Reese Is The HBIC
When Jakey Poo moved into Reese Witherspoon's house, she immediately gave him a few ground rules. She told him that he couldn't have any boys after midnight, he has to wash his ass dildos after every use and he can only blast ABBA on Saturday afternoons.
A source told Star (via MSNBC) she also give him a few other rules, “Some of (the things she insists on) are run-of-the-mill. He has to take off his shoes when he’s in the house; trash must be taken out when the can is three-quarters full; and no feet on the coffee table.” Take out the trash? Um, doesn't she have a maid? And if she doesn't have a maid, that's what kids are fucking for.
Speaking of the word "fucking," Jakey Poo can't use it word anymore. The source went on to say, “Jake used to swear like a sailor, but not anymore. If he does, he has to apologize.” Boring! Who's going to teach the kids important words like cunt and slutbag? I bet Reese has one of those annoying swear jars where you have to give a dollar if you curse. I'd be fuckity fucked. Poor Jakey Poo. You know he loves saying, "Bitch, please" and now he can't.
Strict ass Reese also forces her family to eat at the dinner table and to tell each other in advance if they have other dinner plans. Reese is such a mom! And who the hell wants to eat at the dinner table unless there's a big TV in front of it!?
According to the source, Jakey Poo apparently loves all the rules. He would. He's a total sub.
Here's some pictures of floppy haired Jakey Poo in Paris with Mom Reese and her kids.
Splashnewsonline.com
ShareThis
They're an odd, boring couple.
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
blahville
______________________________________________
We is tailing jokes in hair twoday!
I am currently resting ym foot on my coffee table. Now I feel kind of bad about it.
And I try to cram every last thing I can into the trash until it is taken out. So?
He probably says "poop" a lot...and Reese just isnt havin' it!
****++++****++++****++++****++++****
I cannot brain today....I have the dumb -lolcats
I hope she added: Put the SEAT down! I hate that shit
I cant complain about her rules...mine are kinda the same. No cussing around the boys...hubby takes the trash out at 3/4's full, but only because it doesnt have a lid...grossness. As for dinner table...we are kinda chaotic at my house. We eat when we get the chance. Nighttimes are busy!!
You gotta have rules when you're da mommy!! ;P
Other than that....i LOVE jakes extensions...they look hawt. I can imagine him all Prince of Persia'd out....HAWT!
****++++****++++****++++****++++****
I cannot brain today....I have the dumb -lolcats
I don't see anything wrong with those rules. Children learn what they see, and she's just establishing structure for her children. That's a good mom, not a bad girlfriend. Her focus is on what's right for her kids, not herself, or her boyfriend.
************************************
"Shes like a catroach with nine lives and a disgusting shell"-LoLo on 6/24/08
♥♥ If you don't talk to your Cat about Catnip, who will? ♥♥
fucking hell! i'm fucking sorry, i just can't fucking see this jackass swearing like a fucking sailor!
-----------------------------
"Here comes the story of the Hurricane.
The man the authorities came to blame,
for somethin' that he never done."
Lame.. I'd be like Uh bitch.. This here Dildo only gets washed after every 3 or 4 uses.. Its like bong water.. The more used up, the better the taste!
-----------------------------------
I'm Miss World, Somebody kill me!
Kill me pills; No one cares, my friends.
I'm Miss World,Watch me break and watch me burn
No one can hear me, my friends!
Am I just type A or is there absolutely nothing wrong with the "rules" she gave? No shoes, not letting the trash overflow, no feet on the table... doesn't sound overly HBIC-y to me.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Pre-suck my genital situation!