The Twin Messiahs Are Out
Put down that fucking chocolate croissant and pay attention. Saint Angelina and the twin messiahs have been released from their hospital chambers in France to embark on their world tour. The pope has cancelled all of his travel plans and has given Saint Angelina and the chosen ones use of his pope mobile. Seriously, Angie Jo left the hospital this morning after giving birth a week ago. She needed the week to get lipo, a tummy tuck and a titty lift recover.
Angie Jo, Hard Knox and Vivi managed to beat the paparazzi rush and slipped out around 4 a.m. They joined the rest of the Brangelina holy family at Chateau Miraval. Paps were stationed on roof tops near the hospital, thinking that Angie would fly away in a helicopter.
One witness told People, "This group of people got into the van, very quickly. . . . It was all done in a hurry. And they were very quick organizing themselves inside. Very rapid. And then 'Pouf!' they were gone" DUH! That's how saints do it. They disappeared in a cloud of holy smoke and all that was left was a feather from Hard Knox's angel wings.
You know, I was really hoping some slick pap would get a clear picture of the chosen ones. That would have totally effed up their multi-million dollar picture deal. Quick! Somebody text Maddox and offer him a Hoveround in exchange for poloraids of the golden twins. That shit would make a kick ass default picture for my Facebook profile.
Image: Gallery of the Absurd - Source
If Jolie and Pitt were not who they are, their parenting strategies would simply be called child exploitation and neglect. With her horrid psychiatric and substance abuse history, Ms. Jolie would have significant difficulty adopting in the USA, a country she apparently feels is only good enough to buy tickets to her "films. Children do not benefit from silly platitudes and photo-ops. Has anyone noticed the impoverished content of the silly sophomoric sound bites she chirps? Angelina Jolie and the testiclularly challenged Brad Pitt have objectified their children. These "do-gooders" are narcissistic, self-involved, insensitive, shallow, opportunistic robots. Angelina Jolie is one of the most borderline and manipulative adrenaline junkies I have ever seen. She can't seem to be satisfied with any stable zip code or demographic. And Brad is a silly chameleon. He has become a peripheral, ancillary national buffoon.
The chaotic, rootless, inconsistent, and unstructured circus-like life these children are leading is deeply disturbing. If these precious children are not out being used to support an image or photo shopped, they are being cloistered in some large, temporary, vacuous domicile. No stable playmates, predictability, surroundings, or even time zone. Unfortunately, it is doubtful that Ms. Jolie's compulsive child collecting and need for media attention and aggrandizement will be appeased any time soon. Brad Pitt apparently is suffering from some type of pre senile dementia, milk toast syndrome, or complex combination of both. Mrs. Doubtfire looks more effective than Mr. Pitt does these days. Optimally, Jolie's next compulsive life phase will involve rescuing some type of endangered species so that there will be minimal damage to the human beings she steps over with such dismissal and entitlement.
FYI: For those of you that are familiar with the obnoxious Jenfraud, she goes under the alias of "BESANE" over at Just Jared. I know they are one in the same.Just a heads up for those of you who occasionaly go over to JJ to antagonize!lol
Submitted by shandiRW on July 20, 2008 - 10:02pm.
are the new-borned-twin-messiahs-that-are-the-only-ones-that-can-lead-us-into-the-light fraternal or identical (sorry, i know NOTHING about twins)?
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The Holy Twins are fraternal.
~♥~'Strong women inspire me - who dont do things just to win the approval of others. My mother was a strong role model. She's an amazing woman to endure what she did in my childhood.'~Xtina~♥
Correction : The movie was called TRUE WOMEN. I don't know where I got the "three" from. She still sucked.
Last night I was flipping through the channels and turned on a movie that I had never seen before, it was called Three Woman. I had NO idea that Jolie was in this movie. She made it back in 1997. LET ME TELL YOU, this chic has had some serious facial surgery! Her face was so full, no definition in her cheeks whatsoever and her nose looked a bit bulbous. No doubt in my mind she has definitely gone under the knife (no pun intended). Oh, and she butchered the texas drawl. But I'm sure that doesn't surprise anyone. Had to turn it off - she CAN'T act!
I never got why Brad Pitt was considered so good looking. He's generic.
That crying baby with the lips made me tear up with laughter. Damn. that is some FUNNY babies.
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Pretty looks fade...dumb is forever -- Judge Judy
are the new-borned-twin-messiahs-that-are-the-only-ones-that-can-lead-us-into-the-light fraternal or identical (sorry, i know NOTHING about twins)?
Submitted by FritoDorito on July 19, 2008 - 5:31pm.
I never saw the hot in Brad Shitt. Yes, I like good lookin' ones as much as the next girl (Johnny Depp anyone? At least he is interesting and talented) but Brad just seems like the type of guy that you wouldn't be able to joke around with because even Laffy Taffy Jokes would make him stare at you blankly.
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AMEN to that !!!!
Screw 'em deb, unless Brad has hot sex with me, I aint giving them squat!
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*I used to Love Celebrities, now I just love to Hate them!*
Submitted by DebFrmHell on July 20, 2008 - 10:48am.
I was holding up a lighter while I was singing for dramatic effect, but then I realized I was only amusing myself. ;P
Submitted by Imnotme,
Thanks for making me spit my Post Toasties all over the keyboard.
Funny little critter.
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And I find it kinda funny.
I find it kinda sad.
The dreams in which I'm dying
Are the best I've ever had.
Peaches,
You are a natural born conspiracist...lol.
Not everything is a plot. Simply need to find out where money is spent. These people have a team of accountants, lawyers and whatevers to make sure they remain above board. I am sure that they are well paid to do so.
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And I find it kinda funny.
I find it kinda sad.
The dreams in which I'm dying
Are the best I've ever had.
BRAD AND ANGIE HAVE CHANGED OUR WORLD AS WE KNOW IT. THEIR BEAUTIFUL CHILDREN ARE A BEACON TO LEAD US INTO THE FUTURE, WHERE WE ALL LIVE IN HARMONY. AND WHEN ALL NATIONS UNIFY, WHEN WE ALL COLLECTIVELY HOLD HANDS, AS BROTHERS AND SISTERS, WE WILL ALL HAVE BRAD AND ANGIE TO THANK.
**singing "We Are the World**
sorry, I'm bored.
So Deb, does anyone investigate these private foundations? The IRS at least?
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*I used to Love Celebrities, now I just love to Hate them!*
Holy Shit deb, I just looked, that one's not listed either! Those fake Ass fuckers! Wonder if they're living in France now to avoid investigation?
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*I used to Love Celebrities, now I just love to Hate them!*
@Peaches,
This is what I have learned about the evalualtion process for Charity Navigator.
"We don't evaluate private foundations. More
Private foundations, like the Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation, receive the majority of their money from only one individual, family or corporation. This differs from the public charities that Charity Navigator evaluates. Public charities have a broad-base of support from the general public as well as variety of other funding sources."
The monies that are supposed to be spent on charities may very well be spent where they want the money to go to but I think it would serve the interest of their Foundation if they gave a full accounting for where it has gone.
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And I find it kinda funny.
I find it kinda sad.
The dreams in which I'm dying
Are the best I've ever had.
Hey deb, I didn't find Brad's make it right katrina charity at better buisness bureau either, let me know if that one isn't listed at the site you looked at either. What does it mean exactly when they are not listed? I do think we should write the IRS and bring it to their attention! They don't care that they're famous!
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*I used to Love Celebrities, now I just love to Hate them!*
I went to www.charitynavigator.com and surprise! There is no Jolie-Pitt Foundation listed. Nor is there a listing under any combination of names either solo or paired. Would love to see the IRS statement for this so called charity...
Shiloh's pictures sold for approx $10million in US and Foreign rights. Money went to charity. The twins rights will probably end up double with money going to charity.
SHOW ME THE ACCOUNTING!
(edited to so the .com for link)
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And I find it kinda funny.
I find it kinda sad.
The dreams in which I'm dying
Are the best I've ever had.
Peaches, I will give to caringbridge.org. I get updates on my grandson there, its a wedsite for families with sick family members to stay in touch.
oh and jennzz yes brad is lookin old! having all these kids is aging him.. FAST. it's funny how all of a sudden he woke up next to angelina jolie and a clad of children lol noooo thanks!
"yeah. like i'm gonna have anal sex and sit on a plane for 6 HOURS!" - joel mchale<3
thanks peaches and i'm glad i'm not the only one who doesn't like brangelina here haha yeah i will not (like someone else said here) spend 1 cent on the silly baby pics. if i wanted to see that badly, i'll look in line at target or the grocery store and that's it. i'll save my 4 bucks and buy a gallon of gas. shit!
oh and we all can see the pics for free when they come out on here probably. we can donate to the dlisted foundation! :D
"yeah. like i'm gonna have anal sex and sit on a plane for 6 HOURS!" - joel mchale<3
How I love the Gallery of the Absurd. "Brangeloonie" slays me!
OH this is a great fake-pic,,,,
It's amazing what home-wrecking and baby-making can do to a crappyass career for Jolie
and as for Pitt,, it's amazing what being a man-whore/cheating pussyass who is Jolie's nursemaid/slave/manny can do to your sagging man-boobs,,MOOBS and hair implants,, shitzz Pitt's been middle-aging for a while now,,,
he will never be that hot piece of manmeat from Thelma and Louise again,,
oh geezz
I will not spend 1 cent on their twin pics,,
I'll pick my own charity to donate to,,
Submitted by peaches on July 20, 2008 - 8:12am.
Right on k2!yes avoiding the paps can certainly be done! It can't be completely avoided, but it can be controlled!
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Peaches, I said the same thing about not buying into this overrated bullshit! My feeling is, instead of buying the damn People magazine, if you're that curious to see the photos then just gaze at them while standing in the line at the grocery store, then put it back! It's fairly simple NOT to buy it. Maybe if the public stops buying these magazines then these idiot celebrities wouldn't make the sick money off their childs face! Although if that shit happens, then you know the magazines will be pulled and stashed behind the counter (kind of like Adult perveted magazines) ... you want it, you have to pay up! But honestly, I think the majority is entirely fed up with the craziness surrounding these two morally challenged idiots. The only people that support them are the mental midgets over at JJ !
I assume you obviously mean not to their charity joann, lol! Yeah you probably were joking altogether!
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*I used to Love Celebrities, now I just love to Hate them!*
The jolie/Pitt foundation wasn't listed on better buisness bureau's charity list, so It makes me wonder! I think should be penalties instated for charities that give more of the money to administrative and to fancy fundraiser galas! One thing I do give the IRS credit for, they don't give a fuck about celebrity! Probably because they are federal gov't and not California gov't!
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*I used to Love Celebrities, now I just love to Hate them!*
I'll wait to see them online, give the money i'll save to charity.
Right on k2!yes avoiding the paps can certainly be done! It can't be completely avoided, but it can be controlled! Shit, even grand diva jlo puts in the effort to avoid the paps! And kt, glad you boycotted the tabs this week! Intouch was pretty awful:"the twins are here!" my god, they are not that fuckin' important! So any of you gonna boycott buying the big multimillion$ photo spread issue of the star twins? I am! And every time I see and hear the media screaming "the twins! The twins!" I can't help but think of like that Budweiser commercial with those every dude's fantasy twins, ha!
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*I used to Love Celebrities, now I just love to Hate them!*
I hope her and all her illigitimate kids and pitt stain stay holed up in France for the duration..but I know we won't be that lucky..she has to get her paycheck for the two new blobs, and pretend to donate it. Im sure whatever she donates, will be to the Jolie/Pitt foundation.
K2 - AMEN!!! will you marry me? please? geez i couldn't have said it any better. i'm sick of those two, and as much as i enjoy the weekly magazines.. i didn't buy ANY this week because guess who's on just about all the covers? brad and angelina! god. enough!!
"yeah. like i'm gonna have anal sex and sit on a plane for 6 HOURS!" - joel mchale<3
Good reasons to live in France:
Free healthcare (includes housecalls), paid sick leave, free homecare for new parents and invalids, free daycare, free college, and you can drink alcohol in the street.
♥ ThreadKilla! / Lean Like a Chola / She's a Lady.
Miss American Dream.
They've given Shiloh a baby mullet. So sad Angelina is so afraid of anyone in her family looking pretty too.
angel! nice birth picture!
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“Maybe I was mean, but I really don't think so; you asked for the truth and I told you..."
-Sinead O'Connor "The Emperor's New Clothes"
They avoided the papz? That just goes to prove that it can be done, if you try hard enough! Do us all a favor and try a little harder from now on. It's bad enough we're gonna be on "twins" overload for the next year.... I really need a break from seeing these assholes on every mag! Do we really need to be informed every time they make a move, take a shit, adopt a kid, get invitro, buy a house, give to charities, and make purchases at sex shops? SERIOUSLY, ENOUGH!!
Submitted by angel_i on July 19, 2008 - 8:20pm.
Well, I figured you got each of their jerseys over their heads at some point.
Submitted by Sheeps on July 19, 2008 - 11:17pm.
Submitted by angel_i on July 19, 2008 - 8:16pm.
I dated a hockey team once:)
And a fight broke out?
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However did you know?
♥ ThreadKilla! / Lean Like a Chola / She's a Lady.
Miss American Dream.
O. MY. GOD! I was searching for something completely unrelated (of course!) when I found this picture of Angelina GIVING BIRTH! NSFW folks!
http://www.viceland.com/int/v14n10/htdocs/bloody_hairy_hot/main_large.jp...
♥ ThreadKilla! / Lean Like a Chola / She's a Lady.
Miss American Dream.
Submitted by angel_i on July 19, 2008 - 8:16pm.
I dated a hockey team once:)
And a fight broke out?
I dated a hockey team once:)
♥ ThreadKilla! / Lean Like a Chola / She's a Lady.
Miss American Dream.
Omfg psl and Joe shmoe! You're talking about hockey players!? They are fuckin sex on ice! I love them! I must say, I've seen a lot of gorgeous Canadian hockey players who look like the Brad! If he could play and were more of a fuckin man, he'd really be the ultimate wet dream! The only way I'll ever spend money on one of his films ever again as of this point is if he where to play a hockey player! Man,the Brad and hockey? Ultimate masterbatory fodder!
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*I used to Love Celebrities, now I just love to Hate them!*
So they actually went out of their way to avoid the paps for once? Well I'll be damned! So my beloved dlisters, would it be too much to hope maybe they finally Learned their fuckin lesson from those protesters, and that we'er all sick of their goddamn overexposure, and they'll finally start to fuck off more??
Yeah, I doubt it either!!
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*I used to Love Celebrities, now I just love to Hate them!*
Submitted by cornwall wallcorn on July 19, 2008 - 11:34am.
Oh how I love you clever D-listers. If you really did make up some of those loonie Brangelina comments and post to JJ, I need to become pals with you because you are my kind of people. Tricksters UNITE!
xoxo
14
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Okay, I am kinda slow today. I didn't realize this was THE 14. 14!!! Come back, I love you! You're my hero, the wind beneath my wings!
Yes, I am a 14aloonie, so??
________________________
Dlisted's a hellava drug.
"Paris is fucking lame. She's more offensive to me than anything. She's a total, raging, disgusting, rich, lazy party slut. I pray that my daughter will not turn out like her." - Dave Grohl
Fort Knox never saw battle, but then you have Battle of Shiloh--all Civil War era
I, like many others, just friended Michael K on Facebook because of this post. He confirmed it in like 5 seconds. Hilarious.
Submitted by Sugarbella on July 19, 2008 - 8:27pm.
Jolie is basically a welfare mother now. Getting checks for every baby she pops out.
Good for her because her movie career sucks. She's just a tabloid queen now.
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AMEN SISTER
That picture is fucking AWESOME. The artist gets 3 snaps!
(¯`'•.¸(¯`'•.¸♥¸.•'´¯)¸.•'´¯)
Am I getting old or is the supermarket playing great music?
Jolie is basically a welfare mother now. Getting checks for every baby she pops out.
Good for her because her movie career sucks. She's just a tabloid queen now.
Submitted by Justina on July 19, 2008 - 4:58pm.
Cool... thanks. I liked the "old" Madonna.
for Sheeps:
http://www.madonnashots.com/rs89031.jpg