Salma Hayek And Her Sugar Beard Are Not Getting Married
Salma Hayek and her magnificent chichis will not be marrying French billionaire Francois-Henri Pinault. The couple of 2 years issued this statement to USA Today:
"We are sad to announce the engagement of Salma Hayek and Francois-Henri Pinault has been canceled. There will be no further comment."
WHAT?! This was not the plan. Salma was supposed to stuff her melonitas into a million-dollar wedding dress and marry that rich bitch without a prenup. Prenups are for amateurs! Then she was supposed trick him into having an affair, take pictures, leak them to the press and play the "humiliated wife" role. Voila! Instant millions!
That way she can buy the Isle of Lesbos and tell the natives to stick a cooche in it. Salma, Penny Cruz and Baby Valentina would live happily ever after in their gayelle paradise.
Yes, I know she's going to get millions for having his baby, but you can never have too much money. You can never be too rich and your chichis can never be too big.
ShareThis
Good morning everyone. Welcome FatMartha!
I guess Salma's sperm donor got tired of maintaining the facade. She got what she wanted, a baby.
************************************
"Shes like a catroach with nine lives and a disgusting shell"-LoLo on 6/24/08
♥♥ If you don't talk to your Cat about Catnip, who will? ♥♥
_Submitted by kdracofan on July 18, 2008 - 10:32am
HA ha ha I have people here totally believing i have touretts!
_____________________________________________
We is tailing jokes in hair twoday!
LoLo on July 18, 2008 - 10:30am.
uh
*note to self:Remember to write down MK's plan on tricking fat french man into being a lesbian*
*note to self: learn how to read better you bitch Lolo.That is NOT even what MK wrote. You stupid sexy bitch*
**********************************************
lmao.....i am laughing in my office and my boss just walked by....
----------------------------------------------
"D-Listed is like chicks who hang out together for a long time- they start getting their periods the same day.
All d-listed sluts start to think exactly alike after a while. LOLOLOLOL" Mel-tang!
uh
*note to self:Remember to write down MK's plan on tricking fat french man into being a lesbian*
*note to self: learn how to read better you bitch Lolo.That is NOT even what MK wrote. You stupid sexy bitch*
_____________________________________________
We is tailing jokes in hair twoday!
I am not sure it was she who left him but the other way around. I thought they had been a rumor that he was "cavorting" with Linda Evangelista at some point.
____________________________________________
Rudeness is a weak man's imitation of strenght.
Save an animal in a shelter: Http://dogsindanger.com
Get lost: http://dharmasecrets.com
He's a modelerizer.
He had baby with Linda Evevangelista
Who's the next chick
FatMartha : welcome ;)
----------------------------------------------
"D-Listed is like chicks who hang out together for a long time- they start getting their periods the same day.
All d-listed sluts start to think exactly alike after a while. LOLOLOLOL" Mel-tang!
Some say weird taste in men, I say upwardly HO-bile.
The only way Salma could top herself now is if she had a menage e cuatro with Oprah, The Donald, and Bill Gates.
And with her hypnotic cooch, anything is possible.
www.myspace.com/triston
Huh? What the hell is going on here?
----------------------
"Fooled you, poopie." - Okie
Welcome, FatMartha:
About time you came to your goddamn senses and joined us sluts on the other side of the wall.
Perez Hilton is like that fat kid in school that no matter how much cake you give him to shut up...is gonna cry and whine anyway!
www.myspace.com/triston
She has weird taste in men. She was with Ed Norton for a long time. He's awesome, but they always seemed mis-matched. Then, she was with this random old French billionaire. I don't know, something seems *off*
@FatMartha:
Welcome. Nice to know you did some homework on us. We hate that "first" crap. Racist comments are not welcome either FYI.
OT: As if she needs his money. But at least she has an insurance policy for the next 18 years.
++++++++++++++++++++
I don't agree with animal testing; they get all nervous and give the wrong answers.
She just ruined everything.
Sure she'll get millions but she could of at least stuck it out for another year or two.
Just think about all of the gifts she could of gotten...
♫♫♫♫♫☮☮☮☮☮♫♫♫♫♫☮☮☮☮☮♫♫♫♫♫☮☮☮☮☮♫♫♫♫♫☮☮☮☮☮♫♫♫♫♫
When all else fails, Eat It, Lick It, Snort It, Fuck It!
*bow chika bow* she's effing hot....
lmao @ "melonitas"
----------------------------------------------
"D-Listed is like chicks who hang out together for a long time- they start getting their periods the same day.
All d-listed sluts start to think exactly alike after a while. LOLOLOLOL" Mel-tang!
WELL AT LEAST SHE HAS HIS KID .NOT TOO BAD
Submitted by TheBreakdown on July 18, 2008 - 9:07am.
"He funded her production company in return for Salma allowing him to fondle her chi-chi goodness."
*****************************************************
TheBreakdown, That is so choice!
You are en fuego!
DAMN THAT WAS SO NOT THE PLAN
Awww, I really hoped those two crazy kids would make it work.
*flicks booger at screen*
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Pre-suck my genital situation!
Is anybody shocked by this? Not really. This guy isn't looking to settle down. He'll be moving on to another hot actress who isn't a Mommy.
SurFuckinPrise.
... someone actually thought that they were to be married -- Francois-Henri Pinault -- nice to know he wised up.
____________________________________________
Rudeness is a weak man's imitation of strenght.
Save an animal in a shelter: Http://dogsindanger.com
Hello D-listers!
I've finally migrated over here from Perez. (Been watching everyone's posts for a while now... loved the JJ drama last night). So glad to be rid of the constant "FIRSTTTTTTTTTTTTT"s.
OnT: Er, I don't have anything to say.
Salma is a gold digger, she was born into money and admits that she was/is a spoiled brat. She cant act for shit so I am glad she has this production company. Maybe she can stay behind the scenes from now on and spare us all. They did make a really cute little girl though.
"I think you know that your more then just some fucked up piece of ass."
George Fuckin Michael.
surprise surprise
This WAS the plan all along.
He funded her production company in return for Salma allowing him to fondle her chi-chi goodness.
And alimony is a girl's best friend!
www.myspace.com/triston
This is the first thing I believe about this relationship. Always seemed fake to me.
***********************************************************
Wilson: "When you care about someone ..."
House: "You LIE to them!"
No way!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Just saw that Ronaldo has dumped Nereida Gallardo. Making plans to move forthwith to Europe, once I locate it on a mappy thing.
ok I can't tell... is she really gayelle??? OR is that sarcasm... I've been reading this blog for too long and can no longer discern between truth and funnies...