Wednesday, July 16th 2008

The Mac Dude Scores Again

The Mac Dude only broke up with Drew Barrymore less than a week ago, but he's already found a rebound. Some source told OK! Magazine that this morning, while we were in our beds dreaming of cotton candy penises (seriously, that was my dream), Kiki and Justin Long were holding hands and being gross in NYC.

The source said, "Justin was holding Kirsten's hand while walking around downtown NYC in the SoHo area. They looked like they had stayed out all night and Justin had bloodshot eyes, but Kirsten was all over him and kept leaning in to kiss him." Kiki loves bloodshot eyes. She also loves eye boogers. She probably ate those off him. And he sucked off the leftover food that gets stuck her snagtooth. Well! They are both dirty birds. Dirty celebrities like being dirty together.

Up until today, I figured Justin was just some nothing actor who got lucky with the Mac commercials. But I decided to IMDB him and he's been in a lot of shit. He was the voice of Alvin in the "Alvin and the Chipmunks" movie!! I'd hit it for that reason alone. Imagine him saying, "I'm gonna cum all over your titties" in his Alvin voice? Amazing....and sexy.

Oh and they probably broke up before their first orgasm together. Kiki texted "It's OVER" to him, right before she came. That's how she works.

Posted by: Michael K


Triscuit's picture

He was in "Waiting".
Great movie if you have ever worked at a restaurant.
Shenanigans!!!!

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"Big shit poppin',little shit stoppin"
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NovaNightly's picture

I swear to GOD that if I have to see him and Kiki drunkst trolling around town with shit eating bicuspids on their faces...Imma gonna burn some shit down!

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I cannot brain today....I have the dumb -lolcats

WTFOMGLOL's picture

ohh goody .. just when we got used to seeing JLong parading DBarry around town on his visits home .. now we get treated to Kiki.

Can't wait to see who he brings home next lol.

He and John Mayer are from the same hometown.
that's right, we know how to grow em icky here.

stake_spike's picture

Kiki and Drew seem to share each other's leftovers.

It's strange indie actresses f-ck other indie actresses boyfreinds, A-list stick together, models and musicians etc. This should be some sociological study, it's wierd. They sort of all stay within their ranks.

DebFrmHell's picture

MK had me from eating eye boogers...(slight gagging reflex but it is all good!))

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And I find it kinda funny.
I find it kinda sad.
The dreams in which I'm dying
Are the best I've ever had.

mishma's picture

OK so give me the scoop, who is trolling who, who insulted who, who delivered some fine, finger licking ownage and who got drunk and posted that they wanted to lick MK's dirtstar? This is really the only knowledge that matters, ladies, reading Proust cannot teach me about reacharounds, kk?

NovaNightly's picture

I have to hear that shit about how AWESOME mac is every damn day from my husband. I just let it go in one ear and out the other....pffft.

AND NOW FOR SOMETHING COMPLETELY DIFFERENT!!

Hell's Grannies!!!!

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I cannot brain today....I have the dumb -lolcats

Mrs.Kravitz's picture

Submitted by NovaNightly on July 16, 2008 - 12:22pm.

Mmmmmmmmmmmm, churros

-☮'---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮-
I have dandruff, and I buy most of my jeans from a grocery store.

BobsBB's picture

He grows the nastiest pubes on his face ever. And this coming from someone who grows some pretty nasty pube facial hair himself. Some people should only dates beards, not try and grow them.

NovaNightly's picture

Submitted by Mrs.Kravitz on July 16, 2008 - 12:06pm.
Submitted by Leatherette on July 16, 2008 - 11:58am.

Thanks, VERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRY FUNNY!

I went to a mall the other day and there was this loooooong ass line to get into the Apple store so I asked some people, "Is this the line for the Talbots sale?"

HAHAHA I crack me up
----------

I do that too...only i always ask "Is this the line for the churros??" That gets them everytime!! ;P

****++++****++++****++++****++++****
I cannot brain today....I have the dumb -lolcats

moonmaid's picture

There are dirt marks on my computer screen that make him appear to have several facial moles!

Alltheprettyones's picture

Snaggle-Puss has found a new love, ahhh!

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"Fuck off, ya Bitch-holes." by my son. I am so proud...

LoLo's picture

_Submitted by Mrs.Kravitz on July 16, 2008 - 3:18pm.

*hands Mrs. K banana bread*

I warmed it up for you wiff mah boobees!
_____________________________________________
We is tailing jokes in hair twoday!

dreamhypnotique's picture

You can sort of see how Kirstin will look when she's old.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Making LOVE? God, you're so cute.

www.myspace.com/dreamhypnotique
AIM dreamhypnotique

Mrs.Kravitz's picture

Submitted by LoLo on July 16, 2008 - 12:07pm.

*stuffs bra with banana bread*
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
lemme see that banana bread, yo
-☮'---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮-
I have dandruff, and I buy most of my jeans from a grocery store.

Leatherette's picture

Submitted by Mrs.Kravitz on July 16, 2008 - 3:06pm.

Submitted by Leatherette on July 16, 2008 - 11:58am.

Thanks, VERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRY FUNNY!

I went to a mall the other day and there was this loooooong ass line to get into the Apple store so I asked some people, "Is this the line for the Talbots sale?"

HAHAHA I crack me up.
-------------------------------

no probs *mmmmm, lemony vka thraflu* and to the mac weeny below:

No, never have never will, please do link to the links I linked (????...) they'll make your dweeby day, PROMISE

LoLo's picture

_Submitted by missy on July 16, 2008 - 3:11pm.
Submitted by mike on July 16, 2008 - 2:09pm.
Please, not a Mac vs. PC war...

TASTES GREAT!!!!!!!!!!!
LESS FILLING!!!!!!!!

* wrestles myself into a fountain. fondles my own boob like in the miller lite ads*

_____________________________________________
We is tailing jokes in hair twoday!

moonmaid's picture

mishma's picture
Submitted by mishma on July 16, 2008 - 7:01pm.

Is it me but banging him would be like banging the paperboy. I could almost feel the Amber Alert

************

Yes, nothing remotely sexy about this one. A hairless chest too, I'd wager.

missy's picture

Submitted by mike on July 16, 2008 - 2:09pm.
Please, not a Mac vs. PC war...

**

mike, if it starts, we're powerless against it. thoset hings can get craaaazzzyyyy!!!

if it starts, Im bailing

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Fuck 'Em If They Can't Take A Joke

a message from the Church of the SubGenius

Momus the Sarcastic's picture

Macs have always boasted about being plug-n-play machines.

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I didn’t say that it was your fault – I said that I was going to blame you.
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missy's picture

Submitted by OneLiner on July 16, 2008 - 2:05pm.
Whoever is talking shit about macs needs to shut up, it's clear you dont own one......

**

uhm, i think thatd be... no one??

Now I wanna know, who's banging PC guy??

_____________________________________________

Fuck 'Em If They Can't Take A Joke

a message from the Church of the SubGenius

mike's picture

Please, not a Mac vs. PC war...

LoLo's picture

Submitted by OneLiner on July 16, 2008 - 3:05pm.
Whoever is talking shit about macs needs to shut up, it's clear you dont own one......

ohhhhhhhh OFFENSIVE!
Perhaps it is the DELL corporation who has paid these bitches to sit on the D-list and bad mouff the MAC to try to bring down all the CAD programs and fuck the drafters and designers of the world in the arse???

*stuffs bra with banana bread*
______________________________________________
We is tailing jokes in hair twoday!

parissucksliterally's picture

OneLiner, it is personal preference. I have worked on both Macs and PCs....I prefer my PC.

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"...got so sick of crying, so just lately, when I catch myself, I do a 180...."
- Amy Winehouse "Wake Up Alone"

Regina's picture

I'll only believe when I see the pictures. Apparently she was going out with Ryan Gosling and he's seeing someone else!

UFLauren's picture

Poor Drew...

'Never mess with a chick with lip liner, no lipstick'

Mrs.Kravitz's picture

Submitted by Leatherette on July 16, 2008 - 11:58am.

Thanks, VERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRY FUNNY!

I went to a mall the other day and there was this loooooong ass line to get into the Apple store so I asked some people, "Is this the line for the Talbots sale?"

HAHAHA I crack me up.
-☮'---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮-
I have dandruff, and I buy most of my jeans from a grocery store.

OneLiner's picture

Whoever is talking shit about macs needs to shut up, it's clear you dont own one......

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"Home remedy #108: IF YOU HAVE A BAD COUGH, TAKE A LARGE DOSE OF LAXATIVES. THEN YOU'LL
BE AFRAID TO COUGH.

Clarisse's picture

Oh, and i challenge Jared to come up with a post that can include cotton candy penises, Alvin and the Chipmunks and eye boogers and still make sense.

Ok, well, maybe it only makes sense to Dlisters, but still cotton candy penises, Alvin and the Chipmunks and eye boogers!!!

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"He's British. The accent makes anyone at least a little humpable." -BobsBB

mishma's picture

Is it me but banging him would be like banging the paperboy. I could almost feel the Amber Alert

Didn't the same thing happen when she dumped the guy from the Strokes? Kirsten likes Drew's left overs I guess.

missy's picture

Holy lord MK, you DID NOT dream about peen made out of cotton candy... god I love you!

_____________________________________________

Fuck 'Em If They Can't Take A Joke

a message from the Church of the SubGenius

LoLo's picture

I HATE THOSE COMMERCIALS SO BAAAAAD!

PUKE
______________________________________________
We is tailing jokes in hair twoday!

vanyvrgs's picture

Wasn't she with Ryan Gosling? If she was.. total downgrade for her.

As for Mac Dude --- I guess he is sleeping his way around hollywood. If Sienna can do it.... ___________________________________________
Rudeness is a weak man's imitation of strenght.

Save an animal in a shelter: Http://dogsindanger.com

Get lost: http://dharmasecrets.com

mike's picture

Huh? HUH?

Leatherette's picture

Submitted by Mrs.Kravitz on July 16, 2008 - 2:54pm.

Submitted by Leatherette on July 16, 2008 - 11:53am.
Mac proprietary over-hyped, form over function
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Seriously...what does that mean?
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It means the following:

http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net/c.cgi?u=macs_cant

http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net/c.cgi?u=iphone

^^^^^^^^^^^^^

that guy can explain it MUCH better than I can, but it may be a tad offensive, boo hoo

gonna chug down another TheraFlu and vodka cocktail, happy reading

mishma's picture

Um, I hope he likes to guide her drunk ass around cuz I don't think Kiki has, you know, hobbies

dreamhypnotique's picture

Well, it's HIS pasty, untalented, unsuccessful-attempt-to-look-like-the-lovable-everyman life.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Making LOVE? God, you're so cute.

www.myspace.com/dreamhypnotique
AIM dreamhypnotique

Clarisse's picture

Massive downgrade.

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"He's British. The accent makes anyone at least a little humpable." -BobsBB

parissucksliterally's picture

here we go again.....true love, Hollywood Style...

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"...got so sick of crying, so just lately, when I catch myself, I do a 180...."
- Amy Winehouse "Wake Up Alone"

Mrs.Kravitz's picture

Submitted by Leatherette on July 16, 2008 - 11:53am.
Mac proprietary over-hyped, form over function
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Seriously...what does that mean?

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Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?

This dude likes his whores..FUGLY!!

Mrs.Kravitz's picture

Rebound.
it'll never last

-☮'---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮---☮-
Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?

The C word's picture

Holy, Justin Sienna Long Miller!

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My lyrics are sometimes sexist
But bitches oughta know
I’m trying to correct this.

Leatherette's picture

& I fucking HATE Mac proprietary over-hyped, form over function shit with a passion -- and FUCK it sucks to be ill and jonesing for trash gossip

Leatherette's picture

BREAKING NEWS: money makes teeny weeny nerdy peeny hot

Diana Crabtree's picture

I would be pissed if a week after we broke up my bf was with someone new. Drew must have dumped him

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When the cat is away, the mice will smoke crack!
-MK

http://www.dianacrabtree.blogspot.com