Salma Hayek And Her Sugar Beard Are Not Getting Married
Salma Hayek and her magnificent chichis will not be marrying French billionaire Francois-Henri Pinault. The couple of 2 years issued this statement to USA Today:
"We are sad to announce the engagement of Salma Hayek and Francois-Henri Pinault has been canceled. There will be no further comment."
WHAT?! This was not the plan. Salma was supposed to stuff her melonitas into a million-dollar wedding dress and marry that rich bitch without a prenup. Prenups are for amateurs! Then she was supposed trick him into having an affair, take pictures, leak them to the press and play the "humiliated wife" role. Voila! Instant millions!
That way she can buy the Isle of Lesbos and tell the natives to stick a cooche in it. Salma, Penny Cruz and Baby Valentina would live happily ever after in their gayelle paradise.
Yes, I know she's going to get millions for having his baby, but you can never have too much money. You can never be too rich and your chichis can never be too big.
bummer for her...there goes her plasicta surgery money
xoxox
The war isn't working.
Now she and Penelope can raise the baby with his money
It's funny how they announce this shit like anyone gives a flying shit. I mean, how pretentious is that "there will be no further comments" BS.
Well this story does NOT surprise me in the least. Now she will have to look at her funny looking kid that looks just like him and kiss all those extra millions away. Ha ha!
I knew there would never be a wedding when she said on OPRAH that you shouldn't say yes and that a man has to work for your hand in marriage.
I think she used his fug ass to get a rich kid!!
OKAY!
WHO IS THE PUBLISHER?
I WANT TO HAVE A WORD WITH HIM/HER NOW!
www.MySpace.com/ItsJonaBitch
they make an odd couple
love that dress Hayek wore to this event.
simply stunning.
Shes sooo uniquely beautiful...one of the most beautiful people in movies.
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Girl I love yo big brown eyes
And the way you shake your thighs
Actin like youre so damn cute
Let a real ni**a just knock them boots
I know she munches carpet...but I can't help myself.I wanna tag it like a waist high fastball!
IDK, I have a feeling in my special celeb feeling place, she turned him down.
Salma ain't stupid, she's a hwat pistol.
OLE To Salma!
/\
Madolyn: What do you expect coming in here?
Billy Costigan: I have to come here.
Madolyn: I know you have to come here, but now that you're here, what do you want?
Billy Costigan: You want the truth? Valium.
Submitted by LOVE CARROTTOP on July 18, 2008 - 10:10am.
Submitted by Your Mom Ate th... on July 18, 2008 - 11:00am.
Ahh, you rock. And a tape dispenser, too! I've been having an extra-bad week--been sick, got a ticket for failing to fix my bumper, I'm sick of my job, driving everywhere is stressing me out bigtime, and my bf's been acting like an unappreciative, insensitive douchebag. I'd look for an open field so I can stand and scream my lungs out, but where I live there are so many people that I'd probably draw a crowd.
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Well, if it makes you feel any better, I was sick too, dreamt I got a ticket, public transit pisses me off and me and my bf almost broke up! That probably doesn't help, but I feel your pain and give you many smooches. If you want to talk about it girl-like times, send me a PM.
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Aww, thanks LCT. Doesn't make me feel better to know your week was bad, but I'm glad I'm not alone in my woes. Many smooches right back at ya!
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Sorrow is knowledge, those that know the most must mourn the deepest, the tree of knowledge is not the tree of life. -- Lord Byron
Submitted by Clarisse on July 18, 2008 - 7:42am.
On topic...you cannot in fact, ever have TOO much $$$.
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or be too thin
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I have dandruff, and I buy most of my jeans from a grocery store.
French men are assholes. What was she expecting? DOY!
Well said Stock Broker!!!!!!!
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"D-Listed is like chicks who hang out together for a long time- they start getting their periods the same day.
All d-listed sluts start to think exactly alike after a while. LOLOLOLOL" Mel-tang!
Fat Martha ~ glad to have you join DListed Day Crew.
A few guidelines:
1. We snark celebs and hate them all equally.
2. MK is our host and we are his loyal minions.
3. Play nice with other DListers and don't feed the trolls & spammers.
On Topic: Salma is Gayelle, so why would she marry when she's waiting for Penelope Cruz.
I think Linda E "chose not to name" her baby daddy. Translation: She was paid some high dolla money. Those 90s supermodels have a pattern:
Linda & Pinault
Heidi & Flavio Big gut
Elle & Arpaud
Hurley tried to snag Bing
BTW, welcome FatMartha
Submitted by LoLo on July 18, 2008 - 11:09am.
Yezzzz ize gots yer candy lil gurl nowz gets in mah vanz and shutz it!
Yuze wantz to see mahz play stashun?
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But, my daddy told me not to get in the car with strangers, unless they call me Princess and give me a cookie.
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It is Sit On Your Face Friday, so make sure to wear a helmet and do not giggle.
Awwww Clarisse why'd you have to go and mention the eye boogers?? I had a conversation with my (Angie-loving) friend last night and she told me she had a friend who would sit there and pull on her eye boogers. She also told me this friend ate her own scabs.
She'll have a lot of explaining to do on Judgment Day.
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It is Sit On Your Face Friday, so make sure to wear a helmet and do not giggle.
Submitted by Your Mom Ate th... on July 18, 2008 - 11:00am.
Ahh, you rock. And a tape dispenser, too! I've been having an extra-bad week--been sick, got a ticket for failing to fix my bumper, I'm sick of my job, driving everywhere is stressing me out bigtime, and my bf's been acting like an unappreciative, insensitive douchebag. I'd look for an open field so I can stand and scream my lungs out, but where I live there are so many people that I'd probably draw a crowd.
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Well, if it makes you feel any better, I was sick too, dreamt I got a ticket, public transit pisses me off and me and my bf almost broke up! That probably doesn't help, but I feel your pain and give you many smooches. If you want to talk about it girl-like times, send me a PM.
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"Fooled you, poopie." - Okie
_Submitted by LOVE CARROTTOP on July 18, 2008 - 11:08am.
Yezzzz ize gots yer candy lil gurl nowz gets in mah vanz and shutz it!
ha ha ha
Yuze wantz to see mahz play stashun?
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We is tailing jokes in hair twoday!
Submitted by LoLo on July 18, 2008 - 10:56am.
Screw sitting in this corner!
Why dont you two bitches hop in my van for a little joy ride?
*puts un dollar store sun glasses and revs engine*
Ive got snacks and supplies.
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Do you have candies? And a camera? How about a video recorder and a bear-skin rug? Without those, I'm not coming.
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"Fooled you, poopie." - Okie
I really like Salma, but in interviews she seems very self-righteous. In a recent interview she was cutting down people being married, and I was thinking the whole time while I was reading it that her baby-daddy probably doesn't want to get married and she's making excuses.
OH! We iz in teh van turnin frowns upside downz!
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We is tailing jokes in hair twoday!
Why am I not surprised! She has always said she was desperate to have a baby, and now she has one! And a very rich one!
Submitted by LoLo on July 18, 2008 - 9:56am.
Submitted by Your Mom Ate th... on July 18, 2008 - 10:51am.
Submitted by LOVE CARROTTOP on July 18, 2008 - 9:48am
Screw sitting in this corner!
Why dont you two bitches hop in my van for a little joy ride?
*puts un dollar store sun glasses and revs engine*
Ive got snacks and supplies.
Come on Kdracofan, youre coming too! Its too hot today im taking you sluts swimmin in the cement pond!
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Hey, I'm up for some Happy Joy LoLo Van Times. LCT, change of plans!
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Sorrow is knowledge, those that know the most must mourn the deepest, the tree of knowledge is not the tree of life. -- Lord Byron
Submitted by LOVE CARROTTOP on July 18, 2008 - 9:53am.
Submitted by Your Mom Ate th... on July 18, 2008 - 10:51am.
Sure. Actually, I've got some free time so I'll build you your very own corner with a tape dispenser. You ok?
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Ahh, you rock. And a tape dispenser, too! I've been having an extra-bad week--been sick, got a ticket for failing to fix my bumper, I'm sick of my job, driving everywhere is stressing me out bigtime, and my bf's been acting like an unappreciative, insensitive douchebag. I'd look for an open field so I can stand and scream my lungs out, but where I live there are so many people that I'd probably draw a crowd.
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Sorrow is knowledge, those that know the most must mourn the deepest, the tree of knowledge is not the tree of life. -- Lord Byron
LCT,
I'd lick eye boogers for you, man!
Movie tip...Watch "In Bruges"!
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If you've never seen an elephant ski, you've never been on acid. - Izzard
Submitted by Sheeps on July 18, 2008 - 9:52am
Well, I myself don't think the baby is his, but the baby does have that red hair... and when she denied the rumor she never said, no I was not fucking the french, just that she had never said who the baby's father was. Hmmmm.... ____________________________________________
Rudeness is a weak man's imitation of strenght.
Save an animal in a shelter: Http://dogsindanger.com
Get lost: http://dharmasecrets.com
Submitted by Your Mom Ate th... on July 18, 2008 - 10:51am.
Submitted by LOVE CARROTTOP on July 18, 2008 - 9:48am
Screw sitting in this corner!
Why dont you two bitches hop in my van for a little joy ride?
*puts un dollar store sun glasses and revs engine*
Ive got snacks and supplies.
Come on Kdracofan, youre coming too! Its too hot today im taking you sluts swimmin in the cement pond!
______________________________________________
We is tailing jokes in hair twoday!
At least the baby will have a lifetime supply of Gucci purses. Little bitch.
Submitted by Your Mom Ate th... on July 18, 2008 - 10:51am.
Hey LCT, can I borrow that corner for a bit after LoLo? I was originally going to crawl into a ditch and die, but I got to thinking that I can't die until I've seen Sonic Youth live at least once.
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Sure. Actually, I've got some free time so I'll build you your very own corner with a tape dispenser. You ok?
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"Fooled you, poopie." - Okie
Submitted by vanyvrgs on July 18, 2008 - 7:46am.
Hmmm, the plot thickens. He is a wild-oat sower, then. Linda's baby-daddy is said to be an "unnamed NYC architect"! (That narrows it down.)
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Just saw that Ronaldo has dumped Nereida Gallardo. Making plans to move forthwith to Europe, once I locate it on a mappy thing.
Submitted by LOVE CARROTTOP on July 18, 2008 - 9:48am.
You don't have to sit there for very long. Besides, that's my alone-time corner. And I'm going to need it today.
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Hey LCT, can I borrow that corner for a bit after LoLo? I was originally going to crawl into a ditch and die, but I got to thinking that I can't die until I've seen Sonic Youth live at least once.
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Sorrow is knowledge, those that know the most must mourn the deepest, the tree of knowledge is not the tree of life. -- Lord Byron
MK...pass along Mr. Pinault's number..If this bitch cant do it right, someone has to! *rolls up sleeves*
Submitted by parissucksliterally on July 18, 2008 - 7:44am.
Perhaps romantically but not financially. I told "Salmita" (my pet nickname for her) to get the saggy-faced French dude signed up.
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Just saw that Ronaldo has dumped Nereida Gallardo. Making plans to move forthwith to Europe, once I locate it on a mappy thing.
Clarisse, thanks for licking the snot wad off of my neck. I almost forgot about that.
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"Fooled you, poopie." - Okie
Submitted by LoLo on July 18, 2008 - 10:37am.
Sits in corner at LCT's request.
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You don't have to sit there for very long. Besides, that's my alone-time corner. And I'm going to need it today.
SMOOCH. I misses you Lolo Times.
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"Fooled you, poopie." - Okie
No wedding. Hmmm....
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Sorrow is knowledge, those that know the most must mourn the deepest, the tree of knowledge is not the tree of life. -- Lord Byron
Submitted by Sheeps on July 18, 2008 - 9:38am.
Nop they had a baby I thought like a month within each other and they claim Linda's baby is his.
Oh and hello all.
____________________________________________
Rudeness is a weak man's imitation of strenght.
Save an animal in a shelter: Http://dogsindanger.com
Get lost: http://dharmasecrets.com
Submitted by Clarisse on July 18, 2008 - 10:42am.
*****turns and gropes Clarisse's hwat ass!!!
kdracofan♥
LoLo, she abandoned it at the vet's. She should be drawn and quartered, slow roasted over an open fire, and then thrown to wolves. I say cook her, because that should kill all her multiple STDs, wouldn't want to harm the wolves.
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"Shes like a catroach with nine lives and a disgusting shell"-LoLo on 6/24/08
♥♥ If you don't talk to your Cat about Catnip, who will? ♥♥
This is very good news for Sheeps...but I'm sure she told him this news herself....
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“I'm full of artificial sweetner; My heart's been deceitful, I'm faking 'I love you's, you're forcing me to...."
-No Doubt "Artificial Sweetner"
FatMartha,
High Five!!
*runs up and gives Kizzy and LCT a drive-by lick*
On topic...you cannot in fact, ever have TOO much $$$.
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If you've never seen an elephant ski, you've never been on acid. - Izzard
Kizzy: good moring :)
Lolo: O my boss def. thinks I am insane...lol
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"D-Listed is like chicks who hang out together for a long time- they start getting their periods the same day.
All d-listed sluts start to think exactly alike after a while. LOLOLOLOL" Mel-tang!
:D I feel so happy to be here. :]
@ Am: Don't worry, you won't hear any of that racist stuff from me. Can't stand those types of ignorant a-holes.
Submitted by vanyvrgs on July 18, 2008 - 7:29am.
I am not sure it was she who left him but the other way around. I thought they had been a rumor that he was "cavorting" with Linda Evangelista at some point.
Vany, wasn't that pre-Salma? I bet he did cheat, however. No one should be surprised by that. It comes with being a single billionaire.
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Just saw that Ronaldo has dumped Nereida Gallardo. Making plans to move forthwith to Europe, once I locate it on a mappy thing.
Submitted by Kizzy on July 18, 2008 - 10:35am.
WHA? Paris Hilton threw away a Kitten?
BITCH!
edit:
Agrees with break down!!!!!
edit:
Sits in corner at LCT's request.
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We is tailing jokes in hair twoday!
some people say 'cavorting', I say 'fucking'.
And he is a perfect example of ugly old men that need loads of money to get next to a hot chick.
Linda Evangelista is perfection and I hope she got a big fat check from his ass!
www.myspace.com/triston
Submitted by LoLo on July 18, 2008 - 10:30am.
uh
*note to self:Remember to write down MK's plan on tricking fat french man into being a lesbian*
*note to self: learn how to read better you bitch Lolo.That is NOT even what MK wrote. You stupid sexy bitch*
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You need a taco box time out.
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"Fooled you, poopie." - Okie
Submitted by LoLo on July 18, 2008 - 10:33am.
ROFL my post on the Parisite abandoning her kitty thread throws me into the Tourette's basket, too.
At least you're funny about yours!!
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"Shes like a catroach with nine lives and a disgusting shell"-LoLo on 6/24/08
♥♥ If you don't talk to your Cat about Catnip, who will? ♥♥