Jessica Simpson Is So Cuntry

Many people are discussing it at wealthy dating club R I C H L O V I N G.C O M, where the hot affluent singles and sexy girls and models to hook up for Hot Love, Flirt and Sexy Dating!

Once again have to go against the crowd... Like her, like her song. Guess I don't feel the need to trash everybody. Now if you want to trash her dad, let me back up my dump-truck.

I'm bored, so I actually listened to this stupid shit.

There is such a thing as good country music, but this ain't it.

Jessica sounds so utterly bland, boring, vanilla and is lacking in any expressiveness or charm whatsoever.

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"When your balls are free, you will find inner peace." - Utilikilts

She embarrasses herself once again. She can't hold a candle to Carrie Underwood. Tony is an idiot

When she fails to sell albums in one musical genre, she just inevitably moves on to another in the hopes of becoming relevant. In her remarkable career she's been a gospel singer, Top 40 wannabe, teen pop flare-out, and now another blonde assembly line country thrush. Up next: Croatian folk music? Only Jewel sold out more shamelessly because she wasn't a whore to begin with.

Submitted by bo_tatoe on July 14, 2008 - 11:57am.
I must have mentioned this before but for the record - country music is the sound of the retarded. It's scientifically proven that listening to country makes stupid.

This is not country music.
BTW Johnny Cash called from the grave and told me to tell you to suck his country ass :)

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We is tailing jokes in hair twoday!

I must have mentioned this before but for the record - country music is the sound of the retarded. It's scientifically proven that listening to country makes stupid.

This whole post made me laugh out loud.

She's asinine.

"Whom gods destroy they first make mad."

Oh, bitch PLEASE.

Jessica, get your GED and get a job. Singing career to OFF.

As if it was ever on.

:( I don't have the phone right now. I'll get it back at 12:00 my time

*waits for sexy time call from Oklahoma* ;)

Xxyxz.. Hi! I'll give you a call n a bit, Love!!

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I'm Miss World, Somebody kill me!
Kill me pills; No one cares, my friends.
I'm Miss World,Watch me break and watch me burn
No one can hear me, my friends!

Oklahoma!!!!

Hey ho! I feel like I haven't talked to you in FOREVER...

Haha she sucks and everyone knows it. She needs to die.

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I don't drink as much as I use to could.
~~Anna Nicole Smith

I refuse to press play.

I will not listen, or watch her open her big fly trap.

She sucks ass.

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"I won’t hold my breath either: they don’t know how to have intelligent conversations. These are loonies from the awfully racist website Dlisted who come here to start trouble..."
-poster on JJ

Somewhere in Switzerland, Shania Twain's lawyers are conducting an investiagtion into this obvious theft.

www.myspace.com/triston

She's the annoying girl whom a boy sleeps with and then she thinks she's his fiance and won't stop calling him even after his mom threatens to kill her if she gets near her son again.

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Making LOVE? God, you're so cute.

www.myspace.com/dreamhypnotique

Ew KarenFlatts, I shudder to re-think about that time when Garth did the Chris Gaines thing, or whatever he called him self, that was some Bi-polar shit right there. I couldn't have sex for years after seeing that.. Neither could my blow up doll Suzie!!

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I'm Miss World, Somebody kill me!
Kill me pills; No one cares, my friends.
I'm Miss World,Watch me break and watch me burn
No one can hear me, my friends!

Oh, I totally get the switching genres thing. I mean, look how well it worked out for Liz Phair and Jewel when they went Pop, or for Garth Brooks when he went "Alternative". Seriously, it just reinforces my belief in their utter dedication to their craft when you see how quickly some of these hobags jump ship like drowning rats when they start losing fame in their chosen genres.

And don't get me started on singers turned actors turned models turned dancers turned reality stars turned dishwashers.....

All this genre shifting only works to accentuate her shitty music.

Ahahahahahahahahahah!!! That's how I spell it too... whether chestica is involved or not. LOL!!!

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Surfing the apocalypse.

She's still pretty, but still a whore.

just when I thought cuntry music couldn't get any grosser we have the loser frog open mouth emptybrain spawn of the whoremonger throwing her hat in the ring.

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"In the unlikely event of a sudden change in cabin pressure.."
ROOF FLIES OFF!

RIP George Carlin

Jessica is so hot.I love her. Her photos were seen at milllionaire persoanals site ******AffluentBachelors . c o m*****last week. It is said she is already in relationship with a young billionaire on that site now.

☆☆☆☆☆???☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

Submitted by Clarisse on July 14, 2008 - 9:44am.

Pass.

I know you guys are calling for Jess's head, but you know, the real evil is the prick telling her she's good/pretty/talented/smart.
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That's funny. That's actually what I thought when I read: Jes Sucka.

♥ ThreadKilla! / Lean Like a Chola / She's a Lady.
KarmaComa. Jamaica Aroma KarmaComa. Jamaica Aroma

Pass.

I know you guys are calling for Jess's head, but you know, the real evil is the prick telling her she's good/pretty/talented/smart.

I say off with Papa Joe's head. This bitch couldn't figure out the "front door knobbie" without someone walking her through it...

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"if I was allergic to nuts, my social life would be O-V-E-R." -M.K.

F# E B

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Honey-moon: The first month after marriage, when there is nothing but tenderness and pleasure. (SJ)

I love how these bitches suddenly develop a southern accent just because they're singing a country song. "ass cubes"?

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A video movie could improve your life.

This ho needs to die...I mean she should release a sex tape or something that people wanna hear or see, not this crap.

DAYANA MENDOZA Miss Universe 2008
VIVA VENEZUELA CARAJO!
<3

LMAO @ Frito..yes lets run down that JesSucka list:

I suck at marriage!
I suck nads!
I suck daddy nads!
I suck at life!
My real hair sucks!
I suck at acting!
I suck at sucking in life!

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I'm Miss World, Somebody kill me!
Kill me pills; No one cares, my friends.
I'm Miss World,Watch me break and watch me burn
No one can hear me, my friends!

to mike

double plus word

Cuntry is really just pop with a twang.

♥ ThreadKilla! / Lean Like a Chola / She's a Lady.
KarmaComa. Jamaica Aroma KarmaComa. Jamaica Aroma

She has no artistic integrity whatsoever. Christian, pop, now country. Whatever Papa Joe thinks might sell more than a dozen units. Not to mention her handbags and shoes are overpriced. She been whored out as much as your average hooker...I'm disgusted.

Submitted by oklahoma on July 14, 2008 - 7:29am.
Frito.. I loves how you called her JesSucka.. Very brilliant!! *swoons over you* *bats eyelashes*
-0-0-0-0-0

Why thank you!
I think the term "Jessucka" has two meanings: one, she sucks at everything she does and two, she likes to suck dick. I mean look at all the pics where she's got her mouth open. What's she trying to say? She's trying to say "I SWALLOW!"
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Geez, Banana shut your friggin' gob, okay?

Frito.. I loves how you called her JesSucka.. Very brilliant!! *swoons over you* *bats eyelashes*

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I'm Miss World, Somebody kill me!
Kill me pills; No one cares, my friends.
I'm Miss World,Watch me break and watch me burn
No one can hear me, my friends!

She tries WAY too hard to be sexy in that video and it just comes off as the opposite. All the poses just don't seem natural at all.
I think Cuntry sums it up perfectly.

Um, no I'm no going to subject myself to Jessucka Simpleton singing today, I don't care how digitally enhanced it is.
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Geez, Banana shut your friggin' gob, okay?

I've got a song for Jessica:

Foot foot two
Eyes of blue
Brain is full of sticky goo
Can't anybody kill this gaalllllllll?

♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠
I think it would be interesting if old people got anti-Alzheimer's disease where they slowly began to recover other people's lost memories. - George Carlin

why is that dumb bitch still making music? wasn't she dropped from her record label - or is that just wishful thinking?

Dear God you owe us bigtime MK; that was the worse thing I've heard in a long time. And I hate hate HATE her little 5 year old rhyming skills. Now I itch all over from listening to that; I think I might be allergic.

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Simplicity provides a fine line between eloquence and plainness. -LL Cool J

Too early, MK.

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Work is the curse of the drinking classes.

*covering ears with my hands & singing: na na na naaaaaaa....you can't make me!*

Thank God all I can see is a big, fat white box with a little red "x" in the upper left corner.

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Pre-suck my genital situation!

Have I seen this before.

Anyhow - all I can think when I hear this song is Bitch, please. Don't encourage that shit.

Say something like:
Go brush your teeth and take a bath
Clean out your truck and grab some cash;

Just come on over!

♥ ThreadKilla! / Lean Like a Chola / She's a Lady.
KarmaComa. Jamaica Aroma KarmaComa. Jamaica Aroma

NO NO NO NO NO NO NO

♫♫♫♫♫♫♫♫♫♫♫♫♫♫♫♫♫♫♫♫♫♫♫
Miss your fucked up ways on my fucked up days.

What's next, light opera? Reggae?

Please go away, you caterwauling ho.

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Póg ma thoin.

I'm not listening - contemporary country music is shit.