Booby Bat
File this under: Bitch must be smoking some of the pure shit! Meet 19-year-old Abbie Hawkins from England. One afternoon, Abbie was working at her job as a hotel receptionist when she felt vibrating coming from her chichi area. Apparently, Abbie regularly keeps her cell phone in her chichis, because she figured her phone was the cause of all that shaking. I would've let the nipple tickling continue all fucking day! Shit, I would've headed to the nearest bathroom with an International Male catalog in my hands. Nipple party!
When Abbie went to grab what she thought was her mobile phone, she found a baby bat instead! According to her stupid ass, the bat had been there for about five hours. She said it was just lying in her bra. It was probably thinking, "Bitch, I'm taking a dump. Give me some privacy!"
Abbie told The Daily Mail, "I did not notice anything as I put my bra on. The night before I had had one or two drinks and I was getting ready quickly. The bra was in my drawer but it had been on the washing line the day before. When I was driving to work I felt a slight vibration but I thought it was just my mobile phone in my jacket pocket. It was quite a busy morning and I did not for one minute think it was anything other than my mobile."
The hotel's manager helped Abbie get the bat out of her bra (I'm sure he did) and he set it free.
Wait until the bitch finds the family of wombats living in her chocha. This bitch is dense! And I'm sure that poor baby bat flew to the nearest looney bin for psychiatric treatment. He's never going to be the same again.
And Xtina says "there's a bat in my chichis" at least four times a week.
Below are more pictures of dumb fuck Abbie posing with some plastic bat. No wonder she didn't notice the baby bat in her chichis, she has wonk eye for days!
Thanks Kath
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Submitted by Clarisse on July 10, 2008 - 10:39am.
"You ask them up for a cup of coffee, and if they agree, then, HAHA Sex is on! Unless the President of Burundi asks, then it's probably just a cup of coffee."
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"Shes like a catroach with nine lives and a disgusting shell"-LoLo on 6/24/08
♥♥ If you don't talk to your Cat about Catnip, who will? ♥♥
She looks like Alfalfa with boobs.
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"I am not down with this backwoods skank-biscuity business." - TheBreakdown, 7/9/08
Kizzy and Okie yall saw that too?
I promise you i was so brain busted i was watching that like it was some epic film like when Brave Heart came out and shit! ha ha ha!
Kelly! Is that you Kelly?
And the Cheney lice dude! HA HA oh the whole things was funny! My BF was like teasing me going, " whoa thats deep"
*Shakes grannie panties and frog falls out drunk with a big smile*
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We is tailing jokes in hair twoday!
I actually got stung on the boob one time by a bee that literally dropped into my bra.
Somehow I didn't think to contact the news about it though....
Mah boob swolled something fierce - my s/o was disappointed that the little bugger didn’t sting the other one.
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Work is the curse of the drinking classes.
DAE
LOL!!!
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Fuck it!
right, regardless of it being found in her bra.. what's w/ all the pics of her in her bra?? like We get it bitch.. you have Caziillllion T's..
Okie!
I know! He's talking to me about very important stuff and i'm sitting there all dreamy "ooh, you smells gooood."
Kizzy,
"Oh, Hey, you uh, hey, let me buy you a cup of coffee. Ha haaa...it's free...Haa haa...um..."
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"if I was allergic to nuts, my social life would be O-V-E-R." -M.K.
Another reason I think this is bullshit shit is because, even though MK calls him Bat Boy, Jordan does NOT look like that!
~♥~cause every moment we share together
is even better than the moment before
if every day was as good as today was
then i cant wait until tomorrow comes~Westlife~♥
Tom Cruises bootie opening has pirates in it!
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We is tailing jokes in hair twoday!
Xtina better tell bat boy to quit taking naps in other tatas besides her own. RUDE!
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Fuck it!
LoLo.. I haven't seen that epi in a while. what was that Lice's name? Kelly was it.. they talked so cute.. Save mi Babi!!
*digs frog deep out of LoLo's panties*
The poor bat will probably need theraphy. :)
Submitted by LoLo on July 10, 2008 - 10:35am
Yeah!! I saw it!! Too funny. Although somewhat sad, considering their final destination.
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"Shes like a catroach with nine lives and a disgusting shell"-LoLo on 6/24/08
♥♥ If you don't talk to your Cat about Catnip, who will? ♥♥
One more thing.
If bitch wanted her picture in the paper so she can be known for her huge tits, why did she not bother to fix the rest of herself up in any way? She has the limpest, flattest dyke hair.
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"I am not down with this backwoods skank-biscuity business." - TheBreakdown, 7/9/08
And why again was the Bat 'vibrating'?? *shines police light in Abbies face* *questions her for 18 hours*
*bangs hand on desk* "LIAR!" It was the vibrator in your bra the whole time..
I totally thought there was a bat in my bra the other day scratching the shit out of my nipple but it turned out to be chip crumbs.
*shrugs*
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Tell the fake captain that Air Marshall Carlin says "go fuck yourself"!
That's just like those girls who get pregnant and don't know until it's too late...9 months later...
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When all else fails, Eat It, Lick It, Snort It, Fuck It!
Submitted by Clarisse
Ask him up for a cup of coffee!!! ROFL
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"Shes like a catroach with nine lives and a disgusting shell"-LoLo on 6/24/08
♥♥ If you don't talk to your Cat about Catnip, who will? ♥♥
Ohhhh speaking of things that live on your body did anyone see the South Park where the kids had lice and it was like the end of the world for th lice and a fly saved the hero liece dude and his unborn lice baby by flying it to a land where they would never die and then it turns out to be Angelina's furry clam burger?
I saw that last night and i was moved to tears.
Listen, i was making out with my bong. IT WAS TOUCHING!
I just found a frog in my panties!
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We is tailing jokes in hair twoday!
Submitted by Clarisse on July 10, 2008 - 4:33pm.
For a minute there I thought you meant actual cats. Mine stink of fishmeal, kitty litter, and , occasionally, barf.
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"I am not down with this backwoods skank-biscuity business." - TheBreakdown, 7/9/08
Clarisse!! oh god. lucky lucky! Its amazing what some soap and TLC will do for a man.. unfort most american men give up as far as cleanliness goes..
Uh, ok.
Off topic.
My colleagues from Germany are in today...and GODDAMMIT one of these cats smells GOOOOOD!! I swear American men do not smell like that!!!!
I'm like "oh, hey, can you come back into my office, i want to show you my etchings..."
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"if I was allergic to nuts, my social life would be O-V-E-R." -M.K.
I gotta go with Ricki Lake on this one: CREEPY!!
Now, don't get me wrong, I am one of those weird girls that thinks that some of the lil' fuzzy bats are cute, but I don't want to be sharing a bra with any. I'll go where they are, they don't need to come to me.
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"Shes like a catroach with nine lives and a disgusting shell"-LoLo on 6/24/08
♥♥ If you don't talk to your Cat about Catnip, who will? ♥♥
The more I think about this post, the more it pisses me off.
Seriously, if this is the only way to get your fifteen minutes, who would want it?
And then she ran to a media outlet to report this foulness?
Silly ho.
Now I bet she has rabid titties!
www.myspace.com/triston
No way, that things lil sharp nails would hve clawed her or some shit.. Does her phone have some kind of GD fur on it too! who's this bitch fooling. Not me!!
I call bullshit. How could there be any room in that bra for a bat? There's not even enough room for the chichis.
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"I am not down with this backwoods skank-biscuity business." - TheBreakdown, 7/9/08
Submitted by Sheeps on July 10, 2008 - 10:29am.
Thanks, fortunately the Alzheimers will make me forget the old comment before I get to the end of this sen...whoops, crapped myself.
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My life is nothing but a convoluted drinking game.
So you didn't notice a bat was in your bra? Riiight, sure you didn't *rolls eyes*
Well at she thought of a new way to get her 15 mins...
~♥~cause every moment we share together
is even better than the moment before
if every day was as good as today was
then i cant wait until tomorrow comes~Westlife~♥
hahah LoLo.. bedazzled.. I bedazzle my pubes.. of course, i have to use spray and mat them up real thick to get the beads to stick.. but what some shiny loot coot you'll find if you go a digging..
I love how MK calls her Dumb Fuck Abbie.. *swoons*
How fucked up must one be to not notice critters in their underwear?? Critters are not supposed to be camped out in your undies. How does a bat get past you????
This is exactly the type of skank biscuit that years later...everyone finds out she's fucking household pets.
Why stop at winged creatures?
This has The Animal Planet weekly series written all over it.
"Chimpanzee on My Cha Cha!"
"Ferret Fucker!"
www.myspace.com/triston
Bat#1 to Bat#2:: "we can stop here, this IS bat country"
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You laugh because I'm different. I laugh because I just farted.
TV Happy Birthday you old fucker!!! Whooooo!
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Why not have a delicious lolly (and $100)?
Submitted by islandgirl on July 10, 2008 - 7:24am.
Some people will go to any lengths to get their tits in the paper. Bat, my arse.
Exactly. And for the rag to feature it on a cover sidebar.
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Why not have a delicious lolly (and $100)?
She's actually very lucky, Madonna's vadge has mice.
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My life is nothing but a convoluted drinking game.
OH!
okaaay.... ummmmmmmmmm..... BITCH MUST HAVE STILL BEEN DRuuuuuuuuuUNK! Like wow!
Perhaps the bat nestled into the little pocket where the push up thingie part is in the bras where you can take those bitches out. I dunno wtf they are called they are shitty and VS sells them.
I dont wear bras if i dont have to. I liberated my titties. I Liberachied them too! BEDAZZLED!
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We is tailing jokes in hair twoday!
Um, fucking CREEPY! A bat once somehow got into my dorm room at college. It flew right by my head while I was at my computer and I ran screaming from the room like a little girl. Then, tentatively, I went back and hid my drugs before I called security. They didn't find the bat. I'm still paranoid it's somewhere in my things.
Some people will go to any lengths to get their tits in the paper. Bat, my arse.
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Póg ma thoin.