Tom Jones Has A Big One
Elvira aka Cassandra Peterson confessed to Blender Magazine (via Showbiz) that she lost her virginity to the pepaw raisin known as Tom Jones. Elvira was working as a nudie dancer in Las Vegas when she met and fucked Pepaw Tom. The experience left her in stitches, literally.
Elvira said, "Tom seemed gentlemanly and nice, so when he was jumping on me... I thought, 'Well, if I'm ever gonna do this, it might as well be with Tom Jones.' It was painful and horrible."
She said that his dick was so big that she needed to get stitches on the chocha area afterwards. Even though Tom practically ripped her in two, she still wanted to be with him, but found out that he's a total man whore. She said, "I thought for sure we were gonna run away together and get married. I went backstage to see him the next night, but he was with his two background singers... and was all over them. I was disgusted."
Below is a vintage picture of Pepaw Tom in a speedo. That shit don't look that big. Maybe he's a grower not a shower. He probably thinks he's such a fucking stud after hearing that Elvira story. Give me a quick minute or two with his beef jerky ass. I'd be shouting at him, "That's it?! Bitch, add a thumb up in there or something!"
Thanks Stacy
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Yup, if he's thick, it could be painful, especially your first time and especially if he's the selfish type. I'm a natural redhead, as is Cassandra Peterson and we tend to be more sensitive.
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"My, my the clock in the sky is pounding away
There's so much to say..."
Tom Jones' roots become more evident the older he gets and I don't mean his hair roots.
"No matter how cynical you become, it's impossible to keep up." - Lily Tomlin
Give me a quick minute or two with his beef jerky ass. I'd be shouting at him, "That's it?! Bitch, add a thumb up in there or something!" -MK
oh shit, that's funny.
the way it props the panties up, that means it's fat. if it was real skinny, it would fold down with the panties. and when it's fat soft, it's hole-splitting fat hard. not too long, but for certain a knife & fork meal. mmm...
Ewwwww. My mother had the major hots for his hairy ass back in the 70's. I had no clue why and to this day I still don't know why. He's nasty! In that little speedo his balls are huge and his ween is small. Grower? I don't want to know.
I'm just a bit curious.The Magazine HOLLYWOOD GOSSIP reported her profiles were found on the famous wealthy dating club R I C H L O V I N G.C O M last week and she was seeking her new guy there now! BTW, The girls there are really hot!
A virgin stripper? *cough* *cough*.
tom jones splits elvira in two and she still goes back for more...kinky...
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be honest...is my wig on straight?
Tom Jones must be grower, not a show-er, judging by that bikini pic.
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"I'll go unlock the kids and make us all breakfast." - Theodore Bagwell
Submitted by letinstar on July 10, 2008 - 10:13pm.
islandgirl...you should be celebrating all of july like i'm doing...presents everyday!!!
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I know, right? I must be getting old... *busts out credit card, charges up SHOES!!*
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Póg ma thoin.
islandgirl...you should be celebrating all of july like i'm doing...presents everyday!!!
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be honest...is my wig on straight?
Is it wrong for a man to have a sugar baby?? you know it is an absolutely extramarital relationship, but more and more services come out on Internet focusing on this kind of relationship,more on SugarbabyMeet.com
Submitted by jgm22 on July 10, 2008 - 5:41pm.
She's lying. It's impossible to rip a pussy apart. If my anus can take all the huge cocks i've had, her pussy can surely take it.
you ever see a person need a c-section to drop a fat turd?
yeah, anus stretches more than pussy, ok, lol
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hot damn, ho, here we go again.
*All I can visualise is Carlton dancing in the background*
(¯`'•.¸(¯`'•.¸♥¸.•'´¯)¸.•'´¯)
Am I getting old or is the supermarket playing great music?
When a guy isn't gentle and careful with your virgin coochie, you know he's a bitch.
I love Elvira: always have.
Too bad she went for that scumbag.
"She's got wigs, she's got tits, and she knows how to take dick, she's a win-nner.."
So he tore up her coochie one night and she went to see him the next?
I'm off the Hot Pepaw after reading about the psychological trauma his womanizing has inflicted on his wife. I'm not a fan of cheating bastards.
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Wilson: "When you care about someone ..."
House: "You LIE to them!"
Not to be mean, but both of those pictures make my stomach hurt for some reason.
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Simplicity provides a fine line between eloquence and plainness. -LL Cool J
She's lying. It's impossible to rip a pussy apart. If my anus can take all the huge cocks i've had, her pussy can surely take it.
jgm22
I guess he is a grower and not a shower.
MK you're too young to know this but in the 70s TJ would sing on variety shows wearing tight pants and what looked like a large man-sausage down his leg. My mom thought he was hot but used to say he stuffed his pants with a sock. Maybe it was the real thing?!
I just would have loved to cum on her nice ass tit's lol.....
Ew, not sexy. I'd almost rather do pepaw Jones than young Jones.
You'll also notice that he's wearing those speedos really low in the picture. I bet his ass is hanging out in the back! Also for being so fit, his jaw is really undefined... a turnoff.
Submitted by Hekki on July 10, 2008 - 7:32pm.
A vag can handle just about anything, but if you're not ready and lubed up, it can certainly tear!
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As someone who has suffered because of the myth that a vag can "handle just about anything", I disagree. We're not one-size-fits-all. Some of us definitely have less clearance than others.
It would have been nice to know that at 19, instead of being fed the old "a baby can get through there so don't worry about a penis" line. A baby can't get through there without a lot of pain! And some women actually can't get a baby through there, and have to have c-sections.
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"I am not down with this backwoods skank-biscuity business." - TheBreakdown, 7/9/08
For some reason my heart warmed a little toward Elvira. Yeah, the first time having sex often sucks. I have no idea why it's so glamorized.
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"I am not down with this backwoods skank-biscuity business." - TheBreakdown, 7/9/08
That speedo photo revealed nothing, except possible tinymeat(= less than 7 long and 6 around).
What a fish calls "big" and what a sister calls big are usually two quite different things.
Next.
That's just great.
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Why not have a delicious lolly (and $100)?
Go ahead and give me shit for sayin' it but I would still bump uglies with the great and wonderful Mr. Jones. He may be an oldie but has it goin' on. Catch him in concert and see.
"Cucumbers are for lightweights! Buttered up butternut squash is the way to go!"--MK 6/4/08
Damn ! She's been talking about this for yeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrssssssssssss
now , poor thing
*you wouldn't understand it's a satanic drug thing*
Submitted by lizzieb on July 10, 2008 - 1:13pm.
He looks like a testicle lightly dusted with pubes.
That line made me lmao, also powdered donuts immediately came to mind for some reason! Tim-bits anyone??
Reminds me of my real very first time...very wide peen....very painful
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Viva, I have something EXTREMELY interesting to tell you but, I feel it wouldnt be ok to tell u if u dont wanna hear....so if you wanna know...and believe me you wanna know, let me know.
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Did you know taking alcohol up the ass gets you drunk almost IMMEDIATELY and with 10x the potantcy of taking it through the mouth because of no liver interfearance!
I used to listen to Howard Stern all the time and I can't remember what actress it was but she was older and blonde and she said that she used to date Tom and he was huge.
Apparently her vag is a hell of a lot smaller than her tits. Looking at the pix in the speedo, I would be shocked if he was packing over 3"!
TheBreakdown on July 10, 2008 - 1:21pm.
I bet Tom travels with his own portable sewing kit!
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I bet! LMAO
What bullshit. You know Hunny by the time you hit Vegas one could have driven a mack truck through your tunnel and not left scratches.
She was a virgin, anything could have been too big at that point. But what an asshole he couldn't be a little more considerate? Geez take it slow buddy.
He doesn't even look that big, he sort of looks like Brinkley's Ex.
Exactly the image I needed before lunch: A raisin penis tearing up a homely vampiress' twat.
virgin stripper?
that's an oxymoron if i've ever heard one.
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"I love fast and I love hard."-MK
Submitted by christine the hoff on July 10, 2008 - 1:32pm.
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Thank You!
♥smooootches♥
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My children..Carly and Robert...
Submitted by Triscuit on July 10, 2008 - 12:25pm.
Beautiful children
on topic, I've heard before that he's very well hung...
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"In the unlikely event of a sudden change in cabin pressure.."
ROOF FLIES OFF!
RIP George Carlin
Submitted by NovaNightly: "Seriously....a VIRGIN nude dancer???? WTF?"
That is the most incredible part of the story.
And what ricki lake said. A vag can handle just about anything, but if you're not ready and lubed up, it can certainly tear!
ew. i just re-read what i wrote and even i'm disgusted by me.
Submitted by 2Di4 on July 10, 2008 - 1:16pm.
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LMFAO...Loves it!!!
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My children..Carly and Robert...
Tom looks like a hairy piece of jerky.
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I cannot brain today....I have the dumb -lolcats
I bet Tom travels with his own portable sewing kit!
www.myspace.com/triston
If she would have just relaxed and used lube....you can stretch the va-jay jay pretty good. lmao.
Seriously....a VIRGIN nude dancer???? WTF?
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I cannot brain today....I have the dumb -lolcats
btw, did anyone else catch that bit about being a virgin stripper? i call bullshit on such shenanigans. i also demand to see pictures. was her girlie area also covered in polyester chewbacca hair?
what? that doesn't make any sense at all. stitches in the chocha? john holmes didn't even inflict that kind of damage. tom's british business looks like a walnut hanging in a loose hankie.
maybe she was born without an opening. like a barbie doll.
ew. i just re-read what i wrote and even i'm disgusted by me.
Submitted by Sandbitch on July 10, 2008 - 1:08pm.
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LOL @ your comment AND I JUST got your avvie!!!
Damn,I am not even a blonde(KIDDING)♥
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My children..Carly and Robert...
So he's packin'!
What woman wants to be hit by pepaw penis!
www.myspace.com/triston