How Does This Happen?
According to InTouch Weekly, Orlando Bloom and Miranda Kerr are no longer licking each other's pussies. Miranda has apparently already picked herself up a rebound and his name is Greasy Bear aka Fat Elvis aka Brandon Davis. SUCIO! You would save money on lube by fucking Greasy Bear, but your dignity would never be the same. That's if you have dignity in the first place.
Miranda and Greasy Bear reportedly did fuckey fuckey times back in November but they both denied it. Recently, they were spotted "canoodling" at two clubs in NYC. Canoodling with Greasy Bear must be like taking a vaseline shower.
A witness said, "They were full on making out. They didn’t seem to care who saw." A source said that Miranda always goes to Greasy Bear when she has a fight with Orlando. Her spokesbitch denies she's split with Orlando.
I mean, how does one even start fucking Greasy Bear? Did she slip on his greasy puddle and accidentally land on his dick made of lard? I'm the whoriest whore whoever whored and I still wouldn't get with that. Ok.....I lie. I'd lick the tip, but just because I like the taste of Crisco.
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Just wondering:
a) is she a dumb bitch?
b) what a horrible loser is Orlando that she prefers Brandon?
c) which inner values (or magic d!ck) has Fat Elvis?
I'm so confused....
Some people like grease. Especially if it's free and unlimited.
http://danceontheroof.com
Maybe Greasy Bear has something we don't know about. Sure seems that for a penniless, greasy douchebag, he gets a lot of hot woman!
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"Money is the magic wand that turns many a frog into a prince" - ChubbyWubby
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She comes from a property in the outback of Australia. She may not know what civilized company is.
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“The first condition of understanding a foreign country is to smell it.” ~Rudyard Kipling
Isn't GB broke now as well? Therefore he literally has NOTHING to offer the ladies. I don't get it.
I'm willing to bet everything that he also has a ridiculously tiny dick.
So some chick that could have Orlando Bloom is rushing over to greasy bear instead? Is she from another planet, where flabby and greasy and coked-out and teeming with Parasite's STDs are all attractive?
There is NO WAY that this chick will ever be desirable after doing the nasty with this STD vector. She probably just filled out a Valtrex prescription.
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"I guess we'll need some more FBI guys."
Submitted by patty cake on July 16, 2008 - 10:02pm.
atleast we all now know that miranda is damaged goods now that she's cavorting with greasy elvis...anyone who dates her after him should know to bring their own can of raid...
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be honest...is my wig on straight?
agreed letinstar
xoxox
The war isn't working.
no matter how much of a trust fund greasy fat elvis is cut off from, dating him is still a major downgrade... ____________________________________________
be honest...is my wig on straight?
SHEEPS
that was funny!
xoxox
The war isn't working.
maybe she thinks she can get her slimy hands on his greasy bank account..but wasnt he cut off?
xoxox
The war isn't working.
She should get with Stavros Niarchos instead. What happened to him? He was so hot. He probably has herpes, but if she's going to get with ONE of Paris' used up pieces, she should get with the really hot one.
She seems to be into guys with poor personal hygiene. Is she from France or does she just have an Oscar the Grouch fetish?
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My life is nothing but a convoluted drinking game.
No, I refuse to believe this on accounts that I refuse to believe a good looking chick who could score Orlando would stoop that low! WHY????? WHY???? Even if the Orlando gay rumors are true, why go there???? No, don't go there!!!!
Although, if you give him a good ass douche, set him out on the beach for a while, I'll bet he makes an excellent deep fat fryer....
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Sorry, Roger, you are tiger now...
She has now thrown away any hope of replacing Adriana Lima as the hottest Victoria's Secret model. From now on, every time I see her I will think of Greasy Bear.
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"I guess we'll need some more FBI guys."
EWWW. Don't put your mouth on that man! That's nasty! EWWWW!
♥ ThreadKilla! / Lean Like a Chola / She's a Lady.
Avvie courtesy of Viva La Lohan.
Can someone please tell me how she could go from orlando to this oil float?
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Honestly, this girl needs to dig a hole and stick her head in it.
She has no intelligence, no class, no beauty, no charm NOTHING doing for her.
Submitted by Lucy Goosey on Rumor Willis
Mr. President:
yeah thats got to be it. either that or she's on the TOTAL REBOUND!
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Honestly, this girl needs to dig a hole and stick her head in it.
She has no intelligence, no class, no beauty, no charm NOTHING doing for her.
Submitted by Lucy Goosey on Rumor Willis
Hi Gucci. The only logical answer I can provide is that this chick has ISSUES.
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"I guess we'll need some more FBI guys."
If they married, she'd be Kerr-Bear.
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No se puede vivir con tanto veneno.
Absolute LIES! This chick is so hot she could choose any man in the world. But this mope? If Greasy Bear sold Exxon the drilling rights to his face, he would single-handedly solve the energy crisis. Most girls would rather fuck that giant Cheeto than Greasy Bear.
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"I guess we'll need some more FBI guys."
Brandon is fuckin greasy! Crisco oil and anchor butter have nothing on his ass! the oil from his hair and skin could be used to deep fry for hundreds of years!
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Honestly, this girl needs to dig a hole and stick her head in it.
She has no intelligence, no class, no beauty, no charm NOTHING doing for her.
Submitted by Lucy Goosey on Rumor Willis
How do you go from Will Turner to Davy Jones?
This is the other use for baby wipes that Terrence Howard had in mind...Greasy Bear LIVES! I haven't heard from that sorry greasy fucker in ages!
Your face!
Submitted by cake batter on July 16, 2008 - 6:19pm.
Ewwwww, Greasy Bear reminds me of the guy at Speedi Lube who stares and makes me uncomfortable when I take my car in for an oil change, and I'm always praying, please don't come in here and show me my dirty filter, but he always does, even when it's not that dirty.
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That's hilarious!!! They do the same thing to me when I go into Jiffy Lube!
She's a model, right? Maybe she can start Greasy on a good skincare program.
He should carry blotting papers along with his condoms and coke.
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My lyrics are sometimes sexist
But bitches oughta know
I’m trying to correct this.
Orlie Bloom, YUM
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Dick happens! - MK
Submitted by Misty on July 16, 2008 - 3:06pm.
Submitted by NovaNightly on July 16, 2008 - 5:00pm.
Its been a rumor for years since LOTR. But then if I was a man and working with Viggo, I'd swing that way LOL.
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Strangely...i find the thought of him being Bi as AWESOME. lol.
GOSH!!! I thought i knew it all about him!! Oh well...i used to follow his hawt ass daily in the tabs...but then i met my husband...to which my first words were "Did anyone ever tell you that you look like Orlando Bloom"....;P ..and we lived Happily Ever AFTER!! heheheheh
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I cannot brain today....I have the dumb -lolcats
=========She looks so pretty and sexy. She is my favor. I saw her new sexy privacy pho0tos in site -----------------‘’M o d e l m i l l i o n a i r e . c o m’’----------------. So wonder. She is always dating young billionaire on that site.
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That's a cruddy pic of Greasy E. I still think he's HWAT. & fuckable, albeit oily. And the good thing about him: no need for KY.
*Edit, whoops I said that before reading the whole story. MK we think alike ya ho!
(¯`'•.¸(¯`'•.¸♥¸.•'´¯)¸.•'´¯)
Am I getting old or is the supermarket playing great music?
Ewwwww, Greasy Bear reminds me of the guy at Speedi Lube who stares and makes me uncomfortable when I take my car in for an oil change, and I'm always praying, please don't come in here and show me my dirty filter, but he always does, even when it's not that dirty.
Not. Attractive. I'd rather fuck the elf.
I thought Greasy Bear was broke?
ghetto bear dude this is fucking retarded, enough of the ghetto shit.
I want to have a spokesbitch. One who will stand on my stoop and relay my PR message. "No, Impertinent Vixen will not be running errands today. She has to work and then scrub the toilet. She stands by her claim that she did not eat the last of the Oreos, despite what Mr. Impertinent Vixen says. Also, Boy Scout Dad and she were just TALKING over the fence and are only good friends."
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I think it would be interesting if old people got anti-Alzheimer's disease where they slowly began to recover other people's lost memories. - George Carlin
Submitted by NovaNightly on July 16, 2008 - 5:00pm.
Its been a rumor for years since LOTR. But then if I was a man and working with Viggo, I'd swing that way LOL.
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"Paris Hilton is like a bowling ball: she's picked up, fingered, and thrown in the gutter." - von3248 (1/12/08)
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Somehow it seems a might pedo to be attracted to Orlando, The Hairless Man-Boy.
"Edwina's insides were a rocky place where my seed could find no purchase. " -- H.I. McDunnough
If these people were to have a threesome the girl would have so little to do she would have time to read Ulysses and do two loads of laundry.
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Making LOVE? God, you're so cute.
www.myspace.com/dreamhypnotique
AIM dreamhypnotique
Peruvian Flake can make a girl do horrible things.
Mrs Kravitz,
Good! I'm excited to see it now!
The Last Lecture...Oi !
Is the story of Randy Pausch's (a professor at Carnegie Mellon) "Last Lecture". He was diagnosed with terminal cancer. Given 6 months...
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"He's British. The accent makes anyone at least a little humpable." -BobsBB
I like "Married To The Mob" Alec myself.....that movie was so great!
Merceded Ruehl....."That bitch...she thinks her shit don't stink"....hahahahhaha
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"...got so sick of crying, so just lately, when I catch myself, I do a 180...."
- Amy Winehouse "Wake Up Alone"
Submitted by Mrs.Kravitz on July 16, 2008 - 5:28pm.
Submitted by Kizzy on July 16, 2008 - 2:24pm
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OK, I can't argue with you there, Blovinator Alex does look better than Beetlejuice Alex.
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"Shes like a catroach with nine lives and a disgusting shell"-LoLo on 6/24/08
♥♥ If you don't talk to your Cat about Catnip, who will? ♥♥
Submitted by Clarisse on July 16, 2008 - 2:26pm.
I loved it!
(Last Lecture? Gotta look that up. Never heard of it.)
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I have dandruff, and I buy most of my jeans from a grocery store.
Submitted by Kizzy on July 16, 2008 - 2:24pm.
ROFL Neither is Alec Baldwin, anymore!!
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Funny you should say that. I saw a few minutes of Beetlejuice a couple months ago on TV and I thought, "huh, Alec is so much hotter now!"
That's the way uh huh uh huh I like it uh huh uh huh.
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I have dandruff, and I buy most of my jeans from a grocery store.
Mrs.Kravitz!
That is waiting on my entertainment center for tonight!! I was going to watch it last night, but i finished reading "The Last Lecture" instead.
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"He's British. The accent makes anyone at least a little humpable." -BobsBB
Submitted by Mrs.Kravitz on July 16, 2008 - 5:20pm.
Submitted by Kizzy on July 16, 2008 - 2:18pm.
he's no Alec Baldwin.
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ROFL Neither is Alec Baldwin, anymore!!
BWAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
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"Shes like a catroach with nine lives and a disgusting shell"-LoLo on 6/24/08
♥♥ If you don't talk to your Cat about Catnip, who will? ♥♥
Submitted by parissucksliterally on July 16, 2008 - 5:20pm.
AWWWWW SHIT!!!!! DAMMIT!! FUUUUCK!!! That's right.
Thanks for reminding me.
IhopeIhopeIhopeitssnipped, LMAO
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"Shes like a catroach with nine lives and a disgusting shell"-LoLo on 6/24/08
♥♥ If you don't talk to your Cat about Catnip, who will? ♥♥
OH
speaking of HWAT Irish dudes...
I watched In Bruges last week
Oh
My
God
Colin Farrell is the only man I've ever loved!!!!!
where has he been all my life?
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I have dandruff, and I buy most of my jeans from a grocery store.
kizzy, you'd better make sure he's circumcised before you go claiming that peen.....hehee
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"...got so sick of crying, so just lately, when I catch myself, I do a 180...."
- Amy Winehouse "Wake Up Alone"
Submitted by Kizzy on July 16, 2008 - 2:18pm.
he's no Alec Baldwin.
:)
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I have dandruff, and I buy most of my jeans from a grocery store.