Saturday, July 12th 2008

There's A David Lee Roth Imposter On The Loose!

I don't think I've ever posted such a sad headline before. Sad on so many levels. The other day, I posted some story about David Lee Roth being pulled over by Canadian police because he was speeding. The cops found "David" in his car having some sort of medical emergency due to a nut allergy. It turns out that it wasn't David Lee Roth, but someone pretending to be him.

DLR told TMZ that it wasn't him and he's not allergic to nuts, but he is "allergic to is criticism." Is he sure he isn't allergic to nuts? I mean, one would think you would develop an allergy after working with all those nuts in Van Halen.

The Canadian police said the DLR's imposter has been scamming dumb bitches everywhere. He could be charged with obstruction of justice for giving a false name to cops. They also need to charge him with being pathetic enough to impersonate David Lee Roth. I think that charge carries an automatic death sentence.

All this talk of nuts has made me all sexy feeling in the private areas. Anybody have pictures of Mr. Peanut's peanut?

And is it just me or does DLR look like he's impersonating David Hyde Pierce in the picture above?

Thanks Kristina



he looks like Dr. Smith from Lost in Space. Or, the guy from Wang Chung.

Stowe's picture

This guy has posted his personal ad to the wealthy dating site called R I C H L O V I N G.C O M for several months. I just visited his profile page yesterday. It seems he has logged in recently. OMG, is he looking for a new relationship?

angel_i's picture

Submitted by bo_tatoe on July 12, 2008 - 1:01pm.

He's totally looking like a janitor
******************************

True - but I also notice that he DOESN'T look like a druggie. Which, in this day and age, is commendable.

♥ ThreadKilla!
Lean Like a Chola
She's a Lady.

gucci's picture

*shakin my butt and dancing all over the place singing:*

JUST A JIGGALO! love david lee roth!

___________________
Honestly, this girl needs to dig a hole and stick her head in it.
She has no intelligence, no class, no beauty, no charm NOTHING doing for her.

Submitted by Lucy Goosey on Rumor Willis

bo_tatoe's picture

He's totally looking like a janitor - the kind that annoys everyone uncalled with his highschool football glory days.

Sock-Monkey's picture

Submitted by DebFrmHell on July 12, 2008 - 1:31pm.
Oh Socky,
You made me laugh out loud! I just made these for you for that:
!One doz roses origami-ed from Bounce sheets, and wrapped in a ShamWow for tissue!
(stems are from leftover 70s stuff still in a baggie in drawer for special occasions.)
~~~~~~~~~~~
*grabbing my flowers* *deep sniff* mmmmm....Mine! Mine! Mine!

~"~"~"~"~~Mess with me and I'll bite you!.....Monquita Loca~~"~"~"~"~

DR.FUNK's picture

VH with DLR rocks!:

JAMIE'S CRYING
DANCE THE NIGHT AWAY
UNCHAINED
YOU REALLY GOT ME
BEAUTIFUL GIRL

Sadly...the older DLR gets...the more he looks like DON KNOTTS.(r.i.p.)

DebFrmHell's picture

Submitted by Sock-Monkey
Oh Socky,

You made me laugh out loud! I just made these for you for that:

!One doz roses origami-ed from Bounce sheets, and wrapped in a ShamWow for tissue!

(stems are from leftover 70s stuff still in a baggie in drawer for special occasions.)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
And I find it kinda funny.
I find it kinda sad.
The dreams in which I'm dying
Are the best I've ever had.

Sock-Monkey's picture

Submitted by DebFrmHell on July 12, 2008 - 1:09pm.
He's got one eye looking at the ceiling and one eye looking at you
Socky!!! have a big shot of Lilac Softener!

I am singing that to Alanis Morrisette now. ((one hand in my pocket))
~~~~~~~~~~~~
*deep sniff* mmmmmmmmmm....niiiice! Thanks, Deb!
*sock monkey hug & smoochie*

What it all comes down to my friends
Is that everything's just fine fine fine
I've got one hand with a dryer sheet in my pocket
And the other one is waving to my friend, Deb!...

~"~"~"~"~~Mess with me and I'll bite you!.....Monquita Loca~~"~"~"~"~

EveryStrangersEyes's picture

Submitted by Sock-Monkey on July 12, 2008 - 1:15pm.

phew!... usually i have to pay for that!

-----------------------------
"Yeah, nothing feels better, than a spray of clean water and the whistling wind on a calm summer night."

Sock-Monkey's picture

Submitted by ESE on July 12, 2008 - 1:06pm.
i was just thinkin' the other day(ala Christopher Walken's cow bell).. i need more Sock-Monkey!
~~~~~~~~~~~
ESE! You want more Sock-Monkey!? I gives you more Sock-Monkey! *parks pink Vespa* *jumping on you* *grabbing your hat & tossing it to the floor* *messing up your hair* *shaking you till your teeth rattle* *jumping down* *swift round house kick.....to your shins* Hey, you moved! I was aiming for your...oh, never mind! *hopping back on James Haven's pink Vespa* *rides off* *yelling* Me lurves you, ESE! *waving*

ON T: *flashing middle finger* Has-been.

~"~"~"~"~~Mess with me and I'll bite you!.....Monquita Loca~~"~"~"~"~

paris herpes's picture

Damn how old is DLR anyway? 80?!

Your face!

DebFrmHell's picture

Submitted by Sock-Monkey on July 12, 2008 - 12:01pm.
He's got one eye looking at the ceiling and one eye looking at you
Socky!!! have a big shot of Lilac Softener!

I am singing that to Alanis Morrisette now. ((one hand in my pocket))

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
And I find it kinda funny.
I find it kinda sad.
The dreams in which I'm dying
Are the best I've ever had.

EveryStrangersEyes's picture

Submitted by Sock-Monkey on July 12, 2008 - 1:01pm.

i was just thinkin' the other day(ala Christopher Walken's cow bell).. i need more Sock-Monkey!

OT: didn't Sammy Hagar already impersonate DLR?

-----------------------------
"Yeah, nothing feels better, than a spray of clean water and the whistling wind on a calm summer night."

Sock-Monkey's picture

He's got one eye looking at the ceiling and one eye looking at you. WTF?
Niles Crane - yeah, the raised eyebrow.

~"~"~"~"~~Mess with me and I'll bite you!.....Monquita Loca~~"~"~"~"~

parissucksliterally's picture

http://www.urbandictionary.com/author.php?author=meadow+soprano

tried again...all my words

**************************************************
"If I could, baby I'd give you my world; how can I, when you won't take it from me..?
- Fleetwood Mac "Go Your Own Way"

parissucksliterally's picture

Deb, I already have it posted on Urban Dictionary!http://www.urbandictionary.com/author.php?author=meadow+soprano

**************************************************
"If I could, baby I'd give you my world; how can I, when you won't take it from me..?
- Fleetwood Mac "Go Your Own Way"

EveryStrangersEyes's picture

*compelled to listen to "Skyscraper"*... damn you, MK!!

-----------------------------
"Yeah, nothing feels better, than a spray of clean water and the whistling wind on a calm summer night."

DebFrmHell's picture

HUYAS is a great term for Urban Dict. I submitted my BIMAs entry yesterday.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
And I find it kinda funny.
I find it kinda sad.
The dreams in which I'm dying
Are the best I've ever had.

EveryStrangersEyes's picture

Submitted by parissucksliterally on July 12, 2008 - 12:49pm.

oh yeah, i'm completely fucked now!LOL!

-----------------------------
"Yeah, nothing feels better, than a spray of clean water and the whistling wind on a calm summer night."

DiamondDawg's picture

DebfromHell! you know Tehachapi?! LOL.

hey, i gotta clean my shack today. see you lovely hores later!!

(among my chores is pulling up the giant white mushrooms that have sprouted from the rain. Get this -- my husband won't do it cuz he's AFRAID of them!! I'm going to lure him out to the backyard, then lock the sliding glass door(s) and the front door so he can't get back in. He'll be crying like a little girl!)

parissucksliterally's picture

ESE...as long as you aren't suffering from "H.U.Y.A.S." (Head Up Your Ass Syndrome) like most Americans, it's all good.

**************************************************
"If I could, baby I'd give you my world; how can I, when you won't take it from me..?
- Fleetwood Mac "Go Your Own Way"

EveryStrangersEyes's picture

Submitted by SkyBitch on July 12, 2008 - 12:46pm.

"Not in my store you don't!"... hi, SkyB!

-----------------------------
"Yeah, nothing feels better, than a spray of clean water and the whistling wind on a calm summer night."

SkyBitch's picture

Gimme a bottle of anything...and a glazed donut, to go-o-o-o-o-o-o.

☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠
Gentlemen... start your boners.

DebFrmHell's picture

Tehachapi...aaaah. The good times. There was a Mexican Food joint there over looking all the railroad tracks going in circles up the hill. that was fine for 3 dbl Jose's for the road to Vegas from SFO. Tehachapi was always my stopping point to shake off the DTs.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
And I find it kinda funny.
I find it kinda sad.
The dreams in which I'm dying
Are the best I've ever had.

Submitted by Triscuit on July 12, 2008 - 12:06pm.

Nice and happy looking family you have there. Best wishes for a happy now and future.

Snort_This's picture

i thought that pic was billy bob thorton. whats wrong with me.
__________________

"whats a justin bobby?"

EveryStrangersEyes's picture

Submitted by parissucksliterally on July 12, 2008 - 12:27pm.

at least i now know what affliction i'm suffering from... *mumbling* "bright lights and your city lights, all right...."

-----------------------------
"Yeah, nothing feels better, than a spray of clean water and the whistling wind on a calm summer night."

tinkuy's picture

no, it's not just you, MK -- DLR DOES look like DHP, especially in the photo of him in a totally gay outfit in SFGate's Daily Dish the other day:

www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/blogs/sfgate/detail?blogid=7&entry_id=27949

DiamondDawg's picture

Hey Goyo, that's a big a$$ face you got there!

Just having fun with your avie.

I have a cousin we call "Goyo" -- his name is Greg. He lives in this teeny town called Tehachapi. I lived there, too, when I was a kid. His brother had a reel-to-reel for music. I remember Led Zeppelin and roach clips...ahhhh fun times.

parissucksliterally's picture

DLR also coined the phrase "Musicosis"- when a song gets stuck in your head....

**************************************************
"If I could, baby I'd give you my world; how can I, when you won't take it from me..?
- Fleetwood Mac "Go Your Own Way"

DiamondDawg's picture

Hey! You're right! Apparently DLR is an idiot savant - here are 14 quotes he said, one already mentioned by Sheeps:

*A lot of rock bands are truly a legend in their own minds.
------

*He who knows how will always work for he who knows why.
------

I used to have a drug problem, now I make enough money.
------

I used to jog but the ice cubes kept falling out of my glass.
------

It doesn't get better, it doesn't get worse, but it sure gets different!
------

Money can't buy you happiness, but it can buy you a yacht big enough to pull up right alongside it. ----

Music is like girlfriends to me; I'm continually astonished by the choices other people make.
------

People ask me how far I've come. And I tell them twelve feet: from the audience to the stage.
-----

Rap is poetry to music, like beatniks without beards and bongos.
-----

The light you see at the end of the tunnel is the front of an oncoming train.
-----

The problem with self-improvement is knowing when to quit.
------

The world's a stage, and I want the brightest spot.
------

When you get something like MTV, it's like regular television. You get it, and at first it's novel and brand new and then you watch every channel, every show. And then you become a little more selective and more selective, until ultimately... you wind up with a radio.
------

You stick your head above the crowd and attract attention and sometimes somebody will throw a rock at you. That's the territory. You buy the land, you get the Indians.

Sheeps's picture

Submitted by DiamondDawg on July 12, 2008 - 9:21am.
there are some very TASTY CANADIANS north of us.

So true! And polite, too.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
ag troid leis mo bhean céile

DiamondDawg's picture

Ok. Let's rip on the Canucks for not thoroughly checking this guy out! Damn Canadians! (j/k - love them!)

I don't know if any of you ever listen to Coast to Coast...there's this one host named Ian Punnett and every time he comes on he says to no one in particular "And if there are any ALIENS out there listening...there are some very TASTY CANADIANS north of us."

EveryStrangersEyes's picture

hell, make Lindsay's leggings brighter colors... bam! David Lee Roth!

-----------------------------
"Yeah, nothing feels better, than a spray of clean water and the whistling wind on a calm summer night."

parissucksliterally's picture

Sheeps, DLR had a lot of great lines, both spoken and snorted....

**************************************************
"If I could, baby I'd give you my world; how can I, when you won't take it from me..?
- Fleetwood Mac "Go Your Own Way"

Sheeps's picture

DLR had a great line--something like, "Money may not buy you happiness but it lets you buy a giant fucking yacht so you can cruise right up next to it."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
ag troid leis mo bhean céile

DiamondDawg's picture

glad i didn't comment on yesterday's thread. phew! we get called asshats so much as it is!

<3 MK, you didn't know!

Goyo's picture

LOL! Fuck this world is craaaazy!

Manimal5's picture

I guess Dudley Do-Right of the Canadian police got it wrong. And really who would want to impersonate David Lee Roth?

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parkrangerpete's picture

Van Halen owns you. Bow down to them.

-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+
it's a fuckin jungle out there

Triscuit's picture

The Canadian police said the DLR's imposter has been scamming dumb bitches everywhere. He could be charged with obstruction of justice for giving a false name to cops. They also need to charge him with being pathetic enough to impersonate David Lee Roth. I think that charge carries an automatic death sentence.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
LoL!
I ♥ You so much......

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
My children..Carly and Robert...

joe shmoe's picture

Hahaha! maybe this explains something. A while back there was a report in this part of eastern Canada that DLR was spotted in a national park rambling along a hiking trail with two Shauna Sands types, who were tottering along behind him in 6 inch heels & heavy make-up.
*********
Blues is easy to play, but hard to feel~Jimi Hendrix

parissucksliterally's picture

Totally channeling Niles Crane here!

I could understand impersonating DLR 20 years ago, but now?

**************************************************
"If I could, baby I'd give you my world; how can I, when you won't take it from me..?
- Fleetwood Mac "Go Your Own Way"

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