Booby Bat
File this under: Bitch must be smoking some of the pure shit! Meet 19-year-old Abbie Hawkins from England. One afternoon, Abbie was working at her job as a hotel receptionist when she felt vibrating coming from her chichi area. Apparently, Abbie regularly keeps her cell phone in her chichis, because she figured her phone was the cause of all that shaking. I would've let the nipple tickling continue all fucking day! Shit, I would've headed to the nearest bathroom with an International Male catalog in my hands. Nipple party!
When Abbie went to grab what she thought was her mobile phone, she found a baby bat instead! According to her stupid ass, the bat had been there for about five hours. She said it was just lying in her bra. It was probably thinking, "Bitch, I'm taking a dump. Give me some privacy!"
Abbie told The Daily Mail, "I did not notice anything as I put my bra on. The night before I had had one or two drinks and I was getting ready quickly. The bra was in my drawer but it had been on the washing line the day before. When I was driving to work I felt a slight vibration but I thought it was just my mobile phone in my jacket pocket. It was quite a busy morning and I did not for one minute think it was anything other than my mobile."
The hotel's manager helped Abbie get the bat out of her bra (I'm sure he did) and he set it free.
Wait until the bitch finds the family of wombats living in her chocha. This bitch is dense! And I'm sure that poor baby bat flew to the nearest looney bin for psychiatric treatment. He's never going to be the same again.
And Xtina says "there's a bat in my chichis" at least four times a week.
Below are more pictures of dumb fuck Abbie posing with some plastic bat. No wonder she didn't notice the baby bat in her chichis, she has wonk eye for days!
Thanks Kath
LOL@wombats in her chocha.. oh man..ur too funny.. i love it.. besides the pictures of these movie stars acting stupid..your posts about them is quite entertianing..keeps me coming back to your site.. love the WONK EYE comment
Wanna see more beautiful breats???Come to SugarbabyMeet.cQm.
I like her breast.... I would have helped her get the bat out, although it would have taken several hours and she would have to remove her pants first.
what the fuck!
i can't even fathom this.
i am such shock, i can't digest this.
how do you not realize a BAT is in your bra?
i would have never told anyone if that happened.
it would have gone to the grave.
xoxo
l.danielle
I'd rather have Christian Bale in my bra all day.
Ugly bra. Ugly face. Stupid story. Yawn.
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Swiggity switch it up!
SLOT BATS! OKAY WOW!
?&!
"Don't get me twisted with average fan losers you have encountered. I am not one of them."
"I am more of a manipulative bitch than a cunt"
"LOVE ANGELINA aka HEART ANGELINA aka ???"
in spain, chichi can mean vagina, so for a second i thought that's where she stuffed her mobile phone. i thought, eww!
i need more coffee....
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i am courtney love's original face.
I think it's a BS story too. So, for 5 hrs the phone vibrated how many times and you didn't look to see who was calling?
What a stupid photo shoot. The story's fake and
she's ugly too!
I thought no one could beat Phoebe Price at making a fool of themselves. A bat in someone's tities and that made the news? The Daily Mail must've had a very, very slow day.
She just wanted to show us her tits. Fucking bimbos *eyeroll*.
I mean, seriously - what's with all the drama shots?
♥ ThreadKilla! Lean Like a Chola
Submitted by Miss Priss on July 10, 2008 - 3:40pm.
DAE
LOL!!!
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Right back at ya!
~♥~cause every moment we share together
is even better than the moment before
if every day was as good as today was
then i cant wait until tomorrow comes~Westlife~♥
Quick! Somebody call Niecy Nash and the Gang!
How dirty is her house that a frigging bat was nesting in her bra? I mean I'm no neat freak but I think I would be able to see if a baby bat was napping in my underwear
stake_spike:
it's called beer and barley.
it's called last call at 11, so you better gulp that shit down fast!
www.myspace.com/triston
Why do British chicks always have such huge breasts???? Is it something in the water?
Didn't you already do this story? I read this like Monday or Friday.
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People Suck!
O stop! How do you put on a bra and not realize there's a bat in there!? You know she's gotta shovel them things in there to begin with...and the bat just sat through it all...Honestly. Do you think I'm five?
♥ ThreadKilla! Lean Like a Chola
The only thing grosser than not knowing if there are animals in your underwear is doing the above photo shoot.
the bats are in her belfry not her bra
What a mayjah idiot.
I call shenanigans. Doesn't she have feeling in her enormous breasteses?
Yesterday I found two unweaned teeny tiny baby bats on the floor of the garage. They were covered in mites, had no hair and their eyes weren't open. They were squeaking a lot. They also had very sharp claws on their feet and wings. I doubt you could have a bat in your bra and not know it. I think this is a story for the Weekly World News.
(I took the two babies to a wildlife rescue centre btw.)
that's just fucking disgusting. A little popcorn falls down my bra at the theater and I damn near snatch my titties off trying to dust of that kernel and you mean to tell me she didn't feel a warm, living, breathing creature nestled at her bosom.
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Those photos just gave me this awful longing to have kinky lesbo sex with her, but I'll assume she's like all mechanics and will charge me for a bunch of shit she didn't even do. - Trinityadams
why cant i find stuff that interesting in my bra?
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Poor bat. The craziest thing i ever found in my bra was a Euro coin after an all-nighter at some French clubs. Didn't find it until i was getting ready to take a shower the following evening.
And i LOVE that South Park episode. "How did a louse like me get so lucky to have a louse like you?"
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"F*ck you Tyra Banks, Oprah, Magic Johnson, Tiger Woods, Rockefeller. F*ck you." - La Pequena Hillary Clinton, 6/17/08
Whaaaat? I only wish I was high while reading that story. If this is true, I hope she went to the doctor to get checked out. I don't remember where it happened, but like a year or two ago, a 12 year old girl died from getting bit by a baby bat. She found it in the attic, held it in her hand and didn't even realize it had bit her. I guess it was rabid.
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Cancel my subscription to the resurrection. Send my credentials to the house of detention. I got some friends inside.
With the way her tits over fill that bra, there is no way in hell a baby bat was in there. The poor thing would have suffocated to death.
The bitch is either a liar, delusional, numb from the waist up or all of tha above.
Baby bats BITE!! The things people will do to get their fug face in the paper
Why do so many women in UK have enormous breasts? Seriously, what is it? lol
Dear Attention;
I've loved you all my life but you've ignored me. Please send me a sign that you care, like having a bat fly into my $12.99 Jacklyn Smith K-Mart bra. If you do, I will be eternally grateful. I will pose for laughably amateurish glamor shots with a plastic version of you and I won't even get my hair done or put on my good make-up from Rite-Aid. I'll keep it all natural for you, so we can keep our love on the DL.
PS - If you still want to see me fifteen minutes and one second from now, you WILL def get oral.
Love,
Abbie Hawkins
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You are of your own climax.
Submitted by Clarisse on July 10, 2008 - 8:35am.
Uh, ok.
Off topic.
My colleagues from Germany are in today...and GODDAMMIT one of these cats smells GOOOOOD!! I swear American men do not smell like that!!!!
I'm like "oh, hey, can you come back into my office, i want to show you my etchings..."
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There's nothing like a good-smelling man. You need to learn how to say "There's a bat vibrating in my bra, can you help me please?" in German, in some private office somewhere.
I can't help you there; all I know is danke shoen.
On the opposite hand, bat guano is toxic!
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I think it would be interesting if old people got anti-Alzheimer's disease where they slowly began to recover other people's lost memories. - George Carlin
That's what you get when you get a pearl necklace from Bruce Wayne.
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"Fuck off, ya Bitch-holes." by my son. I am so proud...
yeah, right. What a butterface.
She looks beautiful. I saw her profile on milllionaire personals site ****"AffluentBachelors . c o m"****
last week. It is said she is dating young billionaire on that site.
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I once nuzzled a squirrel in my chichi cleavage for a week. The little son a bitch used me for cleavage crumbs and then just up and left.
hmmmm...sure.
How can you not notice there is something is your bra? And a BAT? um, ok.
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“It’s even worse when they try to shake your hand. I’m like, ‘F**k off, wash your hand, it’s just been on your d*ck!!’”
-James McAvoy, on meeting fans in the bathroom
Gee thanks, MK, for reminding me of the cavalcade of flaming douche that is IM. I used to REALLY look forward to getting the catalog like, twenty years ago, if you catch my drift. But then I found out that most sophisticated gay guys didn't wear shit like that except for some of my small-town midwestern friends who bought suitcases full to take on trips to Miami Beach or Palm Springs. Yikes.
"I guess time seems to stretch out when you don't really give a fuck." -- MK, 07/07/08
Kizzy.. No I was talking about coffee on his, as in dude Clarisse said smells good, silly!! haha!
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@clarisse.. Meet me in the janitors closet in 5 minutes!!
My acute powers of perception suggest those photos are a reenactment.
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Why not have a delicious lolly (and $100)?
I don't understand why a girl with a rack like that would need to make up a bullshit story to get them in the papers. All she had to do was take her shirt off.
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Surfing the apocalypse.
Kizzy,
Use a quote by a British trannie born in Yemen to pick up a German man w/the last name of Sanchez. Makes sense!
Okie,
Snikey! We need a moment alone now.
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"if I was allergic to nuts, my social life would be O-V-E-R." -M.K.
I heard about this on the radio yesterday and she said she felt sorry for disturbing the bat when she found it cause it was sleeping. This makes me think the whole story is made up or she is f*ing bat-shit crazy!
Submitted by Snoogle on July 10, 2008 - 10:29am.
Bat#1 to Bat#2:: "we can stop here, this IS bat country"
LOL, finally found someone who wants to stop in bat country. Loves that book and movie!
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Bonjour, sales putes! Bienvenue à Fuckcity!
Oh, and what a fucking retarded, cheesy photo shoot. UGH!
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Tell the fake captain that Air Marshall Carlin says "go fuck yourself"!
Kmart bras SUCK!
Need coffeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.......
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Support Bacteria - They're the only culture some people have. - Steven Wright
What effing girl just throws on her bra and goes?? Seriously...i have to do some major adjusting to get my chichis all comfy and shizz....and this bitch has GINORMOUS ones, which she is obviously proud of. Get a better bra though dumb ass!!!
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Support Bacteria - They're the only culture some people have. - Steven Wright
Submitted by oklahoma on July 10, 2008 - 10:45am.
OklaHOma, I'm a girl, you merkin-knitter!!
It's part of an Eddie Izzard bit. ROFL
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"Shes like a catroach with nine lives and a disgusting shell"-LoLo on 6/24/08
♥♥ If you don't talk to your Cat about Catnip, who will? ♥♥
I guess its worse than a beetle in your underwear, I always shake my clothes when they come off the clothes line anymore.
Um. Ok. I'll have what she's drinking.
Oh Clarisse.. You can spill said Kizzy's coffee on his shirt, and be like. "here let me take that wet shirt for you" while rubbing over his bulging chest, big bulging chest *closes eyes* and then take his pants too cause that wouldn't match him just wearing them w/ out a shirt.. And say, lets run to my house, I have a dryer, its called "my bed" then purr like a kitten into his sweet soft ears.. hahaha.. I'm hot for teacher!!!
Submitted by LoLo on July 10, 2008 - 10:41am.
Kizzy and Okie yall saw that too?
ROFL That shit was funny ass hell!! I loved the Cheney lice, it was hilarious.
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"Shes like a catroach with nine lives and a disgusting shell"-LoLo on 6/24/08
♥♥ If you don't talk to your Cat about Catnip, who will? ♥♥