no need to break out the torches and pitchforks. Just hang on to them, I have faith in our Brit to give us legitimate reasons to bust them out soon enough!! ROFL Had she left the kids alone, and SPF had a chance to do something with them, then yeah, I'd be leading the charge. She didn't. She took them away from him as soon as he picked them up. No harm, no foul.
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♥♥ If you don't talk to your Cat about Catnip, who will? ♥♥

Submitted by Clarisse on July 22, 2008 - 2:56pm.
Kizzy,

Yeah!! We wore our seatbelts because my parents bribed us with french fries from McDonald's if we did. Yes, that's smoking in front of us, letting me have swigs of beer, and bribes!! Somebody call CPS. Oh, wait...it's too late, ROFL

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♥♥ If you don't talk to your Cat about Catnip, who will? ♥♥

mishma,
First of all, if your kitty didn't prance around in alluring panties, people wouldn't stalk.

Secondly, stay out of Pop Sugar. It causes brain cavities.

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If you've never seen an elephant ski, you've never been on acid. - Izzard

kizzy darling, am I reading correctly? you are defending Britney? lmao

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If I swallow anything evil, put your finger down my throat
If I shiver, please give me a blanket; keep me warm, let me wear your coat

Submitted by Mrs.Kravitz on July 22, 2008 - 2:54pm.
Submitted by Kizzy on July 22, 2008 - 11:51am
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Seriously!! This is Britney we're talking about here. Teeny baby steps. She got them out of his hands the minute he picked them up. This is the woman who goes out in public with stains on her clothes. Forethought and Britney just don't seem like a match. Yeah, it would have been better if she had put them elsewhere entirely, but damn, at least she did take them away from him. Maybe it's just me, I'm a smoker, I have friends that smoke, I've seen my friends move their cigs out of the way of their kids, I've seen them have to grab their cigs and lighter away from their kids. There are many more things we can get our knickers in a twist over Britney and her kids about. This is pretty tame.

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♥♥ If you don't talk to your Cat about Catnip, who will? ♥♥

Submitted by mishma on July 22, 2008 - 11:58am.

Pop Sugar is Beelzebub's blog.
True story.

Those people make me sick!

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So don’t forget what I told you
Don’t come around I got my own hell to raise

I WILL CHASTISE EVERYONE ON HERE FOR STALKING MY CAT ON MYSPACE. STOP STALKING HIM and I just read Popsugar and I think I need therapy right now. That or someone needs to chop off my sausage fingers right the fuck off cuz I wanna write ANGELINA IS A SOUL SUCKING SKANK WHO RAISED THAT FUCKING BRAT, MADDOX, WHO I WANT TO SLAP IN HIS BLEACHED BLONDE MOWHAKED FACED MOUTH, SUCK IT BITCHES, STOP STAKING MY CATS ON MYSPACE. I am really hungover and my kid is mixing me a Bloody Mary as I write this, jellis?

Kizzy,
We ALWAYS had to go get my mom's smokes cuz she was too lazy to get them herself!

We NEVER were in car-seats/seat-belts either!

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If you've never seen an elephant ski, you've never been on acid. - Izzard

Submitted by Kizzy on July 22, 2008 - 11:51am.
Submitted by christine the hoff on July 22, 2008 - 2:45pm.

Again I say, hey, good thing she had presence of mind enough to take them away from him the minute he picked them up. Not that she should be getting any mother of the year awards for it, but it does at least show she gives a shit.
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I think it is too much to ask that it would have occurred to Brit to keep the cigs and lighter out of sight and out of reach in the first place.

-☮'---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮-
So don’t forget what I told you
Don’t come around I got my own hell to raise

Submitted by Clarisse on July 22, 2008 - 2:48pm.

FOR REALS. My parents would make me go get their cigarettes and bring them to them. Not to mention I had to "test" every beer I brought my Dad, ROFL

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♥♥ If you don't talk to your Cat about Catnip, who will? ♥♥

Submitted by FritoDorito on July 22, 2008 - I just gotta make sure I don't step on anybody's toes.
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Please, I got ten of 'em...and I think one of them is already broken.
I blame my Crocs.
Crocs and pickle ball do not go together!!!!

-☮'---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮-
So don’t forget what I told you
Don’t come around I got my own hell to raise

Hear that sound? It's the sound of 10 million Brangeloonie corks popping at the sight of their adored ones, outside.

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"What? Salma was supposed to stuff her melonitas into a million-dollar wedding dress and marry that rich bitch without a prenup." - MK 07/18/08

Submitted by christine the hoff on July 22, 2008 - 2:45pm.

Again I say, hey, good thing she had presence of mind enough to take them away from him the minute he picked them up. Not that she should be getting any mother of the year awards for it, but it does at least show she gives a shit.

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♥♥ If you don't talk to your Cat about Catnip, who will? ♥♥

Mrs Kravitz:
I like your snarkiness...lol... I like everybody's snarkiness that's why I come here. I just gotta make sure I don't step on anybody's toes. I like everyone too much for that!
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Geez, Banana shut your friggin' gob, okay?

who and why is "ceiling eyes" did i miss something??

-=meow hiss purr=-

Submitted by M.E. on July 22, 2008 - 2:42pm.
Submitted by Kizzy on July 22, 2008 - 10:28am
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I agree, like I said, leaving them within reach was a stupid thing to do. Hey, at least she took them away from him, that shows some progress.

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♥♥ If you don't talk to your Cat about Catnip, who will? ♥♥

M.E.,
Submitted by M.E. on July 22, 2008 - 2:42pm.

Oh boy, not that i think Brit is mother material, the whole time i read your post i was thinking to myself, "Wow, M.E. would have beat down my mom!"

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If you've never seen an elephant ski, you've never been on acid. - Izzard

also, lighters have been known to blow up and imagine if he ate part of a cigg.. gross.

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"I don't like your grandma Cartmen, she smells like vitamins and pee."

Submitted by mishma on July 22, 2008 - 2:36pm.
I wanna slap Maddox in his brat face, is that bad?

It's damn funny, is what it is...

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You're saying he's proportionate for a man of 2'8"?

Submitted by Kizzy on July 22, 2008 - 10:28am.
Submitted by M.E. on July 22, 2008 - 2:23pm.

She didn't let him, she took them away from him as soon as he grabbed them. She only went over to where he was to take the stuff away from him. Yes, leaving them within reach was a stupid thing to do, but she didn't let him have them, he didn't open the cigarettes and take one out, he just picked up the pack.
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Well IMO, leaving your pack of cancer sticks and the LIGHTER on a table low enough for a toddler to pick them up, is 100% irresponsible and she is not in any way shape or form a better parent than she was when she drove with him on her lap. She is a fucking idiot..

@ Libra-
Yeah no joke! I didn't realize that they are all LOONIES!! No one posts like dlisters post either!

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You're saying he's proportionate for a man of 2'8"?

Submitted by FritoDorito on July 22, 2008 - 11:33am.

Aw sweetie, I was not chiding or chastising you in any way. I was being ironic. Why is it that no one gets that I am a snarky bitch? Am I not doing it right? The only time I am not snarky is when I am loving on my girls and boys here at dlisted. My love for all my BFF (Best Fake Friends) is very real. Otherwise I am a bitch on wheels.
Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

-☮'---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮-
So don’t forget what I told you
Don’t come around I got my own hell to raise

Submitted by Little China Doll on July 22, 2008 - 2:30pm.
I just clicked on the link for Angelina and read the paragraph that goes with the photo. Who in the eff writes that shit?

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I've never been to JJ or Perez for this very reason and i'm SHOCKED to see the loons are taking over nearly all the celebrity blogs... That's why i hang out here! Its so much normal here! Thank God for Dlisted !!

Little China Doll on July 22, 2008 - 2:31pm

Oh it's her/him/it.
Aphid confirmed it a while back when she/he/it was kicking dirt on everyone at Popsugar.

Back to Topics:

When your last name is Blunt, certain things are implied, *toke toke......*

/\
Madolyn: What do you expect coming in here?
Billy Costigan: I have to come here.
Madolyn: I know you have to come here, but now that you're here, what do you want?
Billy Costigan: You want the truth? Valium.

I wanna slap Maddox in his brat face, is that bad?

Miley Cyruss is an up & coming Blohan in training.

Submitted by Mrs.Kravitz on July 22, 2008 - 12:19pm.
Submitted by FritoDorito on July 22, 2008 - 11:17am.
Submitted by Mrs.Kravitz on July 22, 2008 - 12:12pm.
It hasn't killed me yet, but who knows, I'm only 23! lol
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Jeez, Frito, do I have to spell it out for you? Smoking in front of your kids in NOT politically correct.
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I know it's not politically correct and it's not smart. I think what I was trying to convey is that not everyone who smokes in front of their kids deserves to have theirs taken away as that website was trying to convey that they should. It's a dumbshit idea, but people do it.

I didn't mean to offend you, you're too awesome for me to want to get into it with, so I apologize.
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Geez, Banana shut your friggin' gob, okay?

Ceiling Eyes has that thing where you can see the whites of her eyes BELOW the iris. It supposedly marks a person who is clairvoyant. The only thing it means in her case is that she is an ugly skank ho.

And Miley Cyrus? I want her to DIE.